The cemetery is an odd place for a picnic. It's not exactly everyone's forte to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches six feet above a decomposing corpse. The overcast wasn't exactly reassuring either. But to Eli and Clare, it was nirvana. That world full of life wasn't satisfactory for them. It was too fast-paced. The two teenagers desperately wanted to grasp on to a weed and never let go, hoping its roots were planted firmly in the soil. While the strong winds of life breeze by and try to capture the kids, their pale hands clutch the tough plant for dear life, which ironically is what they are trying to avoid.
Are they obsessed with death? Not exactly. But they understand how it feels to be dead. Both have suffered near-death experiences, one intentional and one not.
Eli was almost stabbed to death by an outraged bully, but miraculously survived since his almost murderer decided to plunge for the wall of the school's hallway during a dance. The whole fiasco was only to tantalize the green-eyed boy. Little did the bully know that he forever scarred the boy. Because at that moment, Eli was at a conflict. If killed, his soul would be carried off to another dimension where he would see an old friend. He would see his first love who would stare at him in anger, upset and hurt that he couldn't keep his promise to stay with her forever. Believe me, he tried, but sometimes obstacles feel like they haven't done enough damage to make people suffer, so why not kill the girl that someone was in love with? Everything in the universe was out to get him, but in the end, he was okay with it, because he believed he deserved it. He never smiles.
Who would expect Clare Edwards to feel that suffocating cloth that is death? Surely enough she was never in a car accident. But there is a time in this little belle's heart that tortured her. A time of insecurity, abuse, misguidance. The love of her life was hurting inside, and that only made her feel worthless. She felt guilty about how happy she was while Eli didn't see the light of the tunnel becoming visible. Everything was getting darker, and that darkness thickened and choked him, just like the blood that would occasionally spill from her pale wrists. One day she almost didn't make it.
Flashback:
Clare woke up in a cold room, and was blinded by its brightness. Her eyelids slightly fluttered, her pupils adjusting to the white walls. A machine on her side beeps at the rhythm of her heart. She was in a bed, but it wasn't hers. The sheets were ice cold. Wires circled her entire body and an IV is attached to her skin. She was alive, but felt so dead inside.
Then she was enveloped in someone's arms, the warmth all too familiar to her. The body that gently held hers shook with uncontrollable sobbing. The boy tried so hard to come up with words, which came out in pauses.
"Wh…wh..why, Clare? WHY?'' Eli asks, his emerald eyes filled with salty tears. He gently kisses her wrists, his lips quivering in fear. "Are you trying to kill yourself? Do you want to die?" More tears escaped. "Is..is this what you have wanted for so long?" he asked, so confused and scared. He couldn't believe his love almost died because of a cutting incident.
"Because I don't want you to be the only one sad," she replied, her blue eyes registering the hurt in her boyfriend's face. "You're always so sad. Okay? And I just sit here watching you lose all touch with reality. I felt dirty for letting this happen to you. I'd figure I release the evil I had in me. I wanted to feel pain that only I can control."
Eli gasped at her remark and slightly shook his head. "Don't….don't do it again. Okay? Please? This hurts me so much. Okay? You don't want to hurt me, do you?" Eli pleaded. He held a careful gaze at Clare, holding her hands which felt like heaven to him. "You're not evil, Clare. You cannot be evil, ever. You are perfect, an angel."
"But.-"she began to retaliate.
"No buts Clare. What I'm saying is true. You don't need to worry about me. Honestly, I'll be alright." She smiles weakly at him, and nods. She disagrees, but knows it's best for him.
End of Flashback
And here is Eli and Clare finding the solitude they yearned for at a cemetery. A subtle wind rattled the dry leaves that found their resting place on the cold ground. The two teenagers remain taciturn as Eli guides Clare to a tombstone buried in the center of the graveyard. The stone suffered through a couple winter storms, evident with the cracks etched into the tombstone.
The name on the tombstone is a name Eli hasn't spoken of in years, and that scared him. The memories he had with this girl who now lies in the ground because of a wreck less driver…no. That is not how he will remember Julia as. The Julia that was just as pessimistic as he was, but held that smirk that Eli ever so often wore. Two rebellious teenagers in love, two peas in a pod, but sometimes love is just never enough, and Eli and Julia realized that. Both weren't ready for a real relationship, and when it was about time, it was too late.
Clare places a rose at the bottom of the tombstone, a rose she grew in a special corner of her backyard. She always believed that this corner held magical powers, since every single flower she planted there grew into this mass of vibrant colors that outshone the rest of the backyard. Every plant that grew there always brought the best of luck.
But why would a dead girl need luck?
The rose was for Eli. Maybe Julia would forgive Eli, and just accept that Eli couldn't save her, and there was nothing he could have done. A sign from Julia that means somehow she can ease his pain just a little bit.
Once Clare placed the bright red rose that stood out against the black and white environment, tears developed in the corner of Eli's eyes. Clare gently dabbed his eyes with her sleeves, but felt it was almost useless. Eli fell to his knees, his head bent down, staring at the rose. He muttered to himself," this is hopeless, Clare. I'm worthless. I don't deserve forgiveness."
Clare fell down next to him and draped an arm over his shoulders for support. "Don't you dare say that, Eli. You are not worthless."
He shakes his head in disagreement. "I don't deserve happiness, Clare. Any sane person would see that." He continues to look down at the flower until Clare caressed his chin and brought his lips to hers. A gentle kiss settled the tears, but Eli's face still looked unsure as she pulled her face back.
"Then call me crazy, Elijah Goldsworthy, because I think you deserve all of the happiness in the world."
While facing towards the tombstone, Eli gazes at Julia's name and sighed. "And do you think she believes that?"
"Of course she does," Clare replies back, but even she isn't so sure of herself, but she has to keep strong for him.
"And how do you know that?" Eli speaks with uncertainty in his voice.
After that statement, the clouds began to split, increasing the amount of azure in the sky that seemingly matched Clare's eyes. Colors began to emerge in the graveyard. The grass that surrounded the tombstone slowly turned into a shade of green that complemented the eyes of Eli. The red rose didn't seem so out of place anymore.
He faces her, his expression slightly cheerful, his eyes wide, still confused about the change of mood in the atmosphere all of a sudden. Eli stares at Clare for more reassurance.
Clare smiles now with more confidence. "I just know."