"So, go over it again," he asked the blond woman sitting on his bed.
"Tomorrow, you'll be out walking the neighborhood. You will see a small child playing in the street. When the car comes around the corner, you won't stop to think about the consequences." The woman's lips turned up in smirk.
"What happens if I'm not there? Won't the kid die?"
"You needn't worry. The child will live whether you're there or not."
He got the feeling he wasn't running on all eight cylinders here. Having a woman with glowing gold hair pop out of your computer screen tends to do that to you.
"You're not leaving until I make a wish, correct?"
"Correct. I would never let you get away. Law and Chaos living harmoniously in one being. In every other being in the world, Law and Chaos snarl at each others throats like dogs in the wild. Your Chaos and your Law are like lovers."
He opened his mouth to make some sort of smart remark. "I wish…,"
Part of his mind screamed its lungs out at the rest of him. He was dealing with a near-as-omnipotent-as-made-no-difference being of pure Chaos, sitting on his bed. And he had just said those words.
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Genma grumbled as he walked along. The grumbling, however, was nothing new.
Ever since that fiasco with the Cat Fist. Genma had opened up the lid to see if the boy had learned the technique yet when two spitting and yowling felines were thrown in his face. The cats, and then Ranma, had proceeded to beat the living tar out of Genma. The boy no longer showed any kind of respect for Genma. Why, he wouldn't even steal when Genma asked. To top it all off, the boy had forgotten nearly all of his martial arts training, meaning Genma had to start all over again from scratch.
Ranma grumbled too. He was stuck in his absolute least favorite anime. The only way it could be any worse would be crossover elements with Sailor Moon. Ranma prayed that this timeline was close to canon.
He should have just wished for a really cool watch.
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The Jusenkyo springs. The multitudinous pools of sorrow. Ranma was having none of it.
"Get off the damn pole, Genma," Ranma said to his (even though he hated the fact) father.
"He very big idiot, no?" asked the Jusenkyo Guide.
"I wish I could say you were wrong," Ranma replied with a sigh. "You wouldn't be interested in adopting me, would you?"
"Sorry, Mr. Customer, but no. Have enough problems with daughter as is."
"I was afraid you might say that." Ranma looked over to where Genma was balanced above one of the springs. That pole didn't look very sturdy. Ranma suppressed the urge to knock Genma in. He couldn't do that. Even if the bastard deserved it. Even if he was a raging idiot. Even if he was a gluttonous, lazy slug. It would be wrong to push him in.
Ranma had turned his back on the man when he heard a splash. Looking back around, it was quite obvious where Genma had gone.
"IF YOU WERE GONNA KNOCK HIM IN, WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD FUN WITH IT?" he screamed at the heavens.
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"Actually, I've never met him."
Right about when the words passed his lips, Soun realized that probably wasn't the wisest thing to say. Cowardly instincts, honed by long tutelage under Happosai, kicked in as he stared at the rising glow surrounding his youngest daughter.
Soun Tendo was, quite literally, saved by the bell.
Soun himself dove for the door, putting as much distance between him and Akane as possible. He stood up, brushed off bits of gravel, and opened the door.
Soun! My old friend!
Whatever he had been expecting, a three-toed sloth waving a sign around hadn't been one of them.
"Knock it off, Genma," grumbled the young man carrying the sloth, "You're in your cursed form now, remember?"
Soun's eyes widened. That poise! The way the jacket and jeans were worn! This young man just had to be…
Wait a minute…
Ranma obviously had little care for personal appearance. His clothes were ratty and he needed a shave. The bird's nest of hair at the top of Ranma's head badly needed combing. Maybe he could convince Ranma to at least trim his stubble before meeting the girls.
"Oh, is this Ranma?" asked Nabiki from behind her father.
Too late.
Nabiki's line of thinking went slightly different from Soun's. In her experience, the few emotionally well-adjusted people in Tokyo didn't give a damn what others thought of them. Mostly it was the burakumin, who were already despised by the general Japanese populous, that said "Fuck you" to the rest of the world. Being alienated by society had placed them in a situation that was beyond their control. With so many people seeing them as worthless, the burakumin had found that accepting this fact was easier and healthier than railing against it. Often, if one got to know Japan's unsung minority, one found that the burakumin lived genuinely happy lives, unconcerned about the outside world's opinion of them. Ranma, like the burakumin, obviously was possessed of enough self-confidence to realize that he was happiest being who he was.
In short, Ranma was comfortable enough in his own skin that he didn't bother trying to look good for others.
Slight problem: Nabiki liked controlling others. And if Ranma was what she thought he was, Ranma would turn out to be just as wild and untamable as his namesake.
Nabiki reserved her planning until she could gain more information on how the Wild Horse reacted to his outside world. For now she would play dutiful fiancée and watch from the sidelines.
Kasumi saw Ranma following Nabiki and came to much the same conclusion as her father. Akane saw only a perverted BOY, if only dirtier than most.
Ranma set Genma down next to the table and tried to hide his smirk. He was in Tokyo finally and could now get away from Genma. Maybe he should provoke Akane into attacking him. He oh so hated the bitch. Oh god would it be good to smack her around some. With a sigh, he reminded himself that bullying people was wrong. No matter how tempting.
"So, uh, son," began Soun, still a little unsure of how to proceed, "I thought your father would be coming here with you. Is he coming along later?"
Ranma visibly repressed a snicker. "No, he's here. If I could have some hot water I'll explain."
Nabiki looked askance at him. "Hot water?"
The youth nodded.
Some moments later Kasumi returned from the kitchen, handing a steaming kettle to Ranma. Ranma nodded his thanks and doused the sloth sitting next too him.
The four Tendos abruptly had their hair standing on end. Watching a three-toed sloth transform into a fat example of humanity can be surprising. Genma ignored such unimportant things as his hosts' discomfort and embraced his old friend. Then promptly reversed their traditional roles by weeping tears of joy.
Ranma removed a rain-poncho from his pack and slipped it on.
"Oh God, Soun! It's terrible!" wailed Genma while still crushing the only male Tendo. "Ever since I tried to train the boy in the Cat Fist he's never respected me!"
"Not much to respect," commented Ranma as he pulled on a set of rubber waders. Kasumi went to get a mop.
Genma was undeterred. "He refuses to participate in the true training of Anything Goes as the Master taught us! He continually insults me at every turn!"
"Continually outsmart you, you mean." Ranma resumed removing snorkeling gear from his pack.
"He makes a mockery of the great training practices I devised…"
"You did that well enough on your own."
"…he has turned the Art we practice into a laughing stock…"
"See my earlier comment."
"And now this horrible Jusenkyou curse!" Genma truly broke down then. Kasumi gave up mopping and just lay down a few towels to catch and direct the flow.
See as the obese man was indisposed for a time, the middle Tendo turned to Ranma for answers.
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Nerima is a quiet residential area nestled in a largely ignored part of Tokyo proper. The houses are larger here than elsewhere in the city, providing a level of space unheard of in most parts of Japan. The housewives dry their laundry outside on the lawn instead of on apartment balconies or windows. Automobile traffic is at a minimum; there are in fact, no cars for blocks. Mornings are peaceful affairs whereby the residents wake calmly and relaxed, often with plenty of time to greet the day before heading off to work or school.
Nothing ever lasts.
Even Nabiki was awoken by the sound of a man screaming. The man doing the screaming can be forgiven for his rude way of rousing his hosts, as he was flying through the air while screaming. All the Tendos made it to a window in time to see an enormously fat man in a white fighting gi land bodily in the koi pond.
"Why were you napping, you old fool!" roared Ranma from the guest room. He paused to dramatically cover his face with his arm. "Why! Oh, why did the heavens curse me so? Oh, the dishonor of having a worthless father!"
The sloth in the pond waved a three-clawed paw at its son.
The young Saotome chuckled his way down the stairs into the main room. The sight of a wet and bedraggled Genma sent him into all out laughter.
"Ranma," Kasumi lightly scolded. Ranma himself found that even he wasn't immune to an angry Kasumi. He stopped laughing but couldn't keep a few guffaws from coming forth.
After a while, the middle Tendo sister dragged herself downstairs. Nabiki shot the scruffy boy a dirty look. Ranma gave her a winning smile.
Soun cleared his throat. "With all the excitement last night, we forgot to bring up the topic of the engagement. Now son, I don't know if you've heard, but…"
"Honor arrangement with Genma?" the youth clarified. "Yeah, I know about it. Lazy bastard didn't tell me about it, but I still know."
Ignoring the panicked signs of his friend, Soun pressed on. "Well, you've already met my three daughters. Pick either Kasumi, Nabiki, or Akane and they'll be your fiancée."
"How about none of the above?"
Soun blinked. "No, I'm afraid that you have to choose."
"Damn, they ain't bagels, Tendo." Ranma stuck a pair of wooden chopsticks in his mouth and began to chew lightly. "And… you seem awfully anxious to get them married off."
"Heh, heh, don't be silly! I only want them to be happy." Soun was beginning to sweat now.
"And yet you're only too happy to marry them off to the first jerk who comes along. Could you pass the soy sauce, Kasumi-san?"
Soun went for broke. Full demonhead, screaming all the way. "It's a matter of family honor. Pick one you worthless lout!"
Ranma seemed to ponder that one. He hemmed and hawed for a while before arriving at a decision. "Screw honor. After all, that's what Genma said. I've been engaged—by honor arrangement, I might add—to three families that I know of. Who am I goin' to marry?"
The Tendo patriarch rounded on his old friend. Despite lack of sweat glands of any kind, Genma's sloth form began to perspire. Kasumi's brain decided that it couldn't handle this appropriately and shut down. As this wasn't terribly different from normal, no one noticed. Nabiki wondered if Ranma wanted to pursue a career in the legal field.
Akane reacted a bit more vocally.
"You jerk! You made my daddy cry!" And this was true, Soun was shedding more than a few tears. Akane also failed to remember that her father was in a perpetual sobbing state. Such unimportant details were ignored in the application of true Takahashi-style violence. To her credit, Akane acted maturely and with all the grace of the martial artist she was.
Table come up. Table come down.
Half a second later, Ranma was nursing a bruised forearm and the Tendos needed a new table.
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The Saotome and Tendo patriarchs stared intently at the shogi board. This perhaps could be expected. If there were actually shogi pieces on the board at this time.
"We have a problem, Saotome."
The larger man nodded. "My son is much more independent minded than I had hoped he would be. I know I have only myself to blame for it, however. If I had never thrown him in that pit of cats…"
"Pit of cats?"
"An obscure training procedure. But ever since the boy came from the Cat-Fist training, he's had a fire and a… an arrogance that we never had. He makes friends the way a tree makes leaves and refuses to take anything anyone says as gospel unless he tests it for himself first. Where did I go wrong?"
"Truly Saotome, you have raised an honorless ronin of a boy."
"If he heard you say that Tendo, he would take it as a compliment."
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