Disclaimer: If I owned Criminal Minds, I wouldn't be writing fanfic about it.

Notes: Spoilers for 8x12 "Zugzwang".

1. Ethan - 1999

It was Spencer's eighteenth birthday. The first thing he did as a legal adult was rejoice in the fact that California allowed gambling three full years earlier than Nevada. He took some cash and drove to a card room. By the time he was finished, he had won enough money to pay for his mother's care for her first year at Bennington. He packed his bag and tossed it in his car for the trip to Las Vegas to take care of committing his mother.

He went back into his apartment to get a glass of water before hitting the road. He saw his roommate, Ethan, standing in the kitchen. Ethan said, "Happy Birthday."

Spencer started to cry. Ethan came over and pulled Spencer into a warm embrace. "Shh. It's going to be okay."

Spencer looked up at Ethan and gazed into his friendly eyes. They had flirted before, but neither one had made a move to go further because of Spencer's age. He pulled Ethan's lips to his and gave him a desperate kiss. Ethan said, "Are you sure about this?"

Reid kissed again, harder. "Yes. I need this."

They went to Ethan's bedroom, where Spencer tried to chase away his demons. After they were finished, Ethan fell asleep. Spencer got dressed and began his drive to Vegas.

As he was driving, he pondered that his first time was messy and a little painful. Just like his life.

2. Elle Greenaway - 2005

"You probably saved my life in there," Elle said gratefully.

Reid, uncomfortable with the heavy emotion of the scene, grinned and with levity said, "Probably? I totally saved your life in there. And I'm pretty sure it was caught on tape."

After the BAU rescued the passengers on the train, the team decided to stay the night in Texas before flying back to Quantico in the morning. Reid got settled in to his hotel room, and then he heard a knock on his door. He looked through the peephole and saw Elle standing there. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter.

Elle walked in and shut the door. With one swift movement, she pinned Reid against the wall and began kissing him. Reid was simultaneously aroused and confused. He gently pushed Elle away and said, "What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to get you in bed."

"Why?"

"Because I almost died today," Elle said.

"Elle, there's this thing called transference..."

Elle scowled. "Don't lecture me about psychology. I'm a profiler, too. I'm not trying to sleep with you because you saved my life. I'm trying to sleep with you because sex makes me feel alive."

"But why me?"

"Why not you? You're cute. Besides, I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."

Against his better judgment, Reid gave in to his carnal desires and said, "Okay."

When they returned to Virginia, they never spoke of it again.

3. Lila Archer - 2006

Spencer had been keeping in touch with Lila since they met the previous year on a case. They called each other a few times per week, but they hadn't seen each other since. At the end of another case in LA, Spencer decided to take a long weekend to stay in town. He called Lila and said, "I'm in town. Just finished up a case. Do you want to meet for dinner?"

"Sure. I would love to. Why don't you come over to my house. I'll cook something, and afterward we can go swimming. I'll even let you take your gun off first this time," Lila said.

"Great. See you this evening," Spencer said with a grin.

When he arrived at her mansion - he really couldn't call it just a house - he rang the doorbell with trepidation. Lila opened the door and said, "Spencer! It's great to see you. You look fantastic!"

Spencer said, "Thanks, Lila. So do you."

He handed her a bottle of wine and said, "Here. I brought this for you."

They chatted amiably during dinner, and afterward they headed into the backyard. "Have you ever been skinny dipping?" Lila asked.

"No."

"Well, there's a first time for everything. Let's do it!" Lila said.

Spencer blushed brightly. "But then you'll see me naked!"

Lila looked Spencer up and down and said, "That's kind of the idea."

Spencer was about to protest when he was rendered speechless by the sight of Lila stripping off her clothing and diving into the pool. He threw caution to the wind, removed his clothes, and joined her in the pool.

The next day, Spencer flew back to Virginia with a satisfied smile on his face. The next week, Lila called to say that she had just started dating her agent, so they should go back to being just friends.

4. Alex Blake - 2007

The first time it happened was in Alex's office at Georgetown. Spencer was taking a class in forensic linguistics, and he visited office hours to talk about the possibility of co-authoring an article. As they began discussing the nuances of language, their banter went from professional to flirty. It then went from flirty to racy. Before they had a chance to think about what a bad idea it was, they did it on her desk.

Spencer knew it was wrong to have that kind of relationship with his professor, even if he did have two more PhDs than she did. But he didn't care.

Throughout the rest of the semester, they met clandestinely at Alex's apartment whenever Spencer wasn't out of town for a case. He never stayed until morning.

After the final exam, Spencer knocked on Alex's door. She invited him in and gave him a glass of wine. They sipped the wine and then went to her bedroom. When it was over, Spencer started gathering his clothing to get dressed. Alex put her hand on his arm and said, "Please stay."

Spencer smiled and said, "Yes."

The next morning, he woke up with Alex in his arms. He felt her stir, and he smiled contentedly. Alex rolled over and said, "Good morning."

Spencer kissed her and said shyly, "Hi."

They got up and ate breakfast. When they were finished, Alex said, "Spencer, I've really enjoyed being with you, but we can't do this anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm getting married next week."

5. Emily Prentiss - 2011

The hearing regarding Ian Doyle's death was finished, and the entire BAU had been reinstated. Even Emily, who had faked her death, was back with the team. Reid didn't know what to do. He was elated that his dear friend wasn't dead. But he was angry and hurt that he had been lied to by people he trusted.

He heard a knock on his door. He looked and saw Emily standing on his front porch. He opened the door and invited her in. She took Reid's hand in hers and said, "I am so sorry for what we put you through."

"It's not your fault, Emily. I'm not mad at you. You weren't the one who lied to me. I'm just glad you're alive."

Emily brushed back a lock of Reid's hair and said, "Still, it hurts to know that I caused you pain."

"You're here now. That's what matters. Please don't ever leave me again without saying goodbye. Everyone leaves, and I never get to say goodbye," Reid said.

"I promise."

Reid said, "I didn't have a chance to tell you this before, but the reason that I was so broken up when I thought you were dead is because I thought I would never be able to tell you how much you mean to me."

Emily looked puzzled. Reid continued, "You never treated me like a freak or a weirdo. Right from day one, you treated me like a normal person. I really like that."

"You're one of the most wonderful people I know, Reid. Anyone who can't see that is missing out."

Reid leaned in and kissed Emily gently. He braced himself for rejection, but instead, he felt Emily kiss him back. He moved to take things further, but Emily said, "Not tonight. But soon."

Soon couldn't come fast enough, Reid thought.

They continued to spend time together, going to dinner or other events. He wasn't sure whether they were in a relationship or not. He decided to let Emily set the pace. She hadn't made any move to increase the physicality of their interactions.

Several months later, the night after Emily defused a bomb strapped to Will LaMontagne's chest, Reid heard a knock on his door. He saw Emily standing on his porch, and he had a sense of deja-vu. He invited her in, and she immediately kissed him hungrily.

She led him to his bed and said, "I want you."

The next morning, Emily said, "It's time for me to keep my promise. Clyde Easter offered me a position at Interpol. I'm leaving on Monday."

"Why?"

"Because it's not the same since I came back. I'm sorry, Reid. Goodbye."

Reid choked back a tear as he said, "Goodbye, Emily."

6. Maeve Donovan - 2012

It was official. For the first time in his life, Spencer Reid was in love. He was in love with the mind of a woman he had never met. Although he had never laid eyes on her, he knew that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Their phone calls and letters continued, and one day, Maeve said, "I want to meet you."

Spencer was thrilled but apprehensive. They made plans for dinner at a local restaurant. If everything went well, Spencer planned to take her back to his apartment and get to know her body as well as he knew her soul. He knew that when they came together, he would consider it to be his first time. He had given his body to others, but he had never given his heart.

Everything did not go well. Their dinner was preempted by the appearance of her stalker. Then, before they had a chance to reschedule, Maeve was kidnapped.

When Spencer finally did get to meet Maeve, the cruel twist of fate was that he had to lie to her. In order to save her, he had to tell her he didn't love her. It was the hardest lie he had ever had to tell.

When the bullet went through her skull and she dropped to the ground, Spencer could only stare in shock. After the initial surprise had passed, he ran over and cradled Maeve's lifeless body, touching his soulmate for the very first time.

He whispered in her ear while sobbing, "I love you."