A/N: And it's me again! The title of this story is pretty self-explanatory. Hey! That rhymed! Cool! So… ON TO THE STORY! (Don't you just love Caps-lock?)

Disclaimer: Can't forget this boring little tidbit, or else I'd be sued. Not that it would matter, because I only have annoying little siblings. Actually, on that note, I'll just leave the disclaimer out. I won't say that I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, which I don't. Go ahead, justice system! Do your worst! (Or your best, it doesn't really matter.)

Zell impatiently hopped from foot to foot as he tried to ignore the fiasco that was happening behind him. Nothing was going to stop him today. He was almost to the front of the line, and it looked like there were still a few hotdogs left.

"Hey, Zell! How close are we to the front?" Irvine asked from behind him.

"We're almost there, and if you took you took your eyes off of Selphie's breasts every once in a while, you would know that," Zell replied patiently, not taking his eyes off the front of the line.

"Ooh, harsh," Irvine replied as he hugged his girlfriend to him. "You know, maybe if you got a girl of your own, you wouldn't be so annoyed by this," he continued, indicating the two couples in line behind Zell.

"Shut up Irvine," Zell responded, turning around. "Maybe if you weren't a womanizing cowboy wannabe who flirted with every chick he laid his eyes on, I would have a girlfriend."

"Maybe if you got to them first, he wouldn't have to flirt with them," Rinoa said, taking her arms from around Squall's neck so she could look at Zell. Fed up with his friends, Zell turned around to face the front of the line again. He gawked when he realized that they were at the back of the line again. And he was so sure he was going to get a hotdog today. There was no way he was going to get one now.

Depressed, he went to their usual table to sit down, without food. Concerned, his friends followed him.

"You know," he said. "If you guys weren't always so lovey-dovey in the lunch line, we might actually get some hotdogs every once in a while."

"If you spent half as much time chasing girls as you do obsessing over those hotdogs, you'd have had a girlfriend last January," Squall said. In response, Zell picked up the nearest small object, (a fork), and chucked it at Squall, who dodged it easily.

"Face it Zell," Irvine said, sitting down next to his best friend. "You need a girlfriend."

"What makes you say that?" Zell asked sarcastically.

"To put it frankly, you're a loser." Zell fervently wished he had put that fork to better use. "I mean, you couldn't even get a girl's phone number, let alone a date."

"I can too!" Zell burst out.

"Prove it," came the simple reply. Quickly, Irvine scanned the cafeteria for potential hits. "That one," he said, picking out a target. Zell followed his friend's pointing finger to a blonde girl sitting with two of her friends across the lunchroom. Zell nodded and slowly walked over to her. "2000 gil says you don't get it!" Irvine called after him.

"Um… hi," he said awkwardly when he reached her table. "My name is um, Zell and I was um, kind of… Oh screw it! My friend has bet me 2000 gil that I can't get a girl's phone number. If you just give it to me, I'll give you half of it afterwards. Please?"

The girl stared at him for a while, then burst out laughing. Even more depressed than before, Zell walked back to his table, sat down, and put his head in his hands. "I'm so pathetic," he said. Irvine, however, could not respond, as he was too busy laughing. Selphie punched him on the arm.

"You're such a jerk, Irvine! You're best friend needs help, and all you can do is laugh at him!" Turning to Zell, she softened. "Don't worry Zell. Rinoa and I will help you get a girlfriend, and I'm sure Irvine will be happy to help too. Won't you, Irvine?"

Irvine turned pale at the cold look his girlfriend gave him. He then proceeded to do the only thing he could do at this point and nodded, terrified. Satisfied, Selphie turned to Squall.

"Will you help, too?" she asked him.

"Whatever," was all she got in response. Taking that to mean a yes, Selphie started bouncing on her toes, excited.

"Don't you worry Zell, we'll get you a girl! Just you wait and see! Meet us at the Quad at seven o'clock tomorrow morning, and we'll get started! See you then!" the perky girl said enthusiastically before running off.

Worried, Zell looked over at Irvine.

"Exactly how much coffee did you let her have this morning?"

End A/N: Yes! It rocked! I so totally put the phat in awesome! Yes, I know there's no phat in awesome. That's only because people haven't acknowledged that I put there yet. Curse you Webster's Dictionary People! Curse you and your dogmatic spelling/defining system! It's no longer 'awesome'; it's 'awephatsome'! (Author stops and realizes he is shouting at an empty sky.) Oh, feh! Go ahead, feel free to call me crazy. I don't mind. No, really, I don't. Watch, I'll show you I don't care. I'll call myself crazy. Hey! I'm crazy! I'm so crazy, that I'm actually krazy! Wait, that statement made no sense. How can misspelling the word crazy make something crazier? I'll think on that and get back to you. Later.