Sonic: Hello all. This chapter will detail our initial introduction to Eggman's gamble.

Tails: And how the adventure began.

Knuckles: And why we're talking in sequence?

Sonic: Nope!

Tails: Not until Chapter 49.4!

Knuckles: ...

In A Random Futuristic Human Metropolis In The Year 2007

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were at the diner platform. 10 years had passed since they'd last met for Sonic Adventure 2, ever since SEGA had cloned them for most of the GBA and side-off games. At last, no longer responsible for the supervision of their soon repeatedly dying stunt clones, they had time to spend together. Sets of red chairs, white clothed tables, and a small McNights restaurant stand were grouped together on the massive platform. Sonic, being the fan favorite, happily enjoyed his exquisite dish while the other two grudgingly awaited the waiter to return with their orders...
Knuckles, enraged over the 10-year old Sonic X fan's incompetence..."stood in" for the waiter. Even with a quicker system of meal delivery, their lunch was about to be disrupted again...

Suddenly, a giant TV screen attached to the smallest, most durable invisible wire in existance descended in front of them. The Eggman ensignia was on the screen with the giant, bolded letters EGGMAN beneath it. Everyone gasped, wondering who could possibly have interrupted their lunch with this undeniably oversized television screen.

Eggman's bushy, orange mustache and distinct red lab coat with multiple zippers and hard to pronounce items lined along it's sides and arms. A pair of bright blue glasses glimmeed with the HD screen's sheer clearness, it was so bright all possible witnesses or bystanders were blinded and their cellphone signals disrupted by the electromagnetic waves disrupting them. The group stared, their giant eyes unaffected by the radiation emitting from the screen.

"Good mor-!"

"WAIT JUST A SECOND!" Sonic jumped out of his seat and onto the table, "It's 4'O Clock, goddammit!"

A giant sweatdrop appeared on the back of Eggman's head, he corrected himself, "Okay...Good evening Sonic Her-"

"WAIT JUST A DAMN SECOND!" Knuckles stood up, taking his seat and smashing it against the metallic platform, "Whadda you mean SONIC HEROES!? IT'S KNUCKLES TO YOU, PAL!"

Eggman scratched the back of his head. This had sounded so much better in the simulation...

He coughed, saving face and correcting himself once again. "Okay. Good EVENING. Sonic, TAILS, KNUCKLES. I would like to inform you that I am building a superweapon that will help me conquer the world. This weapon, believe it or not, ISN'T a Death Star rip-off. AND, it will utterly annihilate every single living sentient bei-"

"So it's a Halo ripoff?" Tails lowered his hot cup of tea.

"DAMMIT FOX!" Eggman pinched his forehead.

"Sorry..." apologized Tails.

"As I was SAYING...You won't be able to stop me, so I'm telling you five months before I bring it out of the planning stage, in additon to the six months while it is development. Once I finish it, it will annihilate EVERY single sentient being on this planet except for me! MWAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Umm..."Tails pushed his chair in, "Eggman...?

"WHAT!? WHAT IS IT!? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH THIS GODDAMN BRILLIANT PLAN!!!WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO CRITICIZE YOU MUTANT EXCUSE FOR A FOX!?!?!?!11"

"I'm sorry Doctor...but...that plan is not only highly improbable, it is virtually impossible due to the fact that I have all the Chaos Emeralds stored in the Special Zone, Eggman Nega dosen't exist in the continuinty yet, this a parody so none of your schemes will succeed without completely reversing themselves unto you, and Metal Sonic will most likely malfunction,attempt to betray you , and leave you with no choice but to side with us again...just like Chaos, Gemerl, Shadow, The Ark, and The BioLizard. Also, if you're trying to RULE the world, then how come you're going to destroy it"?

Eggman began to chew his fingernails, 'Damn! How did they know I was going to use Metal Sonic this time!?'

Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic all held up their own copies of Sonic Heroes. Eggman's hover disengaged itself and promptly tipped on it's axis, tossing Eggman onto the ground. Landing on his ass, he clutched his head in irritation and confusion.

"You see Doctor..."

"Erg...I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! THINK YOU CAN STOP ME!" Eggman unveiled a small handheld radio, "Here is the FIRST in a series of pointless, side missions that will guide you on your way to stopping my mad creation! I have planted approximately 30 radio antennas and 2 music generators in this city. They will play MY theme song, E.G.G.M.A.N! Destroying one generator will save, or rather satanize, one side of the city. Good luck!"

Eggman took off, hopping off the platform and hopefully into a readily prepared hovercar on STANDYBY.

Much to his alleged claim, music began to play:

The story begins
With who's gonna WIN,
Knowin' the danger
That lies within!

Aboard the ARK
A genius at heart
Wanting to unlock
the mysteries of life

"Oh butternuts..." Sonic's left eye began to twitch.

I AM THE EGGMAN!

The words boomed through the city like a rocket, it was as if stereos were moving about the metropolis over projecting the awful, synchronized sound. Tails and Knuckles collapsed at the dreaded theme song that burned holes in their ear sockets, like a drill burrowing into the broad side of your forehead. Sonic covered his ears, his built-up tolerance for such wretched lyrics from SA2 could only aid him so far. He had to get of there...fast...

"Screw this." Knuckles struggled to seperate his arms from his ears, but then just began running, "I'm getting out of here!"

"Me too!" Tails followed.

Sonic, head glowing redder and redder, at last, surrendered to his instincts.

"HEY! WAIT UP GUYS!" he screamed, racing out of Metropolis after them.

Little did they know of the obese man, hanging on for dear life on the edge of the platform. How he could he have forgotten to bring an extra life!?