Disclaimer: Done purely for enjoyment. Besides, I don't own anything that CBS would really want anyway.
Finally got up the courage to publish a story (it only took 5 years)!
A/N 1: Spoilers through season 6.
MAC's POV
Stella Bonasera, my partner and best friend, is the most expressive person I've ever met. I've known her for well over ten years and I amazed. How does someone who has faced so many challenges in life remain so open in expressing her feelings? She talks with her hands, she laughs with her eyes, even her riotous curls seem to converse with a kaleidoscope of colors from mahogany to golden brown.
Her generosity in expressing her feelings has made me, perforce, a lot more expressive. But there is so much more I want to say so much to her, but insecurity has kept me silent. Doubts shut me down. Fear has made taken my voice.
I find that even when she sighs, she expresses a range of feelings and emotions. A simple expulsion of a deep breath from her seems to speak volumes.
A sigh of aggravation over the bureaucracy of the NYPD
A sigh of relief on the top of the Statue of Liberty.
A sigh of sadness over the careless treatment of an 11 month old baby girl.
A sigh of excitement over a gift in a Tiffany box.
A sigh of exhaustion after catching a serial killer.
Over the past few months, I've found myself more in tuned to those expressions of feeling. I guess that happens when you're in love. Yeah, I'm in love with her. Have been for some time. Didn't admit it to myself until I was on a flight to Greece. Nearly five thousand miles, more than thirteen hours. Add to that the hours of worrying about her safety. I spent three days, a lot of money and even more energy totally focused on my beautiful partner. After Professor P's death, I held her in my arms as she cried and heard the sigh of resolve as she pulled herself together to speak to the Thessaloniki authorities. I heard the sigh of peace as she snuggled into shoulder and drifted off to sleep on the flight back to New York.
Understanding the language of Stella's sighs does have its drawbacks. I couldn't forget her sigh of despair when we heard that Angell did not survive her injuries. I couldn't ignore the sighs of frustration when I got engrossed in figuring out who committed the bar shooting, effectively closing myself off from her in the process.
But the most wonderful sounds I've ever heard were her sighs of pleasure when we made love tonight.
It started with a sigh of contentment after a great meal with colleagues, and good friends. That, after 2 days of chasing Thomas Eckhardt through the street and tunnels of Queens. The tension definitely went up a few notches when I got a sigh of annoyance after confronting her in my apartment over a few words overheard between her and Adam after dinner. I was saddened by her sigh of defeat before her confession of a one night stand with our resident genius. The situation got intense with her sigh of irritation at my lack of response to her confession. I was stunned by her sigh of longing when she revealed that Adam had just been a substitute for me. I was shamed by her sigh of disappointment as she picked up her bag and started to leave. Her sigh of happiness when I stopped her from leaving and told her I loved her was a balm for my soul.
Laying here with my arm tightening possessively around her, I give my own sigh of satisfaction. I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I'm an idiot, because I could have had this blessing in my arms a long time ago. But I'm gonna make up for the lost time as best I can. The holidays are coming, I'll use some of my banked vacation time and plan some stuff for us. I want to take her to home to Chicago and back to Greece next year. She likes the Jets; maybe I'll take Kevin O'Dea up on his standing offer for tickets. I wonder how she sighs when she's seated on the 50 yard line.
The End
A/N 2: Kevin O'Dea - NY Jets coach, former Chicago Bears coach, and a former Coast Guard Officer. Figured he would be someone Mac Taylor would know.