Annalise missed Isaac. Yep, just as easy as that, although it rarely happened.

Or not so. At least once a day. For ten minutes or so.

(All in all, it was two hours per day.)

She knew he got out of the hospital, so he could call her any minute and suggest meeting, but she was scared to make a call herself. Was it about his words about their last meeting or her own awkwardness, she couldn't figure out and didn't really want to. You could say she hoped he missed her, and would change his mind once, and…

His silence made her really nervous, and with all the work she was snowed under (a successful class action suit took its toll and brought lots of new other cases) pressed her heavily. Sometimes she felt lonely and bored — that's what she called idleness. And, what was the worst — she didn't want to work. Something was holding her back and needed to be solved quickly.

Isaac told her that loading herself with work is dangerous, but it was way worse when you had nothing to do completely or having so much to do that... But then, where was he now? «Isaac's trying to get better», she reminded herself, «and you're going to be stuck in the hospital, if you don't…» As it goes, she needed at least some kind of psychotherapy. That's how she got into AA once again — but, just like always, she didn't reach out to proverbial royal punctuality.

The familiar door didn't change a tad — and what could have happened to it anyway? Annalise went in quickly and shut it without a song, casting a look over the hall. Nobody noticed her, even the man on the pulpit who was standing with his back to her — it was a tall deep-chested man who was just going to introduce himself and start talking about himself. She wanted to go downstairs and take a vacant place while it was possible, but the man suddenly said who he was. That was Isaac. Annalise freezed in the spot, not brave enough to even make a step.

He seemed to have been self-confident again — his voice sounded calm and smooth. He was telling the same things she already knew well and then, suddenly, started talking about her.

— I've met a woman I couldn't resist. I'm afraid any kind of resistance was hopeless. Just like me, she was independent, and I wanted to help her. I did everything she would ask me to. I wanted her to be happy. She provoked some long-buried feelings and emotions of mine, so I was hesitating, because I knew that, as an addict, I couldn't allow myself that. But I couldn't refrain. She was my client, and, although I should have stayed professional, I just couldn't do it. This was more than human frame can bear. Of course she knew nothing about it, but she reached out to me too. I thought I had a chance, so I reached out back instead of hitting the breaks. And I still don't know who's to blame for it. Was it me, because I wasn't strong enough, or was it her, because she didn't know how addictive she was and how easy it is to swap her out for another drug after a stray thought of losing her? — He looked down for a moment, trying to pick himself up. Seven pairs of ears were hanging on his words, and seven pairs of eyes were blinking, craving for resumption. — I cared for her safety more than I cared for mine. I thought she would get herself into trouble, behave reckless and relapse sooner or later. I pressed her and didn't notice how I started being reckless myself. I was terribly worried about her, knowing that her relapse would mean me relapsing shortly after. All of you know how that happens, right? All of us, — seven heads nodded. — You meet a person and suddenly realize they are everything you want in your life. I knew it was wrong and that too much of emotions can break me. If she rejects me, that can break me. If I lose her, that can break me. I could have cut down our meetings, could give her up, but, instead of it, I've dived into this pool headfirst. It led me to a relapse and I blamed her for that, overreacting. I've hurt her, and…

— Have you made up? — an unwanted voice from the audience asked. Someone seemed to be really looking forward to the end. Isaac nodded.

— Of course, she… I ended up in a hospital after an overdose I summoned myself, so she came to me. She wasn't furious or anything, like she forgave me for everything I told her. Of course it couldn't be otherwise, as she… She knew everything, we're of one blood, both addicts. — The audience started nodding their heads, someone even smiled compassionately. — I know I don't deserve her. She can deal with everything that's happening to her, and it's a lot, and I was too weak for it. You might have heard her name and, if so, you would knew what I'm talking about, — he chuckled, — and what plethora of incidents had happened to her… even more than compared to me losing my daughter by my own fault. She bore more, and I dared blame her, hate her, neglect her. Neither I deserve her, nor her forgiveness and, surely, nor her love. I was still thinking I could die, because I knew how much drugs can affect me, and how easy it is for me to relapse. But I got out. I'm here, I'm not using for two weeks now, I'm attending therapy, and I'm on my way to being completely sober and starting a new life. That's the only way for me to be sure I deserve her time, her presence… and love, of course.

The seven rose, clapping their hands, but Annalise, chewing over his words, kept sitting on the steps. So that's what was it all about? He was just awaiting? Yes, she could have guessed it. By that time Isaac went down from the pulpit, and the same woman who asked him questions went closer and spoke to him loudly:

— I hope everything will be sorted out between you and this woman, — she said, taking Isaac's hand tenderly. He nodded, trying to look as polite as he could.

— Thank you. I'm not really sure how to act and behave, but I will when I'm ready.

— You surely will! You know, we always fall in love with those who are just like as, it's inevitable, and we have to hold on to these people, — she went ahead, beaming. Annalise, finally regaining her senses after concerning thoughts, started to walk down the stairs finally, — I'm sure it happened to you as well. The world is such a stinky place, we have to know how to keep a withering rose of love in our hearts alive… She will understand you, when you talk, mark my words.

— I know, — Isaac kept nodding, — still, I…

— Isn't she the happiest? — Annalise asked, emerging behind his back, and Isaac, puzzled — oh wait, not puzzled, shocked — turned back. She added: — Any woman should be happy when sacrifices are made for her.

Isaac closed his just-opened-out-of-astonishment mouth and choked into his fist. His interlocutrix, thankfully, didn't notice his embarrassment.

— Sorry, — she said, — but it feels as I haven't seen you here before. What's your name?

— Annalise Keating, — she answered, giving her new acquaintance a hand, — I haven't been here for a long time, because…

— I can show you what has changed since your last visit, — Isaac interjected, smiling solicitously and hooked his arm through. — Do you mind?

The woman, still charmed by his polite tone and delicacy, nodded sweetly and got back to her place. The six of the addicts, who were listening carefully until that moment, started discussing something enthusiastically, as Isaac, still holding Annalise's hand, led her away — to the «register counter». A squat bold man in glasses was sitting behind it, keeping record of everyone who came here and being broody most of the time.

— Before you ask anything, — Annalise whispered, — I swear, I'm not here because of you. I didn't even know you were here.

— Really? I hoped that you remembered how you wanted to go to the meetings with me, — Isaac shrugged. — Anyway, I'm glad to see you, Annalise. I really do.

She wasn't sure whether he was telling the truth, but his eyes were shining with genuine warmth. Besides, letting her hand go, he put his palm on her back and now softly pushed her towards the counter with the squat man — and a sign of affection like this was quite telling. He wouldn't allow himself do something like this before. The man lifted his head, examined Annalise quickly and asked strictly:

— You're here for the first time, aren't you?

— Back on track, I'd say, — she answered, but the man didn't get anything.

Annalise got her registration, and the meeting went on. Isaac was sitting next to her, not looking at her at all, behaving just like other therapy participants, listening to speakers and empathizing their feelings through projecting them on themselves, nodding, and, from time to time, broodingly inclining his head — not of boredom, but of overwhelming emotions. This meeting really meant a lot to him, and, probably, he knew the exact importance of «working on yourself»… and she couldn't get his words out of her head, disturbing herself, falling out from monologues and feeling out of place. Perhaps she's just used to personal sessions? She was replaying his words in her head, «I don't deserve her love», falling out to such extent where she didn't get how a speaker managed to get from talking about horses at his father's farm, to his school teacher who resembled a giant hiking pot. The woman who put so much attention to Isaac said so little, Annalise could only remember her name. It was Miriam.

When the meeting was over, Annalise went over to Isaac, demonstrating the best she could she was not going to let him go now that easily. During forty minutes among alcohol and drugs addicts she finally made some conclusions, and now she was dying of desire to actually care about him. Do at least something to make him feel better. It was partly her fault after all, if not completely. Not only has Isaac noticed it, but he also commented, barely have they left the building:

— I appreciate what you're doing for me. I mean it. I'm not sure if you ever needed it yourself, but…

— I have, — she nodded. — Trust me, I really have.

Isaac chuckled.

— Now what? Are we going to come here together every time?

— Of course. But, before that, I want to take you somewhere.

He frowned, inclining his head. Annalise took a deep breath. It's now or never, she thought.

— My parents are still waiting for me for a giant holiday in celebration of my win in Washington. There are going to be plenty of my relatives, but…

— And you want to invite me? — Isaac asked, clearly not believing what he heard. Annalise shrugged.

— I don't know. I love my relatives, but if it's going to be lots of them, I'm going nuts. I'll need my therapist, and you need some treatment after the hospital. It would do you good to breathe some air — good for health… don't look at me that way, it's possible they don't throw any party at all. You may not even need to talk!

— That means we both win? — he smiled fondly. Annalise nodded, smiling back — it was good to see him being this happy. — Of course. I'm in.

They reached a bus stop together, and Annalise briefed him on all cases, taken and won lately, even though her thoughts were far away — and Isaac saw that, even if he didn't show it. Of course she loved talking to him again; she loved that somebody else was listening to her again, and it wasn't Connor, Bonnie or little Christopher, who didn't understand a thing yet — but the hardest part was yet awaiting for them in future. She had to call her parents, tell them she's coming for a visit, that she's going to be with someone… she didn't like looking for words, choosing them, and an intrusive memory of how she did the same inviting Sam over didn't want to leave her alone. She recalled a room he was sleeping in, what they were talking about, what her Mom said, how Celestine joked and how her uncles and aunties found it obligatory to ask how much they are going to spend on a wedding reception…

— Don't you want to come over? — Isaac asked, when they were at a bus stop. — If you need to share something, tell me something, I'd be happy to take you in. I've missed our sessions, and you.

— I miss you too, — she nodded, — but I've got a lot of work to do.

— You're haven't changed a bit, have you? — he joked, softly striking her shoulder with a fist. It was such an awkward, such a weird but cute movement, Annalise laughed on how fast ice melt in their relationship. But, then, Isaac got on a bus, and all of a sudden she was alone, recalling long-ago-passed days again. Sam, Mother, Celestine… what has she just signed up for?

Of course she wasn't going to reveal all the details to her Mom. It wasn't urgent for her to know Isaac was her therapist with his own issues. Celestine knew everything, because Annalise called her a couple of days ago just to actually talk to someone. The talk turned out to be weird after all, but it was a matter of a fact: her sister knew, probably, a little bit more than she should have. She told Mother her friend needed support and fresh air, but didn't elaborate. Celestine will ask questions the exact moment Annalise enters the house — why rush then? She already saw the expression on her Mother's face: freakingly happy about her daughter coming to see them, and she saw her nodding, agreeing on seeing Isaac and even presenting him a guest room. Annalise preferred not to think on which one exactly.

At the end of the week, on Friday, even before the AA meeting that usually took place on Friday, Isaac and Annalise took off in the sky and were there right for an hour and a half. They barely talked, aside Annalise's warnings of her relatives' lunatic behavior, with Isaac answering: «You should've seen mine!», laughing and telling her stories of his own every now and then. They were usually stories about his mischiefs with his elder sisters taking the blame — Isaac could barely sit still, and it was way too hard to follow his movements. However delighted Annalise was while talking to him relaxedly about everything and nothing at the same time — as she always wanted — she was way too worried about what was waiting for her at home. Not that Isaac was reading her thoughts, but he didn't bother her with much talking, and Annalise was grateful for that. Just as usual, he didn't need words to understand her.

The way home after they got off the plane and got on a bus was as silent as the flight. Once in a way she pointed Isaac to familiar buildings, often flashing in her childhood memories, and told stories about it not very enthusiastically. Isaac was listening close, supporting the topic and sharing his own memories. Suddenly, Annalise thought she'd never seen him that sincere and open — this thought was a relief, but not for long. The house and long-awaited meeting with her parents — even though Annalise didn't see it that way — were already on the line. Isaac held her elbow softly and said:

— You got this. Come on.

— No need to encourage me. These are my parents.

— That's what I'm saying.

He put his hand on Annalise's back again, just like at time of the meeting, caringly pushing her further, and she made a couple of steps. She didn't tell Isaac she didn't elaborate on their relationship status to her parents, as she was still doubtful about it herself, but he, as it seemed, knew everything without a single word of explanation and didn't want to express his feelings straight, falling down to his knee right from the threshold and begging for her hand. Moreover, they were going to be here for a couple of days, which meant they had some time for talks without any worries, and, probably, they had some time for long-awaited explanations as well.

Isaac was still looking at her encouragingly, when Mother emerged in the door and unfolded her hands greetingly. In a hindsight Annalise noticed Isaac gripped by flowers, nearby houses' windows, clouds — in one word, being nervous — and thought how vain his words to her were, as he was so loaded himself.

— Oh, this must be the famous Isaac, — Mother said with a huge content, reaching her hands out to him. Father came to the door as well, and Annalise saw Celestine on the stairs — the sister warmly smiled at her. — Annalise told us so much about you! We will do whatever we can to help you, we have a gorgeous air here indeed. Mac, just look at him! Cool as a cucumber, and hasn't even spent here a darn minute! — Isaac was embarrassed by plethora of compliments, however deserved they were, but shook Father's hand and bore active expressions of favour from Mother.

Annalise herself stepped into the house, reaching out to her sister — she went downstairs, not eager to answer to the hug. Crossing her hands on her chest, Celestine critically examined Isaac from head to his toes, and, according to her face, was quite content with result. Thankfully, Isaac was too busy talking to Mother to notice it. Celestine whispered:

— Any time you bring a man here, he turns out to be even more handsome than the previous one. Where do you only get them?

— I always thought my Anna Mae will collect a whole bunch of handsome men, — Mother said with a sly smile, as if she heard her daughters talk. — White, black, everybody loves ya!

— You're exaggerating, — Annalise noted judgingly. However much she wanted to avoid awkward situations, it was way harder with her parents. Isaac seemed to be laughing at that. They have already entered the house, and Father closed the door.

— Why so? — Mother started counting on fingers. — First, Sam. White man he was, but so strong, noble and intelligent, right up your street. Nathaniel then, a black…

— Way more handsome than Sam was, if you ask me, — Celestine joked, and Mother nodded, bending second finger. Isaac glanced at Annalise with a question, but kept silence tactfully. She didn't mean to start their first real vacation together talking about exes, especially Sam who crossed her mind every now and then. It was inevitable surely, but, the less — the calmer her soul was.

— That's right, such a handsome black man, considering where they can end up… and where from people like my Anna Mae can get them! — Mother slapped Annalise's shoulder and smiled, turning to Isaac. — You must be very proud of her?

— Yeah, — he nodded quickly like he was happy to finally have a word, — especially considering her issues…

— If Sam is an issue, — Mother interrupted again, — this issues have been resolved a long ago. Right, Anna Mae?

Annalise shook his head, but Isaac was ready to go down the tube. Again. Though he was holding himself politely with her relatives, he smiled and such, his movements and words even showed some tension. Or, perhaps she made it all up hoping he shares her anxiety? His eyes, despite all of this, were still laughing, so, maybe, it was her who was nervous, and him, unexpectedly for her and, most certain, for himself, felt like home.

The Parents went on to show Isaac to his room, and Annalise went upstairs to hers. The most horrifying — to introduce Isaac to her relatives and avoid complicated talks about their relationship which were imminent — passed. Soon enough, though, Annalise saw it was the quiet before the storm.

— Tell me the truth now, or, I swear, I will deny you are my sister, — Celestine said, glancing into a room and ironically watching her sister admiring old pictures on the wall. She came in with a chuckle, and, as customs required, fall onto to the bed, contemplating the stained ceiling and shabby chandelier, looking fresh after the cleaning. — Are you two a thing?

— I think we're on our way, — Annalise shrugged. Neither was she used to intimacy with her sister, nor wanted to be too much of an introvert — moreover, she knew the cat would be out of the bag sooner or later.

— Don't think I'm against it, — she rushed to explain, — I can't judge you for dating a white man again. Frankly, I would judge you if you never even thought about it. He seems nice, even though we know him for barely ten minutes, but I felt some… — she put her finger to her chin and furrowed the brow. — Charisma? Or, is it right put, something that reminds me of you intrusively?

— So, that's where the sister love comes from, — Annalise chuckled, sitting on the bed next to Celestine. The sister hasn't changed a bit since they last saw each other — and, probably, she managed to stay the same for the last ten years. Even wrinkles, emerging so often because of smiling, didn't bother her. Perhaps, she just didn't smile that much and had some lack of happiness in her life? — Should we be worried about you?

— I thought about seeing a therapist as well. I might be lucky too.

— I can't beat it. But get ready for an enormous nerd — you can never tell.

— You made teddy bears out of two nerds. Mind to share a secret? — Annalise shrugged.

— I don't know the way he behaves around everybody else. I can't say how is it different to how he behaves when he's with me alone.

Suddenly, Celestine burst with laughter.

— I know this sounds silly in our age, but have you two…

— No, — Annalise shook his head. — Our relationship is quite… complicated. It doesn't develop that fast.

— Is it these stupid rules «I don't sleep with my patients»?

— Technically, he's not my therapist anymore.

— And not technically?

— He helps me. A lot. And I like talking to him.

— You know what bothers me the most? — Celestine said, straightening herself in front of her sister. — You took him here as your friend, not a partner, but you can't deny that's where it's all going?

— Neatly put, — Annalise answered, lifting her eyebrows. Her sister clapped her hands:

— So, why is he here then?

— He's just out of a hospital, he could do with some fresh air, — she answered decently. Celestine nodded, knowing she can't get anything from her sister now.

— So, it's a kind of a dual therapy? — she asked, inclining her head. — You're here with your therapist, official and non-official, so he's curing what he has to cure and, at the same time, curing himself too. Right?

— Right, — Annalise nod. It sounded way better than any explanation in her head.