Disclaimer: I don't own these characters… CLAMP does.
A/N: This is a little in the future. Card captors are a little older then in the TV series, while Sailor Moon's characters are about the same age. All the characters, however, are in their Japanese names, such as Serena is Usagi and such… If you want a list of all the names from the english shows to the Japanese shows, then email me and I'll send you one.
Feel What?
*~ By Kawaii Girl ~*~
A hot tear eased down Sakura's cheek. A warm breeze encircled her, but she shivered.
Never had she ever felt this weak. Never. It was almost a struggle to breathe as she lay still on the hard cold concrete.
It was times like this when reality would slap her hard across her face. She had been throwing up again. The poison from her alcohol had strained her into doing so. Her knees were swollen and bruised from her hard fall towards the toilet.
There was blood trailing down her left arm about an inch above her elbow. She couldn't feel the pain. She couldn't even remember how it had gotten there in the first place. But she didn't care either. She wanted to bleed.
No she didn't want to bleed…
She wanted to die…
This is what it has come to for her. An endless cycle of drugs and alcohol. Parties and night clubs. Anything to get her mind off of him. She knew that when she was high… or drunk… it didn't hurt her so much to think of him. But once she would become sober again, the heartache would press down twice as hard. So she would do all that she could to keep away from that feeling for as long as possible. Sometimes resulting in waking up in some ally or garbage can not knowing where she was or how to get home…
And the Clow cards… She had them put away about a week after Sayoran and Meiling had disappeared. It wasn't the same without them. Plus she had captured all of the cards, so she had no need for them anyway. She just didn't care about them anymore. She didn't care about much anymore.
She grasped for her breath as she turned around on the floor to lay on her back. Her eyes shuttered open and she could see the ceiling. It was vague, but at least she knew that she was inside. She coughed twice as she could feel a migraine start to pound in her head.
She could hear a light bellow of music as the bathroom door would open and close. The girls that came in would look at her and walk by. Some would even laugh as they passed. Why didn't they help her? Couldn't they see that she was in pain?
She closed her eyes as another tear streamed down. Her stomach began to turn again. She raised her sleek dirty arm and took a hold of the toilet. With all her might she raised herself into a sitting position leaned against the bathroom stall.
She had lost everything. Her friends, her family… She ran away when she started smoking, when she turned 16. The only person that she would talk to was Tomoyo. But even that disappeared when she found out that Tomoyo had been telling Touya where she was and what she was doing. In an outrage, she decided to disconnect herself from everybody that she knew and start over again, in hopes of forgetting about Sayoran. For a while, she would sleep in dumpsters and fight dogs for rotting food. That was until she met her new friends. They took her in…. they changed her life…
Her stench of vomit and alcohol was nearly overwhelming as she looked at her arms. They were dark from filth and slim from being deprived of food. But she wore cheap rings and bracelets to try and brighten her appearance. The bracelets were nothing more then large rusted rings that wore loosely around her small wrists. She wore about four of them. One had light engravings of ivy strands across the thin metal. And an old tattered ring to grace each finger.
She also wore a small loose black tank top and some large baggy dark green pants. She had a small butterfly knife tied around her ankle for easy access just in case it was ever necessary. It was covered by the baggy pants. The knife was probably the most appealing object that she was carrying on her. It was long and curved, and the black handle was engraved with gold shadows of dragons.
Her stomach continued to turn as the memory of Sayoran drifted back into her head. Why did she still think about him?
Hell, she didn't even know where he was. He had left back to China about six years earlier, promising to return a couple days later. But after two years Sakura began to loose faith that he would never return. It was then when she realized her true obsession for him. She loved him. And he was gone.
She shot up and began to spit out blood and vomit at the thought of it. The memory of how she felt after a year of not seeing him. Of the memory of how she would stay up all night crying and praying that he would return to her. But it was all for nothing. Another year went on and still she hadn't heard from Sayoran or Meiling. That was when she turned to drugs.
And so her now new friends were heavily supplied with heroine and weed. They didn't mind slipping some to her once and a while for free. They liked the way she would act when she was buzzed. Every so often when they would give her some, she would act high and then sell it behind their back to get some money for real food, clothing, and medicine. But they kept on feeding it to her, laughing at her. Later they began to want more… and they introduced alcohol to her.
She fell in love with it. Every morning, afternoon and evening, she would take a drink. Then her intake doubled and tripled. She couldn't keep count of how much she would drink each day. Slowly the amount began to stop. Her friends began to move on and leave her behind, with her alcohol addiction. But they didn't care. They had lost interest in her. So again she was alone.
She slammed into the toilet and began to throw up again. After she felt as though she had been pumped clean of anything that was in her stomach, she fell back down onto the floor. Crying, she wanted to be somewhere warm, she wanted to get out of this place.
Her hair stuck to her face dripping in sweat. The bathroom door opened again and she tried to look up to see who it was. Her vision was going dim… although it seemed as everything was going white instead of black…
"Oh my god!! Sakura! Is that you?!"
She heard a voice and she tried to respond. But she was too weak. She just let out a small groan as she passed out.
~**~
Sakura woke up the next morning with a mild headache. Squinting, she opened her eyes. She was in someone else's bed but she didn't care, she was just grateful that she was warm.
With some effort, she pushed the large white blankets off her head. She could smell the scent of Downey or some other perfumed cleaners that was used to clean the blanket as she inhaled deeply. Rich sunlight hit her immediately and she swung the covers over her head again. "AHH!" she yelped as she felt as though her eyes were burning. She stalled for a moment to rub her eyes, then prepared herself for the light again. Slowly this time, she pulled the covers off again. Opening her eyes again she looked around.
She was in a large yellowish-white colored room, sunlight beaming through the grand windows and warming the area. The bed was placed in the center of the room up against the wall. There was a fireplace on the opposite side of the room, across from the bed. Above the fireplace hung a large picture of what looked like to be some kind of exotic flowers, painted in light brown and yellow shades. Next to the bed there were the large windows that reached up to the high ceiling. They were draped in long clear silk-like fabric that swayed smoothly in the gentle breeze from the slightly opened windows. A maple rocking chair sat next to the window with a basket of freshly picked white tulips that sweetly scented the room.
She turned and let her feet drop to the sides of the bed. With a little energy she jumped off. The soft carpet messaged her feet as she walked across the room, past a dignified maple dresser with a large mirror on top of it. Cherry blossoms were carved in the wood that surrounded the mirror. Across the room sat another large dresses with a full length mirror next to it, cherry blossoms were carved into it too. Glancing at the room again, she walked into the personal bathroom. The room was lit by the warm sunlight shining from the large mist-painted windows. She gazed at the new toothbrush and combs neatly set out on the pale pink marble counter.
She continued on into the large walk-in closet. It was filled with designer finery and shoes. That's when she noticed the clothing she was wearing. Somebody had changed her out of her out of her street attire and into soft light pink pajama pants and a white tank top with another light pink pajama top. She noticed that her jewelry and knife were missing as well. She walked out of the closet and back in front of the mirror. There was a small glass box with a white envelope placed in front of in sitting next to another white rose on the counter. Her name was written clearly across the front in silver ink. She picked it up and turned it around to open it…
"Good morning Sakura. Sleep well? You look better from last night… that is because you are wearing the new clothes that I chose out for you this morning"
Sakura jumped and turned around.
There in the doorway stood Meiling. Her long black hair still graced her slim appearance.
Sakura's heart skipped a beat. She just stood there, speechless and shacking. 'Is this real? Is that really her?' She kept repeating this over to herself.
"Are you ok?" Meiling said as she walked over and touched Sakura's shoulder. Sakura's heart skipped another beat. 'She touched me! This is real! She is here!'
Sakura began screaming. "OH MY GOD MEILING! IT'S YOU!! OH MY GOD IT'S REALLY YOU!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?! I'VE MISSED YOU, OH GOD I 'VE MISSED YOU!!!" she swung her arms around Meiling and hugged her almost to the point of suffocation. A tear streamed down her face as many lost emotions ran through her system again.
Meiling lightly laughed "That's great Sakura! Really it is, but you are going to lose me again if you don't let go"
Sakura let go and stepped back, wiping the tears from her face. She just stood there now, a million questions running through her head about where they have been and why they didn't tell her anything. But she couldn't find the words to say anything. She just stood there… She was looking at Meiling and smiling as she swayed a little. Her heart was jumping and she wanted to cry with joy but she contained herself…
"So Sakura… I am sorry that we never called…-"Meiling looked down began but was cut off by Sakura.
"Is Sayoran here with you?" She said so quickly that it took Meiling a second to respond.
"Hmm… Well he IS the reason that we moved back here. Well not exactly because of HIM… but because of YOU…"
She stopped for a second to look at Sakura, then continued again. "We have lived here for about two months now… you have been driving him crazy… He has been looking for you, but nobody knew what happened to you. He even contacted Toyomo in America… but she told him that she hadn't heard from you for about two years now."
She turned and looked at the counter "Sayoran almost lost hope… if it wasn't for me having to use the bathroom last night, and that dirty club was the only thing around open at two in the morning… you are lucky that Sayoran was so obsessed with finding you… I would have left you for dead…" Meiling said in a snotty revoke.
"But that's not the important thing anymore. Sayoran is most likely outside if you care so much. Oh and don't worry, I was the one who washed you up."
Sakura stopped breathing. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Meiling smiled and Sakura caught her breath again. She couldn't hold back anymore and started crying. Meiling hugged her and hushed her.
"What have you gone through? Something so bad that even Toyomo was very worried for you…" she whispered with remorse.
Sakura turned away "It really doesn't matter now. Now that it's over, I'd rather not talk about it… can we leave it at that?"
Meiling raised an eyebrow. "Sure…" she said quietly and turned to walk out. Sakura looked back at her. "Oh and Sakura, breakfast is on the table" She walked out.
Sakura sighed and walked in to the closet. She felt free and clean. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so good. She picked out a small yellow Hawaiian tank top and white shorts. After she took a quick shower, she brushed her teeth and got dressed.
Brushing her hair in front of the mirror, she looked up and just stared at herself for a moment. Her light cinnamon colored hair was longer now, and reached her mid-back and slightly curled. Bright golden highlights shimmered from the sunlight as she brushed it. She wanted to look her best for Sayoran. Butterflies began to flutter in her stomach as she thought of him. She smiled and pulled her hair up in her casual two ties.
Walking out of the bathroom, she made her way over towards the large open window. The long white silky drapes swayed and she could smell the fresh mourning air. They were along the coast of Japan. The soothing sound water from the ocean as it hit the sand was very relaxing to her.
She slipped on some white fur-trimmed slippers that sat neatly next to the bed and walked to the large white door on the other side of the room. Opening it, she was surprised by the elegance of the rest of the house. It was obvious that Li and Melin had made a very nice living.
White stained wood rails lined the balcony the looked over their living room. The sandy-colored walls stretched up high leaving a royal touch to the house. White soft carpet layered the floors and matched the color of the rails. She looked over the balcony to see a small maid vacuuming as a small boy played on the floor.
"What? A baby?" she said quietly to herself. Suddenly it came to her. Li and Melin have been living together for a while now… it makes sense that they would… that they would have…
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She could feel her heart began to sink again…
"Yes… a baby… my baby" a calm voice said from behind her. She turned, trying to conceal the tears that slowly began to swell in her eyes. To her surprise, Eriol was walking up the stairs. His black hair was still short and slightly spiked and he was fairly built. He wore a simple white shirt and a pair of beige pants. His bare feet were exposed. A sleek grin spread across her face.
"Your… baby… your and Toyomo's… baby?" she said slowly making sure that every word sunk in. Her questioning look began to take over.
Eriol's head slightly vaulted and he slipped a mocking laugh. "Ah Toyomo…" He looked down but the smile remained. Sakura took a step closer. "Toyomo… No it's not our baby" His head raised again and he looked up at Sakura. "But I had hoped that it could have been" His cheerful smile faded. He raised his arm up to his neck and smiled again. "No but I have moved on and I have no regrets" He stepped up the last three steps and on to the floor level with Sakura.
"Well enough about that… How have you been? I haven't seen you in what, five… six years?" he said casually as he walked past her and towards the white leather sofa. He looked back at her, signaling for her to join him. She followed him and sat on the sofa across from his. In between them was a medium sized glass Chinese table. On top was nicely displayed with Sayoran's Card Captors sword.
Sakura glanced at the sword. Memories of the past six treacherous years flashed through her mind. Abruptly she looked up and nodded, biting her lower lip. "Good" She nodded again "I've been good" her voice faded and she looked away.
Eriol wasn't satisfied with her answer. He knew her better. "You've missed him haven't you?" he said knowingly, looking at her.
"I don't know who you are talking about" she denied back at him.
"Oh don't be so coy Sakura, it's not like we're children. You know exactly whom I am talking about…" he said surpassingly dry. She looked up at him shocked. "And you want to know something… I think he has missed you too." He said as he turned his head, looking out the window.
She stood up and walked to the window. Outside sat Sayoran on a wooden bench reading a small book. She stared for a moment at him, smiling, and looked back at Eriol. He was gone. She looked outside again and watched Sayoran until she noticed Eriol step outside and walk over to him. He leaned down and said something to him, causing Sayoran to look up at the window and at Sakura.
Sayoran dropped his book as he stood up. Slowly at first, then gaining a little speed, he began to walk to the house without breaking eye contact with her. Once he was out of vision, Sakura turned around and waited, looking at the stairs. Another moment passed by and there he was.
Coming up the stairs…
Once he reached the top where Sakura was, he stood there… looking at her…
"…Sakura…" he said softly. Sayoran slowly began to walk towards her. When he reached her, he stopped and let a small moment of pure content flow through his system. His eyes began to swell.
"Oh Sayoran!" Sakura cried and she flew her arms around him. Sayoran instantly placed his arms around her. He picked her up and began to turn in a circle.
After a while he finally let go. Stepping back she looked at him. He still had his brown unruly hair. A feature about him that she adored so much. He had become very built, and very attractive.
Sakura pulled her loose chestnut colored strands behind her ear and looked up at him… up at his brown eyes. Eyes that she could get lost in its depth.
"Sakura… Where have you been? I've been looking for you. I've been looking everywhere." Sayoran said quietly as a tear crept down his face. He looked down at her new clothes and smiled. Those were the clothes that he and Meiling went and bought for her while Eriol was watching her.
"Sayoran… I've missed you…" She said as she leaned up and he softly kissed her. After a moment he pulled back and looked at her again. "Is that really you Sakura? Is this another dream?" he asked her. "I'm here Sayoran. I'll always be here" she whispered to him. He leaned down and kissed her again, then picked her up off of her feet and swinging her around. She laughed and held him tighter, praying that this was real.
Eriol had followed Sayoran and now saw the two laughing. "Good" he said to himself as he smiled, still watching them. He turned and walked back down the steps. Once he got to the bottom, he turned the corner and saw Meiling sitting on the black leather couch, reading another one of her magazines.
She was professionally dressed in a stylish black jacket and miniskirt. A white blouse could be seen under her jacket. Her long pale legs crossed while the small boy cooed at her feet.
He walked over to the boy and picked him up. He giggled and Meiling looked up.
"Hey" she said sweetly as she stood up. He gently patted the boy's back as she began to walk towards the kitchen, which was next to the living room.
"Going to work again?" he asked, still paying attention to the boy. Meiling sighed. "Do I really have a choice?" she walked over to the white pantry and opened it, taking out a small bottled water.
The kitchen was oversized with ceramic counters and floor. It had a stern look on it. White tulips were placed here and there to represent the woman living there.
"Yeah well, I better be going" She said picking up a small black briefcase. She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. "Be good Blake" she said to the small boy as she walked by, into the living room towards the door.
"I'll see you tonight" Eriol called after her. She looked back and smiled, opened the door, and walked out. Eriol put the boy down and walked to the window. He watched as Meiling sat in a black Porsche, and drove off.
He walked back over to the baby and picked him up. "Hey son!" he said playfully and he tickled him. With the boy giggling, he walked back over to the living room, and placed him on the floor next to the house-hold servant. She smiled at Eriol then continued to work. Eriol looked over to his son again, then walked through the kitchen and into the next room. "Ah! Breakfast!" he clapped his hands then sat down at the table filled with food.
The servant leaned over and picked up one of Blake's baby toys, then walked out of the room. Blake blinked then looked around. He was alone. He heard the servant start the vacuum in another room. He coughed then stood up.
With one swift wave of his arm, he briskly began to gleam a bright white, then dispatched and transfigured into a tall built man in a white suit and long white cape. He stepped over the little gate and looked back, letting short silver strands of hair fall over his eyes. Where he was once standing, he made an image of the boy there, still playing. He looked up towards the balcony where Sayoran and Sakura were and smiled. 'At last' he thought to himself and in a flash, he was gone.
~**~
"Nineteen… twenty…twenty-one…"
"Hey Rini, I thought that you said that you were going to jump on 15" Usagi called out.
"Well now it's 27! And stop talking to me! You'll make me lose count!" Rini yelled back.
Usagi laughed and sat back on the bench. Mamoru pulled her closer as he held her hand. "Leave her alone. She's just playing" he said cheerfully. She looked up to him and kissed his chin. "Yeah I know" she replied back.
"Ewww! Quit it! I'm trying to swing!" Rini said as she played on the swing-set. She giggled to herself.
"Oh that little-" Usagi began but was cut off. "Usako…" Mamoru said calmly and squeezed her hand. She sighed and laid back on the bench.
Rini laughed again and kicked her legs harder. "Ok! I'm ready!" she said as she prepared to jump off.
"We're watching Rini! Go for it!" Mamoru cheered. Rini kicked her legs once more, then let go of the swing's rusty chains and went flying into the air. "Yeeeaaa!!" she screamed as she landed in the soft playground sand. She stood up again and threw her hands high above her head. "Did you see that Mamo-chan?! Did you?! I went so high!!" she yelled in excitement.
"Yeah Rini! Good work!" he said to her. She giggled and ran off towards the slide. "You're so good to her" Usagi said softly as she squeezed his hand. He looked down at her and smiled. She smiled back then laid her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and looked back up to what Rini was doing.
She was climbing the stairs to a high slide. "It's really a nice day today isn't it?" he said to Usagi. "Yeah…" she said as if she were falling asleep. Darien laughed "Oh Usako…"
Rini climbed to the top then looked down over to Usagi and Mamoru. They were just holding each other on the park benches. She rolled her eyes then sat down. Smiling she pushed herself down the slide. "Yea!" she yelled as her glistening pink hair flew behind her. She landed gracefully and stood up again, hands waving high above her.
She giggled to herself deciding that she wouldn't bother Usagi this time. With a small burst of energy she began to run towards the monkey bars.
"Careful Rini" Usagi said lightly. "Ok" Rini hollered, looking at Usagi and waving one arm in the air. "Ah!" Rini screamed as she slid on some small pebbles and fell face first into the sand. "Ohhh…" She groaned as she touched her head.
"Rini!" Usagi yelled as she shot up off of the bench. "Rini are you ok?!" She called as she started to walk towards her.
"Yeah Usagi, I'm ok" She said sorely as she put her hands back on the sand to list herself up. "ugh…" she moaned again. Then she saw something shine for a second in the sand. "Huh?" she looked down and found a small silver ring half-way buried. "Oh wow…" she said quietly as she picked it up and dusted the sand off of it. The initials 'PD' were carved into it. There were two very small diamonds on the sides of the initials.
"Rini, are you sure that you're ok?" Mamo-chan asked.
"Yeah I'm fine!" She said again as she slipped the ring on. A sudden shock of energy quickly ran through her, and as briskly as it started, it ended.
Usagi felt it too. "Rini! What are you doing?!" she yelled. "Argh! Nothing! I'm fine! I'm not a baby!" Rini yelled back.
"Usako, what's wrong?" Mamoru asked, taking a hold of her hand.
"Didn't you feel that?" she asked him. She looked back up at Rini. She was running to the swing set again.
Mamoru look confused. "Usagi… feel what?" She looked down at him. " Usako, I think that you are just so used to… maybe you should relax a little. It's such a nice day out! And I didn't feel any sense of power" He said reassuringly.
Usagi looked at Rini again, then sat back down, letting him cradle her in his arms. "I'm sorry Mamo-chan… I just thought… nevermind… it was nothing" she said. Mamoru kissed her on the forehead. "Oh Usako" he said happily. "God, I love you"
She opened her eyes at Rini and watched her carefully. She knew she felt something. She knew something was wrong.
To be continued…
~ Well there you have it! One of my fics that I actually posted up. Yea! And not to worry, whether you liked it, hated it, or just don't give a damn about it… I definitely will be posting chapter two up soon. So tell me what you thought about it! I hope that you paid a little attention to the details… they'll explain themselves later.