Introductions

A/N: This is a self insert into the Percy Jackson universe. This story will be an introduction into a long series of stories. Reviews are always appreciated. This will, eventually feature adult content, and will have an abundance of swearing. Don't like, don't read.

Why am I writing these words? To whom will they reach? I don't know. It is something I must do, however. I just have to.

Who am I? I don't know. Who are any of us. My name, however, is Umbra. Umbra di' Angelo. Latin, before you ask. I am almost sixteen. Short for my age, black hair. Fairly toned muscles, but not bulging. I'm as white as a ghost. Same as my siblings. Nico and Bianca.

I made sure they were safe. Then, well, then I went somewhere I never want to be. Camp Half-Blood. Backwards bunch of Neanderthals. Still using swords and arrows in the twenty-first century. Bah.

I always keep my specially made gun on me, though. Well, three of them. And three swords. Made entirely out of Stygian Iron. Same for my ammo. I trained myself to shoot. A tad off aim every now and then.

But I digress. I start my story as I approach the gates of this… camp. Bah. Can't believe that I had to leave my Ferrari behind. It's hidden though, thank god. Might have to disinfect it later, though. Ah well, I stole it in the first place.

As I enter the camp an arrow shoots me in the arm. I stopped and looked at her. She went pale white, as though she had seen a ghost. I pulled the arrow out, turned, and kept walking. I think I heard her faint. Poor soul.

As I peaked the hill and the camp came into view I could see several buildings. Made out of stone. Nice architecture, ugly as fuck though. Who the hell still builds with stone? Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. Then there was a more modern town house. Could use a paint job.

Behind that was a strawberry farm. Probably there cover business. Least they can do one thing right. Probably taste like shit though. The prices we pay.

I started to descend the hill. The campers probably hadn't noticed me yet. It's a shame. I could use a fight. But they seem wrapped up in their business.

A few minutes of walking until the more modern house. They are starting to notice me now. Staring. Whispering. The oldest I see are, maybe, fifteen. Morionem.

I reach the house. A Centaur is there. And… well, this is unexpected. It… no. Why would a god be here? That makes no sense.

"May I help you?" the Centaur asks, showing some mild curiosity. I've never known his kind to be civil.

"My name is Umbra di' Angelo. First born son of Lady di' Angelo, and son of Hades'."

"Hades' has had no known children in the past decade."

"Of course not. He would not break the oath. This Umry is obviously bluffing." pipes up the other. I was right. He is a god. A minor one, sure, but still a god nonetheless.

"Then explain how I know that you are an Immortal when I've never seen you before. Or how I got in here. Also, it's Umbra. I get it. You don't want to be here. You hate being here. I don't want to be here either. But you don't have to be a dick. I am ashamed to know you're an Olympian," he snarls as I finish. "In any event, I was born in during World War Two. Italia. La Patria."

"Then how are you alive. Your father resurrect you?" the god asks.

"I put myself and my siblings in the Lotus Casino in Vegas once the oath was put into affect. Well, under my father's urging…" I drifted off as I noticed a boy walk towards us. He couldn't be more than fourteen.

"Chiron? Who's this?" asked the boy.

"He's… a guest. Percy, find Anabeth. Find Grover, two." Chiron said.

"So… you're the legendary Chiron. I suddenly understand a bit more. That's what this place is for. Huh." I said.

"Yes. Now, we'll talk more when the three who will join you in bringing your siblings here get here." Chiron said.

"Wait. You. God. What's your name?" I asked.

"Mr. D." he said.

"Your real name." I demanded.

"… Dionysus." he said.

"Well… don't suppose you could make me a beer?" I ask him.

"You're underage. And, even if I wanted to, I can't. Been banned from alcohol." he said.

"Sucks to be you. How exactly does that work, anyway? I mean, you can't die. So why not just do it anyway? Plus, if you're the god of wine, how do you banned from alcohol? That's… you're kind of a pussy, aren't you? I mean, if you won't stand up something you believe in…"

"Kid, I'll let you off with a warning this time. Wear my patients again, I'll send you to your daddy faster then you could…" he stops as I appear with my dagger at his throat.

"Care to finish that thought?" I ask as I apply pressure.

Chiron clears his throat.

"Shall we head inside? I think I see Percy now." he asks.

"Sure. But Dicky here get's me a drink, ASAP," I say. "Now!"

He scurries off.