My Only Hope
Kay S.
I Think It's Fate
Brown eyes.
She had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen.
Then again, everything about her was beautiful.
Three years ago, when we first met, there was something about her - something I couldn't describe, something I didn't want to admit to myself. She was just a med student, like every other one.
But she wasn't.
My mild interest developed quickly into a crush, which then developed into something much more worrying.
Love.
It became so strong that I wanted to see her all the time, and know every secret.
Luckily for me, that happened, and we became friends. Well, best friends.
Through the pain and horror we both saw everyday, along with the happiness and joy, at the end of the day, through it all, all I see is her.
Abby Lockhart.
Though I'd much rather she'd have a different second name.
Last year, I finally made my move. After two years.
The ER was flooded with patients, it was boiling hot, and, to top it all, every patient, doctor, nurse, orderly - all were at risk of suspected smallpox. She stayed by my side, despite the terrifying fact that any one of us could ultimately have died.
But being the "super nurse" she is, she stayed with me.
And the five of us, Abby, Deb, Pratt, me, and Stan "The Can" were quarantined for two weeks in the ER that I usually can't wait to be out of. But this time, it was different. I didn't want to leave.
In there, we seemed cut off from the rest of the world - no-one to hurt us, or break us apart. Something I wanted with all my heart, for 2 years, happened - our first time. Sounds completely soppy, but it was magical.
I cherish her, all those times we went for 'coffee and pie' when the other had a bad shift, everyday I wanted to be with her, no matter how hard I tried to avoid my feelings.
Now, here we are, in the hospital lounge, and her beautiful eyes are glancing at me, as she grabs my hand, almost instinctively.
"Carter?" She smiled, "are you ok? You looked miles away!" She looked concerned, but I smiled reassure her.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine.just, uh.thinking about stuff.but I better get back to work before Weaver comes with a chainsaw." I stood up and drank the last of my coffee. We were both working the night shift. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up with me.
"No rest for the weary, huh?"She said, wrapping her arms around my neck, and groaning. "I have to work pretty much all night!"
"Well, nothing is too hard for you Abby!" I pulled her closer to me. "After all, you are the super nurse right?" I said, smiling.
"Ha! Right, of course." She smiled that famous smile. I leaned in and kissed her. Then I left the room, heading back into the ER vortex.
In My Eyes.
I laughed to myself.
'Super nurse', Carter loved to call me that.
I may not say it a lot, but I love him. Ever since we met, he was the only one that could really get through to me. He is also the only one that really helped me with my family.
I remember, not so long ago, how sad and pessimistic I was. Luckily now, I'm cheering up considerably.
We've been through so much together, and.we've had our problems, but really, who doesn't?
"Abby!" Susan's voice broke through my thoughts. But it was all right; she was my best friend, after all.
"Oh, hey Susan! Sorry!" I snapped out of my trance.
"Sorry! We just need you out here! A car hit a guy, he has multiple injuries and may need amputation!"
Chaos was reining and Luka was working on him.
"Abby! Check his oxypulse! And get some morphine, this guys gonna need it!" I ran around helping out. It's times like these when the world spins. Being a nurse was something I always wanted to do, though it can be painful at times, but this is where I help people, not to mention, where I met Carter. I don't think I would ever leave.
"Ok pre-op is ready!" I told Luka, getting off the page to Elizabeth.
"Good! Take him up!" Luka ordered. They took the poor guy upstairs. When he wakes up, he wont have a leg.
Susan walked up to me.
"Are you ok? You look tired!" She was always concerned about me. Especially since the time my brother disappeared.
"Yeah, I'm completely exhausted! But hey, when does that ever change?"
"Well, soon we have to have another girls night out, so sleep up!" She smiled at me.
"Oh you know I will!" I said as Carter walked up to us.
"What a night!" he said. "I think as crazy as this place gets during the day, the nights are the worst!"
"Tired as well Carter?" Susan asked looking at me and smiling.
"Do you even have to ask? I just treated a homeless man for cancer.you know, sometimes I wonder." He replied, looking a bit sad.
He looked at me and I smiled at him and grabbed his hand.
"That's why we're here right? To h.. hell.p."
I grabbed my stomach as a harsh pain surged mercilessly through it. Carter grabbed me as I reached to hold something, never letting go of my hand.
"Abby!! What's wrong?" His voice was shaky. He was so worried; you could see he loved me.
"Uh.nothing. I think I'm just tired." I replied assuring both him and Susan. He pulled me to the side and looked at me. "I'm going to call in a replacement for your shift tonight. You should go home, and rest up." He held me in his arms.
"Yeah, you better go Abby. Don't worry - we will take care of everything." Susan reassured me. She looked worried.
"Actually, yeah, I should get some sleep. Thank you and don't worry I will be fine!" Susan gave me a hug, as Carter took me to his car and drove me to my apartment.
"Abby.. I'll be back in 2 hours, I'm sorry, I still have to work.but you'll be ok, right?" Carter apologized; he looked like he really wanted to stay.
"Carter!" I took his face in my hands and smiled. "I'll be fine, I promise. Thanks for the ride home!" I said, kissing him.
"Ok! If you need anything at all, call me ok?" He smiled and waved as I went up the stairs to the apartment.
When I got into the apartment, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me.I ran into the washroom, and had to clean up everything afterwards so Carter wouldn't know that I got sick. I just couldn't let him know, I didn't want him to worry. I got into bed, with such a sickening feeling over me, and fell right asleep.
3. Things Happen
~I walked quietly into Abby's apartment. I'd tried to get off work as soon as I could. I knew it wasn't just because she was tired that she had those pains, but I don't know what it was, and I'm worried.
I walked into the room, took off my coat and lay down next to her on the bed. It was so hard to tell what she was feeling; she never wanted people to hurt because of her. She is so caring, but I wish she knew that she isn't hurting anyone. I put my hand around her stomach and felt her hand grab mine.
"Hi." She said tiredly.
"Hey, you're supposed to be sleeping!" I laughed.
"I was, but I heard you come in and I just wanted to say goodnight," she kissed me lightly, "Carter, thanks for bringing me home and calling someone to replace me tonight." She laid her head on my chest.
"Hey, that's ok. I was worried about you.are you feling ok now?"
"Uh.yeah. Yeah, I think so."
~I woke up lying in Carters arms. I felt a sudden sickness rush through me, the bright red digits on the clock read 4:45 am. It had only been an hour since Carter came home and he had an afternoon shift, so I didn't want to wake him, but I had to get up. I ran to the bathroom and was so sick all I could do was sit exhausted on the cold tiled floor. I hoped I wouldn't wake Carter; I didn't want him to worry. Please say I didn't wake him.
~I felt a strong fear rush through me, and I opened my eyes. I saw Abby wasn't in the bed with me, she was in the washroom. After about 5 minutes of waiting for her, I got up and slowly walked to the door.
"Abby?"
No answer.
I opened the door cautiously to find her crying and shaking on the floor, obviously in pain.
"Abby!!" I gasped, as I ran up to her and took her in my arms. Being a doctor, I knew this couldn't be good. Fear is a scary thing and it was clutching at my heart.
"C-Carter." Abby wrapped her arms around me.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the bed. For a second I held her there as she shook in my arms.
"Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?"
"I didn't want you to worry, I guess." She had tears in her eyes.
I started gently rubbing her stomach, trying not to notice her wince.
"Worrying is my job."
"No it isn't. Not about me."
"Are you telling me not to worry?"
"No."
I smiled, and gently rolled her over onto her stomach, where she fell asleep.
I just hope she's ok.
4.Life's Little Miracles
I woke up and got dressed.
My stomach still hurt, but it wasn't as bad as last night. Perhaps it was Carter's healing hands.
I was thinking perhaps I should give myself an ultrasound. Just in case it was something serious.
~I walked into county and I tried to steer clear of anyone who might suspect something. I went into a private room with the ultrasound and sat on the bed, my hands shaking.
I made sure that no one could come in the room; I couldn't have anybody finding out and telling Carter.
As I started up the machine, I tried to search for something that might be the problem.
I went down on my stomach where the pain was the worst, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
A cyst.
Fabulous.
It looked alarmingly large, aswell.
Too large to treat with antibiotics.
I'll need surgery.
I knew I had to tell someone.
But who?
Hmm..maybe..maybe if I told Elizabeth, she could do something. She could book me in for surgery, maybe today, if she's not busy.
As I walked up to the surgical floor, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Tears were threatening to come, but I wouldn't let them fall.
"Hi, um..is Dr. Corday around?" I asked the desk clerk.
"She's just come out of surgery, she's talking to the relatives. You can wait here."
Just as I sat down, she appeared.
"Hello, Abby."
"Hey, uh.can I talk to you? Its very important."
"Is it about a patient?"
"Uh, no, it's.it's private."
"Um.right, er.yes, of course." Her British accent sounded confused.
She took me to the side, and I started to talk.
"Um.for a couple of days, I've been having some pains, in.in my stomach. I was worried, so.so I did an ultrasound, and I think I might have found something."
"What?"
"I think I might have an ovarian cyst."
"Oh, um, right."
"I was wondering if you could do an ultrasound, just to confirm?"
"Yes, of course.does Carter know?"
"No, and.I don't want you to tell him - or anyone else."
"Oh.of course, yes, but.don't you think he should know? If it is a cyst, you might need surgery, and you can't keep that from him."
"I know."
"Well.I'm not busy now, so if you're not, we could go in here and do it."
We went into a small room and she got all the equipment ready and started it up. Everything seemed so surreal at this moment.
She sighed.
"Yes, you do have a cyst, and I'm afraid it's too large to treat without surgery, and if we leave it any longer, you could miscarry."
My head snapped up so quick, I swear my neck cracked.
"W.what?!"
"You didn't know you were pregnant?"
"Uh, no!"
"Oh.well, if we get this thing - today, even - I have a space at three - then we can save the baby..you do want to keep it, don't you?"
"I.I don't know, it's all happening so fast!"
"Well.I'm afraid you don't have long to think about it. You could keep the baby now and have an abortion later, if you're going to have one.erm.but I suggest you tell Carter soon, Abby.if you're going to have an abortion, he has to know."
"Does he? He didn't last time." I trailed off.
"What? You've had an abortion before without telling him?"
"Not with Carter. A long time ago. It's not important."
"Did you take the necessary antibiotics afterward? Because if you didn't -
"I did. Everything's fine."
"Good.Abby.look, I don't know you or Carter very well, but I do consider you friends. And I know for a fact that Carter loves you more than anything. He'll understand, I'm sure he will."
"Will you do the surgery?"
"Of course."
"Ok. So.do you know what time?"
"Well, I've got to book the room, but I'm free at three."
"Right. I'll have to ask Weaver somehow."
"I'm sure she'll understand."
She turned to walk out of the room.
"Elizabeth?"
"Mm?"
"Thankyou."
She just smiled and left.
Now to find Carter.
As I walked downstairs, Kerry came running up to me yelling that there was an emergency in one of the rooms and they needed my help. I couldn't say no, so I had to run in and help out, and with my luck, Carter was the doctor working on a lady that passed out and hit her head in a supermarket. It looked like she had a heart attack.
"Abby get 10 on penicillin and check the heart rate!" Chuny yelled out to me, and I went into action.
"Hey!" Carter looked at me, and half smiled, "where did you go this morning, I woke up and you weren't there."
"Um. nowhere, Carter.we really cant talk about this right now!" I said quickly, trying to find the ladies heart rate.
"Abby? What's wrong?" He looked at me trying to see my emotions. I couldn't break down here, not now.
"Nothing, Carter! Just drop it, ok?!"
I felt so bad and the look on his face made my heart go numb.
"I.I'm sorry it's been a rough morning."
Carter was shocking the woman, and he looked really mad. We tried our best, but she lost the battle.
"Time of death, 1:20pm." Carter announced, and then stormed out of the room. I went after him as he went into the lounge.
Things didn't look good, and I definitely didn't feel good.
(Carter POV)
I couldn't contain my anger.
First, she leaves me at the apartment, worried sick about her, and now she is obviously hiding something!
I don't know where this relationship is going; I want it to last so badly, but if I'm the only one fighting for it how is that possible?
I needed to talk to her.
My heart just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be ok, but how could I when I don't even know what's wrong with her?
I walked into the lounge as she followed close behind. I had a feeling this was a conversation I'd be happy to miss.
"Carter, wait. I'm sorry!" She looked as if she was about to cry, which made everything worse.
"Abby.I just don't know anymore! I don't know why you wont let me in; I don't know why you wont tell me things! I know something is wrong, and if you wont tell me, I can't help you! But you never let anyone in! If you only knew you were not hurting anyone! I want to help Abby but if you don't tell me things, I'm not going to be able to!" Sadness and anger came over me.
"John.I know," She whispered, a small sob emitting from her throat, "I just.I didn't want you to worry about me."
"Abby, worying about you is not something you can stop just by not telling me anything! If anything, it makes me worry even more! I love you. You know that."
She was sobbing freely now. I'd never seen her like this. With every sob, she winced very slightly, as if it was hurting her.
"What is it?" I said tentatively.
"I." She sighed, closing her eyes, "last night. You know when I went into the bathroom, and I was on the floor?"
"Yeah." I was getting really worried now.
"Well.I was scared, because the pain was back this morning, and.I did an ultrasound, and.i.found something."
Oh God. No.
She's going to die, I just know it. I'm going to have to live without her, and I can't do that. Perhaps I could follow her? Take an overdose, or something.
"What.did you find?" I said quietly, my voice cracking in several places.
"A cyst. An ovarian cyst. It's.I'm gonna need surgery."
Ok. So maybe not fatal. But still very worrying.
"Um." She sighed again, heavier this time, and I thought she was going to faint, so I stepped closer, just in case, "So I went to see Elizabeth, and she said that I could have the op today."
"What? W-why do you need to get it done so fast? Why can't we wait?"
"Because.because if I don't have it done now, it could get larger, and it could become cancerous."
She was lying. I could always tell.
"No, really."
"Uh." She said shakily, tears beginning to fall again, "I.if I don't have surgery before too long, then.I could, uh.miscarry."
She said the last word almost inaudibly, but I could hear her, and I just stood there, stunned.
"You're.pregnant?"
She just nodded.
"I.wow.but.you don't."
"I know, I...didn't."
"Didn't?"
"Yeah. Didn't. But now I.I just don't want to kill it that way."
"That way? Which way were you thinking of?"
"Cater, don't get mad, I just.I need some time."
I went up to Abby and put my arms around her. I couldn't hold back my tears I was so afraid for her. She wrapped her arms around me and started crying all over again. I felt her tremble and shake and all I could do was just hold her. She looked up at me and I kissed her.
"We will get through this. I promise." I couldn't believe how scared I was.
"And you know that if you did decided to keep it.you know I wouldn't leave you, right? Because I wouldn't, no matter if the baby was bi-polar or anything else. We'd just love it, no matter what!"
She nodded, and broke down in my arms again.
"I love you." She whispered in my ear.
"I love you too."
At that moment Elizabeth came in, saying that if Abby hadn't eaten anything that day, and if she was ready, she could do the procedure now.
Abby just nodded solemnly.
"Um.I take it you've told Carter."
"Yes."
"So.am I performing an abortion aswell, or.?"
"No. Don't do an abortion."
I couldn't help but smile slightly, but Abby's face was still tear-stained, and not exactly happy.
"Right. Come up when you're ready."
Elizabeth smiled and left the room.
Abby hugged again, whispering almost desperately for me to go with her, which of course I had never questioned.
"Of course. But I'll have to go and tell Weaver.I'll make up an excuse."
"Ok." And with that, she left the room, wiping her eyes.
6. Healing Hands
I was terrified.
Usually I am the one that has to go and tell the waiting family the news about their loved ones, and now I am the person waiting.
She told me she loved me, I realize now more than ever that I can't live without her.
"Carter."
Susan's words broke through my thought as she handed me a coffee.
"Everything's going to be fine, I'm sure of it. It's just a cyst, Elizabeth can remove them pretty easily."
"Yeah." I mumbled. She didn't know about the baby yet.
It seemed as if years passed until elizabeth waled tiredly into the waiting room.
I stood up, my eyes searching her face for disappointment or sadness.
"Carter."
"Did you get it? Is she ok?"
"Yes, we got the cyst, though it was larger than we thought."
I was apprehensive about talking about the baby in front of Susan, but I had to know.
"And the baby?"
I pretended not to hear Susan gasp.
"The baby is in mild distress, which is common, because the procedure was operated so near the uterus, but I think it'll be fine."
"How far along is she?" Susan said, clearly in shock.
Even I didn't know this.
"Further than we thought - about eleven weeks."
"But it's fine?"
"Yes. Or it will be, when her body calms down."
"Can I see her?"
"Of course, this way."
She led us towards recovery, and Susan waited out side until I'd seen Abby first.
She was there, pale but but alive on the bed, a couple of tubes and wires hooking her up to two monitors - one for her, and one for the baby. I stared at the baby's monitor in awe for a moment, then at Abby, clenching my jaw to try to stop the tears.
I knelt beside her and held her hand.
"She should wake up in a little while." Elizabeth murmured.
And I just sat next to Abby, kissing her forehead gently.
"Please don't leave me."
I woke up to Luka's Croatian accent cutting through my dreams.
"Carter! Wake up! It's the morning." He smiled at me.
"Huh, Oh!" I mumbled, getting up. "How is she?" I looked at Abby, still sleeping, she looked like an angel.
"She is doing fine. He heartrate is steady and everything seems to be great!!" He smiled at me as he left the room. All the sudden I felt a hand wave into mine, and a sence of joy and happiness raced through me.
"Abby?" I looked around at her laying there on the gurney, with her eyes wide open.
"Hey." She smiled weakly, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Hi," I whispered gently. I was the happiest person alive. "I was so worried about you.how are you feeling?"
"Fabulous." She said sarcastically.
She was still the same.
"Um." she continued, "how's the baby? Is that the monitor?" she craned her neck to see the smaller monitor at the side of hers.
"Yeah," I whispered, grinning, "it's doing fine. The heart rate was a little fast after your op, but it's fine now."
"Good."
"So.are we keeping it?" I enquired gently.
She didn't answer for a moment, then-
"You have to promise me you'll love it, and that you won't hate me if it's bi-polar."
"Sweetheart, why would I hate you? And both you and I will love it, no matter what."
"And.don't feel like you have to marry me."
"Ok then."
She looked a little taken aback by that comment - I think she was expecting me to propose.
"Good."
After that, she said she was feeling tired, so I left her to sleep, and went to her apartment to get her some clothes and things, and also a quick stop at the mansion, as I needed to pick something up.
7. Our Life, Our Love
(Abby POV)
About a week after my op, I was well on the mend, and back at what has become sort of mine and Carter's apartment of late. Ever since I came home, he hasn't let me out of his sight - insisting I work on mild traumas, or if that was impossible, only large traumas with him to keep an eye on me, covering me with a blanket on the couch at night and rubbing my back while we watched a film or Fear Factor together..he was so protective, but in a nice way.
It's been a pretty rough road for us, what with my brother, and my drinking, and his Gamma's death.but now I know we're ready, and, rather embarrasingly, and to my surprise, I've found myself becoming slightly broody over this past week. I'm definitely coming round to the idea of having a baby, which is completely unlike me.
I flip out of my trance at the nurses' station to see Susan walking up to me, a small smile on her face.
"Hey skiver."
"I am not skiving! You know perfectly well I'm still recovering!"
"Right. So.how are things? With.you know, the baby."
I smiled at her tentativeness.
"Everything's great, thanks, Susan."
"Good. Hey, uh.Carter told me to tell you he wants you to go to the mansion tonight at about 8:00."
"Did he say why?"
"Uh.he said something about doing some work, or something."
"Oh, um.right. And he couldn't ask me himself?"
"No."
"Oh. Ok then."
~~~
God, what am I going to wear?
I didn't know if he wanted me to be dressed up, or casual..so I opted for casual yet classy..and it wasn't like he was going to be standing there naked, as he insisted that we don't have sex until I'm FULLY recovered, which I know is torturing him, but the sutures still hurt every now and then, so I think he's probably right.
It was quite a surprise when a limo arrived to the apartment to pick me up! It drove me to the mansion, and I hadn't seen Carter all day because of my shift, so I was glad to be seeing him tonight.
I walked up to the door and opened it, walking in to see a trail of rose petals leading to the huge living room. I could hear music on, it was a beautiful song, it reminded me of him, making me want to see him even more. I walked into the living room, and there were candles and roses everywhere! I was so surprised, and then I saw Carter, standing there in a brand new jet black Armani suit, nearly making my knees weak.
As I walked further into the candle lit room, I could feel a warmth envelope me, and it was something so pure, so amazing, I never wanted to leave this moment.
Carter walked up to me, with a rose in his hand. He handed it to me and kissed me gently.
"Abby.."
"What's all this?"
"Ssshh, don't speak," he said gently, putting a long, elegant finger to my lips, "just hear me out."
Oh god. He's going to propose.
"You know that I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and I know there was a time when we both didn't know if we were going to make it, with all the baggage we had.and still have. But I think we're gonna make it..i really think we're gonna make it right to the end. I think we were meant to be together - right from the start, even though we didn't know it then."
He laughed lightly, his thumb gently brushing away a tear felling silently from my eye.
"I love everything about you; I always have. I love your smile, your laugh, I love the way you insist on wearing my t-shirts to bed, I love the way my arms just fit around your body and your around mine like they grew that way. I love the way your hair just falls around your shoulders, I love the way you smell just after you've had a shower..but above all, I love you as a person."
"Oh God, Carter." I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.
"Sshh, just let me get this out..Abby Lockhart, I want to be with you for the rest of my life - will you marry me?"
He got down on one knee and produced the huge ring that I'd seen through chance.
"Oh, God, that ring is so beautiful." I whispered.
"Is that a yes?"
My face fell, a 'deer-in-the-headlights' look on my face. I glanced down.
"No." I whispered, almost inaudibly, and the look on his face was the most heart-breaking I'd ever seen.
I threw myself around his neck, kissing him as passionately as I could muster, then I whispered in his ear:
"That's a hell yes."
He looked at me in wonder, his face a picture, before gathering me up into his arms, slipping the ring on my finger, tears of joy sliding down his clean-shaven face.
He put me down, and started to sway us gently to the music.
"I love you," I said dreamily, staring up at him.
He sighed deeply in the way I love, before kissing me gently.
"I love you."
And at that moment I knew it was going to be very hard not to make love to him that night.
After we'd danced for about half an hour, me gradually falling asleep on his shoulder, and him falling asleep resting his head on mine.
I wouldn't have changed this night for anything.
The CD stopped, and we carried on dancing for a moment, when I realized I was thirsty, so I went to get a glass of water.
When I came back, I found him on the couch, his head back, and his eyes closed.
"You tired?" I enquired gently.
"Mmm." he moaned sleepily, pulling me down beside him as he started to rub my stomach tenderly with a finger.
I puled him up and we went into the bedroom, and I stared at him as he undressed me and put me in my- HIS favourite shirt.
"There. Perfect. You ok?"
"Yes, sweetie, I'm fine."
"Now I have nothing to wear!"
"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm." I said, wrapping my arms around him as I snuggled close into the crook of his neck.
"I know you will."
As usual, we fell asleep in each other's arms, and there was no place on earth I'd rather be.
8. Give me the gift some months later.
I looked in the mirror and thought about the last months with awe.
They had been wonderful and exciting, but this was getting insane! This little one better come out soon!
Carter and I can't wait!
He could barely keep his hands off my stomach the past months! He payed more attention to my lower body than me!! But I thought it was sweet, and everyone at county did too!
Our wedding was beautiful - I am now happily Mrs. John Carter.
I smiled as I thought of our wedding.
Susan was the maid of hounor and she helped tremendously.
I was so happy - being here, married to the man I love, carrying our child!
As if on cue, just as I was as comfortable as I could be, a sharp pain shot through my midsection.
I grabbed my stomach and ran to the phone, because Carter was working.
"ER." Frank's voice came on the line.
"Frank! I need Carter!"
"Who's speaking, please?"
"Frank! It's Abby! I'm in labor, just GET CARTER!" I screeched as another pain surged through me, and I looked down to see myself standing in a puddle of water.
"Oh crap, my water broke!" I said to myself.
This was going really fast. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to the hospital!
"Abby? Oh, sweetheart, are you ok?" I heard the worried tone of my husband on the phone.
"No I am not ok!!! I'm in labor!!"
"Did your water break yet?"
"YES!!"
"Ok, ok, don't worry, just calm down, I'm on my way."
~~~
About ten minutes later, he rushed through the door, and to my side.
"Carter!"
"Oh, Abby, are you ok? Sorry, sorry, uh..you wait there, I'll get the bag, ok?"
"Ok, don't be ttOO LOONG!" I winced, then remembering to breathe.
"Ok honey, let's go!"
He steered as best he could to the car, mostly holding me up, and I knew it wouldn't be long.
We got into the car with some difficulty.
"Ok! Here we go!"
"Just drive, dammit!"
8. Our Little Miracle.
"Ahhhh!!!" I screamed as Susan calmly told me to not worry and that everything would be ok, and just to breathe.
"Ok Abby! Just a few more pushes! It'll be over soon!!"
I'd always wanted her to deliver the baby, moslty because she obviously wanted to, but also because she was my best friend.
It was good to have her do it.
Carter was putting a cold cloth on my forehead and rubbing my stomach rythmically, urging me on, grinning like a maniac.
"It'll be ok Abby! Just a few more pushes!" He soothed me. "That's easy for you to say!!"
"Ok Abby ONE more push!" Susan looked at Carter and smiled.
During that moment everything went in slow motion.
Suddenly I heard the most beautiful sound in the world - our baby crying.
As I started crying harder than before, Carter kissed me, tears rolling freely down his face.
"You have a beautiful baby girl!" Susan grinned as she took the baby and put her in my arms.
I gasped as she immediately stoped crying.
"I think she likes you!" Susan said, crying aswell.
"Ok, let's just clean her up, then you can have her back." The nurse said systematically. She did this every day.
I reluctantly let her go, and when she was clean, the nurse handed her to Carter, who started sobbing instantly.
She opened her eyes, and I saw with relief that they were his.
She reached up her tiny hand to touch his face, and I knew she was going to be a daddy's girl, which is just what Carter and I wanted, really.
"Does baby have a name?"
"Susie." We said in unison.
"Oh, you GUYS!!" Susan squealed.
"Well, we couldn't agree on a anme, and we thought you'd helped us so much, so we decided to name her after you."
She hugged me and left the room to allow us all to bond, while Carter just stood there staring at her, kissing her fingers and crying.
He turned to me and put her in my arms.
"I think she's probably hungry."
"Yeah.." I trailed off, just staring in wonder.
"I love you, Abby. I love you both so much. Forever and always."
And his lips met mine in a gentle kiss, and I knew this was forever.
Brown eyes.
She had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen.
Then again, everything about her was beautiful.
Three years ago, when we first met, there was something about her - something I couldn't describe, something I didn't want to admit to myself. She was just a med student, like every other one.
But she wasn't.
My mild interest developed quickly into a crush, which then developed into something much more worrying.
Love.
It became so strong that I wanted to see her all the time, and know every secret.
Luckily for me, that happened, and we became friends. Well, best friends.
Through the pain and horror we both saw everyday, along with the happiness and joy, at the end of the day, through it all, all I see is her.
Abby Lockhart.
Though I'd much rather she'd have a different second name.
Last year, I finally made my move. After two years.
The ER was flooded with patients, it was boiling hot, and, to top it all, every patient, doctor, nurse, orderly - all were at risk of suspected smallpox. She stayed by my side, despite the terrifying fact that any one of us could ultimately have died.
But being the "super nurse" she is, she stayed with me.
And the five of us, Abby, Deb, Pratt, me, and Stan "The Can" were quarantined for two weeks in the ER that I usually can't wait to be out of. But this time, it was different. I didn't want to leave.
In there, we seemed cut off from the rest of the world - no-one to hurt us, or break us apart. Something I wanted with all my heart, for 2 years, happened - our first time. Sounds completely soppy, but it was magical.
I cherish her, all those times we went for 'coffee and pie' when the other had a bad shift, everyday I wanted to be with her, no matter how hard I tried to avoid my feelings.
Now, here we are, in the hospital lounge, and her beautiful eyes are glancing at me, as she grabs my hand, almost instinctively.
"Carter?" She smiled, "are you ok? You looked miles away!" She looked concerned, but I smiled reassure her.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine.just, uh.thinking about stuff.but I better get back to work before Weaver comes with a chainsaw." I stood up and drank the last of my coffee. We were both working the night shift. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up with me.
"No rest for the weary, huh?"She said, wrapping her arms around my neck, and groaning. "I have to work pretty much all night!"
"Well, nothing is too hard for you Abby!" I pulled her closer to me. "After all, you are the super nurse right?" I said, smiling.
"Ha! Right, of course." She smiled that famous smile. I leaned in and kissed her. Then I left the room, heading back into the ER vortex.
In My Eyes.
I laughed to myself.
'Super nurse', Carter loved to call me that.
I may not say it a lot, but I love him. Ever since we met, he was the only one that could really get through to me. He is also the only one that really helped me with my family.
I remember, not so long ago, how sad and pessimistic I was. Luckily now, I'm cheering up considerably.
We've been through so much together, and.we've had our problems, but really, who doesn't?
"Abby!" Susan's voice broke through my thoughts. But it was all right; she was my best friend, after all.
"Oh, hey Susan! Sorry!" I snapped out of my trance.
"Sorry! We just need you out here! A car hit a guy, he has multiple injuries and may need amputation!"
Chaos was reining and Luka was working on him.
"Abby! Check his oxypulse! And get some morphine, this guys gonna need it!" I ran around helping out. It's times like these when the world spins. Being a nurse was something I always wanted to do, though it can be painful at times, but this is where I help people, not to mention, where I met Carter. I don't think I would ever leave.
"Ok pre-op is ready!" I told Luka, getting off the page to Elizabeth.
"Good! Take him up!" Luka ordered. They took the poor guy upstairs. When he wakes up, he wont have a leg.
Susan walked up to me.
"Are you ok? You look tired!" She was always concerned about me. Especially since the time my brother disappeared.
"Yeah, I'm completely exhausted! But hey, when does that ever change?"
"Well, soon we have to have another girls night out, so sleep up!" She smiled at me.
"Oh you know I will!" I said as Carter walked up to us.
"What a night!" he said. "I think as crazy as this place gets during the day, the nights are the worst!"
"Tired as well Carter?" Susan asked looking at me and smiling.
"Do you even have to ask? I just treated a homeless man for cancer.you know, sometimes I wonder." He replied, looking a bit sad.
He looked at me and I smiled at him and grabbed his hand.
"That's why we're here right? To h.. hell.p."
I grabbed my stomach as a harsh pain surged mercilessly through it. Carter grabbed me as I reached to hold something, never letting go of my hand.
"Abby!! What's wrong?" His voice was shaky. He was so worried; you could see he loved me.
"Uh.nothing. I think I'm just tired." I replied assuring both him and Susan. He pulled me to the side and looked at me. "I'm going to call in a replacement for your shift tonight. You should go home, and rest up." He held me in his arms.
"Yeah, you better go Abby. Don't worry - we will take care of everything." Susan reassured me. She looked worried.
"Actually, yeah, I should get some sleep. Thank you and don't worry I will be fine!" Susan gave me a hug, as Carter took me to his car and drove me to my apartment.
"Abby.. I'll be back in 2 hours, I'm sorry, I still have to work.but you'll be ok, right?" Carter apologized; he looked like he really wanted to stay.
"Carter!" I took his face in my hands and smiled. "I'll be fine, I promise. Thanks for the ride home!" I said, kissing him.
"Ok! If you need anything at all, call me ok?" He smiled and waved as I went up the stairs to the apartment.
When I got into the apartment, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me.I ran into the washroom, and had to clean up everything afterwards so Carter wouldn't know that I got sick. I just couldn't let him know, I didn't want him to worry. I got into bed, with such a sickening feeling over me, and fell right asleep.
3. Things Happen
~I walked quietly into Abby's apartment. I'd tried to get off work as soon as I could. I knew it wasn't just because she was tired that she had those pains, but I don't know what it was, and I'm worried.
I walked into the room, took off my coat and lay down next to her on the bed. It was so hard to tell what she was feeling; she never wanted people to hurt because of her. She is so caring, but I wish she knew that she isn't hurting anyone. I put my hand around her stomach and felt her hand grab mine.
"Hi." She said tiredly.
"Hey, you're supposed to be sleeping!" I laughed.
"I was, but I heard you come in and I just wanted to say goodnight," she kissed me lightly, "Carter, thanks for bringing me home and calling someone to replace me tonight." She laid her head on my chest.
"Hey, that's ok. I was worried about you.are you feling ok now?"
"Uh.yeah. Yeah, I think so."
~I woke up lying in Carters arms. I felt a sudden sickness rush through me, the bright red digits on the clock read 4:45 am. It had only been an hour since Carter came home and he had an afternoon shift, so I didn't want to wake him, but I had to get up. I ran to the bathroom and was so sick all I could do was sit exhausted on the cold tiled floor. I hoped I wouldn't wake Carter; I didn't want him to worry. Please say I didn't wake him.
~I felt a strong fear rush through me, and I opened my eyes. I saw Abby wasn't in the bed with me, she was in the washroom. After about 5 minutes of waiting for her, I got up and slowly walked to the door.
"Abby?"
No answer.
I opened the door cautiously to find her crying and shaking on the floor, obviously in pain.
"Abby!!" I gasped, as I ran up to her and took her in my arms. Being a doctor, I knew this couldn't be good. Fear is a scary thing and it was clutching at my heart.
"C-Carter." Abby wrapped her arms around me.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the bed. For a second I held her there as she shook in my arms.
"Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?"
"I didn't want you to worry, I guess." She had tears in her eyes.
I started gently rubbing her stomach, trying not to notice her wince.
"Worrying is my job."
"No it isn't. Not about me."
"Are you telling me not to worry?"
"No."
I smiled, and gently rolled her over onto her stomach, where she fell asleep.
I just hope she's ok.
4.Life's Little Miracles
I woke up and got dressed.
My stomach still hurt, but it wasn't as bad as last night. Perhaps it was Carter's healing hands.
I was thinking perhaps I should give myself an ultrasound. Just in case it was something serious.
~I walked into county and I tried to steer clear of anyone who might suspect something. I went into a private room with the ultrasound and sat on the bed, my hands shaking.
I made sure that no one could come in the room; I couldn't have anybody finding out and telling Carter.
As I started up the machine, I tried to search for something that might be the problem.
I went down on my stomach where the pain was the worst, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
A cyst.
Fabulous.
It looked alarmingly large, aswell.
Too large to treat with antibiotics.
I'll need surgery.
I knew I had to tell someone.
But who?
Hmm..maybe..maybe if I told Elizabeth, she could do something. She could book me in for surgery, maybe today, if she's not busy.
As I walked up to the surgical floor, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Tears were threatening to come, but I wouldn't let them fall.
"Hi, um..is Dr. Corday around?" I asked the desk clerk.
"She's just come out of surgery, she's talking to the relatives. You can wait here."
Just as I sat down, she appeared.
"Hello, Abby."
"Hey, uh.can I talk to you? Its very important."
"Is it about a patient?"
"Uh, no, it's.it's private."
"Um.right, er.yes, of course." Her British accent sounded confused.
She took me to the side, and I started to talk.
"Um.for a couple of days, I've been having some pains, in.in my stomach. I was worried, so.so I did an ultrasound, and I think I might have found something."
"What?"
"I think I might have an ovarian cyst."
"Oh, um, right."
"I was wondering if you could do an ultrasound, just to confirm?"
"Yes, of course.does Carter know?"
"No, and.I don't want you to tell him - or anyone else."
"Oh.of course, yes, but.don't you think he should know? If it is a cyst, you might need surgery, and you can't keep that from him."
"I know."
"Well.I'm not busy now, so if you're not, we could go in here and do it."
We went into a small room and she got all the equipment ready and started it up. Everything seemed so surreal at this moment.
She sighed.
"Yes, you do have a cyst, and I'm afraid it's too large to treat without surgery, and if we leave it any longer, you could miscarry."
My head snapped up so quick, I swear my neck cracked.
"W.what?!"
"You didn't know you were pregnant?"
"Uh, no!"
"Oh.well, if we get this thing - today, even - I have a space at three - then we can save the baby..you do want to keep it, don't you?"
"I.I don't know, it's all happening so fast!"
"Well.I'm afraid you don't have long to think about it. You could keep the baby now and have an abortion later, if you're going to have one.erm.but I suggest you tell Carter soon, Abby.if you're going to have an abortion, he has to know."
"Does he? He didn't last time." I trailed off.
"What? You've had an abortion before without telling him?"
"Not with Carter. A long time ago. It's not important."
"Did you take the necessary antibiotics afterward? Because if you didn't -
"I did. Everything's fine."
"Good.Abby.look, I don't know you or Carter very well, but I do consider you friends. And I know for a fact that Carter loves you more than anything. He'll understand, I'm sure he will."
"Will you do the surgery?"
"Of course."
"Ok. So.do you know what time?"
"Well, I've got to book the room, but I'm free at three."
"Right. I'll have to ask Weaver somehow."
"I'm sure she'll understand."
She turned to walk out of the room.
"Elizabeth?"
"Mm?"
"Thankyou."
She just smiled and left.
Now to find Carter.
As I walked downstairs, Kerry came running up to me yelling that there was an emergency in one of the rooms and they needed my help. I couldn't say no, so I had to run in and help out, and with my luck, Carter was the doctor working on a lady that passed out and hit her head in a supermarket. It looked like she had a heart attack.
"Abby get 10 on penicillin and check the heart rate!" Chuny yelled out to me, and I went into action.
"Hey!" Carter looked at me, and half smiled, "where did you go this morning, I woke up and you weren't there."
"Um. nowhere, Carter.we really cant talk about this right now!" I said quickly, trying to find the ladies heart rate.
"Abby? What's wrong?" He looked at me trying to see my emotions. I couldn't break down here, not now.
"Nothing, Carter! Just drop it, ok?!"
I felt so bad and the look on his face made my heart go numb.
"I.I'm sorry it's been a rough morning."
Carter was shocking the woman, and he looked really mad. We tried our best, but she lost the battle.
"Time of death, 1:20pm." Carter announced, and then stormed out of the room. I went after him as he went into the lounge.
Things didn't look good, and I definitely didn't feel good.
(Carter POV)
I couldn't contain my anger.
First, she leaves me at the apartment, worried sick about her, and now she is obviously hiding something!
I don't know where this relationship is going; I want it to last so badly, but if I'm the only one fighting for it how is that possible?
I needed to talk to her.
My heart just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be ok, but how could I when I don't even know what's wrong with her?
I walked into the lounge as she followed close behind. I had a feeling this was a conversation I'd be happy to miss.
"Carter, wait. I'm sorry!" She looked as if she was about to cry, which made everything worse.
"Abby.I just don't know anymore! I don't know why you wont let me in; I don't know why you wont tell me things! I know something is wrong, and if you wont tell me, I can't help you! But you never let anyone in! If you only knew you were not hurting anyone! I want to help Abby but if you don't tell me things, I'm not going to be able to!" Sadness and anger came over me.
"John.I know," She whispered, a small sob emitting from her throat, "I just.I didn't want you to worry about me."
"Abby, worying about you is not something you can stop just by not telling me anything! If anything, it makes me worry even more! I love you. You know that."
She was sobbing freely now. I'd never seen her like this. With every sob, she winced very slightly, as if it was hurting her.
"What is it?" I said tentatively.
"I." She sighed, closing her eyes, "last night. You know when I went into the bathroom, and I was on the floor?"
"Yeah." I was getting really worried now.
"Well.I was scared, because the pain was back this morning, and.I did an ultrasound, and.i.found something."
Oh God. No.
She's going to die, I just know it. I'm going to have to live without her, and I can't do that. Perhaps I could follow her? Take an overdose, or something.
"What.did you find?" I said quietly, my voice cracking in several places.
"A cyst. An ovarian cyst. It's.I'm gonna need surgery."
Ok. So maybe not fatal. But still very worrying.
"Um." She sighed again, heavier this time, and I thought she was going to faint, so I stepped closer, just in case, "So I went to see Elizabeth, and she said that I could have the op today."
"What? W-why do you need to get it done so fast? Why can't we wait?"
"Because.because if I don't have it done now, it could get larger, and it could become cancerous."
She was lying. I could always tell.
"No, really."
"Uh." She said shakily, tears beginning to fall again, "I.if I don't have surgery before too long, then.I could, uh.miscarry."
She said the last word almost inaudibly, but I could hear her, and I just stood there, stunned.
"You're.pregnant?"
She just nodded.
"I.wow.but.you don't."
"I know, I...didn't."
"Didn't?"
"Yeah. Didn't. But now I.I just don't want to kill it that way."
"That way? Which way were you thinking of?"
"Cater, don't get mad, I just.I need some time."
I went up to Abby and put my arms around her. I couldn't hold back my tears I was so afraid for her. She wrapped her arms around me and started crying all over again. I felt her tremble and shake and all I could do was just hold her. She looked up at me and I kissed her.
"We will get through this. I promise." I couldn't believe how scared I was.
"And you know that if you did decided to keep it.you know I wouldn't leave you, right? Because I wouldn't, no matter if the baby was bi-polar or anything else. We'd just love it, no matter what!"
She nodded, and broke down in my arms again.
"I love you." She whispered in my ear.
"I love you too."
At that moment Elizabeth came in, saying that if Abby hadn't eaten anything that day, and if she was ready, she could do the procedure now.
Abby just nodded solemnly.
"Um.I take it you've told Carter."
"Yes."
"So.am I performing an abortion aswell, or.?"
"No. Don't do an abortion."
I couldn't help but smile slightly, but Abby's face was still tear-stained, and not exactly happy.
"Right. Come up when you're ready."
Elizabeth smiled and left the room.
Abby hugged again, whispering almost desperately for me to go with her, which of course I had never questioned.
"Of course. But I'll have to go and tell Weaver.I'll make up an excuse."
"Ok." And with that, she left the room, wiping her eyes.
6. Healing Hands
I was terrified.
Usually I am the one that has to go and tell the waiting family the news about their loved ones, and now I am the person waiting.
She told me she loved me, I realize now more than ever that I can't live without her.
"Carter."
Susan's words broke through my thought as she handed me a coffee.
"Everything's going to be fine, I'm sure of it. It's just a cyst, Elizabeth can remove them pretty easily."
"Yeah." I mumbled. She didn't know about the baby yet.
It seemed as if years passed until elizabeth waled tiredly into the waiting room.
I stood up, my eyes searching her face for disappointment or sadness.
"Carter."
"Did you get it? Is she ok?"
"Yes, we got the cyst, though it was larger than we thought."
I was apprehensive about talking about the baby in front of Susan, but I had to know.
"And the baby?"
I pretended not to hear Susan gasp.
"The baby is in mild distress, which is common, because the procedure was operated so near the uterus, but I think it'll be fine."
"How far along is she?" Susan said, clearly in shock.
Even I didn't know this.
"Further than we thought - about eleven weeks."
"But it's fine?"
"Yes. Or it will be, when her body calms down."
"Can I see her?"
"Of course, this way."
She led us towards recovery, and Susan waited out side until I'd seen Abby first.
She was there, pale but but alive on the bed, a couple of tubes and wires hooking her up to two monitors - one for her, and one for the baby. I stared at the baby's monitor in awe for a moment, then at Abby, clenching my jaw to try to stop the tears.
I knelt beside her and held her hand.
"She should wake up in a little while." Elizabeth murmured.
And I just sat next to Abby, kissing her forehead gently.
"Please don't leave me."
I woke up to Luka's Croatian accent cutting through my dreams.
"Carter! Wake up! It's the morning." He smiled at me.
"Huh, Oh!" I mumbled, getting up. "How is she?" I looked at Abby, still sleeping, she looked like an angel.
"She is doing fine. He heartrate is steady and everything seems to be great!!" He smiled at me as he left the room. All the sudden I felt a hand wave into mine, and a sence of joy and happiness raced through me.
"Abby?" I looked around at her laying there on the gurney, with her eyes wide open.
"Hey." She smiled weakly, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Hi," I whispered gently. I was the happiest person alive. "I was so worried about you.how are you feeling?"
"Fabulous." She said sarcastically.
She was still the same.
"Um." she continued, "how's the baby? Is that the monitor?" she craned her neck to see the smaller monitor at the side of hers.
"Yeah," I whispered, grinning, "it's doing fine. The heart rate was a little fast after your op, but it's fine now."
"Good."
"So.are we keeping it?" I enquired gently.
She didn't answer for a moment, then-
"You have to promise me you'll love it, and that you won't hate me if it's bi-polar."
"Sweetheart, why would I hate you? And both you and I will love it, no matter what."
"And.don't feel like you have to marry me."
"Ok then."
She looked a little taken aback by that comment - I think she was expecting me to propose.
"Good."
After that, she said she was feeling tired, so I left her to sleep, and went to her apartment to get her some clothes and things, and also a quick stop at the mansion, as I needed to pick something up.
7. Our Life, Our Love
(Abby POV)
About a week after my op, I was well on the mend, and back at what has become sort of mine and Carter's apartment of late. Ever since I came home, he hasn't let me out of his sight - insisting I work on mild traumas, or if that was impossible, only large traumas with him to keep an eye on me, covering me with a blanket on the couch at night and rubbing my back while we watched a film or Fear Factor together..he was so protective, but in a nice way.
It's been a pretty rough road for us, what with my brother, and my drinking, and his Gamma's death.but now I know we're ready, and, rather embarrasingly, and to my surprise, I've found myself becoming slightly broody over this past week. I'm definitely coming round to the idea of having a baby, which is completely unlike me.
I flip out of my trance at the nurses' station to see Susan walking up to me, a small smile on her face.
"Hey skiver."
"I am not skiving! You know perfectly well I'm still recovering!"
"Right. So.how are things? With.you know, the baby."
I smiled at her tentativeness.
"Everything's great, thanks, Susan."
"Good. Hey, uh.Carter told me to tell you he wants you to go to the mansion tonight at about 8:00."
"Did he say why?"
"Uh.he said something about doing some work, or something."
"Oh, um.right. And he couldn't ask me himself?"
"No."
"Oh. Ok then."
~~~
God, what am I going to wear?
I didn't know if he wanted me to be dressed up, or casual..so I opted for casual yet classy..and it wasn't like he was going to be standing there naked, as he insisted that we don't have sex until I'm FULLY recovered, which I know is torturing him, but the sutures still hurt every now and then, so I think he's probably right.
It was quite a surprise when a limo arrived to the apartment to pick me up! It drove me to the mansion, and I hadn't seen Carter all day because of my shift, so I was glad to be seeing him tonight.
I walked up to the door and opened it, walking in to see a trail of rose petals leading to the huge living room. I could hear music on, it was a beautiful song, it reminded me of him, making me want to see him even more. I walked into the living room, and there were candles and roses everywhere! I was so surprised, and then I saw Carter, standing there in a brand new jet black Armani suit, nearly making my knees weak.
As I walked further into the candle lit room, I could feel a warmth envelope me, and it was something so pure, so amazing, I never wanted to leave this moment.
Carter walked up to me, with a rose in his hand. He handed it to me and kissed me gently.
"Abby.."
"What's all this?"
"Ssshh, don't speak," he said gently, putting a long, elegant finger to my lips, "just hear me out."
Oh god. He's going to propose.
"You know that I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and I know there was a time when we both didn't know if we were going to make it, with all the baggage we had.and still have. But I think we're gonna make it..i really think we're gonna make it right to the end. I think we were meant to be together - right from the start, even though we didn't know it then."
He laughed lightly, his thumb gently brushing away a tear felling silently from my eye.
"I love everything about you; I always have. I love your smile, your laugh, I love the way you insist on wearing my t-shirts to bed, I love the way my arms just fit around your body and your around mine like they grew that way. I love the way your hair just falls around your shoulders, I love the way you smell just after you've had a shower..but above all, I love you as a person."
"Oh God, Carter." I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.
"Sshh, just let me get this out..Abby Lockhart, I want to be with you for the rest of my life - will you marry me?"
He got down on one knee and produced the huge ring that I'd seen through chance.
"Oh, God, that ring is so beautiful." I whispered.
"Is that a yes?"
My face fell, a 'deer-in-the-headlights' look on my face. I glanced down.
"No." I whispered, almost inaudibly, and the look on his face was the most heart-breaking I'd ever seen.
I threw myself around his neck, kissing him as passionately as I could muster, then I whispered in his ear:
"That's a hell yes."
He looked at me in wonder, his face a picture, before gathering me up into his arms, slipping the ring on my finger, tears of joy sliding down his clean-shaven face.
He put me down, and started to sway us gently to the music.
"I love you," I said dreamily, staring up at him.
He sighed deeply in the way I love, before kissing me gently.
"I love you."
And at that moment I knew it was going to be very hard not to make love to him that night.
After we'd danced for about half an hour, me gradually falling asleep on his shoulder, and him falling asleep resting his head on mine.
I wouldn't have changed this night for anything.
The CD stopped, and we carried on dancing for a moment, when I realized I was thirsty, so I went to get a glass of water.
When I came back, I found him on the couch, his head back, and his eyes closed.
"You tired?" I enquired gently.
"Mmm." he moaned sleepily, pulling me down beside him as he started to rub my stomach tenderly with a finger.
I puled him up and we went into the bedroom, and I stared at him as he undressed me and put me in my- HIS favourite shirt.
"There. Perfect. You ok?"
"Yes, sweetie, I'm fine."
"Now I have nothing to wear!"
"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm." I said, wrapping my arms around him as I snuggled close into the crook of his neck.
"I know you will."
As usual, we fell asleep in each other's arms, and there was no place on earth I'd rather be.
8. Give me the gift some months later.
I looked in the mirror and thought about the last months with awe.
They had been wonderful and exciting, but this was getting insane! This little one better come out soon!
Carter and I can't wait!
He could barely keep his hands off my stomach the past months! He payed more attention to my lower body than me!! But I thought it was sweet, and everyone at county did too!
Our wedding was beautiful - I am now happily Mrs. John Carter.
I smiled as I thought of our wedding.
Susan was the maid of hounor and she helped tremendously.
I was so happy - being here, married to the man I love, carrying our child!
As if on cue, just as I was as comfortable as I could be, a sharp pain shot through my midsection.
I grabbed my stomach and ran to the phone, because Carter was working.
"ER." Frank's voice came on the line.
"Frank! I need Carter!"
"Who's speaking, please?"
"Frank! It's Abby! I'm in labor, just GET CARTER!" I screeched as another pain surged through me, and I looked down to see myself standing in a puddle of water.
"Oh crap, my water broke!" I said to myself.
This was going really fast. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to the hospital!
"Abby? Oh, sweetheart, are you ok?" I heard the worried tone of my husband on the phone.
"No I am not ok!!! I'm in labor!!"
"Did your water break yet?"
"YES!!"
"Ok, ok, don't worry, just calm down, I'm on my way."
~~~
About ten minutes later, he rushed through the door, and to my side.
"Carter!"
"Oh, Abby, are you ok? Sorry, sorry, uh..you wait there, I'll get the bag, ok?"
"Ok, don't be ttOO LOONG!" I winced, then remembering to breathe.
"Ok honey, let's go!"
He steered as best he could to the car, mostly holding me up, and I knew it wouldn't be long.
We got into the car with some difficulty.
"Ok! Here we go!"
"Just drive, dammit!"
8. Our Little Miracle.
"Ahhhh!!!" I screamed as Susan calmly told me to not worry and that everything would be ok, and just to breathe.
"Ok Abby! Just a few more pushes! It'll be over soon!!"
I'd always wanted her to deliver the baby, moslty because she obviously wanted to, but also because she was my best friend.
It was good to have her do it.
Carter was putting a cold cloth on my forehead and rubbing my stomach rythmically, urging me on, grinning like a maniac.
"It'll be ok Abby! Just a few more pushes!" He soothed me. "That's easy for you to say!!"
"Ok Abby ONE more push!" Susan looked at Carter and smiled.
During that moment everything went in slow motion.
Suddenly I heard the most beautiful sound in the world - our baby crying.
As I started crying harder than before, Carter kissed me, tears rolling freely down his face.
"You have a beautiful baby girl!" Susan grinned as she took the baby and put her in my arms.
I gasped as she immediately stoped crying.
"I think she likes you!" Susan said, crying aswell.
"Ok, let's just clean her up, then you can have her back." The nurse said systematically. She did this every day.
I reluctantly let her go, and when she was clean, the nurse handed her to Carter, who started sobbing instantly.
She opened her eyes, and I saw with relief that they were his.
She reached up her tiny hand to touch his face, and I knew she was going to be a daddy's girl, which is just what Carter and I wanted, really.
"Does baby have a name?"
"Susie." We said in unison.
"Oh, you GUYS!!" Susan squealed.
"Well, we couldn't agree on a anme, and we thought you'd helped us so much, so we decided to name her after you."
She hugged me and left the room to allow us all to bond, while Carter just stood there staring at her, kissing her fingers and crying.
He turned to me and put her in my arms.
"I think she's probably hungry."
"Yeah.." I trailed off, just staring in wonder.
"I love you, Abby. I love you both so much. Forever and always."
And his lips met mine in a gentle kiss, and I knew this was forever.