Ken's POV!
I've got this feeling again today.
Is wanting to die okay?
They say you rise and then fall.
But I've never risen so I plummet, a long way down to nothing at all.
I watch them watching me, so smart, so handsome, and so cool.
I gave it up for friends, now I'm everybody's fool.
Wanting to scream but laughing instead,
Lingering here neither alive nor dead,
There's nothing I can do, can't spill my own blood,
So instead I drown in the tears that flood.
Mother, Father, Friends so close,
It's so hard to swallow reality's bitter dose.
Closing my eyes, locked up tight,
Are the feelings weighed down that keep me from winning the fight.
It feels so strange, like I've lost it all,
Though I know I finally have someone to catch me when I fall.
I will not go to them, I can't allow them to save me.
This cross is mine to bear, and mine alone you see.
Hit my head and stifle my screams,
Caught up in the past, my bad dreams.
What cuts the deepest hurt the most,
Raise your glasses and propose a toast.
A toast to the boy you think you know, whose secrets hide in the shadows on his wall.
Hoping you can take his hand, and somehow break his devastating fall.
Don't you see, people take from those who lack,
In this world there is no giving back.
My darkened past just makes life worse,
Hear my words, for the weak, kindness is not a blessing but a curse.