Most people die only once, but of course, Sam and Dean could never have that luxury. How many nights had Sam sat up, wondering why his luck had to be so cruel, and not let him just die.
Well, many here lately.
With Dean gone, Bobby dead, and Kevin missing, he had no one but the "apple-pie life" Amelia. At least one person to stop him. Because Dean could be put there somewhere, fighting to stay alive. Dean could be back, looking him at this very moment.
But Sam was tired of looking, tired of fighting when there was nothing to fight for. Dean was missing, Bobby was dead. Why shouldn't he live to be normal like everyone else?
Oh, Sam knew the reason. Sam knew he should be fighting every damn leviathan out there to find Dean. But the truth? He was scared to find out that Dean was really dead.
Could he handle the truth? That Dean died, for the final time, screaming his name? Could he fight any longer when there was no one to fight for? Hell, he was barely winning the fight not to just end it all, to keep his eyes open.
He couldn't just leave the one person who made his life at least something, though he knew what he should be doing.
Sam wanted nothing more than Dean to just call, and tell him he was okay. If Dean could just come back one more time. It was all he wanted.
Of course, he had known this was not going to happen, and lost all his cell phones. Dean was not coming back, he was almost sure. He was alone with an "apple pie life".
He was trying to convince himself it was what he wanted.
Amelia was not all that bad. He could almost be happy around her. She was everything hunting wasn't, which was good, because she could keep him away from Dean. As long as she was still around.
Of course her dead husband being alive made this even more difficult than it should be.
Just when he was getting happy, Sam thought. Now Amelia had to make a choice, and if she chose Don- Sam would have to search for his brother. He had no other options. And Sam was not sure he could stay sane and do that, not finding out what really happened to his brother.
So when Amelia came to the living room one night, pale and nervous saying it was about his brother, Sam couldn't breath.
"Give me the phone." He said.
"He left a voicemail." Amelia said in a small voice.
Sam didn't even listen to the mail, but called the number back, thinking it was the morgue, a family friend, anything but-
"Sammy?"
"Dean?" Sam stood, before leaving the room and going outside. "Is it you?"
"Sammy, you okay?"
"Dean? You're-"
"Hey, I'm at Bobby's old place, Sammy. Come when you can?"
"Where were you?" Sam said, unable to stop the break in his voice. Dean was back.
"Purgatory." Dean said with an unamused chuckle. "I'll tell you everything when you get here. Come soon, Sammy. And turn your phones on."
And Dean hung up.
In retrospect, Sam should have bolted right at that moment. He should have gotten in that Impala and gone right for his brother, but he looked back at the house, and his apple pie life. He needed one more night with Amelia.
Okay, so I'm sorry if this doesn't follow Cannon exactly, but it was something I had to get down on paper and get posted. I used memory, and that is scary. Lol
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