(I ALSO HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE GAY COMMUNITY, POKEMON OR ALEXANDER THE GREAT AND HIS FRIENDS. THIS IS JUST HARMLESS CRACK)
Alexander's pokemon adventure.
A wonderful insight towards ancient pokemon trainers.
Who were probably all gay.
One day in ancient Greece when Alexander was in his room and looking at porno vases without his parents knowing, his mother barged in with an important message.
Olympias: Alexander! I've been telling you for years now that I'm very disappointed that you didn't quit school with that weirdo Aristophenes to become a pokemon trainer!
She had come in with her usual dissapointmnet speech. How he hadn't found a woman yet, or have had any real accomplishment instead of frolicking with other underage boys.
Olympias: You've been sitting on that couch for days and the lawn is a mess! Get yourself out there and make yourself useful for once! You aren't coming back in until I see that grass mowed!
She grabbed Alexanders arm as the porn vase fell and smashed into the ground. At least his mother didn't know why he was so 'high up' at the time but that was a very hot vase. It was painted by Kleopharades because he could paint very sexy men.
Alexander resisted Olympias's pulling but he was thrown outsode anyway.
Alexander: BUT MUUUUUMM! D: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Alexander said while he tried to get back inside. Olympias stopped him by shoving her boobs in his face.
Olympias: What don't I understand, son? This will be a good experience for you!
Alexander:THERE ARE WILD POKEMON IN THE TALL GRASS!
Olympias: Well good. Maybe you'll finally have to drop out of society and stop being such a dissapointment to your father and I.
And with that, she left him there on the doorstep.
Alexander sulked his way down to the front lawn. Pokemon were for girls and straight men who did girls.
SUDDENLY, Proffessor Oak jumped out behind a chariot.
Oak: I see you're starting a pokemon journey! First off, you're going to need a pokemon!
Alexander looked at this man who looked like Clint Eastwood if he decided he wanted to live on a mountain, eating instand noodles and playing with furry animals for forty years, then back to the lawn, which had a couple of pokemon sprawled out on it.
Alexander: Oh. Uhhhh… I want this one.
He says as he picks up a magikarp and points at it.
Oak: No you don't. Trust me.
Alexander: (With tears in his eyes) But we've already bonded. I named him Mr. Fish. His friendship has finally taught me the meaning of love. And he has my scent now, his mummy will never take him back.
Oak: …Whatever kid. Just take this pokedex and try not to hurt yourself.
So and Alexander took off to try their hand at the fighting games. The only way they knew how.
Alexander: (SMASHING SOME RATTATA'S WITH LIKE A CLUB) Oh wow! I didn't think it'd be this easy!
SUDDENLY
Bugcatcher pokemon trainer: HEY YOU LETS BATTLE
Alexanedr: OK
Bugcatcher pokemon trainer: POLIWAG! USE BUBBLEBEAM!
Alexander: (With bubbles popping all over him kinda erotically) OH NOOOO SMASH SMASH SMASH THAT MUTHAFUCKA POLIAG WITH MY GIANT ORANGE
And I guess if you bludgeon enough of those critters into submission…
EVOLVED INTO GYARADOS!
Alexander: FUCKIN' SWEET!
Alexanedr was so happy that he hopped onto his new Gyrados.
Alexander: I'M THE KING OF EVERYTHING!
Alexander then got his pokemon license revoked and was kicked out of the pokemon league because his Gyrados kept on eating all the other pokemon. He was then sent to a masculinity rehabilitaion home.
THE END.
ACTUALLY NOT THE END CAUSE THERES MORE.