Our Only Option
I despise life and everything about it but why do I still keep on living. I'm Natsume Hyuga, an average teen well not that average, I'm an Emo. But I'm not emo because of those trends like wearing eyeliner and stuff; I'm not emo because of their cool hair styles that nearly covers your eyes. I'm emo from within, I'm emo because it reflects the true me.
My life revolves around darkness and silence. Everything I loved all vanished in front of me in just a swift second. My family and friends they were burned in front of me, I was the only one left living after that incident. I despise laughter, I despise smiles and other stuffs that make a person want to jump and frolic around. Ugh... shit these things are just too irritating for me, for my mind. I forgot how to laugh, how to be happy ever since that dreadful day. I'd rather be alone than be surrounded by a crowd full of chattering pests all I want is silence and only silence.
But the thing I despise the most is LOVE. It's such a stupid damned emotion. The sight of couples holding each others hand… makes me want to vomit, it SICKENS ME!!! PEOPLE WHO FALL IN LOVE ARE IDIOTS, BASTARDS! And I swore to myself that I will never fall unconditionally irrevocably in love. Blah, blah, blah… love … well it's the most despicable thing, I'd rather cry than be in love.
I walked out of the house wearing a black polo shirt, three buttons untied and denim jeans. Nope, if you thought that black is my favorite color and that it's the only color of shirt that is found in my closet. It's just because black reflects who I am, a person of darkness.
As I was walking along the park I noticed that the cherry blossoms were blooming radiantly. Their pink petals falling gracefully on my raven hair and so I decided to sit on the branch of a certain cherry blossom tree and fell into deep slumber.
"This seems like a nice place" a voice said in a gloomy tone
She was a young brunette with chocolate orbs and she was holding a razor and was preparing to cut her almost tanned wrist. Blood then appeared dripping on the edge of the thin, sharp razor. and she was crying, crying all her heart out.
"hey, little girl what are you doing" I said jumping from the firm branch of the tree.
"What do you think?" she answered in a dark tone as blood continued to drip from her wrist.
"tch..."
"Wait … a ... are you emo?!?" the brunette asked confusingly
"Yeah... and you care about me being an emo why?" I said in a bored tone.
"Well you don't seem like one I mean you don't wear any eyeliner… hey since we're both emo can we be friends… my name is Mikan Sakura.. what's your? "she said in a sing- song voice.
"Hn... Mikan well that's such an idiotic name… My name is Natsume…"
"hey you're evil!" Mikan pouted but her pout it was really cute.
"idiot"
"jerk"
"moron"
"bastard"
We talked to each other the whole day ignoring those people who were laughing and giving us stares of disgust. I would tease her and she would tease me back and on that very day I smiled and I felt complete. Hours passed and it was time for us to depart but before we left she did something.
"Hey Mikan what do you think you're doing?" I asked
"Carving…" she replied busily carving the bark of the tree, "there all done"
It had our initials on it but the initials weren't placed in a heart it was placed in a circle.
We waved goodbye to each other. I was lucky to have known a person who can understand me to know who I really who felt the same way as I do to treat me as if I was not an out cast an exile but a person who can feel in the same way that everybody does. Everyday we would sit and chat under this cherry blossom tree. Here we met, here we chatted, here we would annoy each other, here we spent eternity.
We soon knew more about each other. She was a girl of death she committed suicide multiple times but still lived because there was something that stopped her. Mikan believes that she was dying from the inside, her soul slowly disappearing from the face of the earth, from the face of the galaxy; this was her point of view.
"Um… Natsume why is it that you live alone?" Mikan asked randomly
"They're dead" I answered as if I were in a trance
"who's dead,?"
"my family and friends" I answered, I was about to sob but I mustn't heck I was in front of a girl.
"why were they dead?"
"They got burned in a building when we celebrated my 13th birthday party"
Silence surrounded us.
Days passed and I never saw Mikan after our little conversation, I felt so incomplete so vulnerable without her, until…
"Mikan where did you go? Its been like five days since we last talked to each other" I asked with a smile on my face, I was happy to see her, I was now complete.
"Remember what I said about me dying from the inside, I'm… I'm dying already and maybe tomorrow we won't see each other, maybe tomorrow you'll see me in a coffin." her face was filled with a dark aura. She was crying.
"What the heck are you saying?" I was shaking her violently
"I…Love you… But I must bid goodbye. I lucky I fell in love with my best friend."
No this cannot be she's going to die. But doesn't she understand that I love her, I need her. Doesn't she understand that she completes me; she cleanses me, she the mask that separated me from the rest. Doesn't she understand that I love her?
"NO… NO… YOU CANT DIE YOU MUST NOT DIE!! I need you..." I was shedding tears I didn't care if she sees me cry. All I care about now is to spend eternity with her.
"I need you too." She was then silent. The zephyr sky was now enveloping the bright horizon. The petals of the cherry blossom swiftly falling on our head. But all I cared about now is to be with her forevermore.
If death was the only answer left then I will accept it. It will silence our souls, it will bind our hearts into one, and it will make us invulnerable because we are togheter even in death.
"I know that you don't want me to die but I need you, and if death is the only option left then I'm willing to do it, and it seems like the best way to go."
We lay on the green grass and closed our eyes. She pressed her soft tender lips on to mine, and I kissed her back. I held a dagger and pierced our hearts, darkness enveloped us and death greeted us. Then we were prepared to accept eternal slumber. We were now at peace, our souls, our vows, we were entwined by destiny and even destiny can't break our love. I was lucky to have fallen in love with her, my best friend, my life.
And so this ends the story of an emo who despises love, who swore never to fall in love and fell unconditionally irrevocably in love with his fellow emo.