Here we go again. I was watching an AkuRoku slideshow to a sad song when this little thing spawned in my head.
Dislaimer: Do the words fan and fiction put together mean anything to you?
I'm Roxas. You're probably thinking what are you doing narrating your own story, but my job is retelling events of past, more specifically my past.
It all started on that day, the day that I fought Axel in Twilight Town...
-
"Lets meet again, in the next life." Axel said to me.
I replied to that suggestion, but I guess that it was the wrong reply. "Yeah, I'll be waiting."
"Silly, just because you have a next life." He said as the darkness covered him, obscuring him from view and talking him with it.
It was when he left then that it finally hit me. It finally hit me that I might never see the one that I cherished ever again.
"Axel! Come back!" I yelled to no avail. I already knew that he was back in The World That Never Was. I just couldn't help but yell, not giving up that last shred of hope that he wasn't gone, that he was still here to hold me up when I fell, because I was falling, fast.
-
When I left that place, that cursed mansion, I saw Hayner Pence and Olette were waiting for me, always waiting for me.
"Roxas, what's wrong?" Olette asked, ever the observant one.
"Nothing" I replied, detached from the world. I just couldn't find myself to give much of a damn about anything besides Axel these days, now that I remembered him. Some say ignorance is bliss, I was starting to think they're right.
"Lets go home." Pence said in his calm voice, but whenever he said those words his voice seemed laced with happiness. I almost caught myself asking 'what home', but I stopped myself. I didn't want them to worry about me more then they had been the past few days. I always had to make them worry, just like Axel always worried about me.
"Great, now my inner voice is starting to think about him in circles." I caught myself saying before I could stop myself.
"Who?" Pence asked before Hayner could. He was always a fast talker, he could've made a great salesman.
"What?" I asked, forgetting what we were talking about.
"That guy you were just talking about, who is he?" He asked again.
"No one you would know." I replied, not wanting to reopen old wounds.
"Tell us man! I'm tired of you keeping secrets from us!" Hayner said, finally snapping under the tension.
"Fine," I caught myself snapping. "His name is Axel, he works for Organization XIII, where I met him and fell in love with him and now he has orders to KILL me!!!" I all but screamed.
"Roxas!" Olette gasped. "What are you talking about, I didn't know you were gay, and who is this Organization XIII?" She asked.
I ran off before I spilled my guts out to everyone, like a coward afraid of everything, not wanting to be shunned because they wouldn't believe me.
-
When I got home I started packing my book bag, not wanting to live in this town anymore, holding all of my memories of happiness, I just couldn't live with all of those happy memories surrounding me while I was in the deepest pit of despair.
Before I left, though, I went back to the Usual Spot and left my struggle champion belt, my blue gem, and Olette's munny purse with a note.
Then, as I stood up to leave, I shed one tear, one tear full of the sadness that filled me for leaving my friends like this.
Then I turned around and left, the only evidence that I was there were the items that I left for my friends and the single tear streak on my face.
-
I lived out my life like that, wandering around. I saw people from The Organization every now and then, usually having orders to kill me. It went like that until I heard of Axel death, or, I guess fading would be the best term for it.
That night I took a small pocket knife and slit my own wrists in despair, muttering only one final remark before I faded away myself. "Lets meet again in the next life, Axel"
-
I heard a loud bass line from the upstairs apartment. Finally, not being able to take it from the stress of remembering my past life and hearing my upstairs neighbor and, ever since remembering my past life about a year ago, I guess I could call him my ex lover.
Banging on the ceiling I yelled "Shut the hell up, some people are trying to get some sleep!" But, just like every night he didn't listen, turning the music up. After awhile it quieted down, leading me to guess that he turned off his stereo.
I was wrong again.
-
"Hey Roxie," Axel called out to me in the lobby. I almost cringed at the memories that returned to my mind from that nickname. "I had a great time last night."
"I heard." I replied.
Did I mention that he is also my best friend now... must have slipped my mind.
"Oh, you heard me? Sorry." Axel asked sheepishly, as usual, rubbing of the back of his head. What I would have done to be able to run my fingers through that beautiful red mane of hair, but I'm getting off topic.
"Yeah." I replied a little too solemnly for my liking.
"Sorry!" he whined. Then he kneeled down and started begging. "Will you please forgive me?!"
"I always do." I replied with a little half smile, putting my hand on top of his head and curling my fingers into his hair. I loved these moments, when it was just me and him and we were being almost intimate. I guessed it was the best I would ever get in this life, after all, I was lucky to even have another chance at having my own life.
"Say Roxas, you wanna come over later?" He asked, almost ruining the moment.
"Sure." I replied smiling. As he walked up the stairs I called to him, "See you later!"
-
When I got to his apartment later I saw that he had already had drank a couple of bottles out of his beer store, which he acquired thanks to his thanks to his fake ID.
"Want one?" He offered, holding out a bottle
For the first time in a long time I took it.
-
The next day I woke up on Axel's leather couch to the sound of the door knocking. "I got it!" Axel yelled. answering the door.
"Hi Axel." I heard one of our friends, Yuna, say. The next part of their exchange shook me though.
Axel pulled Yuna into his arms, replying "Good morning, love."
It would be wrong to say that I wasn't shocked, I was shocked beyond compare. I just got up, made some half assed excuse that I needed to go that I can't even remember, but I guess it was believable at the time and left, not wanting to see what their interactions together would be like.
-
Once I got to my apartment all I could think about was how torn up I was, both in the angry sense and the depressed sense.
Eventually my anger beat out my depressed sense and I started to tear everything apart.
"Why wont he notice me, why won't he want me close, why isn't he here, why, why, WHY?!?!?!" I screamed, starting to loose control like I did, and still do, on rare occasions.
After tearing up my living room I moved on to my bedroom. When I was throwing clothes out of my dresser I came across the one thing I shouldn't have even owned, a hand gun. During my fit of rage I was looking at the gun, and thinking I should just end my pitiful existence.
When I had the barrel up to my head and was about to pull the trigger I felt someone pull the gun away from my head and into their arms, throwing the gun across the room. Then I heard the person talk, but in my state or delirium I didn't try to place the voice, I just turned around and sobbed into their chest, pouring my guts out to a person that I hadn't even taken the time to check who it was.
When I was done telling my story to them, the person took my head by the chin and lifted it up, revealing themselves to be none other then Axel, the person that most of my rant was about. But instead of shoving me away and scorning me for liking him, or calling me a delirious fag, he pulled me into a hug.
"Its ok, I remember too." he cooed into my ear, running his fingers through my hair.
After I calmed down it was his turn to break down. "I thought I lost you forever Roxie." he said brokenly, starting to to cry into my shoulder. I just put my arms around him and listened, rubbing soothing curcles into his back. "I thought you would just call me crazy, I thought you would push me away and not remember, I just acted like I didn't remember."
It was my turn to act as a saving grace. "Shhhh, shhh, You're ok now. We're together again." After I paused for a few seconds I finished. "I love you."
At those words Axel started crying harder. "I-I love you t-too." He replied to me through what I thought, and a few minutes later my suspicions were proved accurate, were tears of joy. Then he pulled us together for a brief, slow, meaningful kiss, and the rest of that night is history.
-
"Roxas, what are you still doing awake?" Axel asked. I glanced over to the clock which read 2:19 AM.
"Finishing up an assignment." I replied to him. We both live in Axel's apartment now, not wanting to have to go up and down stairs all the time to see each other. Its a few years after the incident which brought us back together as a couple.
"Looked more like you were just staring off into space like that head full of air likes to do." He replied. "What were you thinking about?" He then asked, knowing just as well as I did that staring off into space meant deep thought on my part.
"Just how I have the hottest boyfriend in all of existence." I joked, pulling him down into a kiss.
"You wanna play rough Roxie?" Axel replied as he tackled me. "It gets tougher when you play with the big dogs!" He said before rolling around on the floor, beginning a wrestling match.
Yeah, life was normal, well normal as two former nobodies lives could get anyway...
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