A couple of notes:
1) This stories going to have a really sad ending(maybe). I already have the story planed out and… well people aren't going to be too happy about it. I bet I get my first flame… x
2) This stories totally AU. I basically took the characters names, looks, and a few personality traits and warped them to fit this twisted spin on reality. But this is a FAN FIC so it shouldn't really be a problem. And if it is LEAVE!
3) I got this idea from a book called Go Ask Alice. But it's really not going to be that much like it. I just got the idea from reading it. (It's a great book. You should really read it sometime.) I took the title from another book A Great and Terrible Beauty by Arya Bryier, it just seemed to fit. It's nothing like that book either.
4) As I said in note 2 up there the characters are really out of character. The whole point of this story (besides to tell Wolf's tragic story that would probably be better left in my mind) is to work on my character make ups of Yuuri and Murata.
You'll see that Yuuri likes to ramble and gets distracted easily, but at the same time he's kind of cocky and has a mouth on him. I had to re-write this chapter a couple of times because he was becoming to much like my Wolfram (which if anybody read Running Away before I took it down knows that my Wolfram is a level head, tongue lashing, somewhat spite full, loving, fiery, a-bunch-of-other-things, spoiled brat). I also made him Otaku-ish, just to make him stand out more from my Wolfram. Also I'll refer to him as S.Y.H.F. at the beginning and in the epilogue (which will be in story form). All it stands for is Shibuya Yuuri, Harujuku Fuuri. I use it because I like the way it sounds…
Another thing, Yuuri's kind of bi-polar when it comes to dealing with Wolfram. One minute he wants to choke him out and the next he wants to hug him. I did this on purpose.
And I just have issues with Murata, but writing him is so much fun. He's definitely a perverted know-it-all in this story.
5) This is a TRAGIC tale of Wolfram so if you don't want to hear about him suffering in some of the most inhumane ways this world has to offer, then turn away and don't read this because Wolfram does get kidnapped, and raped, and -- and I'm going to stop there before I give away the whole story.
Disclaimer: I don't own KKM or A Great and Terrible Beauty or even Go Ask Alice.
Oh and everything below the title, below this blab, is part of the story… Even if it does look like an author's note.
A Great and Terrible Beauty
To the reader:
This story is based on actual events. This is the dairy of one of my student's portraying the tragic tell of another of my student's. This is the story that dives deep into his undying love for a boy who was losing himself to this cold world.
It offers no solutions. It's just the ramblings and story of a confused teenaged boy trying to find himself while helping the one he loved re-find himself.
Dr. Vivien L. Hampton
Names, dates, places and certain events have been changed in accordance with the wishes of those concerned.
The Editors
Love is never something that should be feared.
For Murata, where ever you are now.
I'm sorry…
For Conrad, Cheri-Sama, Gwendal, Günter
I wish I could explain…
S.Y.H.F
(the writer)
English 11 Writing Prompt
I have decided this year instead of giving you a giant end of the year test for your final I'm going to have you keep journals.
You are to write something, be it what you did that day, the lyrics to the song stuck in your head, or even poetry and short stories, at least twice a week every week.
Due Dates:
December 15th - they will be returned to you the following Monday.
May 14th – I'll either keep them or you can ask for them back.
Don't worry I won't be telling your parents or anybody anything you write down here unless its plans to hurt yourself or others.
(Note: This has been edited to go with the story.)
September
September 12
I really don't want to do this project. I'm not going to lie, I think it's stupid. Why should I tell some teacher I'm not going to see after all this all the things that happen in my life this year? I mean I'm sure even I'm going to end up doing something to get in trouble, or write down something that will get someone else in trouble.
But I do need the grade so I'll do it.
The first question:
Who lives in your house?
My mother, my father, my brother, me, and our Labrador Yuuram (I will tell the story of Yuuram later, its rather funny… in a weird twist way).
The second question:
Who are your friends?
Well, right now I really only have one friend, Murata. When I was little and we still lived in Japan I was also friends with Wolfram – oddly.
The third question:
Any other things I should know?
Well… I don't know. Maybe. It may not be of any relevance, but we speak Japanese in our house for the most part. Well my mom speaks Engrish. It can be a little confusing because she'll say something one way and then say it another, but I guess you get use to it.
Well anyway I'm a pretty boring person. I doubt that I'll have much to write.
You know, unless something amazing drops out of the sky.
September 13
I have nothing to write about so I present: Why we're in America; the tale of an over achieving older brother.
My father works for a large international company and they transferred him here (I think my mom had something to do with it) when I was about 12. At that time I didn't know why. I was just mad because I had to leave almost all of my friends. Murata and, at that time, Wolfram being the exceptions.
I now know why we're here in America. I just found out that Bob, the C.E.O. of the company that my father works for, wants Shouri, my older brother, to be his heir.
I'm only mildly shocked at this information for some reason.
September 14
Boring day at school. Ate lunch with Murata, like usual. Came home, did all my homework, watched TV, mom made curry for dinner, read manga, and started writing this. Now I'm off to watch anime on the computer.
Thank you god for blessing me with the ability to speak Japanese, it really comes in handy.
September 15
Yay! It's Friday! Besides it being the glorious sub-holiday that American's celebrate on a weekly basis, today sucked. Wolfram… AGAIN! Although you haven't heard all my Wolfram stories so you don't know why I say again. On that note I don't really want to go into it right now.
September 16
1:06 a.m.
I tried to think it through rationally, but it didn't work. Murata always says I'm always irrational to everything Wolfram related. (Something about how I have a warped sense of justice when it comes to Wolfram, and the way I always viewed Wolfram before our friendship broke never completely went away… or something. I don't know.) And he's probably right. We were friends for 12 years of our lives, but he changed when we all moved to America.
I want to know what the hell his problem is! What the hell did I ever do to him? Gah! He really pisses me off! Spoiled brat!
"She's flirting with you, Shibuya." Murata said quietly.
"You think everybody's flirting with everybody and sex will solve all our problems." I hiss as we made our way up to the counter. "She's not flirting with me. Besides, we just walked in here and all she said was hello."
Murata laughed in his good-natured way when the bell or the door chimed behind us. "If it isn't Mr. Sex-on-legs." I didn't even need to turn around to know that Murata's talking about Wolfram. He's called the brat that since he hit puberty.
The ice cream girl doesn't even get out "How may I help you?" before the tapping starts. I didn't even completely comprehend what she's said before a voice from behind us snaps "Some of us haven't got all day."
I tuned to gtowl at him when Murata grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back; gesturing, in a gentlemen sort of way, for Wolfram to in front of us. I glared at Murata hoping he'd explode.
No such luck.
"There's something wrong with him." Murata whispered in my ear, totally ignoring the death rays I was sending his way. He pushes me slightly trying to get me to look at Wolfram and so I do.
There's a dazed look in his eyes, dark circles underneath them, and the way he looked at the floor when people talked to him… It was so un-Wolfram like. The Wolfram I knew had a brash, in your face type of attitude. He always stood out, whether he was trying to or not. But this boy before me was like the walking dead. Yeah he still stood out, he's still Wolfram, but his personality, the way he talked, moved, stared. He could have been anyone of the hundreds of blonde haired, green eyed boys in this country. And that's what made me worry the most I guess.
Because this is Wolfram von Bielefeld we're talking about. Not every other blonde haired, green eyed boy, this was Wolfram and he was blending in, not setting trends.
I had subconsciously taken a step towards him as he stepped away from the counter, ice cream in hand, it smooshed between us. His eyes met mine briefly then he looked back at the floor, he opened his moth to say something, but I cut him off.
"Watch where you're going!" His eyes met mine as they darken and narrow. Then he dumps the remainder of his ice cream over my head. He called me a 'Stupid Wimp' in Japanese as he storms out.
Murata thinks that what said was uncalled for, but when did I start care what he thought?!
Okay I always have but I just hate hen he's right. I should have listen to what Wolfram was about to say, but of course I didn't. But he probably would have said the exact same thing I did. Murata also thinks that I'm over thinking this, but what does he know?!
Although, considering a lot of people who piss Wolfram off go missing, I think I got off pretty easy with an ice cream on the head. But the way that ice cream girl stared after him…
It makes me sick!
He pisses me off!
8:20 p.m.
Slept until 10. Started my homework, ate lunch finished my homework, watched a movie with mom, helped her with dinner said dinner, watched another movie with mom, dad watched it too. Now off to watch anime.
September 18
Monday… Nothing happened. Going to rot my brain on Negima! (Which I borrowed from Murata.) No homework tonight! Woo-Hoo!!
September 19
Mom says I should write more often. I'm not sure why she says that. I'm not even sure how she would even know how much I write or don't write. (She'd probably been reading this. I better find another hiding spot just incase.) I mean my life's pretty boring. I read manga, do my homework, watch TV and movies, play video games and on the computer, and go to school; just like 90% of the high school population. (And I know not everybody does all of those exact things, but they do at least one of them.)
Going to read some more Negima! before bed.
September 23
Spent today with Murata. Didn't really do anything. So since today was so lame I present: How I met Murata Ken (or Ken Murata); the tragic tale of an overbearing brother.
Growing up, and still, my brother was/is overly protective of me. (His brother complex is really annoying, even more so then my mothers obsession with Yaoi…) On the few occasions that I managed to slip away from Shouri I was forced to play alone. That's how I met Murata.
It was really kind of a fluke. I didn't mean for it to happen, I was fine playing alone. I'd never known anything different so it didn't really bother me. I really don't know how it happened, one minute I was alone and the next he was there. It was kind of magical because all I did was blink and he was there. We played in the sandbox for well over an hour before Shouri found us and ripped me away saying that I shouldn't talk to strangers. (Question: How can you make any friends if you don't talk to strangers? I swear this world is so backwards sometime.) Ever since then we've been good friends. Over 10 years now… Wow!
I have one word to describe Murata: PERVERT! He hits on everyone regardless of gender, (not that I've got a problem with gay people or even them hitting on me, I do, however, have a problem with Murata hitting on me.) His parents are… out there too. I don't know how to describe them really. First off they do love each other, but they only stay together because of Murata. They both have lovers, and both of their lovers are male. (And have been ever since I met them. This is probably why Murata is the way he is.) They both work for Bob's company.
I've probably let out to much into about Murata, but I guess I'll apologize to him about it later.
I doubt he'll care though.
I wonder if he's doing this assignment too… hmm…
Going to go watch Anime.
September 26
Got stuck with Wolfram for our science project. We got paired up yesterday really (although that all that got done with the constant fight about who was pair up with who, and of course every girl in the class wanted to be me, and I just wanted to work with Murata). Today we started talking about topics. I have to say working with Wolfram hasn't been as bad as I thought it'd be. He's actually been very even tempered, nice even, which surprised (if not freaked me out) me a little. He usually has no patience when it comes to me. None at all. It's only been 2 days though, but it takes me back to a time when he and I sue to be friends. We were both cute kids, but he grew up "hot" and I grew up "nerd". Things happened and we just grew apart… And that thing that happened…
Gee, don't I sound sappy?
Anyway we couldn't pick out our topic (mainly because we talked the whole hour about random things), we'll work on it some more Thursday. But talking to my brother did give me an idea. I'm sure he'll like it, and I have my own reasons for the topic as well.
I don't know how I know, but I know there's something wrong with him. He seems… off. I know he and I don't see eye-to-eye, but I hope he's okay.
September 27
Not much to say to say. Wolfram looked really tired today. I think I'm the only one who noticed (except Murata, but he notices everything). He really liked the topic and I even almost got a smile when I suggested it. We skipped lunch and did research.
I watched him closely as he worked on the computer. Something was definitely wrong. I don't know what it is. Maybe he is into drugs like people keep saying. I'm hopping that he's not and that it's just some sort of personal crisis. Maybe its both. I don't know but I'm kind of worried.
I put my cell phone number in his phone and told him he could text or call me anytime for whatever reason. He gave me a weird look, but nodded and slipped his phone away before the librarian could notice and take it away.
Murata jokes (I really hope) that it looked like the beginnings of courtship. (He stalked us to the library.) I really hope it didn't look like that! I was just really worried about him. I mean we use to be such good friends.
I don't know.
Ugh! Still haven't finished Negima!
September 28
Tired—didn't get much sleep last night. Kept thinking about Wolfram… and I'm worried because he wasn't at school today. Maybe I should text him, but I don't know what to say. I had to have Shouri help me with my homework, couldn't focus on it.
To Wolfram: Are you okay?
From Wolfram: I don't know…
September 29
Ended up staying home today. My mom called me in sick. Truth is that I didn't get any sleep last night. Since I don't miss much school my mom let me stay home. She and I went and picked up my homework, (I stayed in the car) and then went out for Chinese at lunch. At that point I still hadn't gotten any sleep. When we got home I still couldn't sleep so I started on my homework. I got through most of it pretty easily, except English. (You should really cut back on all that work!) Murata texted me once to tell me that Wolfram wasn't there again, another time to tell me all the new rumors surrounding his short disappearance (which took like 13 or 14 messages and all as crazy as the last), and about 60 more times to whine about various things. Wolfram texted me too.
From Wolfram: Yuuri?
To Wolfram: What is it?
From Wolfram:
The blank message startled me, but then my phone rang. It was Wolfram. He sounded panicky as he talked to me. He didn't tell me what was wrong. He avoided the subject like it was taboo.
I have a bad feeling and its making me sick to my stomach. I know that I've lost another nights sleep. I hope this isn't becoming a habit.
I don't want to be an insomniac.
September 30
Still haven't gotten any sleep. I've tried really hard. This is day 3. Mom says if I don't get any sleep tonight she's taking me to the ER. If I don't get any I'll probably start hallucinating tomorrow.
I try to push thoughts of Wolfram away because those are what are keeping me awake, but they always come right back. I feel tired I just can't sleep. Murata came by, but I don't remember much of what we did or talked about. Everything's starting to blur together now.
But Wolfram is clear.
He always has been a clear thought.
Murata says I'm in love with him and always have been. He says we argue and fight because we want each other, but don't want to admit it. I think Murata is delusional. I'm not in love with Wolfram! He's like a brother! So yes I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I'm worried because he's like my brother and he's obviously in some sort of trouble! I'd feel the same way if it were Shouri.
Maybe…
I think…
I want to give him a hug!
I want to give the world a hug!
I'm tired…
/SEPTEMBER/
Am I invisible?
Can he not see,
All of these things,
He keeps doing to me?
Am I afraid?
Or even really here?
All these things I keep doing to myself.
All these things I fear.
Am I to die?
Or will I live?
With all of these things,
That keep slipping from m head…
I can't seem to remember,
But I can still dream.
I have to remember,
Nothing is as it seems.
|End of September|
How was that for a first chapter? I know it was a little awkward, but I'll work on it. I wrote the poem myself and every poem you'll see at the end of every chapter unless other wise stated.
[Preview for October]
October 6
Friday, today – Wolfram skipped school and spent the day with me. We watched TV on the couch for a while, but there wasn't really anything on. So I picked out a movie and we watched it instead. There wasn't really much talking done in that time.
At some point in time I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed, Wolfram was sitting at the foot with his back against the wall, curled around his legs. He shook softly, I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew he was crying. I didn't get anytime to comfort or question him because of my drug induced sleepiness I fell tight back asleep.
I woke up and he was gone.
[Preview End]
Until next time! Buh-bye !
Aya |[HbP]|