Imagine if Maxon hadn't laughed at America that night she tried to get his attention? What if things went a little too far with them?
The selection has been going on for nearly two months now, and Maxon is still giving me time. Not because I need time to love him, I already know that I do, but time to think of myself as a princess, and future Queen of a whole Nation. I just can't fathom it, and that is exactly why Maxon is giving me time to think about the huge responsibility. However, I have also lost his trust, and I know his feelings are growing with Kriss, so I must keep his attention somehow.
Luckily, I have the best maids anyone could ask for, and oh boy did I ask, and oh boy did they deliver. They have just handed me a beautiful dress. Red, satin, with a huge slit starting all the way from what looks like the upper thigh. The neckline, oh lord the neckline, I swear to God my mother would slap me silly just for thinking about putting this thing on. The thought makes me smile. That means it's perfect.
"Girls?" Lucy, Anne, and Mary all look at me attentively.
"Yes, America?" They all answer in unison, I am so glad they have gotten over calling me 'Miss'.
"Help me put this beautiful thing on, will you? We have only a little time until dinner." I give them my most devious smile. They know exactly what I am up too, and they are all for the idea, I guess that is why they made me this dress to begin with.
"Of course." They all file in around me, tugging and pulling the dress up. It is form fitting, more form fitting than any dress I have worn thus far. It makes me so nervous, I almost take it off. But no. I must keep it on. I need Maxon to notice me tonight.
Walking into the dining hall that evening made me want to skip with joy, and run away all at the same time. All the remaining elite dropped their forks in complete shock, the Queen looked disappointed, and the King, whom already hates me, was fuming. It didn't matter though, the only person I was looking at was Maxon, who was giving me the same devilish grin I was giving my maids just moments earlier.
I swept into a deep curtsy that showed the slit in my dress amazingly, "I am so sorry that I am late everyone, it took a little longer than usual to get dressed tonight." I giggle, and make my way to my seat, which happens to be right next to Celeste tonight. Ugh.
"You look like a total Whore," She spits at me, "But, I have to say, this is the first time that I actually respect your motives a little." I look at her in complete astonishment. Did Celeste actually just say she respects what I'm doing? Oh no, that means it must be so wrong. The thought makes my stomach churn. What did I just do? I look back up to see Maxon staring at me, and that alone almost makes me feel better, Almost.
I still have a game to play, and whether I like it now, or not, I have chosen my next move, and I have to do it confidently or it will have been for nothing.
When we are done eating, which for me, done eating just a few bites because this dress is far too tight, and the King releases us back to our rooms, everyone is gone besides Maxon and I. I finally gather the courage to look up at him, and he still has that same grin on his face. I can't tell if this is a good thing or not.
"America?" Maxon questions.
"Yes?" I answer back. Maxon slowly lifts his hand to his ear and gives it a tug, I can't help but smile as I return the message. I slowly push my chair back and stand up, sweeping my dress to the side to show my leg. Maxon sucks in a breath, and I can't help but smile. I turn, and without a look back, walk out of the dining hall and to my room. My plan is complete.
I hear a knock at my door, and I have to take a breath before I open it.
What am I doing? Oh what does it matter anymore? I need his attention, and I am about to get it. I excused my maids for the night, so I know that they will not be interrupting us this evening. I cross my room and reach for the door and pull it open.
I can't help but blush at the way he looks at me. "You look, you look stunning America." He scans me up and down, his eyes taking brief pauses at my leg and cleavage before he locks his eyes with mine.
"Do come in, Prince Maxon, I have a special night planned for us." I step aside so he can walk into my room, and he immediately eyes all of the candles I have set up to set the mood. "But first, don't you think we should get comfortable? Could you help me with my dress please?" He spins around.
"America, what are you doing?" He is getting breathless, which is only pushing me further. My hands are shaking, but I can't let him see that I am nervous.
"Maxon, my dress?" I turn around and give him my back, pull my hair over my right shoulder, and give him a backwards glance, "I can't do it myself."
He moves closer to me and holds my hips, and kisses my neck. I sigh at his touch while he works his hands closer and closer to the zipper. Slowly he pulls it down, and I can feel his stiff dress shirt pressed against my bare skin. I turn around and push him towards my bed. When he falls flat on top of my beautiful silk covers, I let my dress fall to the ground.
"America Singer, what are you doing to me?" He can't keep his eyes off of me, and mine are locked onto his.
"Getting your attention." I give him a devilish smirk and kiss him slowly, enticing him. Making him want more. "Will you give it to me? I need it, Maxon." I move my kisses down his neck and slowly unbutton his shirt. "Just for tonight? Nothing too far, just enough to make you really look at me."
He pulls my chin up so that I have to look at him, "You never have to do this to get my attention, I would have to be blind to not be able to see you." This brings tears to my eyes; this is all I wanted to hear. He kisses me slowly and passionately, and finishes the buttons on his shirt and slides it off. I run my hands down his chest, his strong stomach, and place them over his heart, which is racing just as much as mine.
"Maxon, you need to leave, I don't know if I can control myself tonight." I tell him, not looking away once.
"Then don't. Let loose with me, America. If just for tonight. Pretend anything is possible." I know it is wrong. I know we shouldn't, but when he looks at me like that, I just, I just can't say no to him. So, instead I kiss him, and don't stop.
I wake up in the morning with my head on Maxon's naked chest, with my own pressed against his body. This is bliss. Right here, with him, and the feelings hit me so fast I am suddenly light headed, I would do anything for the man lying next to me, even if it means being a Princess. I smile at the thought of waking up every morning like this. I look at his face, which is so peaceful, and just soak it in for a minute. Maxon never sleeps.
His eyes start to flutter open. First, he looks around the room, then meets his eyes with mine. He gives me a warm smile, and kisses my forehead.
"America, I love-" I look up at him, wondering why he stopped, and see something I didn't expect. Complete confusion. "What have we done?" He throws the covers off of us and practically jumps out of bed, and rushes into his clothes, never looking at me. I wrap the sheets around my body and suddenly feel very self-conscious.
What did I do? "Maxon, I… I am so sorry, I don't know what happened." I bury my face in my hands, anything I was feeling a minute ago is long gone now. I feel so ashamed.
"America, we broke the law!" He turns and finally looks at me, "I may be royal, but that doesn't mean I am above it, if anything it means I am strictly expected to follow it! I am dating other women for crying out loud!" He looks around as if he is looking for something to punch, "What if I choose one of them? I feel like I am tied to you now. I feel like the decision is out of my hands now. I have to marry you, now." I snap my head up at this, and my shame turns to anger.
"What? You have to say it like it is the worst option? You asked me to lose control last night, remember?" I shout at him, "It wasn't just me. It was we!" He looks at me with fire in his eyes, stuffs his feet into his dress shoes, and walks to the door.
"No, America, marrying you would not be a bad thing, not even close; however, now I feel like I have too, and that is something that I never wanted to associate with you. Is requirements. Don't call for me, when I am ready to talk about this, I will call for you." With that, he walks out of my room, slamming the door with a loud thud, leaving me wrapped in sheets, with hot tears streaming down my face.
It has been about three weeks since Maxon has spoken to me. I have been trying to honor his wishes, and haven't asked for him once. I haven't even tugged my ear, and he sure hasn't tugged his. He has barely looked at me since that night. I just don't know how to get around this one. I can't not think about how perfect that night was. How perfect we were together; but, if he is going to hate me for it, maybe I need to move on.
Right now, we are sitting in the dining hall, eating breakfast agonizingly slow. I am having to hear Maxon laugh and joke with Kriss and Celeste, as I don't attempt to join in any conversations. I look up to find Maxon looking at, which surprises me, this is the first time in weeks! Maybe? Maybe, he is starting to forgive our mistake. Too soon though he looks away and laughs again at something Celeste says.
Ugh, the thought of Maxon talking to Celeste makes me feel sick to my stomach. No, not just feeling, I think I am actually going to be sick. I don't even bother with asking to be excused, I just grab my stomach and run out of the room and straight to the nearest powder room and throw up everything I had just eaten.
What the heck? I don't feel like I am getting sick, but maybe I am. I shake my head, wash my mouth in the bathroom sink, and make my way back to the dining hall; although, I have lost all my appetite.
"I am sorry for my quick exit, I wasn't feeling well all the sudden." I say, mostly to the Queen.
"It is alright, dear. Do you need to go see the doctor?" She asks me, obviously worried.
"No, your majesty, I think it was just something I ate, I feel much better now." I tell her. She nods her head and goes back to her conversation with the King, leaving me to my own thoughts once again. I can't help but look to Maxon, who has a concerned look on his face, but nothing more than that. I break our contact, and keep my head down until we are released back to our rooms.
It has been about a week since my first episode, and it has happened every day since, and it is starting to make me very, very nervous. I wonder what is wrong with me. It is making me nervous, so I decide to talk to Anne.
"Anne? Can I speak to you privately?" I ask her. Mary and Lucy take this as a que to leave, and Anne comes and sits next to me on my bed. "I am really nervous about my health, I have been throwing up every morning for the past week, and I don't know why. I don't feel sick."
She eyes me curiously, "Well, have you changed your diet recently?"
"No."
"Have you hit your head at all?"
"I don't think so."
"Now, miss, this is going to be personal, but have you and Maxon… well, have you gone all the way yet?"
I gasp, "Anne! That is personal. Too personal!" Why is she even asking me this? Oh. Oh, no. Could it be?
"Anne, what do I do?" I give her a worried look.
"I guess that is a yes, America. I will get you a test so we can be sure, wait here, and don't move, I will be back in a moment." She stands up and makes her way to the door.
"Wait!" I grab her hand, "Anne, please don't say a word to anyone, it was a mistake made way too early. Anne just looks at me and nods her head.
"America, I have come to love you as I would a sister, you can trust me." This bring a tear to my eye as I nod a thank you and watch her walk out my bedroom door. This cannot be happening.
Am I really pregnant?