SongFic based on 'Crazier' By Taylor Swift.
Obviously i dont own the song or any of its lyrics and i dont own any of the characters or places etc. All credit to Tolkien and Taylor Swift!
This is SLASH. If you dont like it then dont read it and dont bother flaming. If you do like it then do read and if you're feeling generous review :) Its ages since i've written anything so its probably rather rusty, theres nothing much sexual, its fluffy with a little bit of sadness. Enjoy!
Legolas stood on the deck of the boat, savouring the perfect view of Rivendell. The great war was won almost five moons ago now, and the last ship was to sail to valinor momenterily, with him on it. He'd been to visit Sam and Rosie and their brood, thinking of them so happy made him smile, and Merry and Pippin, just as fun-loving, footloose and fancy free as always, their freedom and merriment were contagious when you were around them. Gimli and him had met frequently, the strong and most unusual bond between them had been widely accepted in Mirkwood, and appreciated. Gandalf and Frodo had spent most of their time in Rivendell, waiting to sail with Elrond and Bilbo, though not with Arwen.
She was now wed to Aragorn, and who could forget the wedding... Aragorn dressed in rich, kingly colours, draped in the most luxurious velvet, the finest woven cloth, Legolas remembered it, all the way down to the embroidered pattern around his collar which lay so softly on his ruggedly perfect skin...
Arwen. A beauty to behold, most men would never see anything more stunning in their lives. Nor could any other compete.
That bitter taste rose in his heart again, and he knew he was doing the right thing, he knew it was time to let it go.
I'd never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go to
You open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything
Legolas knew from the moment he saw Estel in Rivendell.
He'd spent a lot of time with him while he was growing up but had never felt anything like this for him before, the ungainly, cumbersome boy from childhood had turned to a strong, respectable man, his eyes now now held experience, knowledge and maturity in their grey depths. Never before had he felt the winds of love tugging at his heart, telling him to let his feelings flow, set them free... At the time Legolas had suppressed these feelings, for obvious reasons, but once the fellowship of the ring had formed he knew that this would change. It opened a door which allowed them to be together.
He flicked over the memories of their long and life-changing journey. Aragorn had stayed close to him in Moria to ease his discomfort, the lack of open air and nature was like suffocation for the elf. The closeness turned to lingering looks and touches that lasted just a bit longer than necessary. The prince knew from the start that Aragorn had felt the same. Then when Gandalf had passed, he'd needed more, he'd needed someone to help cushion the crushing blow.
His apparent death was devestating for the entire company and they'd taken refuge in Lothlorien, though nothing could console their bleeding hearts. Legolas sought refuge and isolation, his confusing thoughts now pushed out of the way for the more sinister sorrow for his old friend. It was the eve of their arrival Aragorn had found him, he'd walked over to the southern face of the woods to sit by one of the many sub-streams running through the forest, he remembered it like yesterday. The moonlight shone off the water, making it flow pearly and white, just as Aragorns tears. He'd sought the elven prince out and they had held each other for hours, nothing more, just listening to Gandalf's lament, Legolas remembered the other mans firm warm body pressed against his, his head rested perfectly in the crook in his shoulder, their arms entwined, he could have stayed that way forever. It felt...well, right. From that moment, Legolas knew he could let his feelings fly, slowly one by one, because Aragorn had given them wings.
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
And it appeared Aragorn had reciprocated. They spent nights both sat on watch, Aragorn's head rested on Legolas' chest, rising with every inhale and falling with every exhale. Aragorn sought Legolas' company, just as the elf sought his. In Rohan, stolen moments amongst the raising war, just a look or a touch was enough to lift Legolas, it was what got him through the dark times. Aragorn was there when Haldir passed, roles reversed, Legolas remembered how Aragorn had held him as he'd sobbed that morning. Even after that, there'd been moments, the night, before they'd walked the path of the undead, they'd spent it together, holding each other in the warmth, hearts beating in sync and Aragorn's sweet breath drifting over his bare chest.
But he also remembered how they parted. There was always that look in Aragorn's eyes after they met, the look that held regret, guilt, love and shame, all at the same time, and they both knew, it would never be. Nothing was said during the meetings, there didn't need to be, it just... was. And Legolas cherished those moments.. but they were like a sweet poison, beautiful at the time, but lethal afterwards.
I've watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes
And you made me believe
Once the journey was over, so was their relationship, Aragorn was crowned king, married Arwen, she fell pregnant, he made a life of his own... It made Legolas wonder if there was ever anything there?
Baby you showed me what living is for
I don't wanna hide anymore
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes
It had driven the elf crazy, so eventually he had ridden to Gondor on the pretence of visiting the married couple, declining all offers of accompaniment. Upon arrival he had hunted down the king, he'd had one thing and one thing only on his mind. When he finally found him in his office, he shut the door and sat in front of him. Aragorn didnt even ask questions, he didn't need to ask why Legolas was there. He remembered the look in Estel's eyes, the same look as when they used to part. Shame, guilt, love and regret swirled in grey pools.
"Why?" Legolas had said, holding the mans gaze. Aragorn broke it.
"It was a long time ago Legolas, things changed-"
"Feelings like that don't change!" Legolas felt tears prick his eyes, he blinked them away and carried on looking at the man, Aragorn slowly raised his gaze up and met his eyes.
"I've always loved you, you didnt know, but from the moment i set eyes on you as an adolescent, then I thought the quest would be the end and I never thought that middle earth would live on, it was my last chance to be with you. I never planned this far ahead, and the longer it went on, the more real it became, and the more i realised-".
"It could never be" Legolas finished.
"I never wanted to see you hurt, i am so sorry.."
Aragorn reached over and kissed Legolas, holding it for as long as possible, and it was that moment that Legolas accepted the truth. As much as he wanted, or needed it to happen, it wouldn't. And it was he, Legolas who'd broken the kiss, and without word, look nor touch, he'd left.
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier, crazier
He'd never be happy on this earth without Aragorn, which is why he couldn't stay. He watched the clouds sail past the last boat as they departed to Valinor. For Legolas to finally rest his aching heart.