War leaves its marks, y'know? It takes a lot of things and leaves behind just as much- nightmares and loss- a lot, lot, lot of loss- and bodies- too many bodies- and way too many tears from the eyes of the people who survived against the odds— survivor's guilt mixed with mourning and anger and a lot of other emotions, probably.
War leaves its marks, too many marks and too many scars on bodies and minds and earth and there are still holes in the ground from where the arrows landed and maybe the landscape will never really smooth over. And sometimes they stare at their blades a little bit too long, sometimes minds wander back, sometimes there are various yells from various cabins on various nights because things come back to haunt you most of the time and maybe that'll never really smooth over either.
And see, war leaves its marks and so do two wars and so does hell and so do jars if not used properly and so sometimes Nico just lies back and thinks about it all and sometimes he just doesn't want to talk. Doesn't talk, can't make himself talk- whatever. Whatever, whatever, he just can't do it, he opens his mouth and nothing comes out and maybe it'll be a while until something does, he opens his mouth and then closes it again because nothing will come out and he can't force anything to anyways because he thinks maybe he's allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, y'know?
Yeah.
And Jason- Jason, Jason, who he doesn't deserve- doesn't get mad at him ever, even when Nico rolls over and refuses to look at him and even when he falls silent for weeks and even when he stares at the wall that in that moment isn't a wall, he doesn't get mad. He'll wrap him up in his warm arms or bring him something to eat or make some coffee or put on a stupid tv show or tell him stories that he can fall asleep to or kiss his forehead because Jason always knows what to do, it seems. He's learned the little things, learned to talk to him without really speaking and the part that hits Nico like a slap to the face sometimes is the fact that it didn't take him very long— no one is supposed to know him like that- no one has since Bianca- and sometimes he can't believe it because it's too damn good to be true.
And Jason doesn't get mad, even when Nico knows he's scaring him, knows he's been lying in bed too long or hasn't really said anything in too long and he can see the fear in the son of the sky's eyes and something twists in the pit of his stomach when he realizes it's him that makes him fear— fear something.
But he still doesn't get mad- "Do what you need to do," he'll say in that too-soft tone, "And if that thing is being a little quiet for a while, it's fine, do it,"- and Nico thinks he's probably not allowed to be this selfish, but if Jason says it's okay then maybe it is. He's never known Jason to lie to someone he cares about before.
And so sometimes he's a little selfish and sometimes words don't come out and sometimes he stares at walls and always- always, always, so constant Nico doesn't know what to do- Jason is right there and he pulls words out of him he didn't know he had and maybe it's okay to be a little silent sometimes.
Yeah.
A little silent.