You know what sucks?
Finding out the girl of your dreams is stupid-in-love with the kid whose dad put your dad in prison forever.
Seriously.
That hippie girl that hangs out with Stronghold, I hung out with her last night. She showed up at the Paper Lantern. Apparently she and Stronghold were supposed to have a date or something, but he never showed…the ass. Anyway, it started off just a simple duty. I recognized her, but I figured what the hell, might as well do my job. So I asked if she needed anything. You would have thought I'd poked her with a sharp stick. Her eyes got really big for a second but she regained her footing fast.
She smiled and pointed out the fact that we went to school together. Being the angel that I am, I didn't make her feel stupid by saying 'duh'. Not out loud at least.
Ok, so it went through my head. Sue me. The important thing is that I feigned ignorance.
I asked her if she wanted me to heat up her plate for her. Any normal person would assume that I meant in the microwave, but she automatically is on alert for any kind of rule breakage, so those beguiling brown eyes widened again and she leaned forward, dramatically warning me that I wasn't supposed to use my powers outside of school.
Aside from the fact that I have been going to Sky High for over a year, I'd gone as long as possible without being relatively sarcastic, so I leaned in—mirroring her—and whispered, "I was just going to stick it in the microwave."
She smiled and kind of chuckled to herself, blushing prettily. That was a new one on me. I'd made girls uncomfortable before, but I had never made one blush. It was cute.
She asked if I wanted to sit down and since business wasn't exactly booming at the time—it was pretty late for Chinese food—I decided to take a minute.
We talked for a while. Well, more accurately, she talked and I listened.
Ok, fine. She talked and I watched her. I didn't honestly give a crap about what she was saying, since most of it had to do with Stronghold anyway.
The thing is, I was totally…I dunno. Enchanted sounds too much like something a chick would say, but that's about it. I don't think I could have looked away, even if I'd wanted to.
Her eyes sparkled. Her nose crinkled when she would laugh at herself, and it was just so cute. She's like a cute little fuzzy bunny.
I opened a fortune cookie to give myself something to do. I popped a piece into my mouth, but she didn't even break stride in her Will-and-Layla tale of lifelong friendship. I read the fortune and rolled my eyes.
I managed to pull myself out of my waking coma long enough to mark a spot in the conversation, which was a mistake because hearing her ooze over Stronghold made me speak, which I've decided is sometimes not a good thing.
She was blathering on about some lima beans or something.I'm not really sure.
She was like, "You know how you grow lima beans in school? Well, Will could not figure out why mine were growing so quickly. It was driving him crazy. So finally I took mercy on him and told him about my powers. And we've been best friends ever since."
Aw. How sweet. Excuse me while I go puke.
Since I figured out early on that it would be a crime against nature to be mean to this kid—she was the epitome of niceness, after all—I didn't say all that. Instead, I took the more diplomatic route.
I know, right? So unlike me.
I paused after her chatter, pretending to ponder. "And falling for him, was that before or after the lima beans?" I asked.
One thing is for certain: if Sky High had a drama club, Layla would not be in it. She gave an overexaggerated eyeroll and said, "WHAT? I am not in love with Will Strong…" but she stopped because my face pretty much said I didn't believe her. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and I bit back a smile. She looked so deflated. It was so melodramatic.
"Is it that obvious?" she asked. I nodded and answered in the affirmative. She looked sad. It threw me. Believe it or not, I'm not used to comforting women. Being the loving, gentle person that I am, I'm sure you'd think that I'd be a prime comforter, but it just isn't so. (That was more sarcasm, by the way.)
I picked up the fortune cookie paper and looked at it. She didn't notice. Unable to resist, I kept my face neutral and let my voice soften a bit. "You know what I think?" I asked. "To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart," I said, quoting the fortune.
She was stunned by my intellect. Those warm eyes shone with thanks. "Wow," she said. "That is really deep."
I kept my voice at the same level as I agreed. I held up the slip from the fortune cookie. "And your lucky numbers are four, sixteen, five, and forty-nine."
She laughed and shook her head. At least I had cheered her up some. Stronghold was still a jackass, but whatever. That wasn't my problem.
We talked a little while longer and I convinced her to ask him to the stupid dance that was coming up. That way, my conscience would be clear and I wouldn't have to see her moping around school all freaking day.
"Warren, I'd like to get out of here some time tonight. Can't you seduce that little girl outside?" Mrs. Cho called in Mandarin.
"I'm not trying to seduce her. Just helping her out," I called back. I looked at Layla and handed her the fortune. "I better go. See ya around, hippie," I said, sliding from the booth. "She goes to my school," I called to Mrs. Cho, still in Mandarin.
"She's cute. You should ask her out."
"She like somebody else," I said, kicking open the kitchen door.
"Well then she es estupid," Mrs. Cho said in broken English, patting my cheek. "You a good boy. And very pretty."
I smiled wryly, nodding. "Thank you," I answered, chuckling.
I washed the remaining dishes and went back out front, wiping my hands on a dishrag. I wasn't surprised that Layla wasn't there, but I'll admit, I kinda wished she had been.
Oh well. We made a plan. She's gonna ask Stronghold to that dance and I can get on with being broody and scary.
It works for me.