Mrs. Frizzle's Chainsaw
Disclaimer: I don't own The Magic School Bus.
By salemmichi of Age of Aquarius Studios
xxXXxx
Arnold put his books in his backpack and got ready for school. He sighed. Why do I have to be in Mrs. Frizzle's class? he wondered. It was true that Mrs. Frizzle was really weird—not the mild, annoying kind of weird, the kind of weird that makes you want to lock that person up in an asylum.
He slung the backpack over his shoulder and opened the door. "Bye Mom," he said to his mother, who was watching the morning news. "Bye," she said back.
It was one of those days that seemed to be perfect; a transition between spring and summer. But it couldn't be a perfect day for Arnold, he was going to school. Every day his class did something insane. And every day Mrs. Frizzle wore some bizarre dress that looked like the fabric came from a roll of cloth meant for making three-year-old pajamas. He hoped today would be okay.
Unfortunately, it was the exact opposite. As Mrs. Frizzle came into the room, Arnold saw her holding a chainsaw. She was also wearing safety goggles and even a dress with little chainsaws on it. "Class, today we will learn four fun facts about how the world works," she said. Spreading her arms out, she exclaimed, "To the bus!"
Most of the kids leapt out of their seats and ran towards the door. Arnold, of course, got of his chair slowly. He muttered something under his breath and trudged out of the room.
Everyone piled into the bus. Mrs. Frizzle pressed a button and the vehicle transformed into an airplane. "Ready, class?" she asked.
"Yes!"
"Alright, here we go!" The plane took off (which was amazing considering how small the parking lot was) and once it was high enough, Mrs. Frizzle pressed another button and it transformed into a helicopter. "Now, class, watch closely." She pulled out her chainsaw. Arnold gulped.
"Fun fact number one," the teacher said as she pulled the chain to start the motor. "A motor is a device that creates a spinning motion. It is used in many tools, such as this chainsaw."
"Ooh…" said the kids. Arnold rolled his eyes.
"Now, class, the next fun fact requires some close contact with those balloons over there." She pointed at a distant cluster of hot-air balloons. "Here, use these jet packs!" Mrs. Frizzle handed out a bunch of jet packs and goggles. The class put them on. Then Mrs. Frizzle put hers on. She opened the door and jumped out. The jet pack let out some gases, and she levitated in place. "Come on!"
The majority of students jumped off immediately. A few hesitated, and then followed. Arnold looked down, and tripped. He fell off, but the jet pack caught him.
"This is insane," he said. His classmates hovered around him.
"Arnold, get a move on," said Wanda.
"Come on, Arnold," Carlos said.
Arnold sighed and flew after his teacher. "According to my research," said Dorothy Ann in her geeky little voice, "Places that are higher up have lower air pressure."
"Very good, Dorothy Ann," said Mrs. Frizzle. She was still holding the chainsaw. "Oh, we're almost there! Fly faster class!"
xxXXxx
Bob, Jill, and Mark were in a hot air balloon. "Cool! You can see the whole valley!" said Bob.
"I think I can see my house," said Jill.
"Man, this is so fun! I mean—wait, WHAT THE HECK?" Mark exclaimed, pointing at Mrs. Frizzle and her class.
"Fun fact number two," she said, "Hot air rises. That's what makes hot air balloons go up!"
"Awesome!" said some of the students.
"This never happened at my old school," Phoebe commented.
Arnold groaned. Mrs. Frizzle started her chainsaw. "Fun fact number three: Gravity is the force that makes objects go down. It keeps things on the planet. Without it, we'd be floating out in space." She looked around at the class. "I'll give you a demonstration."
Arnold stared in horror as the teacher cut through the balloon with the chainsaw. "Hey, lady, what are you doing!?" screamed Bob. But it was too late. The balloon plummeted hundreds of feet.
"Fun fact number four," said Mrs. Frizzle, "Maximum velocity is the fastest an object can fall. Differently shaped objects have different maximum velocity. Any questions?" Mrs. Frizzle asked. Arnold raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the teacher.
"Uh, Mrs. Frizzle, I think you killed those people.
Mrs. Frizzle was silent. Then, "Well, Arnold, many people sacrifice their lives for science. It just shows how precious learning can be!"
"But—"
"No buts, Arnold. Oh, next week we'll learn about the human body." She held up her chainsaw. "Arnold, you'll be my assistant!"
Arnold gulped.
xxXXxx
"Hey, have you seen Bob, Jill, and Mark?" Tom asked.
"Well, the left on a ballooning trip a few hours ago. They haven't come back yet," replied Charlie.
"That really makes one wonder," said Tom.
"Uh huh."
xxXXxx
Okay, don't blame me if I altered some of the characters' personalities. I haven't watched the show in years. I just thought that this might be fun to write.
Oh, and I might post another chapter, but I think this should be a one-shot. If people want another, then okay, I'll post one.
--salemmichi