Azula let her robe fall to the floor where it came to rest at her feet. She stood there for a moment a chill creeping in through the flap of the tent and brushing over the exposed skin of her back. Exposed skin that had seen much abuse. This time the cause was accidental. Both she and Sokka had found that the man was a lot stronger than he thought. She told him to give her his best, to show no mercy, that she could take it. His hardest strike had her sprawled face down in the grass with her back stinging. Even then she insisted for no mercy, for a real enemy would show her none. But for all the strength her proved to show, he also came to show her that he didn't have the heart to truly give her a merciless fight. Even though she'd only joined their group about two weeks ago.
Instead he offered his hand and helped her to her feet. And upon pulling her shirt up, offered her a wince and the inflamed skin surrounding the weeping gash that lie beneath the cloth. "It's fine. I'm fine. Really." She had told him. But both he and Aang had insisted that she go see Katara.
As she passed Toph offered a more pride-saving string of words; "at least I have one other person here, who won't run away crying when we go up against our next enemy."
That was how she found herself dropping to her knees and hunching slightly over. She brushed her hair over her shoulder, exposing the rest of her back and neck, welcoming Katara's cool and gentle touch.
It didn't come right away. Instead the waterbender let out a soft hum followed by a tsk, "you two really did it this time." She dabbed away some of the blood. "Am I gonna have a lot of work to do on my brother too?"
"Probably." Azula confessed.
Katara sighed, "I told you two to take it easy with the training sessions."
"Sorry to disappoint you." Azula waved her hand dismissively.
"You're going to really hurt yourself one day." Katara huffed, her hands now at the base of Azula's spine. The firebender felt a chill run up her spine at the unexpected placement of cool water.
"And that matters to you?" Azula asked, "after everything, shouldn't you be happy to hear that I'm in pain?"
"It does matter to me." Katara replied. "And yeah, maybe I should be. But I'm not. I don't know why but I don't particularly like seeing you hurt." Something in the waterbender's voice told Azula that she wasn't talking about the cuts and bruises she'd been tending, bandaging, and mending in the past few days. Something in her eyes said she wasn't talking about anything physical at all.
Absently, Azula looked down at her wrists, still scarred and raw from her hours chained to the grate. Katara seemed to sense something on her, something that others didn't seem to detect. The girl always did seem to have a way of sensing a sorrowed soul that longed for comfort. And with that sense, Katara always did seem to have a knack for soothing pain.
And willingness to do so.
No matter who that soul belonged to.
Azula felt herself growing hot and rigid. Katara had seen the cracks. She'd seen more than the cracks. She'd seen the princess withering on the ground shrieking and screaming and crying like some enraged animal. She'd seen the princess finally go limp and shrink into a sobbing, helpless mess. And yet the waterbender didn't breathe a word of just how much she saw. Didn't breathe a word about the weakness she and Zuko had brought to the surface. The desperate and frightened look in Azula's eyes.
Not to Aang.
Not to her brother.
She didn't even remind Azula herself.
The firebender brushed her thumb over the scars, feeling weak and embarrassed all over again, as if just thinking of the moment could bring it to the attention of the world.
"Why?" Azula asked at last.
"Because, despite it all, I still don't want to see you hurting yourself..." Katara made as if to continue on but held the last word back. She didn't have to say it, Azula knew that the word left behind was 'again', the waterbender didn't want to see Azula hurt herself again.
"No." Azula replied. "Why did you tell them what you saw? No one would have seen me in the same way, you could have ruined me. You could have taken revenge on me for everything I've done to you. Why wouldn't you?"
Katara's hands dropped, that soft and caring gleam in her wide blue eyes. "Because what would that do for me? You were hurt, you're still hurt. I didn't turn Zuko away…well not in the end…and I won't turn you away either." She tucked Azula's bangs behind her ear. "I've met some truly evil people in the last few years and I don't think that you're one of them."
Azula wrinkled her eyebrows, once again she found herself truly confused. "You don't?"
"No, I don't. If you were truly evil then you wouldn't be here right now."
"I also wouldn't be here right now if I didn't lose everything." Azula confessed. "I'd still be trying to kill you."
"But you did, and you are." Katara repositioned her hands on Azula's back, moving them up slowly. Azula drew in a sharp breath as the first healing sting jabbed into her back. "If you were truly evil then you would have had nothing to lose in the first place. Zuko told me losing Mai and TyLee was a big part of it. If you were truly evil it wouldn't have mattered that they left, but it did because you cared about them. And it broke you…"
Azula scowled at her bluntness, but the waterbender continued on before the princess could vocalize her discontent. "Pure evil doesn't break down and cry like that. Because pure evil can't feel that deeply. Pure evil can't be hurt like that." She felt Katara press a few bandages along her pulsing spine. "Almost done."
Azula let Katara work in silence until all of the things that had been on her mind came to the surface. The conflict that had been eating at her mind for the past two weeks. "You're wrong! I came here to kill you." She finally blurted. "I came here to kill you all." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "That's why I'm here right now. I didn't come to change myself…"
Katara looked up, her eyes meeting Azula's. "You didn't know that you came here to change yourself." She corrected.
"I don't think you understand." Azula snarled. "I was going to do it…I was going to do it today…"
"And that's why you told Sokka not to show you mercy?" Katara lifted an eyebrow. "Because you wanted a fair fight?"
"Something like that." Azula muttered.
"Then why are you here…instead of him? Why are you the one getting healed right now. I've fought you so many times, if you really wanted him dead—if you wanted any of us dead, we would be. You don't want to kill us, Azula. You want to. You need to prove a point."
"So tell me what point do I want to prove to you?" Azula asked.
"To us? None. To yourself, you want to prove that you're strong, powerful. But you don't have to. What you have to do is stop telling yourself that you want to hurt people to feel strong. You have to let your walls down an let people in."
And with those words Azula felt that day coming back to her. Every pitiful emotion, every pathetic weakness. All the same she couldn't swallow her tears down, instead they flowed quite freely down her face. Drop after drop landing on her knees.
Katara lifted Azula's right arm and then her left, sliding her robe back around her. She cupped Azula's chin in her hand. "See, this is how I know that you don't want to hurt anyone. You want people to help you." At this she tugged Azula into her arms, letting the firebender stay there until her weeping slowed.
"I don't." The princess stated upon finding her voice. "I don't want to hurt you."
Katara pressed her lips to the firebender's forehead. "See, was that so hard to admit to yourself."
"It was slightly more painful than the gash on my back."
Katara snorted and after a few minutes of just listening to the firebender fight to get her breathing under control, she grabbed Azula's wrists, stroking the rawest spots with careful fingers. "Your secret is safe with me, until you're ready to let everyone know that you're human like the rest of us." She pressed another soft kiss on the scared flesh.
"Which one?" Azula with the most dignified sniffle she could muster. "Because I can come up with about three."
Katara swept one last tear from Azula's tired eyes. "All of them."