It

by Silva Jupiter

“Ten…ten…” Ino’s voice took on a sing-song quality that she reserved for cajoling information from prisoners, “Tell us… is the Hyuga prodigy really a prodigy or just a dud?” - Random oneshot abt Neji/Ten and their relationship.

Hey everyone!

Okay so this is a humor/romance Neji and Tenten story. Other random pairings: Ino/Shika, Hina/Naru, Saku/Sasu.

About the rating, there's no sex scenes, just some other stuff. I'd rate it a T, but just in case know that there's some explicit material so I might make it an M if you guys think it should be.

Oh… I don't own Naruto.

Enjoy!!

A thick fog wound its way through the trees, like a snake winding around its prey in a choke-hold of death. No sound could perpetrate the heavy fog and no movement could cut through it. Tenten shuddered as she came in contact with the moisture, the cloud caressing her exposed skin before settling thickly upon her as well. If there was anything she hated more then water it was fog. Fog had a way of seeping into every crevasse. It was a silent and efficient thief, stealing the very life from her precious metal that she kept tucked in every corner of her body. Her weapons would rust if she had to stay out here for much longer.

Why oh why did I volunteer to be a scout? She thought to herself as she squared her shoulders and bravely continued her swift and methodical scan of the area. When she was finally finished she almost ran back to camp in a hasty retreat from the creepy cloud of mist.

"Tenten? Where were you? I almost sent Hinata out to look for you! What took so long?" Sakura fussed over her when she finally arrived back and collapsed into a grateful heap by the warm fire. The fog hadn't managed to make its way to their cozy camp and Tenten was very happy for that. She wouldn't be able to stand much more wetness. I can't wait to get out of Water Country and back to Konoha… and Neji.

A rather painful smack on her head bought her back into the real world and out of her lovely day dream about how Neji would welcome her home.

"So…" Sakura was no longer the only one waiting for Tenten's answer. Her silence had ignited the curiousity of the other two shinobi on their mission and Hinata and Ino now waited for her answer as well.

"Oh…" Tenten blushed and replied, "There's a rather heavy fog coming up this way. Nothing new of course, given this dreadful area, but it took a little longer for me to make certain it was all clear."

The three stared at her and then shrugged. They'd been hoping for something more dramatic, but at least nothing harmful had happened. They knew and understood Tenten's aversion to anything water-related and so decided not to question her any further. Settling down for the night, the four kunoichi reflected on their mission.

It had been almost painfully simple. They'd been sent on a seduction mission into the water country. Their mark had been a group of men who were leaders of a sex-trafficking network. Tsunade had been so furious at the thought of the smug men selling women as young as 11 for profit that she'd ordered the death of every man in the company and the girls had been more then happy to obey.

They'd posed for two weeks as peasant girls sent to the big city to find themselves a husband. Finally, the perverts in charge of the company fell for the bait and "trapped" the girls in an abandoned alleyway one night. After being taken into the heart of the operation and chained with a large group of beaten and captured women, they'd broken out and killed all those involved. It hadn't even required them to seduce anyone, though that had been the plan to begin with. All of them were secretly glad that it hadn't come to that, but they had been slightly bored by the simplicity of it.

"Well…" Ino drawled into the quiet night and the others looked up at her, thankful for something to discuss. "We mightn't have gotten to seduce anyone today, but I know I'm going to be seducing someone tomorrow."

The other three smiled and rolled their eyes at Ino's lack of sensitivity to such subjects.

"Things are going good with Shikamaru then?" Hinata asked politely, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Ino made a noise of pleasure deep in her throat and then nodded, "Oh yes… very good."

Tenten fake-gagged behind her hand and Sakura and Hinata covered their mouths to hide their giggles. Unfortunately, Sakura's leaked through and Ino's eyes began to narrow at the pink-haired girl.

"Just what are you laughing at? Last I heard, you and Sasuke were doing it like rabbits at your apartment every night. I heard you got kicked out because of all the noise." Sakura's eyes widened and her face turned an alarming shade of red.

"Why I oughta…" Tenten and Hinata attempted to hold the furious girl back, but failed due to the laughter that overcame the both of them.

"Doing… it… hahahaha… rabbits….." Tenten choked out between laughs.

"Oh Sakura-san… did- did you really…" Here Hinata had to stop because her giggles came so hard and fast that she was no longer able to breathe. Ino clapped the shy girl on her back, a twinkle of merriment in her eyes.

Sakura's anger had faded away into an amused embarrassment once Tenten and Hinata had begun laughing. It was hard to be angry at the shy girl and Tenten was so straightforward and endearing that you had to love her. Ino was always easy to pick a fight with, but those two were taboo as far as her temper was concerned.

"Well…" a rosy red seemed to have permanently settled on her cheeks, "We did get kicked out…" more snorts of laughter from the other three, "But its actually a good thing because now we live in the abandoned Uchiha complex and no one can hear us there so its okay if we're loud and stuff and it's really nice there too. So pretty. And he can be himself and relax for once and he's happy there and…" she realized she was rambling and shut up. To her surprise, her companions did not laugh at her statements. Instead, there was perfect silence. And then…

"AWWWW!! THAT'S SO SWEET!" Sakura jumped at Ino's declaration and her blush renewed itself.

"Yeah yeah… Well what about you and Naruto, Hinata?" She asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

The shy girl looked like she was about to drop into a faint. Her blush also surfaced and took permanent residence upon her face. "W-well…" She had hoped they wouldn't ask her. If Hinata was anything it was private and her and Naruto's sex life should be private as well, shouldn't it?

"It's okay Hinata, you don't have to tell us." Tenten's soft voice reassured her and Hinata almost collapsed with relief.

Ino snorted, "Yeah because we all know that blondie has the sex drive of a peanut. The poor guy probably doesn't even know what sex is for goodness sakes!"

Hinata stiffened at this insult to her love. She might be timid and polite, but no way was some other woman going to insult her Naruto-kun. Especially when the sex they had was… "GREAT! IT'S SO COMPLETELY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!"

All of them stared at Hinata as if she'd just burst into a loud shout concerning her sex life. Which… she kinda had. Instead of feeling embarrassed like she might have normally felt, Hinata smiled serenely and attempted to right her mistake, "That is… Naruto-kun and I are extremely satisfied with the current status of our sex life."

All of them nodded in shock and awe. Only Tenten had ever heard Hinata yell like she just had and it had been at Neji after he told her she couldn't date Naruto any more. Tenten had had to pull the normally quiet girl off of him before she could damage his eardrums and pride any more then she had already. That had been an interesting site to behold…

Tenten stopped thinking when she found all eyes on her. Three pairs of hungry eyes just begging for her to also share her story. For her to gossip about her own relationship with Neji. Oh God… she couldn't tell them that she hadn't…

"Ten…ten…" Ino's voice took on a sing-song quality that she reserved for cajoling information from prisoners, "Tell us… is the Hyuga prodigy really a prodigy or just a dud?"

Tenten choked. She couldn't believe that she'd just been asked that - about Neji! Not only was it not any of their business, but if she told the truth then he'd kill her. If she lied to them then he'd kill her even more. Either way, an answer to this question was going to be a complete no-no.

Sensing that she was going to be stubborn and refuse to answer, Ino and Sakura immediately figured it out, "Oh… my… God." Tenten looked up at them and they grinned evilly back at her, "You two haven't, have you?"

Tenten's blush was all the answer the nosy girls needed. The fire in her cheeks was so hot that she wondered how she was still alive and not burning already and their squeals of shock only made it much much worse.

"Tenten! But you've been dating Neji the longest! It's been over a year! You can't tell me you guys haven't gotten it on yet?" This time it was Sakura who spoke.

"Um… well… I… you see…" her mouth failed her and Tenten could only shrug helplessly.

Hinata hid her relief at not having to hear about her cousin doing it. The last thing she needed was that mental picture. She shuddered and then clucked in sympathy for her friend. It must be hard for her to listen to them and not really understand the type of love they were talking about.

Finally Tenten gathered herself up and managed a coherent reply, "I don't really know what to do. I've…" she trailed off, biting her lip as if wondering whether to really 'fess up and then she gulped and continued, "…been thinking about it for a while now. I don't know if he's refrained just to be polite or if maybe he doesn't really want me. I don't want to seem like a slut and force myself on him though… I just… I don't really know what to do."

The hopelessness in her voice tugged at the heartstrings of the other three. It had been easy to form a physical relationship with their significant others because they weren't dating someone who was renowned for being a human ice-cube (except Sakura but Sasuke was man enough to take what he wanted when he wanted it regardless of the consequences). If Tenten, who knew Neji better then he knew himself, doubted whether they really wanted each other in that way then something had to be done.

Ino nodded to Sakura and the two grinned wickedly once more, their devilish smiles directed at the poor girl who sat between them. "Well then… we'll just have to help you with that, won't we?"

Tenten's head snapped up. Now she'd done it. The last thing she wanted was these two trying to get Neji to break his perfect control and have sex with her. She didn't want them involved in her sex life (or lack thereof) at all. It wasn't until Hinata spoke up that Tenten began to consider the advantages of having them advise her.

"Tenten-san?" The girl's quiet voice rose just above the crackling of the fire, "Perhaps you just need some guidance on how to… set up the situation. You see, men are somewhat hard to read and Neji-nii-san is one of the worse. He loves you, anyone can see that, but I think he's just afraid of hurting you or driving you away. He's also a Hyuga which means he had to be polite all the time and wait for your say-so in sexual matters. And you are a bit of a tomboy, no offense. You don't understand matters of the heart and so you wait for him to guide you through it. Both of you are just waiting for the other to do or say something. Maybe if we help you, then you'll be able to get the ball rolling, so to speak."

As Ino and Sakura took turns praising the silver-eyed Hyuga for her aid in their evil schemes, Tenten realized the sense in her words. After Tenten and Lee, Hinata knew Neji the best. Perhaps, with help, she could move their relationship up to the next level.

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They made it back before noon the next day. Or, they would have made it back before then had Tenten not gotten into a rather nasty fight with the other three.

"I will NOT… I repeat… NOT… wear that. I am not a slut nor will I dress like one." She stated flatly, staring horrified at the scrap of clothing they wanted her to wear.

"Please Tenten! It'll be perfect. He hasn't seen you for two weeks and you come back wearing this. He'll jump you before we can even report to the Hokage!" Sakura begged.

Tenten simply raised an amused eyebrow. "I don't think it matters what I wear, I'm in no state to be 'jump-worthy'. Look at me!" She gestured to her mud-streaked face and tangled hair.

Ino and Sakura simply shook their heads in sympathy. "Darling, you know that we can fix that in no time, right? Now just wear the dress or I'll make you." Ino's maniacal grin was enough to convince Tenten that she would use force on her if she had to. However, the weapon's mistress wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Hinata!" The heiress had been calmly watching the argument from a tree. They were only 500 yards away from Konoha and all she wanted was to return home and see her Naruto. She missed him more then she would let on.

"Convince them that this is a crap plan." Tenten pleaded with her. Hinata shook her head with a half-smile at her friend's plight. She knew better then to interfere. When the time was right, Neji and Tenten would have their moment. Until then, she was going to let Ino and Sakura run the show.

"HINATA!" Tenten's enraged cry was cut off as she was jumped by the two demon girls. Sakura held Tenten's arms behind her while Ino preformed her mind-transfer jutsu and forced Tenten to change into the outfit they'd taken along with them as part of their seduction mission.

The lingerie set was an uncomfortable black lacy thong that felt like floss on her butt. She definitely fought Ino when she had to put that on, but to no avail. The bra matched and was just as lacy. On top went a blue-green belly-shirt that tied into a knot just below her breasts. The pants were light grey shorts that were so short they could almost pass as her underwear.

It was actually quite adorable. Especially on Tenten, who had the curves as well as the slender figure to look absolutely stunning in it. Unfortunately, the flaws in the plan included Tenten's lack of comfort. She was absolutely horrendous at behaving as if the atrociously girly items of clothing were actually comfortable. She picked at her permanent wedgie, fidgeted with the tie at the bottom of her top, and attempted to pull her shorts down as far as they would go. It would have been more comical had Sakura and Ino not been in such a determined mood to succeed.

"Stop that!" and "Hold still!" were repeated at least a hundred times as they attacked her with a hairbrush and other accessories. Tenten wished she could have stopped them from taking her hair down, but knew she would fail to convince them to leave it up so she simply gave up and waited for the torture to end.

After twenty minutes, it did end and Tenten stood shakily up and glared at them as they beamed at her excitedly. If they hadn't looked so excited and hopeful and if they weren't trying to help her, Tenten would've crushed them both. She hurt. The maniac who invented thongs was obviously immune to discomfort and Ino's damn hairbrush had to have half of her hair stuck in its bristles now.

She sighed and began her walk back home, though not as animatedly as before. And certainly not as graceful. She was going to burn this thong as soon as she got home. As soon as she could she was going to burn this entire outfit, but the thong would be the first to go…

She stumbled right into him, her lack of awareness of her surroundings leaving her to trip over a tree branch and straight into his waiting arms. Tenten smiled into his familiar chest. He was so sturdy and muscular and… pissed?

"Neji?" She questioned, bringing her head back to get a better look at him. He glared down at her as if she'd committed some type of horrendous crime and she involuntarily took a step back to save herself from his wrath. "What… What's wrong?"

The smoldering anger in his eyes flickered as he heard the timidity in her voice, but started back up again as he saw her outfit.

"What… the… hell… are… you… wearing?" He enunciated each word carefully, afraid to let his temper get the best of him.

Tenten cast a quick glance around for her friends only to find that they'd abandoned her to the Hyuga's wrath. Oh shit. Some friends they are.

"I… uh… Well Ino… Sakura…" All of a sudden Tenten felt the familiar presence in her mind. Apparently Ino hadn't left the scene afterall. Tenten realized a second too late that Ino having control of her mind at this point in time was not a good idea.

Her mouth moved into words she didn't want to say, "Well… it's all for you baby. What do you think?" Tenten mentally choked, imagining herself punching Ino a million times over for this torture.

Neji himself looked rather disgusted. He blinked a few times, the anger momentarily overrided by the shock of having his girlfriend – Tenten! – speak to him in such a way. "I… get some real clothes on and report to the Hokage. Once you have done that we need to talk."

Tenten stared at him in astonishment as he whirled around and ran off before she could say anything in reply. She felt Ino's disgruntled chakra dissipate, but could only stare after her boyfriend. She couldn't help but feel a little hurt by his reaction. She'd figured that, even if the plan was ridiculous and frivolous, Neji would have showed some sort of positive reaction to her outfit. He'd told her he liked when she dressed up for special occasions, in elegant kimonos she saved up to buy months in advance, but he hadn't even bothered with a compliment this time.

She felt her own subdued temper activate and, before the girls could stop her and tell her that her flimsy top needed to be retied and that her pants needed a belt if she was going to be running, she was off after him.

"NEJI! Get your ass back here!" She screamed at him in unadulterated fury. She didn't have far to go to catch up with him, as she was in many ways quicker then he was. He knew this and so gave up the minute he heard her behind him. As much as he would like to have avoided her while she was dressed like that, he knew better then to keep running when she was in one of her moods.

He skidded to a stop in the middle of their training field. Marks from stray kunai and other weapons scored the trees and the earth was filled with miniature canyons from his kaiten spin. The memories from all the times spent in this field, watching as she attempted to defeat him with nothing more then a handful of weapons and unstoppable determination. That had been what had caused him to fall in love with her in the beginning – her determination to persevere. They were two of a kind, both never giving up on their attempts to succeed even when they were held back by frivolous things such as fate and destiny.

"Hyuga. Neji." The murderous intent that rose from her caused him to gulp in fear and… some other emotion she couldn't comprehend. "What do you mean by running away from me?"

He backed up swiftly, his butt coming in contact with the dirt as he tripped into one of his kaiten holes. Her eyes didn't light up and she didn't laugh like she would have normally done at this rare glimpse of clumsiness. Instead, she continued to coolly gaze at him, obviously expecting an answer. He couldn't answer. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. Not when she was looking like that.

Tenten's anger faded to confusion when she saw the way he stared at her. That was when she realized what had happened. The ludicrous garments that her friends had forced on her were not ninja-proof and were gone. At least, the shorts were gone, having fallen off some time in her pursuit of her boyfriend. The sea-green top had become untied and opened to reveal the black lacy bra underneath. Her hair was once again tangled and she knew she had leaves and mud on her face again. She would have groaned in embarrassment and disappointment if she hadn't seen that look on his face.

Never before had she seen Neji so awed. He looked at her as if she was a Goddess. Tenten blushed, her hands coming up to cover her exposed areas. Her anger was completely done away with and now she was red with embarrassment.

"I uh… Well… lost my pants." She mumbled lamely, attempting to get him to say something… anything… to lessen the awkwardness of the situation.

"Y… Yeah." He replied, but made no move to do or say anything. He just continued to stare at her with that damn look on his face. Her cheeks continued their steady ascent into the reddest of reds. She shifted from one foot to the other in her nervousness and then, though she had no idea how it happened, she tripped, pitching into the same kaiten crater that Neji was currently in.

The fall reawakened her instincts and, to avoid harm, she threw her hands out to stop herself.

When she finally opened her eyes, she was only inches from a two strange white rocks. No… wait… those weren't rocks those were eyes – Neji's eyes.

Neji could feel himself heating up as she fell on him. She wasn't touching him, fortunately, or he'd have lost control, but she was only inches from him, her warm breath tickling his face. That charming blush of hers deepened and he bit back a moan of longing as he felt the heat from her body come so close to his own.

She knew this was it. This was the moment she'd been waiting for. It wasn't romantic and it wasn't exactly private, but if she really wanted him she'd have to take him now before he regained his precious control. She looked into his silver eyes, so filled with longing and love, and then she lowered herself onto him, letting her arms that she'd throw out in attempt to stop her fall go from holding herself up to holding him close.

He stiffened immediately. He couldn't help himself from trying to fight this unfamiliar yet oh-so-welcome contact. But when he finally tore his eyes from her gorgeous body and looked into her chocolate-brown eyes he lost all sense of right and wrong and let loose.

She gasped when he kissed her. This was hungrier then his other kisses, more primal and urgent. This kiss demanded that she kiss him back. And she did, moaning slightly when he forced his tongue into her mouth.

Her hands hadn't known where to go before, after they'd let her fall, but now they acted of their own accord, hungrily yanking off his shirt before he even realized what was happening.

They stayed like that for a while, planting teasing kisses on the exposed areas of each others bodies and then Neji had raised a reluctant hand for her to stop.

"Tenten…" She looked at him in confusion and realized that he was trying to do what was best for her.

"It's okay, I want this. I want you." She assured him, going in to plant another kiss on his waiting lips, but he put his hand up once again.

"No… that's not it. I… I've wanted this for a long time now. So long I've wanted you. But… I want this to be right so I need to ask…" She stared at him, her warm eyes no longer lustful but confused, "Will you marry me?"

Joy radiated from the brown-haired kunoichi, "Yes! Of course! Neji I love you!" She screamed and, despite already being on top of him, she hugged him even closer with a radiant smile adorning her features.

"Good… now then… where were we?" He lifted his hands to let free her bra, but she held up one of her own hands.

"You were right. We want to do this right." She struggled free of their position, standing up and dusting her hands off. Neji stared in a mixture of horror and disappointment as she retied the ends of her shirt together. She was still in her underwear (a thong he noticed, slightly pleased and surprised by this unexpected item of clothing) but now more covered then before. Her hair went up next, the twin buns sprouting as if by magic under her quick fingers. "We should save this type of tomfoolery for the honeymoon. That way it'll be really special. We won't be like those other girls my age. Our love is real so we'll wait."

Neji hardly knew what to say to this speech. He was torn between hating himself for bringing up the subject of marriage and hating her for taking it so seriously. Heck, right now he hated the world for inventing such a thing as a sex drive and then giving him a girl who liked to torture him by turning hers off at the worst of times. They were just getting started, for goodness sakes! Why did she stop! Why??

"Now there's the cake and the guest list and the…" her voice trailed off as she began walking towards the town, her sharp eyes scanning her surroundings for sign of the shorts that she knew had to be around here somewhere.

From the bushes came a small rustling and Neji whirled around, activating his bloodlimit. "Byakugan!"

He immediately caught the three guilty eavesdroppers. All of Tenten's fellow kunoichi tumbled out of the bush as he stormed over to reprimand the girls. To think Tenten and him had almost had sex with people watching! That would have been a nightmare. Especially seeing as one of them was his own cousin. "Hinata… Sakura… Ino… what the hell are you doing here?"

His voice was so patient that the girls winced guiltily, "W-We um… congratulations on g-getting married?" Hinata stammered.

"You wouldn't, by any random chance, happen to have been spying on us, now would you?" he questioned.

"Well you see…" Sakura 'fessed up, stumbling over her words as she rushed to get her sentence out, "Tenten admitted that you two had never done it so we decided we'd help her and now we were just trying to see if it would work and… um… I guess it didn't?"

"No. It didn't." His eyes still blazed from the power of the Byakugan and it was making the three extremely nervous. Even Hinata, who had grown up with the eyes watching her all the time and even possessed them herself, was wishing she could disappear at this very moment. "However, I just have the greatest idea for how to thank you three for helping to set us up and I'm sure Tenten will just adore it." All of them froze in sheer terror, like deer caught in the headlights. Neji's idea of revenge usually included someone not making it through the next day alive.

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Five months later, in middle of a gorgeous Summer night, Neji and Tenten were married. They had chosen a night with a full moon that shone down, its breathtaking silver surpassing everything except for Neji's eyes as Tenten walked up the aisle.

She had to hold a hand over her mouth to stop the giggles that threatened to explode through as she walked towards her husband-to-be. Gai-sensei was the one handing her over, as he was the only father figure she had ever had and he had long since collapsed into a 'youthful laughing fit' upon seeing the scene she took in now.

Chocolate eyes dancing, she made her way to Neji and stood next to him, whispering to him as he took her hands, "You are truly a genius. I couldn't have picked better bridesmaid dresses myself."

He offered her only a crooked smile, his flawless features causing her to catch her breath in awe. Finally, they said their vows and kissed – a sweet and slow kiss with just an edge of passion that promised more later, once they were alone.

Hinata, Sakura, and Ino stood staring sourly at the happy couple. They all wore the same outfit and that outfit had been Neji's revenge plan since he realized they were trying to force him and Tenten into a sexual relationship. They now stood before the entirety of Konoha each wearing a bright pink bunny suit.

Okay, this is too long for a oneshot so I'm done writing. Don't ask. Seriously… I was just kinda thinking about how funny it'd be to write about Neji not knowing how to have sex with Tenten and then it just went downhill to bunnies and thongs from there.

Anyways, please review. This is my first short story (though I realize it is NOT in any way "short". It was supposed to be, I swear!).