Chapter 1: Departure

Peter sat outside the cafeteria as the other kids laughed and enjoyed each others' company. He was waiting for his best friend Emma. It was almost sun down and as he waited for the buses to arrive, he started to feed pieces of his sandwich to some birds. He was eighteen and of Latino (Puerto Rican) descent. He wasn't exactly Spanish in that he didn't know how to fully speak the language, he was more American than anything else. His dark brown eyes either welcomed you or cursed you, depending on who you were.

Running a hand through his dark brown gel-spiked hair, he slumped further down the brick wall behind him. He always felt that life was the same repetitive shit everyday. That's why he decided to go on this field trip. The trip was to a teen night club called The Shadows and although it sounded cheesy, something about it just made Peter cringe.

He had never been to a club before but somehow, the thought of being surrounded by hordes of people made him feel a little too claustrophobic. Life for him was pretty much expendable, he could do without it. He lived with highly religious parents, so they were strict on him. Often times, they'd call him ungrateful due to his constant disregard for his own life.

"Hey Pete!" Emma said as she came up and sat down next to him. The two hugged each other and began to talk. Emma was eighteen and of African heritage. Unlike Peter, she was fluent in her native language. She had beautiful dark skin like chocolate and although she was tomboyish, many guys found her really attractive.

"I was starting to wonder if you were still coming or not." Peter uttered.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss a field trip like this for the world! And since I KNOW you can't wait to go with me,"

"A.K.A. "since I know you have no life..." he interjected. Emma frowned before replying. "I never said that."

"You didn't have to." Said her friend as he looked away from her.

Acting on her impulse, Emma shook her head and spoke up. "Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there." Peter remained silent after hearing her speak. He knew what she was going to say, as they had focused on this exact subject many times before.

"Believe it or not, people DO care about you."

Peter felt repulsed in the sense that he knew she was speaking the truth. It just wasn't true for all the people who he felt really mattered to him. "People like who? Like my parents? Hell, when I was in the hospital, they didn't even visit me."

Putting her hand on his shoulder, Emma replied, "And I'm sorry that they did that to you. But the first time, they did visit you."

"True, but I was only in there for a week and they were doing it to maintain their 'holier-than-thou' reputation."

"You didn't need to be there, you needed someone to talk to you." Emma said.

"Hey, that's why I have you right?"

Emma smiled at her friend's comment, "Well true, but one day, you might not have me to lean on." Peter looked up into the sky, "I'd never let anything happen to you."

"I know!" said Emma with a cute smile while posing. Some students came over by the two. Emma clenched her fist. "Uck, it's Adam. I swear if he tells me that I look like Beyonce ONE more fuckin' time... And it's only because of this fuckin' weave I got in my hair."

Sure enough, Adam walked up to her, "Yo Beyonce! 'You got me lookin' so crazy right now!' Ha ha ha!" Emma rolled her eyes, refusing to give him the time of day. "Adam go away."

Adam frowned mockingly. "Ouch! Why don't you just 'make me lose my breath'? Ha ha!" Peter didn't like Adam any more than Emma did. He was annoying, stupid, and overall, he lived to antagonize others. "If you don't shut the fuck up and leave, I'M gonna make you lose your breath." Peter said as his face reddened with anger.

Adam looked to his friends, "Oh that's right. What are you gonna do? Try to tie a rope around my neck? Isn't that your job?" Peter became embarrassed and ashamed, looking away speechless.

"Shut UP Adam!" Emma yelled as she jumped to her feet in a nanosecond. Suddenly another student walked into the area. "Adam, why don't you just leave him alone? Besides, it's about time for your daily Christie-stalking, isn't it?"

"OOOOOOOHHHHH!!!" Adam's friends yelled and laughed in shock that someone had called him out like that.

Obviously, Adam was embarrassed as hell. "Whatever Ethan. At least I know what pussy is." he said. Ethan looked him dead in the eye and replied, "I'm looking at one right now." Adam's friends burst into laughter before telling him to leave before he 'got dissed even harder'. They left, probably to find somebody else to pick on.

After they were gone, Ethan shook his head and turned back to his friends. "You alright Pete?" he asked in concern. Peter looked up, giving a thankful smile. "Yeah, thanks Ethan."

"'Sup Big E?" Emma said.

"Hey Beyonce." Ethan replied. Emma glared at him. Ethan suppressed his smile for but a few seconds before giving in. "Just kidding! Geez, can't you take a joke? Ha ha ha."

Ethan was the friendliest guy that Peter knew. He had known Ethan for a few years, even before his parents were killed in a car accident back in junior high. He viewed him as his best guy-friend without a doubt. He was tall, coming in at about six feet. He had short blonde hair and welcoming blue eyes, his slightly tan skin helping to bring out their color. He was the kind of guy that half the girls in school only dreamed of being with.

"So...this club is fun?" Peter asked as he could feel his uneasiness kick back in.

"Hellz yeah!" exclaimed Emma as she started remembering her fun times there. Ethan, who had also been there a few times, agreed, replying with a simple yet assuring, "You bet!"

The dark haired Latino laughed to himself. "I still find it funny that our psychology class is going to a teen night club."

"Well, like Mr. Finn said, "The key to understanding teenage behavior is to observe it in a natural setting." said Emma as she imitated the voice of their instructor.

Ethan laughed before replying, "Yeah, whatever that means. So where's Erica and Kim?"

Peter threw the last piece of his sandwich to the nearby birds before answering his friend's question. "Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys. Erica called me earlier and told me that she has to work an extra shift tonight, so she can't go."

"And Kim is still in Florida visiting her grandmother." said Emma as she sat back down next to her best friend.

Ethan looked disappointed. "Damn that sucks. Well, I guess we'll just have to live it up for them!" The trio of friends laughed and continued to talk. Two minutes later, the buses arrived. Emma was the first to notice them.

"There goes our ride. You guys ready?" she said as she stood back on her feet.

"Let's do this!" said Ethan in a voice of nothing but the purest excitement. Peter stood up with his friend's help before sarcastically saying, "Well, if I'm gonna go, I might as well have the time of my life."

Emma punched his arm playfully. "Definitely! Man, it's about time you started living."

Ethan agreed. "Yeah buddy, what she said. By the way, how did you get your parents to let you go?"

"They think I'm hanging out with 'M at the mall."

Emma smiled before thinking of a joke, "Well technically, you're not lying completely. You are hanging out with me, just not at the mall."

They laughed and turned towards the buses. Meanwhile, another group of students approached the same bus that Emma, Peter, and Ethan were getting on. One was a beautiful girl named Lois. She was actually the object of Peter's 'secret' affection. She was Korean with jet black hair, some blood red streaks mixed in at the bottom. She was your typical goth/punk chick, with a vocabulary that could be as vulgar as the worst of sailors. She was talking with her friend Tobias, another goth kid at the school. He was more known as the senior class emo than anything else. He had pale skin and was of average height and he looked kinda like the lead singer from Green Day. Despite being different from each other, Lois and Tobias were pretty good at holding up a witty conversation, seeing as how they were both highly sarcastic. Lois was actually also one of Emma's best friends. Oddly enough, she couldn't stand Peter one bit. Just as she was about to get on the bus, Lois turned and saw Emma. She called to her and waved but upon seeing Peter, she turned her open palm into a middle finger. Peter shook his head and looked away.

"Do we have to get on the same bus as that bitch?" he said in frustration.

"Hey, that 'bitch' just happens to be my friend too." replied Emma. Ethan laughed at the situation. He leaned in close towards Peter's ear and said, "Not to mention, we know how you feel about her." Peter punched Ethan's chest with his mouth open in shock.

"Shut up man, you want the whole class to know?" he said in a voice that could've passed for either being pissed off, or really nervous. Emma laughed at her friend's innocence. "Everybody already does know. That's probably why she hates you so much."

Peter clicked his tongue in disgust. "Whatever, she can be like that then. I don't give a damn."

They got on the bus and looked for someplace to sit together. The seats were empty towards the back of the bus. Everybody was sitting in the front so that they can be the first ones off the bus and therefore, the first ones in the club. They moved to the back and sat down. Ethan sat next to Drew while Peter and Emma sat together. The two of them started talking about Lois again, so Ethan turned around to speak to Drew. Drew never really spoke to many people, yet he was kind of popular. He had short brown hair and usually dressed in jeans and button down shirts. He was tanned and liked to go to the beach a lot. Once Ethan turned around, he started talking to him.

"Hey Drew, what's happening? You excited?"

"Ah well kind of. I guess it'd be fun. Cassandra convinced me to go."

Ethan looked around for the girl. "Cassandra the French foreign exchange student?"

"Yeah, she's cool. She's up in the front with Frederick. Those two got some chemistry." replied Drew.

"Yeah when Fred isn't talking about some new show he plans to be on." They both laughed at Ethan's comment.

"So Ethan, when the summer comes around, you gonna go back to the Swim Team?"

"Definitely. What about you?"

"Nah. I had enough of it. I think I'll just lay low for awhile." Drew replied while leaning against the window.

Ethan nodded. "We'll be missin' you bro."

Drew chuckled to himself. "You guys will live." They continued speaking as Emma stared at Peter blankly.

A few seconds went by before Peter felt prompted to break Emma's silence. "Okay c'mon. Was it THAT bad of a joke?"

"Yeeeeeaaaahhh. It most definitely was." Her eyes widened as she tried to emphasize her thoughts.

"Okay, I'll try to spice them up a bit next time." They sat still once they saw Mr. Finn get on the bus. After doing the routine attendance check, he started speaking.

"Alright you guys listen up. We're leaving now so I want to let you all know that you are STILL expected to be on your best behavior."

The bus filled with random 'yes sir!'s and laughter. "Oh yeah and don't even bother trying to get anything 'strong' from the bar. It's for teens only remember? No alcohol is served there."

"What? How am I gonna get down without any beer?" shouted a student towards the middle of the bus.

Mr. Finn huffed while shaking his head. "Well sorry to disappoint you son, but the closest thing you're getting to that is root beer." Everybody snickered. Ethan turned to Emma and Peter, yelling "OWNED!"

"SERVED!" replied Peter as the two of them exchanged glances. They smiled and started to talk as the buses pulled out of the parking lot. A few minutes later, Peter leaned his head against the window and started to watch the scenery pass him by. He could hear everybody talking and making jokes. Slowly, his eyes started to shut and the sounds of his classmates dulled out. Soon, he was dreaming. He saw himself sitting in a hospital bed, staring outside of a barred window. He looked down and saw that he had bandages wrapped around his wrists. He suddenly remembered why he was here. He had tried to kill himself for the second time. His neck was still aching a bit from the rope that he tried to hang himself with. To be honest, he couldn't even remember the whole incident, only parts of it. When he looked back up, he watched as the kids from the children's ward ran around the courtyard. It was funny, but he realized that even though they had problems, they still appeared happy and innocent. Even if it was only for that moment out there in the courtyard...they had genuine smiles on their faces.

Peter reached forward and touched the glass window, wishing that he could return to that happiness. As he watched them, he began to almost see blurs of his childhood, when he was just as happy as they were. He closed his eyes and let his mind take him back. He let his mind take him back to the time when his mother was proud of his life, when she would take him to the park and push him on the swing. Just then, he could hear his childish laughter echo through his mind.

"Carefree..." he whispered. His eyes began to water as he remembered his happiness, and how it was now long gone. A hang grabbed his shoulder and tugged him. Peter sat up abruptly, opening his eyes to see Emma and Ethan glaring at him. That's when he became conscious of the fact that he had fallen asleep, and he felt pretty embarrassed.

"Dude, your snoring was louder than the bus." said Ethan as he laughed to himself. Emma nodded and put her back against her seat again. "Yeah man, I've been trying to wake you up for the past three minutes." she said in a tone of disbelief.

"Wow, um...sorry guys."

Drew suddenly broke the silence. "Well anyways, we're here. Let's go!"

Everybody started to scatter off the bus. Drew ran off to find Cassandra while Emma told Ethan to go on ahead. She stayed behind to make sure Peter was fully awake. After a few seconds, the two got off the bus and took one of the numbered tickets that Mr. Finn was giving out to keep track of attendance. These tickets were also telling them the order in which they would be entering the club. It was more of a 'first come, first served' kind of thing. Peter and Emma got in line and started talking about what songs they hoped would be playing. As they talked, Peter looked up the line and saw Drew hanging with Cassandra and Frederick in the front. Emma made a comment saying how shocked she was that they sat together and somehow he was at the front of the line. Their friend Joe, who was the school's leading football star was a little after Drew and the gang. Behind him was Lois and Tobias with Ethan behind them talking to some of his other friends.

Emma started dancing to the bass that echoed outside the club. "We are gonna rock this piece. And you better be dancing, not holding up the wall."

Peter laughed before referring to his friend by her nickname, "I'll try 'M. I'll try."

"Shoot, cuz I don't play that shit. And you KNOW I don't. You know for damn sure that I'ma come over and force you into the middle of the dance floor!" she replied.

Peter let out a nervous laugh, "No don't do that, haha, I'll dance with you. As long as you can keep up, that is." he said in a taunting manner.

"Ha! We'll see about that Petey boy."

As they talked, they realized that it was their turn to go inside the club. Emma handed the attendant her ticket and stepped forward, waiting for her friend. Peter handed in his ticket and suddenly noticed an uneasy feeling coming over him. He got really cold for no reason. He looked up to see if any vent was above him, but there wasn't. He stood motionless for a few more seconds before he realized that everybody was yelling for him to go in. He snapped out of it and saw Emma holding the door open for him. He apologized to the people behind him and walked in with Emma. Once inside, the sound of blaring music overwhelmed his ears. Emma leaned over and spoke to him.

"You gotta get with the program dude, so what do you want to do?"

Not really wanting to dance just yet, Peter made a different suggestion. "Well, you wanna go find everyone else?"

"Yeah sure, but we are so dancing afterwards, so long as I am black."

Peter laughed at his friend's statement. "Wow 'M, you're crazy."

"Nah not crazy, just excited. Let's go!"

She started pulling him through the club. She held onto his hand and guided him around so they wouldn't get separated. Even though everybody looked like they were starting to have fun, Peter still had this odd feeling that something was a little off.