The Never Never
Chapter 1
Based on the Narrator played by Robbie Scotcher 25-30 May 2009, at the Hawth Crawley.
I do not own the Narrator or Blood Brothers. Some bits I have taken from a Rowan Atkinson sketch but otherwidse the idea and other characters are mine.
Enjoy !
I live forever in the shadows, condemned to walk the Earth in darkness. Never to love, never to laugh, the only one of my kind, my name is Sam Tan. I am the Narrator. This is my story, before Mickey Johnston and Edward Lyons. Before I became …… well, what I am, but hold on, I 'm getting ahead of myself, to tell my story we need to go back to the summer of 1948 when I was twenty five.
"Sam" my girl Jane whined into my ear "can't we do something else?" I took a long last drag of my cigarette and flicked it into the sand.
"What do you want to do then? I've already fucked you this week and you're no good for anything else"
"Yeah about that Sam, erm I think I'm pregnant
"What!" I exclaimed causing my mate Andrew to take in too much smoke and splutter
"so when's the weddin' then?" he asked with a massive smirk on his gob, he bloody loved that thought. Jane Bert, the women who finally got Sam Tan to commit. I looked out to sea. The sun was setting transforming the once blue sky, blood red. A lone magpie flew overhead. "There ain't gonna be a wedding" I mumbled.
This time it was Jane's turn to exclaim "what! But there's got to be a wedding Sam! I'm pregnant!"
"So what? Just because you're pregnant does not mean I have to marry a cunt like you. No fucking way!" I got up and wiped the sand from my trousers. Then I proceeded to my car. I could hear Jane coming up behind me screeching at yours truly. "But, but you've got to marry me! It's tradition!"
"Fuck tradition!" I shouted back getting in the car "move out of the way or I'll run you over." I started the car and reversed violently. "Get out of the way Jane!" I bellowed as I revved the engine. Suddenly I shot forward, all I could hear was Jane screaming, no pleading with me to stop. Something inside me broke and my foot slammed on the brake. I opened my closed eyes and noted that my car's bonnet was just centimetres away from her shaking legs. I let out a load chuckle at her facial expression; rabbit in the headlights sprang to mind. "Get in" I called from inside.
She obeyed me and I waved goodbye to Andrew and his girl and sped off. "Where are we going?" Jane inquired in a small voice.
"Home" I answered.
A while later Jane interrupted our silence "what shall we call him?" she gave a side glance but seeing I wasn't about to kick off he rambled on "I was thinking John or maybe Sam Jr for a boy, if we were gonna go with Sam we could call him Sammy to save us any confusion. What about Elizabeth for a girl? What do you thing Sam?" I grunted in reply as my eyes floated off the road and into the midnight black sky.
There was a full moon illuminating the sky like torchlight that night. It was one of those dark times when the Moon was devastatingly beautiful.
From the back of my mind I could hear Jane demanding my attention. "Sam? Hello? Talk to me, Sam? SAM!" The last call of my well worn name brought me back to Earth. "What the fuck to you want?!"
"I was just checking that you were awake"
"Well don't friggin' shout in my ear like that"
"Ok, I'm sorry" and we lapsed into silence once again until Jane screamed and pointed out with her finger "cat!" I saw the cat and I was just going to drive over it, after all it was only a cat but Jane reached over and violently twisted the steering wheel out of my hands. The car flipped over. And over. And over again, forever spinning into the impending darkness. The sound of Jane's screaming will never leave my subconscious. I never found out what happened when we stopped rolling.