Author: Edesina
Beta: choki-choki
Rating: T

Pairing: Yumi/Sachiko
Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Songfic
Disclaimer: I don't own Marimite and the lyrics (in italics) are from the song Time by I'dees.
Summary: Police officers had found a hidden bottle of small pills. The analysis had revealed the horrifying truth: LSD, also known as Blue Heaven.

Warnings: Character death, drugs, suicidal behavior
A/N: First, thank you for helping me with this, choki-choki.

I know, I know… Idea is old as sky… But this song requires angst and tragedy. If you haven't heard it, I recommend that you open Youtube and search this song. It is pretty beautiful and unknown.

That drugs part…. I dunno. Hopefully I didn't mess with the facts. And about the title, Blue heaven is commonly known as LSD and Angel dust as cocaine. In the text is also mentioned "Cloud" – hashish. I don't know why but there aren't many fics about drugs here o_O

Blue Heaven, Angel Dust

Here we are
And our lifes like butterflies
Will fly away from us towards the sky

Cold sunrays dance eerily on the tall, green grass. The time has stopped here, not even quiet steps can be heard. A lone butterfly flies past me, has it lost its soul mate? I can feel the wind but when I look at the blossoming cherry trees the pink flowers are completely still, frozen.

It's so cold and dead. This is why I hate graveyards – I keep on shivering. Tombstones after tombstones, the ground has an eternal tear-veil. This is a place where lies painful memories, ground is stained with tear-droplets. Un-welcome and painful memories crawl into my mind without asking permission.

**She is hugging me, tears of happiness running down on her cheeks. She graduated with excellent grades and got in the Lillian University. She didn't know how much I hated it. She'll go away and I am all alone. Just a couple of years and she would become vet – a dream of hers. Shall I be the forgotten one? Disregarding my thoughts, I smiled and congratulated her. My fears were not going to ruin her special day. **

The time of laughter the time of tears
The time of dreams and many fears
Will be erased for memory

I see the familiar stone, the one that haunted me. Her grave. The stone is pure white marble, as pale as her skin was. Her sudden death was a shock to everyone. How could a perfectly happy person like her commit a suicide? No one had the answer; it had vanished into thin air when she took her last breath. We could only keep guessing.

Of course I wondered why? What could have been so bad that she needed to escape from it? We were happy together, weren't we? Was it because of me? What did I do wrong?

** "Onee-sama?" I whispered. We were in a dark closet embracing each other. The closeness was like electricity, it turned my blood into fiery hot lava.
"Shh… Not now, Yumi," she almost purred to my ear. Her lips nibbled my ear, jaw line, neck. The gentle touches were slowly driving me crazy. I wanted her now and a few kisses weren't enough to satisfy my needs. **

A small piece of paper shed light to the mystery. Since it wasn't essential part of crime investigation anymore, two days ago I had received my onee-sama's last words. She had written a short letter which only caused more pain and confusion. Wasn't I good enough for her? Didn't I deserve more than a handful of words? Then why did she write?

"Sorry, Yumi. I guess I couldn't reach the Heaven even with the guidance of Angels. I hope you can forgive me one day.
- Sachiko"

Police officers had found hidden bottles of small pills and powders along with that note. The analysis had revealed the terrifying truth: LSD, also known as Blue Heaven and a small amount of Snow, heroin. People said that addicts wanted to escape reality.

What had been so special about the drugs? Why had she chosen false reality instead of me? I blamed myself for not being good enough for her and in the same time I was desperately searching the answer. I was angry, really mad at her for leaving me in the dark. She had never said a thing yet I failed to notice her inner pain, depression and fragility.

My first meeting with cloud was weird to say the least. I was fully aware that I was doing the same as my onee-sama. I was desperate to find out the truth. If it meant that I had to smoke a bit different tobacco from the usual so be it.

See how far
We're going trying to hold on
To what we gotta look for reasons why

It was a sweet brush with illegal activities, intoxicating. For the first time in a couple of months living felt good. The excitement of breaking the law was amazing and Cloud opened my eyes for the first time in my life. I no longer suffered, her death was just a horror of my imagination. Everything felt so real. I noticed voices I didn't know existed, the smell of our bedroom, the taste of water. And I knew she was coming back home, I just had to wait.

Imagine life is just a dream
Imagine you imagine me
Travelling on the wings of time
Don't know where or why

Cloud gazing soon wasn't enough to numb my pain, the world slowly lost its colours one by one. The month after my fist time is just a blur. Shattered nightmare, full of disconnected faces, conversations and persons. All I can remember was that I tried everything I could to avoid feeling anything when I couldn't smoke. It wasn't rare that I woke up next to an unknown person and had a hellish hangover. Those mornings reminded me of our last meeting, as different as that beginning of the day had been.

**She looked sick, her skin was paler than usual, almost lucid. What had former been rose pink lips were now just a shadow. Only her eyes had preserved the sparkle.

"You should eat, onee-sama," I scolded her, she hadn't touched her breakfast. She really made me worry, she had withered in a flash. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just not hungry," she replied and sipped her coffee. Her hands were trembling, not because the lack of caffeine though. That was her fifth mug this morning. How could she drink that much coffee anyway? And strong coffee, it was more like tar!

"Tell me, Yumi," she hesitated for a moment. "Do you believe in God?"
"No," I finally replied tilting my head to the left. She didn't mimic the move, not anymore. "Do you?"
"I believe in Heaven." **

I wonder if she reached the heaven she believed in. Cloud was replaced with cocaine because I liked the nickname – Angel Dust. Onee-sama had been my angel so it felt right to let an angel soothe my pain. And the world regained the colours again.

I never noticed my reflection; a ghostlike and malnourished girl who never learnt to leave past behind. I had no strength to care.

'Couse we can't turn back time
We can't turn back time

Fin

A/N2: Snow is also cocaine's nickname but since Yumi uses that drug (and the nick Angel Dust) I thought that Sachiko might use a bit stronger stuff. Also I might write a sequel to this if it's wanted ;)