Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.
Authors Note: A small one-shot on the little rat we love to hate. An insight to his mind, his feelings and his thoughts as he turns his life over to the Dark Lord. As always, reviews are appreciated. Extra special thanks to my fantastic beta and fellow author Shanzeh Black! Take a bow Shanzeh!
Was I ever truly their friend? Sometimes I don't think I was. Sometimes I think I was merely there. Merely a shadow trailing behind them, an unwanted, unneeded presence. Other times I think that I just try to convince myself that to make what I plan to do a little easier.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered to hang around them. But I have to answer myself honestly- they were powerful. They were popular, strong, intelligent- everything I wasn't…and so I needed them. I needed their protection just as I need the protection of my new Lord.
I cannot lie to myself- they were good friends. They talked with me and laughed with me. They looked out for me and helped me. But they didn't respect me. They always regarded me as their inferior. I was always just Peter. Just the chubby little boy, always stumbling behind them, way beneath them, talent wise.
In the main, I considered them my best friends. It wasn't as though they were bad to me, they weren't. They were fun and energetic, always getting into mischief, always including me in everything they did. If it weren't for the moments, I would never dream of betraying them. But the moments ruined all…
It was in those moments when I realized how lowly they thought me. It happened when I said something that perhaps wasn't displaying much intelligence. I would get a look from all 3 of them, an exasperated response, sometimes even a sneer. It was in those moments when I realized that they didn't respect me, but thought me just a tagalong, an unneeded extremity of the group…which was exactly what everyone in the school thought me.
Sometimes I feel remorse, regret. I have betrayed my closest friends, I know I have. Because in a mere few hours, I will pledge my allegiance to the Dark Lord. But I have my reasons…
When they see me alongside such evil how will they ever again think I am weak? I will be surrounded by power and so I will be powerful. I can no longer blindly follow others into a hopeless war. I can finally stand out, be a trailblazer and join the war on the winning side. Perhaps they will see me differently now. Perhaps they will follow me.
Maybe this is all a mistake…but it's still a mistake I am willing to make. Because I despise being thought of as simply being there, contributing nothing. Now I can finally find some glory. The days will come when people may ask what happened of Peter. Tales will be spun of my turning evil and betraying those they thought I held dear. But remember this: if those tales do get spun, know that it was their fault how I turned out. Those three school friends made me who I am today.