He asked me if I was over it – over Rory and me. What am I supposed to say to that? That, no I wasn't over her? That I loved her since the moment I set eyes on her? That would never fly. Luke would either tell me to let her go or to fight for her. I'm not really sure which response I'd get; I didn't want to find out. So I told him that I was long over her. It was not said with an ounce of conviction.
Life in Philly was life. It was neither good nor bad. It just was. Wake up, eat, work, eat, work, home, eat, tidy up the flat, shower, read, bed – and repeat. Believe me, just thinking about that life became the perfect sleep aid.
The wedding broke up the monotony. It seemed corny to have a pre-wedding on Valentine's Day, but who was I to judge? It was Luke and Lorelai's future. From what I remembered Lorelai liked to reenact cliché movie moments with gusto. Luke seemed happy to oblige. This Valentine's Day pre-wedding was them.
Traffic to Stars Hallow moved like a snail shuffling through sand. Head banging against the horn happened at one point. There wasn't even any snow. Maybe everyone was headed to some sort of Valentine's Day love fest?
As the sun settled behind the church spire, I reached Luke and Lorelai's home. The only one home was Paul Anka, the Jeep, and Rory's Prius. Leaving my car to visit and thankful that this town wasn't the size of Manhattan, I jogged towards Luke's Diner.
Towards being the operative word as arriving there didn't happen. Soft music and fairy lights lured me towards a fantastical unknown. A distressed barn door swung on its squeaky hinges. Someone, quite possibly Luke as his truck was parked on the curb, had followed the finger-signs instruction (Open Me). Hell, if it hadn't been opened, I would have turned the key and opened the door myself. That entry made me want to know what was beyond.
The lyrics to the song were clearer past the barrier. It was a familiar tune, but one I remember with bittersweet fondness. Liz and TJ danced their first dance as bride and groom to this song. Luke and Lorelai danced their own first dance that night. Even after all this time I wonder at the meaning behind the lyrics; they are murky poetic, but beautiful. Even after all this time I wished I could've waltzed to this song with Rory - our first dance.
Passed waves of blush-colored curtains, I'm led into another realm, another world. I swear I've never seen anything more spectacular in my life. It takes my breath away. Not in a figurative sense, but a literal.
Lights everywhere; it was nothing but lights. They wove through the trees and embraced the gazebo and draped over the massive table like grape-heavy vines. The heady sent of roses and lilies and who knows what other flowers disoriented me. Wandering through this wonderland, I marveled at the top hats and teapots hanging as if trees grew such finery instead of fruit. Whoever did this really outdid themselves.
The maze of lights and baubles dissipate as I step off the dreamlike path and gawk at the rolling cart of mysterious decanters filled with pastel liquids almost too pretty to drink. As the violin music swelled, Luke and Lorelai and Rory dance their first dance as a family.
They beam with happiness. But Rory glows with it. My eyes, I know, ought to be on the soon-to-be-married couple, but I can't take my eyes off her. She is bathed in rays of amber and violet and pink. Her grace is unprecedented. Her beauty is memorable.
I can't help it. I gasp. I gasp loud enough for everyone to pause mid-waltz. If possible a larger smile spreads over her face as she rushes over and takes my hands. No words are needed. I know. She knows.
Lead back to the dance floor I notice a slight difference in her shape. But I don't comment. She's not ready to tell anyone. I just dance with her. For a moment we're close, close enough for me to smell that intoxicating peach shampoo she always loved.
"It is what it is. You, me. Us," I whispered in her ear. For a moment, my hand hovers over her stomach. As we lock eyes. Hers teary with joy and relief and mine full of happiness, we nod and continue to dance with Luke and Lorelai. This is our first dance as a family and I wouldn't change a thing.