I have been wondering if I should post this. This is is a translation from a Japanese fic I read recently. I feel really strongly to translate this fic for a few reasons.
The fic depicted exactly what I feel towards a certain goggle boy and his weakness. That was something I tried to express about his character even in my own fanfic "Digimon Adventure Zero Two: The Alternate Adventure". Another reason was I found two fics in Japanese on similar concept. I took the one which was an one-shot as the basis of my translation. I'm studying Japanese so I treat this as my practice. Lastly, my class today happened to touch on various words which I read from the two fanfics. There can't be any better coincidence that I just have to share this fic.
The skeleton came from "Broad Shoulder and Small Hand" by Asatsuki, added in some emotional element from "Opacity" by Himuaki as I wanted to add some emotions from the Chosen Children. It was even more heart wrenching touching on the boy's insecurities. I will love to translate that but it was a multi chapters and incomplete fic. Come to think of it I'm wondering if his character ever overcome his own darkness like the other characters did. Of course, I will take down this fic should the original writers want me to take it down.
Pardon me if my translation sounded weird. I added and omitted stuff which I don't really understand and I had added in my own interpretation.
Digimon is not mine.
As usual, please read and review.
Broad Shoulder and Small Hand
Come to think of it, the pain was becoming excruciating towards the end of our adventure.
My body was crying out in pain as I struggled to stand.
I would not allow myself to collapse now. That was why I fought hard to stand up on my own.
That was because something much more painful and important was waiting for me.
At this moment, my heart was aching more as compared to the pain I felt from my body.
"Take care."
"Taichi too!"
We will definitely meet again. Even though I am not sure about that, I hide my weakness beneath my smile.
I thought we will always be together and we can write tales of our new adventure...
We had just met our Digimon and suddenly, it was time to part.
"Thank you, Agumon. I'm glad that we have been partners."
Again, as an Elementary student, the words I am able to use for communication is limited.
Thank you for always being by my side all the time, helping and supporting me. I'm sorry for all the unreasonable things I forced you to do for me. Meeting you is the happiest thing that could ever happen to me.
For now, "Thank you" is all I can say to you.
That's why.
"Thank you."
I want to say I like you with a smile as tears well up my eyes.
"Taichi, me too... Thank you."
Agumon was smiling seemingly in tears as he said that.
We felt the same towards each other strongly.
As obstinate as we are, we would not let ours tears fall in front of one another.
I forced a smile as I bid farewell.
With no other words to use for farewell, we used "let's meet again." instead of "take care."
"Taichi, don't overdo it."
"Eh?"
Agumon said suddenly as I hop on the trolley.
"Taichi, didn't you realise you are always pushing yourself too hard to be self-reliant? That is a sign of weakness."
I opened the window of the trolley so that we can call out to each other in the final moment as the door closed.
I regretted that I did not manage to tell you that I got your message.
Even at the last moment, I caused you worries.
Agumon being the closest to him, understood his pain for being weak.
I was unable to say that I'm "weak" either way since I hold the Crest of "Courage".
Now that you mentioned it, I didn't notice it until we were approaching the gate to the Real World.
I let my tears I had been holding on to fall.
I felt the sense of loneliness in my heart... and it hurts...
It's okay to feel sad.
We will surpass the pain and become stronger...
Taichi closed his eyes quietly as the gate closed.
His eyes would be filled with sadness and loneliness the next time he opened his eyes.
His parents who were waiting would be smiling in happiness as they welcome him back.
His mother would hug him till he could not breathe while his father would ruffle his hair praising him for all the hard work.
Only as a son, he would understand the meaning from the words of praises came from a man such as his father.
His mother would hug Hikari happily.
Everyone else would be hugging and crying in happiness when they reunite with their family.
They would be reunited with their children.
This was something normal kids would not have experienced.
After all their experience during the adventure, the Chosen Children would be more honest with their feelings.
The peace of mind after the battle had ended...
Taichi's memory ended abruptly as he felt his shoulder grew weak.
He thought he heard Hikari's voice fading from a distance away.
"Oniichan?"
Everyone realised that Taichi was a little too quiet. He did not even respond to Hikari's call.
They were wondering what was wrong when they heard Hikari's cries.
"Oniichan, what's wrong?"
With that, everyone's attention were focused on Taichi as they witness Hikari clinging on to Taichi who had collapsed.
"Taichi!"
"Taichi-san!"
They realised in horror that Taichi's face was deathly pale as he fell limp on Hikari's arms all the sudden.
The children were panicking, calling out to the adults to call for ambulance when the Trolley arrived at the Real World. Taichi required emergency treatment.
This was something they did not want to face in the Digital World.
To go through something like this was really sad.
The pain of Hikari's cries reverberated in their mind.
Taichi was in really horrible condition as he was rushed to the hospital with his family accompanying him.
It was a race against time as the surgery had began by the time the rest of the Chosen Children had arrived at the hospital.
The children remembered how Taichi collapsed from his injuries during the battle against Piemon.
They should have realised he could not even stand in his condition even before the final battle with Apocalymon which broke out before they even have time to react.
That was pathetic.
Yamato stared at his hands and clenched his fist tightly in regret.
He was the one who cradled Taichi on his arms after he collapsed.
He had seen the pain Taichi was enduring being so close to him.
"How could I... How could I even forget about it?" Yamato said quietly with all the strength he could muster.
They were probably the injuries he received during the battle with Piemon.
He pushed himself too hard.
And finally, the tension was released when they returned to the Real World...
That was how long he held out...
Yes, it was not the time for him to collapse during that kind of situation.
Even though they were fighting with him by his side, it was pathetic of them for not noticing it.
"Yamato... don't reproach yourself..." Jou trailed off.
"But Jou... I..."
"We feel the same. We didn't notice either. Please don't shoulder all the blame by yourself."
Koushirou spoke up with a painful expression. It was painful for him too.
They had seen him fallen with injuries before their very eyes.
Suddenly, they came to a realisation.
They were able to advance because Taichi was moving forward first. He was always moving ahead paving the way for those who were slower to the extent that at times, the others felt that he was pushy. But yet if it was not for him, they would not be able to advance.
He chose to move on ahead, supporting all of them while putting up with all their complaints and insults even though at times, it was hurtful. But when he needed their support, they could not do anything for him.
Why were they feeling so helpless when they saw him collapse?
Just because he was stronger than all of them as they were all weak.
Why did he have to protect them?
They wanted to protect him too.
The thought of it brought them even more pain.
"How is Taichi?" Yamato asked Hikari who was in tears as she approached them.
"His ribs were broken and his internal organs were pierced by his broken ribs... his whole body was covered with bruises... and he was suffering from extreme fatigue... it was unbelievable that he held out for that long..."
The children grimaced as Hikari struggled to get her words out.
"How is Oniichan... How is Oniichan able to appear as though it is nothing despite being in so much pain?"
Tears fell heavily down her cheek as she cast her eyes down. Taichi's father came to the children.
"The surgery is going to take some time. Everyone please go home first. Your family are waiting and all of you are tired right?" He tried to persuade the children to go home first. However, The words did not get through them.
"Please let us stay until the surgery ends." Yamato spoke up on behalf of everyone. They were not going anywhere until at least they were sure that Taichi was going to be fine.
Sure, they were tired but they were worried.
They were unable to avert their eyes from the red light above the door. The surgery was still ongoing.
That colour of the light of surgery hurt their eyes.
They did not know how much time had passed when the light finally went off.
Taichi will recover. The healing power of children are strong. Taichi will be able to play sports like he used to.
They were by his side even though they were all worn out.
Taichi was just Taichi, he was worried when he saw everyone's face looking pale when he woke up.
"Is everyone okay? Your face look awful."
That was his very first words when he first woke up.
The children did not know where to be shocked or to be angry at him for being worried about them instead of himself. They were too tired for it.
Taichi was surprised that everybody were able to call on him at the same time.
"By the way, where is Hikari?"
He did not even realise he was in the hospital. He thought he was lying on his bed at home. That was what his reaction had told them.
They took turn to take out on him when he woke up. They were mad at him.
"Idiot! You should worry about yourself than the rest of us!" Yamato chided his friend.
They blamed him for pushing himself too much; they blamed him for taking everything upon himself; they blamed him for being insensitive to his own pain.
And, they apologised for not supporting him; they apologised for causing him to suffer alone; they apologised for various things.
Taichi claimed that he was not in pain awkwardly.
After he thought he was in pain, his pain was gone. The next time, when he felt pain, it was time to bid farewell to their Digimon. His heart was aching from his sorrow. Things like the pain on his body, he had forgotten about it.
He did not mean to keep quiet about it until he finally collapse from his injuries.
From that day onward, the children visited him daily.
One day, Yamato came to visit him later than usual in the evening as he had something to do earlier in the day.
He noticed that Hikari was not here. She was always by his side when he visited Taichi in the noon usually.
Taichi was resting quietly with his eyes closed.
"How are you going to sleep at night if you are sleeping now?" Yamato grumbled to himself in a sarcastic tone softly.
He sat down on a chair by Taichi's bed quietly.
Yamato glanced at Taichi's hand on the side of his blanket, he noticed his scars at several places. His wound would heal naturally but the scars would remain for a while.
He could not be more messed up than Taichi.
He held his hand trying not to wake him up.
"His hand is so small..."
For someone who seems to have a broad shoulder, his hand is a little smaller than his.
Someone with such a small hand actually led everyone.
In fact, Yamato was shocked when he cradled Taichi who was wounded from the battle with Piemon on his arms. Taichi's shoulder was actually quite small.
Yamato found it ridiculous that he actually believed that Taichi is "strong" even though he has a thin body and slender arms like him. He realised he was just being foolish.
Without a doubt, deep down Taichi wanted to be someone they believed in by shouldering all the responsibilities on his back.
But his hand is so small.
He must have work really hard to extend his hand big enough to grab hold of everything.
As Yamato felt Taichi's warmth from his hand, he made a decision.
He want to protect him.
He want to protect Taichi.
So that he would not be hurt.
So that he could ease his own pain and the sadness.
"I'm sure you didn't know that you don't rely on others. But to rely on others doesn't mean that you are weak. It means trust. The courage you have for believing in others is your strength, isn't it? For you have already shown it to me."
Yamato confessed to Taichi who was asleep and he took a vow.
He vowed that he would become someone Taichi would rely on. He was determined about it.
Maybe he was not good enough now, but he would work hard towards it.
Yamato placed his hand back under the blanket.
He stood up taking a glance at his sleeping face. It was okay not to hear a reply from him.
Taichi opened his eyes when he heard Yamato leaving as the door slid close.
Taichi was not actually asleep. In fact he had already woken up when Yamato held his hand.
He found it difficult to deal with the atmosphere as Yamato's voice rang in his ears.
He was desperately trying to hold back his tears at his words.
He finally understood what Agumon was trying to tell him.
"Relying on others is not a weakness."
Now he understood.
He was aware that he was weak, which was why he continued to push forward pretending that he was strong.
He was just pretending to be tough by standing alone.
From the start, he felt that he would be weak if he rely on others.
He held the Crest of "Courage". All the more he could not be weak. That was why he thought he was okay on his own.
After listening to Yamato's words, he understood.
He thought he is strong but the fact is he is weak.
Even so, he was aware that he could not win the final battle without everyone working together. Perhaps, there was a part of him who is strong after all.
That was why Agumon was so worried about him.
It's okay.
Yamato had given me the "courage" to believe in everyone.
I had heard everyone's thought.
When I recover, I will apologise to everyone for causing them worries and I will tell them that their presence are what support me.
And I will thank them.
As expected, I have a lot of words I want to say.
"Oniichan, are you awake?"
Hikari knocked on the door before coming in as she thought her brother might be asleep.
"Yeah, just."
"I just saw Yamato-san at the corridor. He must have left as he didn't want to wake Oniichan up."
"It's okay. We will meet tomorrow." Taichi said cheerfully.
Hikari felt happy as Taichi seemed to be happy about it. She missed his smile. Her brother's smile resembles the sun especially.
Hopefully he will be able to go out once he has some colour return to his face.
And they will go for a walk in the garden.
"Hikari, let's play to our hearts' content with everybody when I get well."
"Sure!"
The sunset outside the window was beautiful.
Tomorrow seems to be another hot day.
There will be a wide blue sky out there.
I'm sure the same colour will extend to the Digital World.
I'm sure our hearts are connected with our Digimon.
It's alright even if we are unable to meet.
My friends who feel the same are here.
I can always talk to the others when I feel sad. We can cry together.
I'm sure Agumon can feel it.
Like how I feel for Agumon. We have each other in our mind.
That's why it is okay.
I will, from now on, become stronger in the right way.
Taichi smiled from the bottom of his heart.