A/N: This is my very first fanfic, so don't get mad at me ok! I'm just testing out my username to see if it'll actually work! This is just a random story that came into my head I really don't know why I wrote it. Other than to test to see if it works, of course. FLAMES ACCEPTED! EVEN WELCOME! PLEASE FLAME ME! I enjoy getting what my mother would call "constructive criticism", but what I call "insults". You know the drill, R&R! thanks a ton! –hyper squirrel

hyper squirrel: Harry Potter was a very unusual boy. For one thing, he was deathly afraid of... the m word. You may be wondering just what this... m word... is. Harry prefers to call it... the m word. But I will call it by its true name, just to bug him.

Harry: you wouldn't dare.

hyper squirrel: watch me.

Harry: no! (plugs ears with fingers and says in a sing-song voice) I can't hear you! I can't hear you! I'm not listening...

Hyper squirrel: MARSHMALLOWS!

Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! How could you do this to me? You're so cruel, hyper squirrel! I want my mommy! Oh wait, that's right, I forgot. She's dead.

Hyper squirrel: indeed. Now one day, when Harry was walking down the street, he heard a strange squishing noise behind him. Now young Harry, trying to be brave, (as if) turned around fearlessly (ha) to see what it was that was making the squishing noise. He found it was... a marshmallow.

Harry: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!

Hyper squirrel: now it would be an understatement if I were to say he was scared. Lets just say his pants had to be washed when he got back to the dursleys house. (A/N: if you don't get that, he peed his pants.)

Harry: why must you embarrass me so?

Hyper squirrel: because its fun. Now, let me continue with the story or I will be forced to end your miserable existence. He fainted, the marshmallow turned into Albus Dumbledore, aka a cheerleader. He started shouting, "2 4 6 8 that's the way we umm. Something that rhymes with 8!" harry woke up, scared and was whisked away to hogwarts by dumbledore. The end.

Harry: that's not how it happened, and you know it.

Hyper squirrel: shaddup you pathetic excuse for a wizard. Avada kedavra!

Harry: …

A/N: so you like? Please review! I know my grammar is crap but im typing this really really fast so I can check if this thing works. I'll put up more crazy retarded hp stories later. K? thanks for reviewing and remember,

FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME. (bet you don't see that every day, huh?)