Sebastian looked around the empty apartment, his home for 3 years, now it was just a sad reminder of the past. He probably should have left sooner, Kurt had been gone over a year now, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. But as the traces of Kurt faded Sebastian knew it was time to move on.
Sebastian retraced the steps of that night, the horrible night when it all ended. He had stood in the middle of the room as Kurt yelled at him. His hair usually so perfect, not a hair out of place, was now a mess from running his hands through it in frustration. His beautiful blue eyes, or were they more green that night? Kurt's eyes were special but now Sebastian couldn't remember how they looked, only that they were filled with tears. He flinched at the memory; he always hated seeing Kurt cry.
The fighting was nothing new but that time had been different. Even then Sebastian knew they wouldn't be ok. No going out for a few hours to cool off. No returning home to kisses and 'I'm sorry's'. No promises that it would be different. It was the night that changed everything but now Sebastian couldn't even remember what the fight was about. Probably a culmination of things. The +40 hour work weeks. The late nights spent at the club, often alone. The apartment in constant disarray. Both were guilty yet blamed each other for their problems. It was a never ending cycle.
"I'm sorry you hate me" Sebastian had muttered finally speaking up. Kurt snapped his head up, looking at him as if he was crazy "God, Sebastian I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He sighed "But what we're doing is not working. I thought if we moved in together we could help each other, make each other better." Kurt went up to Sebastian taking his face in his hands, kissing him softly "I thought I could save you" he said in a low voice, letting out a sad laugh "pretty stupid huh?"
Sebastian pressed his forehead to Kurt's "I love you so much Kurt" he kissed him "I don't know what you were looking for in me, but I don't think you're going to find it" Sebastian gave him a final kiss and hug, stepping back, he opened up his arms "because this is it."
Kurt hung his head low "I know. I've always known and for awhile it was enough. For a time we could make it work, but that time is over now." He walked into the bedroom and packed a bag "I can stay at Rachel's; I'll get the rest of my stuff this weekend."
"Kurt…you don't have to do that. I'll leave" Sebastian offered.
"No, you found this place, you stay" Kurt was at the door, he took one last look at him "Goodbye Sebastian."
Sebastian stared at the door. That was the last time he saw Kurt. He made sure to be gone when he came over to get his stuff, he was afraid if he was there they would fall back into things. As much as he loved him he couldn't let that happen.
He knew that Kurt was in LA now, he was shocked that Kurt would voluntarily leave New York, but like himself Kurt probably thought the distance would help.
He looked around the apartment. So much history. So many good times. Even though it's been a year there's still so much Sebastian doesn't understand. How things got so bad that night. Why was that night different from any other? He thought about calling Kurt once, when the uncertainty of it all became too much. But there was nothing left to say.
Sebastian took one final look at the apartment. Sounds of the past filling his thoughts. A mixture of laughter and tears. Of 'I love you' and 'I don't hate you'. He took a deep breath "Goodbye Kurt" he said as he closed the door.