The "What If's" and "Am I Ready's"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. All credit goes to Ryan Murphy and CP Coulter.

Summary: This is the sequel to "As You Turn Away," Will Julian ever be brave enough to tell Logan, and Will Logan ever be man enough to find Julian and tell me what his discovered.

Author's Note:Okay, some of the reviews asked if I could write a sequel, and make it a bit happier so this is the result of this. Longer Author's note at the bottom.

Part One: The Beginning.

Things had been different around Dalton; it was coming up to a year since Julian walked out of Dalton in the dead of the night. Derek had been in contact with Julian, the usual weekly phone call. Never did Julian ask about Logan, but Derek had tried to tell Julian everything that was happening. He would try occasionally to slip in some information on Logan but Julian would come up with some excuse to hurry off.

It was one of those usual days, where Derek sat at his desk, He was listening to Julian go on about his day. Derek sighed out loud without noticing it.

"D, what's wrong?" Julian stop midsentence about his manager to asked Derek.

"No Julian, and I know your just gonna make up some silly excuse but I'm worried about Logan," Derek said as he rubbed his neck.

"D, i...i don't know what I'm supposed to say," Julian said in an almost whisper.

"I just need to tell someone, okay. I'm just worried about him, it's like his not there anymore. I mean I don't fight with him about his pills or anything,"

"Well isn't that good, cause now he isn't as annoying," Julian said with a small fake laugh.

"No, at least I knew he was fighting for his right, but now his just like a ghost. He barely smiles anymore Julian. You know him more than me, I need some help J," Derek said as he spun around in his chair.

Derek heard Julian sigh and waited for his answer.

"Look D, is it maybe something to do with Kurt?" Julian asked.

"No, He hasn't tried to crack onto Kurt for at least 10 months. He's not fighting for solo's, he just sits in the common room looking out the window," Derek shook his head.

"D, I don't know. Could it be his dad?" he asked

"No, I already check all this," Derek shook his head. There was a knock at the door, and Derek yelled for the person to come in.

"Hey D, just need the English notes you took," Logan said in a monotone. "Thanks D,"

Julian heard that it was Logan and his heart stopped then broke because Julian had never heard Logan sound like that. Julian sighed and dropped his head against the table he was sitting at, as he mentally yelled at his self. It had been a full month since Julian had last thought of Logan.

"I've got to go, talk to you soon okay," Derek said as he stood up and tried to look for the notes that Logan was asking for.

"Yeah, D. Talk later," Julian, said as he hung up the phone and glanced at the day's schedule, he glanced over and pulled out his script and started to remember his lines.

New Year's Eve was coming around and Derek had dragged Logan to New York to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with his family. Of course the Tweedles were throwing their annual party. So there they were sitting at the party. Logan was sitting on the couch just watching the party around him. Derek was off chasing some girls.

Logan played with the edge of the cup, as someone sat next to him. His heart skipped a beat and he took a chance to look at the person, he saw Kurt smiling at him and his heart sank.

"Hey Logan," Kurt said as he continued smiling.

"Kurt," Logan said as he looked back at his cup.

"Have you talked to him," Kurt asked as he watched Logan, Logan's head shot up and looked at Kurt with a slightly confused look.

"What?"

"Have you talk to Julian?"

"No, he won't take any of my calls," Logan said with a small sigh

"Well why don't you go over there and talk to him," Kurt said as he looked across the room. Logan's head shot up and saw Julian standing there chatting with Bailey. Julian was laughing at something Bailey had just said, and Logan felt a bit of jealousy flow threw his veins and he stood up without saying another word to Kurt and stalked across the room. Derek watched Logan and saw a small smile appear on Derek's face. It all clicked, why Logan did not fight any more, why he always took his pills and why he did nothing but sit in the senior common rooms looking out the window. Logan had made his way to Julian as he finished talking to Bailey he turned to see Logan stalking over to him.

"Logan!" Julian said more excited than he wanted to let on.

"So you're talking to me now!" Logan said angrily. Logan didn't know why he was suddenly feeling anything. He had been on his medicines for the past 9 months but deep down inside he always knew Julian made him feel even on his pills.

"Logan, I was busy and I know that's not an excuse..." Julian started

"That's bullshit, Julian and you know it, I called you over 200 times, I text you at least 1000 times, and not a word from you. But yet you and Derek always talk!" Logan said as he voiced started to get louder.

"Because at least I know he cares about me!" Julian yelled back, he did not want to start fighting with Logan. He came here to see if he could help Logan in any way.

"I care, you and Derek are the only family I have and I care about the both of you," Logan said as he shook his head. His heart broke as he stood in front of Julian. Now that Logan was slowly calming down, he got a chance to look at Julian. It hit him like a ton of bricks how much he missed his best friend. Even now yelling at him, Logan couldn't help but think Julian couldn't be more beautiful, and then Logan's inner voice kicked in, 'His straight you idiot, and your best friend,'.

Julian watched as 10 different emotions flashed over Logan's face. Some he could name some, anger, disappointment, happiness and some other emotions that flashed across his face before he could see them.

"I need to go see Derek, he has my pills. I need to take them," Logan said as he turned to walk away. Julian watched as he walked away. Julian had never seen Logan look so down. Even after all of his failed relationships and the fights he had with his father, Logan never looked like that. Suddenly a hand appeared on his shoulder and Julian looked to see Kurt.

"Can we talk?" Kurt asked, Julian just nodded and followed Kurt out onto the balcony.

Kurt sat down on one of the seats. Julian sat across from Kurt.

"So I guess that's the first time you talked to Logan since your disappearance," Kurt said as he watched Julian.

"Yes it was," Julian, answered as he played with his hands.

"So you have no clue what's been happening with him?" Kurt asked with a small smile.

"No, Derek has tried to tell me but I didn't know it was that bad," Julian said as he glanced up at Kurt for a second before looking down again.

"He is much better tonight," Kurt said

"How much better cause he doesn't look like the Logan I left," Julian said as he cradle his head in his hands.

"At least he had emotions. When his at Dalton he just wonders around, never smiling or even frowning at anyone," Kurt said as he watched Julian. "I heard that he barely sleeps any more, he just sits in the senior common rooms and just stare out the windows."

"I'm sorry," Julian, mumbled it to himself.

"Why?" Kurt asked as he moved forward in his seat.

"Cause maybe if I hadn't left I would have notice that something was annoying him, I could have helped him. It might not have gotten this bad," Julian said as he looked up at Kurt.

"Maybe it would have never happened if you didn't leave," Kurt countered answer.

"What?" Julian asked with a confused look.

"Look, when you left Logan was still chasing after me," Kurt started.

"Oh don't I know it,"

Kurt threw a 'Please-be-quiet-I'm-telling-you-my-side-of-the-story' look. Julian threw his hands up defensively as if he was telling Kurt he would not interrupt again.

"Like I said he was chasing after me, but after 2 months later he just stopped. Like the penny finally dropped and he understood I was not going to leave Blaine for him. But that's when he started to take his pills. He would just walk around school. Go to every class on time, never compete for solos or anything. He was happy just swaying in the background. The warblers started to get worried about him. It was like he was waiting for someone." Kurt said watching Julian very closely. When Julian did not say a word, he was staring off into the night sky, Kurt continued. "You know I heard that from the senior common rooms in Stuart you can see the front gates, if I was waiting for someone I would sit there and have my head out of the window too."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it," Julian stood up and walked back inside.

As he walked through the party, someone yelled over the loud speak, "2 minutes till midnight. Make sure you've got that someone close!" Suddenly a hand grabbed him and he saw Derek standing there. "Are you leaving already?" he asked.

"I've got to go, I need to go," Julian said as he tried to pull his arm free.

"At least say goodbye to him," Derek pleaded. "please, just don't disappear like you normally do,"

"I can't," Julian said as he finally pulled his arm out of Derek's grip.

"10, 9, 8, 7" The whole crowd was counting down. "6, 5, 4," the crowd continued to count, everyone was grabbing people left right and centre. "3, 2, 1!' the lights went out and everybody yelled "HAPPY NEW YEAR," suddenly someone grabbed Julian pulling him close to them.

Lips appeared on his lips, a hand wrapped around his waist and pulled him towards the person. The lips moved against him, and Julian lost himself in the lips and the hands and all the touches. Something about this experience was like coming home to him. It felt so right, that Julian forgot about everybody else in the room and placed his hands at the back of the person's neck. Just losing himself in the moment. Soon the lights turned on again and everybody cheered. Julian opened his closed eyes, as he pulled away from the person, to find that the person that had kissed him was none other than John Logan Wright III.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note:

So this is gonna be a three-part series. As the name suggests there will be songs in here. But will start in the next part.

Reviews will be helpful to tell me if you like this little idea.