Uchiha Nightingale
I.
RING! RING!
"Ummm, Sakura-chan" Naruto's timid voice was heard through the line.
"What Naruto?" Sakura asked annoyed.
"Sasuke's drunk—"
"AGAIN?" Sakura screeched.
"Yeah but that's not the only thing," Naruto said.
"What else happened?" Sakura questioned, her coral eyebrows quirking upwards.
"Sasuke is also singing 'Wannabe' by Spice Girls out loud in the middle of the street — Sakura-chan I need your help! Here I'll let you hear him."
"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends—"
"Good god, he's not naked again as well, is he?"
"Thankfully no! But Sakura-chan what should I tell Sasuke right now?"
"UGH! TELL SASU-CHAN THE NEXT TIME HE DECIDES TO GET TIPSY OUR MARRIAGE IS THROUGH!" Sakura fumed.
"Sakura-chan, I…"
"WHAT! SPEAK UP IDIOT!"
"Okay—gulp—Should I bring him home now?"
Sakura smacked her particular wide forehead.
"YES YOU DUMB CRACKHEAD!"
"Sakura-chan, now your scaring me…"
"AM I?"
"Yes…U-Uhhhmm, I mean no."
"YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT! NOW TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU AND THE DRUNKEN BASTARD ARE AT?"
"The bar close to Ichiraku."
"STAND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BAR AND YOU BETTER HAVE SASUKE WITH YOU OR I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO HAVE BABIES IN THE FUTURE! AM I CLEAR NARUTO?"
"Yes Sakura-chan, I hear you—gulp—Please come here—gulp—quickly before Sasuke does something—gulp—even more stupid."
"What more can he do?"
"Strip-tease for a couple of gi—"
SLAM!
"Hello…Sakura-chan, where are you at? SAKURA-CHAN! Damn, she hanged up on me."
II.
A girl with shoulder-length pink hair and shining emerald eyes walked to the bar near Ichiraku Ramen in search of her drunken husband. She wore a thin brown coat and long black tights underneath. The weather was slightly chilly since it is almost midnight, so the coat helped greatly because her red tank top she wore underneath was from a soft material and gave her arms goosebumps. She arrived in front of the bar only to notice that the oaf of a friend and her husband were nowhere to be seen. She flipped open her cellphone and called the idiot himself, Naruto.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AT MISTER, HMM?"
"Sakura-chan, calm down. The bastard fled with those girls and I ran to get him before…"
"I THOUGHT YOU TOOK CARE OF THAT!"
"Uh… I'm about to wet my pants, hold me Sasuke"
"Don't worry Naruto—hic—Sakura won't skin you alive, ne Saku-chan?"
"IN YOUR DREAMS, THE MINUTE I FIND YOU TWO TONIGHT I'LL BE EATING YOU FOR A LATE NIGHT DESSERT."
"Well Naruto, now you can wet your pants, I'll join you as well if you are too shy to do it yourself."
"Sakura-chan, please spare us hopeless fools. I know we deserve to be punished, but don't you think that's a tad bit extreme?"
"NO! THAT'S JUST THE MINOR PUNISHMENT I HAD IN PLAN FOR YOU TWO! NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND GET YOUR ASSES BACK IN FRONT OF THE DAMN BAR SO THAT I CAN TEACH Y'ALL A LESSON!"
"Damn it Saku-chan, you're so sexy when you're angry. I'm getting hornier by the second."
"Flattering really, but still… THAT WON'T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED BY ME!"
"I still love you Saku-chan."
"As do I Sasu-chan, as do I."
"Well Sakura-chan, we are walking back to the bar. Wait for us, it will take about 2 minutes."
"I can see you dimwit."
Sakura closed her phone.
"HEY SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto yelled. He waved his hand while still holding his cellphone next to his ear.
"SAKU-CHAN, MY LOVE, I HAVE ARRIVED!" Sasuke ran to Sakura quickly and held her tight against him.
Sakura could smell the alcohol coming from Sasuke. "Great, another headache is coming my way…"
III.
"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face. She's got to love nobody. P-p-p-poker face, P-p-p-poker face. mum mum mum mah…"
"NARUTO I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR BALLS!"
.
Revised: 19 June 2011.