I've been stewing over this idea ever since I played the first Mass Effect, and I finally decided to act on it. I fell absolutely in love with Nihlus' character, so I've decided to explore a few elements of his past that were left to the imagination. Nihlus and Mass Effect belong to Bioware. The only product of my own twisted imagination is my OC. This is the first fic I've posted. Hopefully, it's not a train wreck.

Most days, Shepard considered the vastness of the Citadel's ward arms an annoyance. Today was not one of those days. The longer she took, the longer she could put this off. She hated being the bearer of bad news. Especially the kind she was about to deliver, but she could only pretend to be lost for so long. Sure, she could have let someone else play the messenger, but Nihlus had been part of her team, however brief a time it had been. This woman deserved to hear it from Shepard herself. She looked at the name again.

Flight Lieutenant Nebula Carlisle. Eight years of service in the Alliance. Served as helmsman aboard the SSV Cairo and the SSS Iwo Jima. Shepard hadn't heard of her. In all honesty, it didn't help much. It didn't stop the knots from forming in her stomach as she approached the woman's apartment, didn't stop the swell of guilt that wrenched her gut as she knocked on the door. Nothing could make this better. Nothing could make telling this faceless woman that her lover was dead okay.

She knocked softly and was greeted with a surprise. Lieutenant Carlisle wasn't exactly what Shepard had expected. Perhaps her name should have been a clue. Her years of service in the Alliance should have been a dead give away, but the last thing Shepard expected when the door opened was to be staring into the intense hazel eyes of a small human woman.

"Can I help you?" she asked, snapping Shepard out of her daze.

"Lieutenant Carlisle?" he asked. The woman nodded, brushing her brown curls away from her face. Shepard sighed. "You knew Nihlus Kryik?"

Nebula nodded again, motioning for the commander to come inside. "Not to be rude Commander, but what's this all about. Nihlus rarely worked alongside the Alliance, and I was discharged two years ago. Forgive my suspicion, but it's a little odd that you should show up at my door inquiring about a turian. Why are you here?" she asked. Shepard hung her head. "Nihlus was sent by the Council to accompany my team on the SSV Normandy's shakedown run." she began. Nebula scoffed. "The Council doesn't send a Spectre for an Alliance shakedown. Shepard nodded. "You're right. It wasn't just a shakedown. The Alliance had recovered a Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. The council sent Nihlus to help secure a pick up. The place was overrun with geth by the time we landed. Nihlus went to scout ahead, and we lost contact with him soon after."

A wave of understanding hit Neblua, and a lump formed in her throat. She knew why the Commander was here. A silent tear slid down her cheek. Shepard laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant. I know Nihlus meant a great deal to you."

Nebula shook her head as another tear slid down her cheek. She pulled the collar of her shirt aside, revealing a neat circle of scars. Bite marks.

"He was my bond mate Commander. I had promised him my life. And my love." she said. Her voice was quiet, fighting off the tidal wave of emotions that plagued her. She wouldn't break down. Not now. A tiny voice pulled her attention to the other side of the room.

"Nebula, are you okay?" A young turian stood in the threshold of the door. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and nodded. She waved the boy over. She gave him a quick peck on one of his mandibles. "Commander Shepard and I are just talking kid." she said. "What are you talking about?" he asked, eyeing her curiously. Shepard smiled weakly. Persistent kid. Nebula pulled the boy onto her lap. "Do me a big favor, Korin. Go back to your room and play until the Commander and I are done talking. After that, I'll tell you everything. I promise."

Korin knitted his brow plates together in frustration, but nodded and hopped off Nebula's lap, retreating to his room. Nebula's smile as she watched him go turned to a bitter frown. Korin and Nihlus had been close. She dreaded having to tell the boy of Nihlus' death. The thought made her sick to her stomach all over again. Shepard looked at her sympathetically. She activated her omni-tool, transferring a file to Nebula's. "We found this vid archived on Nihlus' omni-tool. It's obvious it was meant for you." she said, laying a comforting hand on Nebula's shoulder. Nebula nodded weakly. "Thank you, Commander." she said. She accompanied Shepard to the door. As Shepard stepped over the threshold, Nebula stopped her.

"One last question, Commander."

Shepard nodded. "Ask away, Lieutenant."

"How did he die. What happened?"

Shepard sighed. It was an ugly truth, one she had hoped she wouldn't have to reveal. "He was murdered by a rogue Spectre. A friend of his. Nihlus let down his guard and was shot in the back of the head."

"Which Spectre?" Nebula inquired. Shepard was silent for a moment before she replied, "Saren Aterius."

Nebula's expression darkened. She nodded curtly. "Thank you, Commander." she said, shutting the door behind her. Shepard stared confused at the closed door. So Lieutenant Carlisle knew Saren. Or at least knew of him. Might be worth looking into a little later.

Inside, Nebula leaned against the door. She activated her omni-tool and downloaded the file Shepard had given her. Nihlus' image flickered into view. His mandibles twitched nervously.

"Spirits, I really don't want to make this vid. It would be so much easier to pretend I'll always come home to you. You know I'll fight every day to do that, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you this one last time. I love you, Nebula. My mate You're strong, smart, and beautiful, and it's been an honor to have known you. These past years with you have been the best I could have asked for. If someone had told me eight years ago that I would end up taking a human as my mate, I wouldn't have believed them. You've taught me so much. Not just about humans, but about... well, everything. People don't understand why I chose you. You are human after all. They don't understand that I don't see human when I look at you. You're just Nebula. There's more to you than your human body. I hadn't understood that before I met you. I didn't care one way or the other about humans before. You've shown me how much potential your people have. I don't expect every human to start taking in orphaned turians, but maybe they aren't as bad as we were once led to believe."

He paused for a moment, mandibles spreading slightly. The turian equivalent of a smile.

"You did good by Korin, Neb. Not many people would have done what you've done for him. Hell, even most turians wouldn't have taken him in, let alone given him a family. I know you'll take care of him. I don't even have to ask that. It probably won't be long before he's taking care of you. He's stronger than I am. Smarter than you. He has a promising future. Make sure he knows that. And make sure he knows that even though we don't share DNA, we're still his family." He chuckled. "I guess I got attached to the kid. I really do look at him as a son. Tell him I love him, and that I'm sorry I won't be around anymore. I'm sorry to you too. We've been a tag team for so long, I know how hard it's going to be. I can only imagine how I would take it if this situation had been reversed. Me at home and you not coming back." He paused again, shaking his head. "I guess it doesn't really matter now. I love you, Neb. You and Korin both. Promise me you'll take care of each other."

As the image flickered out of view, Nebula deactivated her omni-tool and sighed heavily. She made her way down the hall to Korin's room. His back was to her as she approached, engrossed in a small picture book Nihlus had given him. She smiled as she watched him. He looked up at her curiously as she settled herself on the bed beside him and drew him into a tight embrace. "What did that woman want to talk to you about?" he asked. Nebula smiled weakly. "She wanted to talk to me about Nihlus." she said. Korin's eyes lit up with excitement. "Is he coming home soon?" he asked. Nebula shook her head. "Oh." The boy hung his head, disappointed. A moment later, he looked up at her again. "When is he coming back?" A tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek. She pulled Korin onto her lap and hugged him close, resting her chin on top of his head. "I'm afraid he's not coming back baby." she said quietly.

Korin wasn't stupid. He knew what it meant, and tears filled his eyes. He buried his face in the material of her shirt, his small body shaking as he cried, and Nebula held him close. She lifted his head to look her in the eyes. "He wouldn't have left you if he could help it, Korin. Nihlus loved you." she said. The boy nodded. Nebula smiled and wiped away the tears rolling down his face. "And I love you too. We're a family kid." She planted a soft kiss on one of his mandibles. They were silent for a long moment before Nebula spoke again. "You want me to play a song for you?" she asked. Korin nodded and nestled himself into his pillows as Nebula left the room. She returned a moment later, a worn acoustic guitar in tow. She gave Korin a soft smile as she began to play.

A boy with a coin he found in the weeds
With bullets and pages of trade magazines
Close to a car that flipped on the turn
When God left the ground to circle the world

A girl with a bird she found in the snow
Then flew up her gown and that's how she knows
If God made her eyes for crying at birth
Then left the ground to circle the earth

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish he tossed in the sea
Walked to a town that all of us burn
When God left the ground to circle the world*

Korin's eyes closed, and he drifted to sleep as she finished playing. Nebula stroked the side of his face, then exited the room as quietly as she could. She made her way to the living room where she curled up on the couch and allowed her mind to run amok with questions. Saren had the geth under his control. What did that mean for the galaxy? What the hell was he up to? Even more perplexing, why the fuck did he kill Nihlus? She knew Saren had been Nihlus' mentor before he became a Spectre. She knew Nihlus had greatly looked up to and respected the older turian. Saw him as a father-figure almost. From what little she had seen of Saren, it had seemed to her that he had harbored the same affection for his student. Had things gone so wrong between them? Or was it bigger than that?

Questions, questions. Always questions, every one without an answer. Nebula hated not having the answers.

*The song used here is Boy With a Coin by Iron and Wine

So ends the first chapter of my first fic. From here, I'm rewinding to when Nebula and Nihlus met and exploring their relationship as time moves on. If you liked what you read, please review. If you think there are things I could improve upon, tell me. Constructive criticism and helpful tips will be appreciated. In any case, I thank you for reading.