Hello, my name is Ashley Vu, don't even ask what that means in Vietnamese! Anyway, you my be wondering why I am talking to you, well you know what, I'm fun to talk to! Anyway again, you have landed on this webcast because I'm going to tell you about the time. I. Went. To. HOGWARTS! Yeah, you heard me, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry beyotch! Oh, sorry… foul language! Professor McGee would not stand for that. You know what, I wont spoil it, I wont reveal anything, and I wont tell you how to turn a watch into a whistle and have it sing you the time. You'll just have to wait until that part in my adventure comes. Okay… where to start… Oh, okay, I'll start with the time I got my acceptance letter.

One night, my birthday to be specific, I was on Craigslist… whatever, I was searching the internet when I got a message on Facebook. It was a long message! Like, it took me a whole minute to read! Here is what it said.

Dear Witch or Wizard,

I, Professor Dumbledore, am here to welcome you to the totally exclusive, totally awesome, totally magic, totally party-hard style, and totally sexy school of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Here you learn how to make people do what you say! Uh… no, no, no that's wrong. Sorry, I'm writing with a typewriter so now backspace! I wish there was a spell for typing… Oh no, I've gone off topic. Anyway, you come to this school because you learn to be a witch or wizard, in your case a witch because you're female! Keep in mind that you can bring a pet, and no, a house elf is not a pet! You can bring a hippogriff, pixie, acromantula (baby one! Please), or an owl (if you want to be boring an muggle-like.) Muggles are what we call people like Paris Hilton or Tasha Malek, you know, no one really likes them. You can purchase your wand at "Ollie Ollie Ollie's Magical Stick Store!" Have fun, and if you need to message me just email me at .com.

The explosion in my room from screaming after I read that message, I wont even get into. Basically, I was excited. Why wouldn't I be? I just found out I can bring a pet to school! Oh, and I was a witch!

My first instinct was to twitter it but… I decided to call three people who I knew would be as excited as me. I called my friends Katie, Nga, and Trisha, who, believe it or not, are witches too. They got their emails like two weeks before me and I was more jealous than Heidi Montag finding out that Audrina got more botox than her… So anyway, I don't want to get into full detail, but they were just as excited as me because now we were all going to Hogwarts together! Vampire Diaries was one but I just decided to research Hogwarts more and more.

After a few days, my things were packed and ready for shipping. The first thing I had to do though was get my wand. I emailed Dumbledore asking him where "Ollie Ollie Ollie's Magical Stick Store" was, and he told me it was in Begone Alleyway, right next to Bjorn and Burkeys, a dark forbidden store.

I met up with Nga the next day to go with her to Begone Alleyway. She is the only one of us who has a floo network in her home and so I decided to give it a try.

"I only really like using the floo network because the flames come up and I get a tan." said Nga to me as she got in the little chimney box. Nga is addicted to tanning…

"Yo, Ashley, give me some of that magic sand in that little pot." she said reaching out a hand.

I looked behind me and found an ornate pot decorated with ancient drawings from the fifteenth century with gash and burn marks on the side… Nga uses the floo network a lot of times apparently. I handed the pot to her and she grabbed a handful of sand

"Come one, get in." she called.

"What? Oh, okay." I said reluctantly and entered with her, coughing from the smoke and dust around me.

"Take it away." she sang, "Just say Begone Alleyway and drop the sand to the ground and we will be there; no you have to be very clear and recite your words loudly."

That seemed easy enough, but I was nervous. I took the sand from her hand and held it out away from my body and got ready. I took a deep breath and said it as quickly as I could and dropped the sand. I said the word so quickly, that it sounded like one word. I knew I had done it wrong before I the sand even reached the ground.

"Begonealleywway!" I said loudly and quickly. Nga looked at me with a worried look, and before I knew it, green flames engulfed the both of us. But they were not hot, they were actually kind of cool and breezy.

After a few seconds, the flames were gone and the both of us were in a dusty, rickety store. We looked around and saw many mysteriously macabre items. A severed hand, a jar of skulls, a necklace said to have killed people, and a "petrified and preserved inferi." Yikes, was this Begone Alleyway? We stood up and looked at each other confused.

"I didn't know that Begone Alleyway remodeled." she said disoriented, "I think they're going for a darker image, but I don't like it."

"No, I think I might have said it wrong." I said in a worried tone, "According to Dumbledore, this place is supposed to be fun and happy with bottles of wizard whiskey on the shelves. This has… creepy stuff. It looks like what you would find inside the head of Kristen Stewart."

"I know what you mean, but since we're here, lets look around." said Nga, now the worry was gone from her face. She strolled around and came to the severed hand. She placed her hand inside and… SMACK! The hand closed down on hers tightly.

"Whoa, hey, this is cool!" she said happily, "It's so tight too."

"Nga, I don't think that's safe, get your hand out of there." I said, now even more worried, and tried to pull her away. The hand loosened its grip and I tugged harder, soon it let go all together. We fell to the ground and looked at a sing on the roof.

BJORN and BURKEYS:

The stuff you freaks want.

"Oh no! We're in Bjorn and Burkeys! Lets get out of here!" said Nga, the worry seeming to quickly come back. She pulled me up and we both darted outside to find ourselves in an alleyway, and not Begone.

The place was old and the walls were made of cobble stone, it was a creepy alleyway. I was trying to find a place out when I saw a poster on one of the walls that caught my eye. It had a mug shot of a woman… or was it a man? Anyway, he/she was very evil looking. The poster said:

WANTED

Isabellatrix Swanstrange

Convicted for murder, torture, and succubus-like acts.

The notorious corpse feaster has escaped Azkaban. She escaped with the help of her fellow corpse eaters… Who, also escaped… Obviously, her whereabouts are unknown, but are team of aurors are searching high and low to find her, mostly high because, well… she grew wings out of nowhere. We're trying to find her, believe us. We didn't alert the muggle president, but we did alert the muggle prime minister here. We didn't alert Bush because we want to see what she will do to him. Wait, is Bush still president? If not, we need to alert whoever the muggle president immediately because of the danger she possesses.

"Wow, she sounds dangerous. Who is she?" I asked a little frightened.

"I don't know, I don't focus on wizard news." she said exhaustedly.

We found our ways to Begone Alleyway, and what do you know, it really was a fun place. There were magic brooms, owls, pixies, other wizards and witches, and more. The shelves were full of wizard whiskey just like Dumbledore said in his email, but only seventh years could drink it because it caused wild hallucinations and high sex-drive. So after looking at everything, we found "Ollie Ollie Ollie's Magical Stick Shop." We went inside and found an old man sitting on the counter… yeah, ON the counter.

"Hello, young ladies, what can I get you." said the old man slowly.

"Well uh, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, a drink… What the hell do you think we want?" said Nga sarcastically, "We want our wands."

"Uh… Okay, I'll be right back with an assortment of wands." he said slower, his tone indicated that he was obviously disoriented and frightened.

"Dumbass." she said rolling her eyes.

He came back with many boxes and dropped them onto the counter and said, "Choose your destiny."

Nga grabbed a box and took out a wand. It was about fourteen inches long and had carvings that resembled vines and leaves. It was light brown and the tip was a brown that was in a shade of green. She held it tightly and pointed it at the old man.

"What are you doing?" he asked hiding under the counter.

"Testing it out." she said maliciously, "Let me try a spell I read about, uh… Oh yeah. Reducto!" She said the spell loudly and clearly and a bright beam of light ignited from the wand and flew in every direction, hitting the shelves, knocking boxes over, making flower pots explode, etc.

"That's obviously not your wand!" yelled the old man loudly with a raspy voice. He was now holding his hands over his head, "Grab another wand!"

Nga set down the wand and pulled out another. This one was black and had a sinister looking hook to it. She repeated the spell… Still aiming at him. But this time, the spell shot out in an explosion, causing Nga to fall back.

"Not yours!" he said loudly.

This time, she picked out a brown wand with a spiral at the tip, making it look much like a unicorn horn. She repeated the spell and this time, the light shot out cleanly and caused the counter to explode (which is what the spell is supposed to do.)

"It's yours! It's yours! Take it and get out!" he said screaming.

Nga smiled and skipped out the store, waving her wand as she went.

"Your turn, I presume." he said, now rising from behind the table.

"Yeah."

I had the same process as Nga, except I didn't make that many things explode so it was cool. The wand that was finally mine was beautiful, I loved it.

"I see, unicorn hair!" he said laughing quietly, "Noble indeed. Very unyielding."

"Thank you for the wand." I said and ran outside.

"You scared him." I said laughing as I walked out.

"Yeah, I did, didn't?" she answered smiling.