The Reveal
September 28th 1914 – Over Siberia
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All characters, fabrications, walkers, tesla cannon and the like are the property of Scott Westerfield. No money is being made on this story and no copyright infringement is intended.
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This story is 'T' except for possibly one (non-swear) word in Chapter 2. I will put a special warning on that chapter. It is not necessary to read Chapter 2 in order to understand the rest of the story.
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A/N: Written Pre-Goliath
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As soon as Deryn closed the door behind them, Alek snatched his arm out of her hand and turned away from her. Looking around the former 'egg room', he asked in irritation, "Well, what did you have to tell me that is so important and private, Dylan?"
Normally, Deryn's temper would have risen to match his, but right now she was too terrified to get angry. Alek had become more distant over the past week, and Deryn didn't know why. He avoided her as much as he could and, when he couldn't, he would barely look at her. He wasn't rude or cold, and whatever the reason, it was clearly hurting him as much as it hurt her; but he wouldn't admit there was anything wrong, let alone tell her what.
The only thing Deryn could think of was that Count Volger had told him she was a girl. If that was it, she needed to explain; if it wasn't, well, she didn't think she could make things much worse by telling him.
"A secret," she told him hoarsely, "my last secret."
Alek spun around and stared at her in suspicion. "We are not supposed to have secrets anymore." He flushed suddenly.
Deryn hung her head. "Just the one. I know I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid it would spoil everything." She took a deep breath and looked into Alek's eyes. "Count Volger worked it out. Maybe he told you?"
Alek shook his head in confusion. Then he frowned. "Is this what Volger threatened you with?"
"Aye," she whispered.
Alek straightened and swelled with rage. "He will not threaten you again," he told her with a power and surety he had never shown before. "I will see to it he tells no one your secret." Deryn realized she was seeing, not the youth he had been, but the man he was becoming. It was rather intoxicating and Deryn almost missed next words.
"I won't even allow him to tell me. So," Alek ran his hand through his hair, slowly deflating, "you don't have to tell me either, if you don't wish to."
"Yes I do," Deryn said quickly, as he started to turn away again. Then, before she could change her mind, "I'm a girl."
As her words hung in the air, Deryn was suddenly certain she had just made a horrible mistake.
"What?" Alek asked blankly.
Too late to take her words back. Deryn swallowed and repeated, clearly, "I'm a girl."
She braced for his response, but not even her worst imaginings could match his ferocity. "That's not funny, Dylan!"
Now that she was committed, irritation got the better of her fear. "It's not meant to be, you dummkopf. I'm… A… Girl."
"Of course! The great Dylan Sharp – Destroyer of Walkers, Saver of Midshipmen, Seducer of Women, Overthrower of Sultans – is a girl. It is so obvious; how could I have missed it?"
Wait: Seducer of Women? But the rising tide of her anger, spurred on by his sarcasm, swept away such questions. "So that's it, is it? A girl couldn't possibly do those sorts of things, could she? All she could do is stay home and cook and breed up the next lot of bloody stupid Clankers!"
Alek wasn't listening. "I thought we were friends, at least. That even if you found out, you wouldn't make fun of me like this."
He stopped suddenly, and his face contorted into the strangest combination of hope and fear. Before Deryn could even begin to sort out what he was saying, he spoke again.
"Or is this some sort of code among homosexuals? Your role in… a coupling or something? If it is…" The fear overwhelmed the hope in his face and he took a step back. "I don't want to know."
Completely bewildered by now, Deryn cried out, "What do I have to do to prove it to you? Show you my diddies?"
Hope blossomed on Alek's face and Deryn rolled her eyes. Boys! She crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I'm not about to! I'm not that sort of girl."
The hope dimmed in Alek's eyes. "You're not any sort of girl." Alek sounded defeated and Deryn's eyes started to burn; she blinked back tears. She was almost ready to strip in front of him; anything to convince him. But she had been telling the truth: she wasn't that sort of girl. Maybe some day, if things went as she hoped (which looked pretty barking unlikely), but not now and not like this.
"What can I do," she pleaded, her voice rising to a pitch a boy would find hard to match. "Tell me."
"Swear to me," Alek responded instantly, with an intensity that took her aback, "on your hope of heaven; swear to me that you are a girl."
That seemed a squick extreme, but Deryn didn't hesitate. "I swear."
It was as if he was a marionette whose strings had been cut. He leaned back against the bulkhead and slid to the deck with a force that must have hurt his bum. His head dropped forward, hiding his face, and he did something Deryn had never seen him do before: he crossed himself.
"Gott sei dank. Gott sei dank. Gott sei dank. Gott…"
Well, that was easy enough to translate, but why was he thanking God with such fervor?
"Alek?"
"Couldn't you have told me sooner?" He wailed, more anguished than angry.
"I'm sorry. I know I should have told you in Istanbul, when you told me about the scroll. Are you very angry with me?"
He looked giddily up into her eyes. "I suspect I shall shortly be furious with you; but right now I am too grateful that I won't burn in hell for all eternity, to be angry with anyone."
"Why would you think such a daft thing, you ninny?"
He looked at her very seriously. "Lusting after another man is a mortal sin, Dylan."
"It's Deryn, not Dylan. My name, I mean."
He nodded, although she didn't think he was really listening. She stored away the bit about lust in a corner of her mind for now. Instead, she asked softly, "Do Clankers really believe that?"
He nodded again.
"Well that's just dead…" She stopped. This wasn't the time to argue religion. "If I had thought for a moment you were feeling like that, I'd have told you right away. You know that, don't you?"
This time he considered the matter, before finally nodding. His giddiness was passing and his anger was growing, Deryn judged. While he would still listen, she hurriedly explained. "It was just that you said, that night, when we were talking about Lilit…"
"I do not," he interrupted harshly, "want to talk about Lilit. I have something much more important to ask you."
Here it comes, she thought, and braced herself. Then he suddenly looked shy and self-conscious.
"May I kiss you?"
The silly Clanker. Deryn hoped he didn't expect her to answer with words.
However, Alek seemed perfectly satisfied with her response. So much so, in fact, that he completely forgot to be furious with her. In turn, she decided that the whole issue – of her being as common as dirt and him the heir to an empire – could wait.
And wondered if she might not be that sort of girl, after all.
