--- What He Goes Through ---
The sun peeked through the curtains this morning as it attempted to pull me from my slumber. The sweat dreams of a happy life with my wife are all erased as I blink away the sleep and slide off the edge of the bed; a task none to easy. After checking to make sure she wasn't disturbed, I make my way to the bathroom to freshen up for the day. For once, I allow the cold water to run unheated to attempt to wake me up faster. I made the mistake of sleeping in today, and now I'm gonna pay for it.
Once I'm finally dressed, I sneak downstairs, stepping over the creaking floor boards and enter the kitchen downstairs. I know if I don't make the coffee before she wakes, well... I don't want to think about it. So I'll take a moment or two to start her morning coffee then remove myself from the house. I never did understand why my father never build a door between the house and shop. My father never was a brilliant man. But, I guess I should not complain. My father's original designed had about an hours travel between house and shop . I don't think the business would of survived if I had to travel that far away from Izumi.
As I exit through the back door, I only close the screen. This is a friendly enough town that I don't need to worry about anything. The neighbors I have are long since awoken. The husbands and older sons all gone to work while the wives and small children work around the house. I never could do that. I never could muster the strength to ask of Izumi to clean the house while I make the money. It just doesn't seem right to me. Even if that is the contract of a typical housewife.
The shops all around the center of town are long since opened. The owners all traveling a distance between home and shop. They laughed at my father when he designed his shop, but now I can feel their jealous eyes boring into me as I pull out my keys and begin to open my butcher shop. I'm the one who gets to sleep in. Once the sign is flipped and the register unlocked, it's only a matter of time before the usual customers enter and order.
And just as if on cue, the bell over the door rings and in walked Mrs. Seggerka and her three sons. If I can remember correctly, she's gonna order two pounds of beef and then leave.
"Two pounds of beef please, Sig."
BINGO. Every Friday morning she orders her Sunday dinner. I nod my head and don't bother writing it down. Walking away from t he shop, I'll enter the back room where I keep all the records of the business. The freezer door sits to the left and inside is stored enough meat to feed the town for three years. I can still remember the days my father would punish me for just sitting in there on those hot summer days as a child.
I remove the meat for her and then wrap it, ringing up the never forgotten total and she pays and leaves, taking her noisy brats with her. I know I now have much time to rest before the real crowds fill the town. It's this time my mind wanders and begins to consider different things as I close my eyes. Like creating a walkway between house and shop. Or maybe shut down the shop and work for someone else instead of for my self.
The second thought is always canceled out as soon as I think it. Because just as it enters my mind, the bell rings and a gentle hand rests on my shoulder and slides down my arm. Accompanied by a soft kiss on my cheek. This opens the door and the 'shut-down-shop' idea leaves quickly. Without the shop, I would never be able to support my wife or care for her illness. Turning my head to look over the shoulder she currently rests her head on, I smile at her. After swinging around to look up at me, I can see in her other hand a half cup of coffee.
"Morning Sig."
"Morning love."
A shared morning kiss and she leans on the counter, attempting to chase away what ever sleep still rests in her mind. She goes to sleep late and wakes up early every day. This doesn't help her condition, but it's like talking to a wall when trying to give her suggestions, and I think thats why I love her. She is not like your everyday woman. She's strong enough to protect herself and she doesn't dress all fancy nor care how she looks. Her 'formal dress' is a sleeveless white duster and a pair of black cut off pants with flip flops. Her long silky black hair is tied into many tiny controlled dread locks. She never uses make-up, and never cares about the latest fashion. She's worn the same outfits all the years we've been married and never complains about out life style.
She never stays long in the shop. No other shop owners allows their family in the shop like I allow Izumi. After all, only men work in this town. But the name of this shop is Curtis Meats and after all, her last name has been Curtis for the past ten years. But as soon as a customer enters, she smiles and excuses herself to go about her day. I watch her leave as the customer hold her door for her. Once she's out of sight, I turn to the man who has entered and begin to take his order.
Around mid-day, the crowd thins out and my younger brother comes in. He may only be seven teen, but he lives alone ever since our parents died. He comes in to order and to talk. He may be my brother, but sometime I wonder if he is Izumi's brother. They get along so well I used to think he was going to steal her away from me. But I know he doesn't have the guts, and she will always see him as a child since he acts it.
"Hey Sig-san. What's happening today?"
"The same."
Mason smiles and leans on the counter before I hand him his usual order and he pays. Family or not, this is a business. For the rest of the day, it's the same thing. Customers come in, they order and they leave happily after paying. Some bring children, some don't. The majority of my customers are female, but the occasional elderly man will come since he is retired and no longer works. As the day ends, the customers came less and less leaving me to my own thoughts again. I keep my eyes open on the door as I wait for Izumi to re enter like all other evenings before. She usually comes back around to the shop front to remind me with her presence to come home for the night.
The adjacent shops shut down lights and lock up for the night. Again I can feel their jealous eyes staring at me. I can open later and stay open longer. All because my home is less then a minute away. The moon isn't out tonight but the many stars that fill the sky are just as bright in the dark navy blue sky. After ten more minutes, I shut down lights and lock the doors. The town is just about deserted as I walk around the side of the building and enter the back yard
I opened the door, close the screen and turn on the kitchen lights. The stove is quickly turned on and dinner is soon cooking on the stove. For a family that owns a meat shop, we don't eat much of it. Salads, soups, sandwiches and once I remember eating breakfast for dinner. But meat, I think we have it maybe once a week if that; but something we have every night is wine. It's just something we've always done. Leaving the food to now cook it's self, I walked from the stove to the back door which I open. The soft glow from the house lights pour onto the grass which cover the first half of the back yard. The second half is covered in sand which creates the small shore line of the small lake which holds Yock Island.
I stand just inside the doorway, screen door closed, as I look out across the lake at the small island where I can see a tiny black figure sitting on the sands. Recognized immediately as Izumi; the complete opposite of myself. She may be my height, but other then that; she is very slender and very athletic. And could kick my ass if she wanted to; this is something I admit to no one.
I continue stared at her as the small boat we own bobs along the island's shore. Looking up at the sky, I see millions of stars and no clouds nor moon. When I look back down, I see her stand and slowly walk across the island over to the boat. A breeze blew by and with it brought some waves and the soft scent of salt off the water. Taking in a deep breath I walk back into the house, leaving the door open for light. I walked back to the stove and began to cook. It wasn't a big meal, never was. Izumi couldn't eat much anymore. Since...
I shake my head gently and pushed the thought away. The soup is done; the wine is poured and the kitchen is cleaned up. Now all that is needed is the presence of my wife. After waiting by the sink cleaning the pot, I can hear the sounds of the boat moving along the sands and the ores getting dropping into said boat. This is a sign that all is well so far. I continue to wait and listen to the silence which now consumed the back yard. The screen door should open any second now and in Izumi would walk. But I continued to wait in concern as the seconds pass by. My mind creates situations and I try to fight them. I continue to reassure myself that she is fine.
The sudden sound of a cough erupt into my ears as I snap back to reality. I listen and begin to consider the fact that I was hearing things. I waited and the sound of louder and more fast paced coughing quickly follows. I drop the pot into the sink and run to the door. I'm a large man who doesn't run fast, but I still push myself past the table and opened the screen door. I look out into the darkness as the door way light peeks around my form and scatters across the grass. In slow motion I watch Izumi; already on her knees holding herself up with one arm; looses strength and her arm gives way. She slowly falls to the ground , her other arm falling from her head to the wooden porch.
My heart felt like it stopped as time picked up normal pace and I ran to her, lying in a puddle of her own blood. As I reach her, my heart is racing faster then a normal heart should. Pain fills my chest and head as I rush to her side. Her eyes are remaining open but I know she is not conscious. Her once bright violet yes are dull and gray. I roll her quickly onto her back and lift her into my arms. I rush through the door, opening it with my foot. The flashback of our wedding day come to me as I carry her bridal style into the house.
Fighting back all emotions as best I could, I quickly reached our bedroom and placed her down on the bed's edge. Thankfully, her coughing stopped shortly after she fell, making this much easier for me to handle. I removed a night shirt from the dresser by the door and place it next to her on the bed. Her white duster is covered in blood as I remove it and toss it aside. I pull the shit over her head gently and pile pillows behind her head, then laid her down to rest. Her eyes have closed now and she seams to be resting peacefully. Using a clean section of the duster, I manage to wipe blood from her chin and clean her face of the dirt from her fall.
My eyes scan her for other injuries. Thats when I notice her left hand. The golden band on her finger gives of a slight glow in the bedroom light. I then notice the red swelling of her wrist. I gently touch it then notice in her unconscious state, she winces in pain. I retract my hand and remove myself from the bedroom. I enter the bathroom where I moisten a cloth and grab some bandage. Entering the bedroom once more, I place the cloth on her forehead and then proceed to wrap her wrist in a tight support. I shut down the bed side lamp and watch her sleep in the darkness.
I continue to stand next to the bed until I feel my legs grow weak. A large green arm chair rests against the wall under the window and across from the bed. I once slept here back when she as carrying out unborn son. The bed wasn't large enough for both of us to sleep comfortably then so I took the chair from the study and dragged it into here. Now I sit here every time she gets ill. It's become my second bed. Before long after sitting down, I feel myself drifting off to sleep with a silence prayer they she will be all right tomorrow.
My dream is filled with darkness and fear as I go though what seems to be a normal day until I hear coughing. I follow the painful coughing and soon my surroundings are gone. I quicken my pace as darkness surrounds me. Then, in a distance I can see Izumi coughing up blood and falling to her knees in pain. I try to rush to her but every step I take only gets me farther from her. I call out to her. But all she does is continue to cough. The coughing gets louder and louder as she gets further and further from me. Once again I am alone. But not for long. An image of a cemetery appears and then surrounds me. I walk through the raining field and spot a group of people dressed in black. Moving closer, I see the stone they surround. As soon as the name Izumi Curtis is visible on the stone... I woke up.
I look across and see Izumi is still sleeping. Removing the towel from her forehead, I exit the room and walk downstairs to clean up. The bowls of soup rest on the counter next to the glasses of wine. They are untouched and will remain untouched. A soft creaking comes from upstairs and I look up. The creaking turned to bed creaking and I smile as a heavy weight is lifted from my chest. I dry off my hands and head back upstairs, grabbing a small pill bottle and a glass of water on my way. Upstairs, I can see Izumi sitting up in the bed, the pillows resting behind her comfortably. Her broken wrist was resting across her abdomen and her other hand, which was gripping the blankets tightly, rested and dropped to her side. Her half closed eyes stared at me softly. I enter the room and pull a chair next to the bed.
"how are you feeling?"
I ask her as she takes the pills and water from me.
"Better, thank you."
She swallowed the pills and continued to drink the water. She lowered her hand slightly, the glass still resting against her lips. Her eyes were bright violet once again as she stared out the window. I watch as hr hand continued to tip. The water about to spill on her as she continues to zone out.
"Izumi..."
I call her back to this world. To much thinking on her part is not good. She blinks and lowers her glass to her lap.
"Do you need anything?"
"No thank you."
She replies before finishing off the water and then continuing to hold the glass in her hands. I know why she is sick, even if I don't fully understand everything. I know her spasms are coming closer and closer, meaning her life is shortening ever more quickly. The silence began to kill me. I placed my hands on the blanket. She was closer to the edge then I remembered as I fell her leg beneath my hands. I star at the ring on my hand. The ring in which I put on during a life long promise to her.
"Sig..."
She calls to me as her hand rests over mine. The rings connect as she intertwines her fingers between mine. Her other hand, which was cold, grazed my cheek then slid under my chin, forcing me to look at her. Her eyes were saddened. She was suffering and she knew her suffering was making me suffer. Silence came between us. It killed me to watch her suffer. I stared into her eyes as she stared at me. Each searching the other for questions and answers. Moments later, I feel her head rest against my chest. It didn't take long for me to wrap my arms around her tiny form and hold her close. Once fully out from under the blanket, Izumi knelt on the edge of the bed as she rested her head on my shoulder, arms wrapped around my neck. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold her. Make every better. Take back time and fix everything, prevent anything from happening. But I couldn't. All I could do was hold her and let her know everything would be all right and that I would always be there for her. The whole world disappeared once again as we remained in each other's arms. I wanted this moment, and all moments like this to last forever. But the moment was over too quickly and I felt Izumi lean away from me. I looked into her face and saw a very small smile. Her eyes were partly open as she stared deeply. They were never going to be the bright violet I fell in love with, but I could just make out some color. I remove my arms from behind her and stand up, keeping my eyes on her. "Are you up to food?" I ask as I give her my hand and she took it. "Only if your cooking...?" Izumi cocked her head to the side. I tightened my grip on her hand and helped her from the bed. She grabbed some pants from the dresser and pulled them on, not caring how she looked today. I left the room and she was right on my heel. Hard times will be following us forever until the day comes when she will be relieved of all her suffering. But until then, I would make sure she didn't have to suffer alone.
A/N - This is my idea of what happens every time Izumi has one of her spasms. How much he suffers.
Please review. No FLAMES (Thats Roy's job only). Please look in my profile ooOAnimeChildOoo for all my other stories. And again, thanks for reading.
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever"
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