A/N: I was bored and pondering. This is, as you may all well know, a very dangerous combination. Anyways, I was thinking, hey, I should write something! And I…did. It's something random with a clichéd storyline…if it even has a storyline. But it has Zelos and Kratos and Yuan in it, so it'll be fun! Maybe. Oh, well, we'll see. Oh, and I don't own Tales of Symphonia. Or anything in it.

--

Colette was freakishly excited about the upcoming Exsphere Quest.

"And we can name all the dogs!" she said excitedly.

"I'm pretty sure you named all the dogs in the world. Dad, I don't think we need five hundred lemon gels!" Lloyd said, staring at the overflowing bag Dirk had handed to him.

"You wanna be prepared, don't you?"

"Yeah, but lemon gels taste awful! Apple gels are way better."

Dirk glared with all the fury of an overprotective father. "Lemon gels are better for you."

"That's like saying I should take broccoli with me. Come on, Dad, I'm the one that'll probably have to be eating them!"

"Take the lemon gels!" Dirk barked.

"We're just gonna sell them in the next town we come to anyway!"

"IT'S A GIFT FROM YOUR FATHER NOW TAKE IT!"

"I DON'T NEED FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED!"

"IT'S ONLY FOUR HUNDRED! BESIDES, YOU DON'T HAVE A HEALER!"

"Miffy!" Colette said cheerily, causing both father and son to stare at her.

"What?" They spoke at the same time.

"This dog," she pointed, "Is named Miffy."

"He's already got a name," Lloyd said.

"Miffy?"

"No, Noishe. You should know that, Colette."

"Oh, right," she said, and giggled. Lloyd ran a hand through his hair. It was going to be a long trip.

"Are you sure you should take her along?" Dirk whispered. "She seems a bit mentally…off."

"So are all my friends. She's just more so. By…a lot. Besides, she's the only one not doing anything."

Dirk patted his arm. "I'm sorry."

Lloyd sighed and took the lemon gels. "Thanks for the lemon gels, dad. Maybe we'll finish them by the time we finish, however many years that may take. Come on, Colette, let's go."

"We'll name all the cats in the world!"

"Okay, Colette," Lloyd said, and walked out of his house—only to get knocked down by a flying (or rather, falling) angel.

"Tee hee hee!" Yuan giggled. "The world has many, many colors!"

"Get off me," Lloyd grumbled.

"Oh, Yuan, my love!" Kratos called. "I have brought you berries from Never-Never Land!"

"Another land with many, many colors," Yuan said wisely.

"Ooof," was all Lloyd could manage to say as the (other) teetering angel fell on top of him and Yuan. "Colette? Help?"

Colette was staring off into space.

"Colette!"

"Maybe I should name butterflies!" she said, running off to chase one. "Miffy! Here, Miffy! Here boy…or girl! Here, Miffy!"

"Butterflies are not dogs!" Lloyd screamed. "I'm getting crushed! I'm dying! HELP ME OUT HERE!"

"Llllllllllllllllloyd!" came the drunken cry. "I've mished you!"

"AHHHH!" Lloyd screamed as yet another body came crashing down on him. "S…so…much pain…"

"Here, Miffy!"

"GODDESS FUCKING DAMMIT, SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"I shall help you!" cried a certain redheaded ex-Chosen who had just fallen atop him. "Behold, my beautiful princess, as I rescue from the jaws of the dragon!"

"Okay, first? I'm not a princess! And second, it's not a dragon, it's two angels. Get them off me, okay?"

"Okay!" Zelos chirped, flinging both Kratos and Yuan off into the prickly bushes and hauling Lloyd up off the ground for a hug. "Bud! I've missed you!"

"Zelos, the point…of that exercise…was to…save me…" Lloyd gasped out.

"Miffyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Colette shrieked.

"Okay," Zelos said contentedly.

"You seemed pretty, uh, drunk a minute ago," Lloyd said cautiously.

"It's okay! I undrunked myself!"

"I don't think that's possible."

Zelos started laughing then, falling against our favorite red-clad hero as tears of mirth fell down his cheeks.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure you're not okay. Aren't you supposed to be doing Chosen-ish things or something?"

"They fired me!" Zelos managed through his laughter.

"Fired you?"

"They shaid—said—I was too drunk!"

Rubbing said redhead's back, Lloyd nodded and tried to contemplate this. "Okay. What are you doing here?"

"None of the ladies like me," Zelos sobbed suddenly.

"You are so drunk."

"I'm noooooooooooot!"

"You are," Lloyd disagreed, dragging the ex-Chosen in the house. "Come on."

"Oh, the birds," Yuan sang.

"I should probably bring them in, too," Lloyd mused as he tossed Zelos on the couch. "Seriously. Am I the only person that didn't get drunk?"

"I'm noooooooooooot drunk," Zelos mumbled.

"I didn't get drunk, Lloyd," Colette reminded him.

"You don't need to, Colette. Help me carry Kratos and Yuan, okay?"

"Okay!" she exclaimed, picking up each in one hand. "Now what?"

"Umm…take them inside…and stop making me lose confidence as a man."

"Okay!"

And she skipped into the house. Lloyd groaned. Why oh why did these things always have to happen to him?

"Urrgh…" Zelos groaned. "Bleeeeeeeeeeerch."

"Oh, Zelos! Not on the couch!" Looking at the rapidly spreading stain, Lloyd sighed yet again. Never, ever, ever, would he drink.

----

"Oh…shit, I have a hangover."

"You seemed pretty out of it," Lloyd said to his friend.

"Why am I here? I remember…" Zelos frowned, then admitted, "Well, nothing, really."

"That's probably not a good sign."

"Why am I…" Zelos suddenly looked horrified. "We didn't…did we?"

"If so," Lloyd solemnly, "I was too drunk to remember."

Zelos's look of horror increased tenfold.

"I'm kidding!"

"D…don't scare me like that!"

"Heheheh. But, no, really. Why are you here?"

Zelos had to think for that one. "I don't remember."

Lloyd sighed. "Oh boy."

"Lloyd, are we ready to go?" Colette asked.

"Uh, how's Dad and Yuan?"

"They're giggling and talking about unicorns named Daisy."

"That should be called Colette Syndrome," Zelos chimed in.

"Oh, shut up," Lloyd snapped.

"Don't talk so loud."

"Whatever. Their syndrome, by the way…it's called 'being drunk,' Zelos."

Zelos leaned back on the couch and rolled his eyes, showing quite plainly that he didn't care.

"Lloyd?" Colette said.

"Hmm?"

"Shouldn't we be going to get the Exspheres?"

"Oh…" Lloyd frowned. "I guess. I mean, they've been there for decades. I'm sure they won't just disappear, you know?"

"But there could be a sinister scheme being cooked up!"

"By who? The Desians have all been blown up. Mithos is dead. And the Renegades have an incompetent leader."

"Only usually," Zelos said.

Lloyd ignored that. "I figure we might as well wait until they wake up. Where are they?"

"In the bathtub," Colette said.

"We should probably move them somewhere more comf—"

"No, I mean they're in the bathtub. Taking a bath. Together. And giggling and talking about unicorns named Daisy."

"Oh," Lloyd managed.

"Yes," Colette said, nodding. "So, we can just g—"

"I REMEMBER WHAT I CAME HERE FOR!" Zelos burst out, then clutched his head. "Oh…ow."

"Then don't do stupid stuff," Lloyd said, half admonishing, half amused.

"Aw, come on, Bud," Zelos whined. "At the very least you could be interested in what I have to say!"

"Okay," Lloyd said resignedly. "Why did you come here?"

"Can I come?"

"Huh?"

"On the Exsphere quest. Pleeeeeeeease?" Zelos gave his best puppy dog impression.

"Miffy!" Colette said. She was ignored.

Lloyd scratched his head, genuinely surprised by the question. "Well, I…sure, why not? I mean…I just kind of expected you to be doing more…important things OOF! Zelos! Can't…breathe!"

Only tightening his grip on the younger, Zelos cheered, "Bud!"

"Going to be…such a long trip…" Lloyd gasped. "Let's…go."

"Where are you going?" the uber badass voice of Kratos said. Lloyd looked up, and his eyes began to bleed. Somehow, being wrapped in only a towel sort of…dispels the image of badassness. Even for Kratos.

"Yeah, Lloyd," Yuan chimed in, walking in not wearing anything. "Where are you going?"

"PUT ON A TOWEL! PLEASE!" Lloyd shielded his eyes. "DEAR GODDESS MARTEL!"

"There was only one towel, and because Kratos is so much bigger—"

"LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

After studying Yuan for a moment, Zelos said, "Not bad, but mine's better. See?"

"NO!" Lloyd screamed, grabbing the redhead's hands before the pants could be yanked down. "Zelos, please!"

Zelos snickered. "Can we go now?"

"Uh, sure. Colette?"

Colette was staring wide-eyed at Yuan's you-know-what.

"She seems kind of, um…" Lloyd waved a hand in front of her face. "I think you guys killed her."

"Yayyy!" Zelos said. Lloyd glared at him, and Zelos said quickly, "I mean…oops?"

Lloyd shook his head. "You're terrible."

"Really, it's not our fault. She should have seen one of these by now, honestly," Yuan huffed.

"Will you please put on a towel!"

"Okay," Yuan said, grabbing Kratos's towel. Lloyd screamed and ran in the opposite direction…which happened to be into a wall.

"Smooth. Real smooth."

"Shut up, Zelos."

"We're coming, Lloyd," Kratos said.

"I…what?" Lloyd stared very intently at the wall.

"On your quest. We're coming."

"With clothes, I hope."

A huff of amusement. "Yes, Lloyd."

"Don't leave without us!" Yuan said.

"JUST GET DRESSED!"

There was the sound of feet, finally fading away.

"Are they gone?" Lloyd asked Zelos.

"Yeah."

"That's a relief." Lloyd sighed and turned towards the center of the room. "Oh…yeah, Colette. We should do something about her."

"Coming right up!" Zelos said, splashing cold water over her face.

"MIFFY!" Colette wailed, sitting straight up. "Oh! Lloyd, I had a horrible dream!"

"Really," Lloyd said, trying to feign interest.

"I dreamed…I dreamed all the doggies died!" At this point, she grabbed onto Lloyd's shirt and started bawling.

Lloyd sighed.

It was going to be a really fucking long trip.

--

A/N: I kinda have nothing to say. Other than, uh, yeah. Kratos is here. NOT on DK. Because, you know, it's be rather hard to help his "darling" son on an Exsphere quest if he was on DK.

Wow…I have nothing else to say. Reviews do make me happy. Hint, hint…