Disclaimer: All rights go to Stephanie Meyer. She had the idea of Twilight, I'm just making a twist off of it.

Bella POV

It's been 6 months since he left me. I still couldn't say his name. Not even think it. I couldn't bring myself to that sort of pain.

The only enjoyment that I got out of my days was being with Jacob, and for those brief moments, being with him. In my mind at least. I constantly was putting myself in danger, just for those few seconds. I was running out of dangerous things to do. But I couldn't give up. I needed the hallucinations. I needed them. They were my morphine for all of this. And the pain was too real. I needed the morphine.

Jacob had been really understanding. I knew he wanted more for me. And lately I've been feeling that someday I might be able to give him what he wanted. He was my sun. And he was making me happy. Well, almost. The point was that I was working on it. And that I was thinking about it. I knew it was a possibility.

I mean, I knew he wasn't going to come back. Why should I make myself suffer when he's gone. I'll always love him, of course. But I couldn't keep waiting for something that wasn't going to happen. It's not like he'd made me promise to wait for him to come back. Or to not be happy ever again. He'd just made me promise that I would be safe.

Well with Jacob I was always safe. Well, I was not in any deadly situations. I was in harmful situations, but not deadly. Jacob would never let anything happen to me. And I knew that.

It was sort of pathetic, sitting here in my bed thinking about all of this. I just wanted to go to sleep. I needed my rest if I was going to keep up with Jake tomorrow. The thought of him bringing me along on a camping trip was scary. He knew exactly what I would need he'd told me. He'd said that all I had to bring was myself. He told me that I'd like it and that I had nothing to worry about. It didn't make me feel any better about all of this.

Camping meant nature. Nature meant many things to trip over. And I'm sure I'd be able to find every single twig on the ground. It was going to be a long weekend. But I was going to be with Jake, so that should be refreshing. Shouldn't it?

I was doing it again. I needed to just stop thinking and get to sleep. I put on my headphones, and drifted off for the night. My dreams were rather silly. The dream had me in the forest, stumbling around. The tent was behind me, and Jake was asleep. I was trying to surprise him with breakfast. But that idea went away quickly when I had been unable to find the grill. It was still dark outside.

I woke up in the morning. I wasn't upset. But I was starting to get worried about this camping trip. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Oh well, too late to back out now.

Edward POV

6 months. 6 excrutiating months. Simply unbearable. It wouldn't be long until my will crumbled, and I went back to her. Bella. My Bella. If she would still want to be my Bella that is. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't take me back. But it wouldn't prevent me from doing everything I could to try.

I was sitting in the attic in a corner. I hadn't seen Alice or the rest of my family for 3 months. I had only gone out to hunt through the window. And I was always by myself. If I sensed any of my family coming from behind me, I darted back to my safe zone. I was safe from hearing their thoughts there. Well, almost. I was able to ignore them there at least.

I didn't want to hear about how much they were worried about me. They shouldn't be spending any time thinking about me. This unworthy hideous creature. They had more important things to worry about.

Like Alice for example. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't help but hear her thoughts. It was just second nature for her to be in my head. She was tied between worrying about me, and worrying about....her. I constantly saw glimpses of how Bella was doing. None of which helped to convince me that I shouldn't go back. They all showed how much pain she was in.

They showed how much I'd hurt her. And how much I wanted to be the one comforting her. But there was somebody else doing my job. Jacob Black. Lucky son of a gun. He finally got what he wanted. To be the one Bella would turn to. I couldn't imagine how high his hopes were for their friendship. He, no doubt, wanted it to be more.

All of a sudden there was a frantic knock on the door. "Edward?" Alice called. "Edward, it's Bella. It's urgent. Please let me come in." She thought. The second my mind heard the name Bella, I had crossed the room and opened the door. Alice walked in looking scared.

"Edward! Bella. Her future disappeared 5 minutes ago. I know you don't want to hear it, but I think she's in trouble. I know you don't want me to be watching out for her. But I can't help it." She said in one breath. Then the breathing turned to hyperventilating.

I brought her to my corner and sat her down. "Alice," my voice was hoarse, "what did you see exactly. Give me every detail."

"I saw Bella getting up this morning and getting dressed. She wasn't doing a very good job of picking out clothes I must say. Anyways, she went down into her kitchen and ate her breakfast. Then she went to the door. When she opened the door her future vanished. I don't know why, but I'm really worried. Oh Edward! She looked horrible. What if she is going to do something stupid? What if...?" She started to dry sob.

"Alice, why are you still sitting there?" I was at the door before she had finished. "We have to help her. She promised she wasn't going to do anything. But I wouldn't put it past her to try something."

Alice was at my side in a flash. "Great!" she exclaimed. "I'm already packed and we're ready to go. All we have to do is drive...OMG! we're going to go see Bella! Bella! Real, live, clumsy Bella!" she thought. I couldn't help but smile. And then that smile turned to a frown. Whatever Bella was doing wasn't good. And we needed to help her as soon as possible. I couldn't believe it either. I was going to see Bella. My Bella.