Title: Never Too Late
Author: Dark Angel Kaos
Fandom: Naruto
Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto
Rating: PG 16
Warnings: Shounen ai, angst, language, attempted suicide, OC, OOC-ness, AU, fluff, un-beta'd
Genre: angst, school life
Disclaimer: Don't own…
Summery: Naruto's life is one big mess. He's poor and lives in the slumps, an outcast at school & home, barely have any friends and to top it all off he's in love with the most popular boy in school. Even with his life as a disaster he still smiles but is there anyone who can see through his fake smile to his poor tortured soul that is so close to breaking?
A/N: I'm just trying my hand in an angsty oneshot. Hopefully I live up to ya'll expectations. Dedicated to my previous beta Kinatsurune, thank you for hints and help with my writing! P.s I love Evanescence!
Enjoy!
"Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside,
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels with out,
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow,
Oh, but god I want to let it go."
Lithium – Evanescence.
Crystal clear blue eyes scanned the hallway for any sign of his raven haired crush. When he saw that he was no where to be seen he internally groaned. 'I came early to see him too…' he sighed turning down the semi-empty halls to get to his locker. It wasn't time for first period so maybe, just maybe he might be able to get his books and head to class without any hassle.
He stopped before a messy broken down locker, graffiti in the form of spray paint marred every inch of it. Words such as 'loser', 'freak' and the ever popular and most frequently used 'monster' stared back at him in angry red, scrutinizing him and belittling him. Yet the blond just smiled. He was the butt of most of everyone's antagonizing fun and it didn't bother him, not one bit. They'll eventually grow out of it and leave him alone, but that didn't look like it would be happening anytime soon.
"Stay low.
Soft, dark and dreamless,
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness,
I hate me,
For breathing without you,
I don't want to feel anymore for you."
Like you – Evanescence.
"….ma…ki…ruto…"
Azure eyes tried to focus on what was before him.
"Uzumaki Naruto!"
He blinked.
"Huh?"
A figure appeared before him and he blinked once more to adjust his mind to reality. With his thoughts cleared he was able to make out the very angry face of his Math practice teacher.
"Uzumaki Naruto, go stand in the hall."
"Wait, what? I didn't do anything!" Naruto protested. This was beyond unfair.
Laughter erupted throughout the classroom.
The teacher snorted.
"You weren't paying attention in class, now outside!"
With a sigh Naruto got up, he flashed the teacher a blinding smile, which caught him a little off guard.
"Whatever you say, teach."
He turned from his desk and walked to the door, while his back acted as target practice to the many flying projectiles in which the teacher did nothing about. It didn't bother Naruto, after all it was barely a physical wound; those didn't bother him in any way. He staggered in his step a little when he felt something hard hit the back of his head, but he didn't falter he continued walking until he was outside, where the laughter of his tormentors could not be heard.
The smile on his face didn't waver, if for one it strengthened due to one fact only: his crush wasn't laughing at him like the rest of his classmates. That alone gave him the strength he needed to endure that bout of torture he went through.
Something wet and sticky trailed down his neck and he raised his hand to touch it.
It was blood.
"So far away,
It's growing colder without your love.
Why can't you feel me calling your name?
Can't break the silence,
It's breaking me."
Your Star – Evanescence.
Lunch was another event that was avoided all together. There were certain things that he avoided at school, those included: coming early for homeroom and class sessions – when the teacher isn't there it was hell – and most of all lunch. Going to the lunchroom was like going to a torture session. He'd be ridiculed and mocked until the smile he hides behind breaks and without it he was vulnerable.
"Oi loser not going to lunch?"
Naruto stopped. 'A normal day to day exchange.' He turned to face the person behind him, a smile in place.
"I'm not hungry," a simple reply, hopefully he could leave.
"Eh? The fag's not hungry. What a surprise!" the girl sneered, her brown eyes looked at Naruto as if he was something utterly disgusting.
Naruto just shrug and made his way to leave but a hand that gripped his wrist held him in place.
"Oi, we didn't say you could leave," she pushed Naruto against the wall, "so fag I see you've taken a liking to my cousin. I'd advise you to direct your filthy eyes elsewhere or else I might just have to pluck them out."
Naruto didn't even bat an eye at the threat. He gets threats one a daily basis, it wasn't new to him. What was the worst they could do? Kill him?
"I don't know what you're taking about," Naruto tried to play innocent, but that ended up getting him a fist to the face. Even with his bloodied lip he continued to smile.
"Wipe that fucking smile off your face freak."
One of the boys punched him sending him straight to the floor. He punched him again and again when the blonde's smile wouldn't falter. This made him pissed and he began raining heavy punches and kicks on the blonde's lithe body. The girl stood by and watched as her four mindless cronies rendered the still smiling blond to nothing more than a bloodied heap.
"What the fuck are you doing Hanami?"
The girl ordered the boys to stop and she turned to face the person who addressed her, meeting his intense onyx eyes.
"Nothing Sasuke, just putting a freak in his place," Hanami replied. She turned back to Naruto who was laid motionless on the ground and spat in his face. "The fag deserved it."
Sasuke looked at her confused then his gaze shifted to her feet, the first thing he saw was a mess of blond hair.
"Shit Hanami, what the fuck?" he hurried over pushing her out of his way. "Is something fucking wrong with you?" he stooped down to the wounded blond who still had a smile on despite the state he was in. "Hey are you alright?"
Naruto tried to answer but it hurt too much – it seemed Hanami's goons managed to get a few kicks in on his windpipe – so he nodded instead with his blinding smile still in place. Sasuke however couldn't believe the strength of the blond, even through all of that he still had a smile on his face. Anger flooded his veins.
"Hanami, why the fuck did you do this?" he glared up at his cousin who just shrugged.
"The freak deserved it," was her only reply before she and her cronies left to go get lunch.
Sasuke would have loved it if he had slapped his obnoxious cousin across her face, but as circumstances have it, he needed to get the blond to a nurse. He reached into his pocket and took out his handkerchief offering it to the blond. Nobody deserved to have Hanami's germs on their face. 'No one deserved to be treated like this.'
"Hey Naruto, can you stand?"
Naruto nodded and took the handkerchief. The blush on his face matched his blood that spotted his white shirt. He wiped the saliva from his left cheek and pocketed the handkerchief; he'd go home and wash it then bring it back to him.
"…-ght back?"
Naruto blinked the question that was asked lost in the air. Sasuke seeing this repeated the question.
"Why don't you fight back?"
Cobalt eyes hazed over with confusion for a while before sadness clouded his vision. The look of another emotion in those stormy blue eyes caused Sasuke to gasp. 'So beautiful…'
"Even if I fight back," he struggled to say, "they won't stop. It'll get worst." the smile was back and at full force.
Sasuke felt sick at the sight of the smile that was directed at him. He wanted to yell at him and wipe that disturbingly happy smile off his face and ask 'your situation is beyond fucked up, why the hell are you so happy?' But he grabbed a hold of Naruto's hands and pulled him forward.
"Come one, let's get those wounds checked."
"And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall,
Pour real life down on me,
`cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough,
Am I good enough for you to love me too?"
Good Enough – Evanescence.
The smile Naruto wore was different than his usual. This smile actually held a spec of happiness that the others lacked. He was actually genuinely happy for once. Why? Because his crush Uchiha Sasuke – the most popular guy in school – actually acknowledged him, and gave him his handkerchief. Sure it was just to wipe his cousin's spit off his face but Sasuke gave him his handkerchief and that counted for something.
He felt as if the world was looking up and that he'd no longer be beleaguered by the entire school body or the world for that matter. Maybe that was going a bit overboard, but hey he was that happy and that was something that didn't happen in a long time. To him nothing could go wrong and that was the attitude he brought with him when he stepped into the classroom.
Voices from inside assaulted his ears making him stop in his tracks, he stopped and hid by the door to avoid being spotted by those inside.
"Why are you concerning yourself with the fag?" that's was no doubt Hanami's voice.
"What do you mean?"
Naruto's heart beat sped up at the sound of the second voice. 'Sasuke!' A coat of red instantly dusted his cheeks.
"Stop playing dumb Sasuke!" Hanami yelled. "You're always protecting the little fag. If you keep doing that, people will talk."
A snort from Sasuke.
"It's my job, I signed up for that mentor a freshman crap that the seniors have to participate in and I got matched with him. So it's not like I'm doing it because I want to."
At that Naruto froze. 'He…doesn't care…about me?'
"So that's why?" Hanami gave a sigh of relief. "Here I thought that you might have liked the fag."
"Where the hell did you get that idea from?" Sasuke snorted, "I don't like the dobe, hell that doesn't even compare to what I feel for the moron."
Naruto couldn't take hearing anymore. He dropped the handkerchief and ran as far as he could without looking back. For once in his entire life he felt the weight of all that he kept at bay crashing down on him. He wasn't wanted, no one cared for him. Maybe they were right, maybe he would be better off if he never existed. His existence only brings him pain.
"And I'm all alone now,
Me and all that I stand for,
We're wondering now,
All in parts in pieces,
Swim lonely, find your own way out."
Your Star – Evanescence.
He felt numb and broken. There was nothing left for him to piece back together. He was officially broken beyond repair. Somehow he felt that would have been his end. When his smile was officially gone and there was nothing left, what would he do then? With no family or friends he was alone from the start.
'Alone…' the word scared him. He never once thought or acknowledged that he was alone but now that he did, he realized how pitiful he really was. Everyone was born to be wanted but he wasn't, he was the accidental spawn of a serial killer and a prostitute. Therefore he was doomed from the start. Unwanted by the world and the only one who he thought cared for him…didn't.
A single tear trailed down his cheek. If this was a world where he wasn't wanted then, he didn't want to be here. He made a right turn and headed up the flight of steps that led to the roof. A smile crossed his lips mirroring his poor broken soul.
"I was doomed to be alone from the start, ne…Sasuke?"
"In a dream,
Will you give your love to me?
Beg my broken heart to beat,
Save my life,
Change my mind."
Cloud Nine – Evanescence.
Sasuke growled in annoyance at his cousin before him. Was there a point to any of this? Damn he didn't have any fucking time to waste! His stupid cousin was keeping him from his job, he needed to find and keep an eye on Naruto.
"Why are you concerning yourself with the fag?"
Oh how Sasuke wanted nothing more than to punch his moronic cousin's face in, even if she was a girl. 'If he is a fag, what would that make me? A fag too? Since I already fell for him.'
"What do you mean?" he decided to play dumb. 'Ha take that.'
"Stop playing dumb Sasuke! You're always protecting the little fag. If you keep doing that, people will talk."
Sasuke snorted, why the hell should he concern himself with what people say? He didn't give one shit; they could talk all they want he could care less. Plus he was sure Naruto didn't care either. 'Hmm let's play around with dear cousin Hana shall we.'
"It's my job, I signed up for that mentor a freshman crap that the seniors have to participate in and I got matched with him. So it's not like I'm doing it because I want to."
Hanami seemed to buy it as she sighed in relief.
"So that's why? Here I thought that you might have liked the fag."
Sasuke smirked, 'now to real the sucker in.'
"Where the hell did you get that idea from?" Sasuke snorted to make an effect. "I don't like the dobe, hell that doesn't even compare to what I feel for the moron."
"That's good to hear."
Oh no, Sasuke wasn't about to leave it like that, he wasn't one to hide the truth. Now that he fed he the lies it was time to force fee he the truth.
"Do you want to know what I feel for Naruto?"
Hanami nodded even though she didn't liked the fact that he cousin said the fag's name. Sasuke gave her his best domineering smirk.
"I love him."
Brown eyes blinked in confusion.
"Wait a minute, I'm sure I didn't hear right," there was no way she just heard that her cousin loved that fag.
"Are you deaf? I said I love Naruto," Sasuke glared at her as if daring her to say something. "And before you start yapping crap, nothing you say can change my mind."
He turned to leave.
"But why? You could have anyone…you could have m–"
"You?" Sasuke interrupted. "Heh unless you somehow lose those disgusting breasts(1) and grow a dick I'll never go out with you. Now, be a good little cousin and leave Naruto the fuck alone," his voice took on an icy undertone. "If I hear that you've so much as look at Naruto the wrong way, I'll do a number on that long silky hair you love and treasure so much."
Hanami paled at the harshness in Sasuke's voice, but that soon turned into anger as she realized that Sasuke – her crush from so long – chose some loser fag over her.
"Sasuke! Why are you doing this? Choosing that monster over your own family!"
Sasuke stopped in his tracks and turned to face Hanami. The frown that settled on his face instantly shut her up.
"You all call him a monster, but he's more human than any of you will ever be," with that said he walked out, leaving Hanami in the empty classroom. Her tears barely acknowledged by him.
Once he stepped out the door something on the ground caught his eyes. He stooped down to inspect the neatly folded cloth. It was blue and it resembled the handkerchief he gave to…'Oh my god!' He jumped to his feet feeling pure dread washing over his body.
"Shit!" 'Did you hear the lies, Naruto?'
"Grieving for you,
I'm not grieving for you,
Nothing real love can't undo,
And though I may have lost my way,
All paths lead straight to you."
Like you – Evanescence.
Sasuke couldn't think, all that was on his mind was that he needed to find Naruto. He wasn't in his homeroom class and that scared him even more. 'Where are you Naruto?'
He had never been as panicked as he was now. If Naruto did hear him say all that about him – plus he doubt Naruto stuck around to hear the rest – he wasn't sure what he'd do. There was no telling what the blond would do either, but he hoped it wasn't something too drastic.
'Nothing too drastic…' his thoughts trailed off and he stopped in his tracks. He just realized something, the reason why Naruto's smile always rubbed him the wrong way. Now that he thought about it, with a mental visual he realized that Naruto's smiles never reached his eyes.
'How could I not notice that?' he was angry at himself, after all he was always watching him. How could he not notice the intensity of the suffering that Naruto had been going through on a daily basis? How could he not notice that all his smiles were…fake? If anything happened to Naruto it would be his fault, because he didn't notice a thing.
Now he felt that he should be worried, as he knew Naruto is capable of doing anything, and suicide was now a likely option. As if it was he that was in his place that would have been the alternative he'd choose.
"Naruto…please don't do anything…please."
"Halo,
Blinding wall between us,
Melt away and leave us alone again,
Humming, haunted somewhere out there,
I believe our love can see us through death.
Like You – Evanescence
His steps quickened up the stairway that lead to his freedom. That was what he craved for, freedom from everything that bound him to this world. There was nothing that held him back anymore. The only person that he thought mattered and cared for him, was just a lie.
A humorless chuckle passed his lips as tears rained from his eyes. An unwanted bastard child that was what he was. He can't really say that he lived a good life, hell life will continue on without him there. No one would miss him if he suddenly died; it would just be like he never existed. After all he never made any lasting impressions on anyone's life, so no one will miss or remember him.
He doubted they'll have a funeral for him. Not that he wanted one. Funerals were for celebrating life, there was nothing about his life that should be celebrated. He was a failure as a student and a human being. Someone like him was just worthless and unable to be loved. He was just a monster and monsters deserved to be destroyed.
His hands gripped the metal of the protective fence tightly and he hoisted himself up and over. He was now standing on the ledge staring down at the empty field below. It rivaled the empty hollow look that reflected in his eyes. The once bright azure orbs now a dead pool of blue.
He took a small breath and in slight morbid fascination he wondered how it would feel to fall from a nine storey building to the hard concrete below. Would he die instantly? Or would he suffer a lot of broken bones and then die slowly? Only one way to find out and that was to jump, that way he'd see which of the theory was correct.
He closed his eyes and spread his arms akimbo. Perhaps when he takes flight, he'll resemble an angel descending from the heavens.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb?
Without a soul,
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold.
Until you find it there and lead it back…home."
Bring Me To Life – Evanescence.
'Oh please no, don't do it Naruto!' Sasuke's mind was frantic; he heard from some passer bys that they saw Naruto not to long ago running in the direction of the roof. That could only mean two things:
He might be up there to clear his head. Or…
Suicide.
And right now the suicide option was greatly surpassing the other one.
Naruto was fragile – even if he didn't seem like it – and from what Sasuke could tell Naruto was the type to latch on to whatever was important to him. The only thing Naruto seemed to treasure was his slightly weird relationship that he had with him, and now with that thought of to be a lie, he was sure Naruto was close to breaking…or was already broken beyond repair. If that was the case he'd fix him. It was his fault and he'd do what ever it takes to make everything right again.
'This time instead of protecting Naruto from afar I promise to be there for him. I won't let anything hurt him. So please, please let me make it in time.'
As he climbed the steps leading up to the roof, the panic he felt within his chest increased and he quicken his steps taking them two stairs at a time. He pushed the door open just in time to see Naruto leaning forward with his arms akimbo. To him he resembled an angel.
'No, no, no, no!' he dashed forward as quickly as he could to the metal fencing and reached forward grabbing Naruto by his forearms. He pulled him back to the protective fencing holding him tightly against his chest.
A shocked ridden Naruto began struggling. He thought it must be a teacher that stumbled up on him and was trying to stop his suicide attempt. But he wouldn't stand for any interruptions, it wasn't a suicide attempt. It was a way for him to finally be free and he'd be damned if he let anyone interrupt him.
"Let me go! Let me go damn it!" he cried, his voice desperate and hoarse from the beating he got from Hanami goons a few days ago.
"Shut up dobe!" Sasuke yelled. "There is no way I'm letting you die!"
Naruto instantly froze.
"Sasuke…?" tears welled up in his eyes. "Why are you here? Just leave me alone! I don't want to see you!"
"No!" Sasuke yelled, he held on to the flailing Naruto for dear life, scared that if he let go Naruto would leave him for good. "I won't leave you alone again! Not anymore."
"What…do you mean?" Naruto asked, it didn't make any sense. Sasuke…Sasuke doesn't care for him…he didn't like him so why? Why is he doing this? "Why? I don't understand."
Sasuke took a deep breath, 'it's now or never.'
"Because I love you Naruto," he replied. "I always have and I always will. Ever since the time we met all those years ago."
Naruto remembered that time, it was back when he was thirteen and Sasuke was sixteen. It was raining and Sasuke had gotten into some difficulties with his car. He got caught in a deep ditch in front of his apartment. Naruto had helped Sasuke pushed his car out of the ditch and offered him a place to stay to wait out the rain. It was the day he fell in love for the first time. That day he realized that even someone like him could love, and if he was able to love that means he could be loved too. He wasn't a monster like everyone says.
He turned to face Sasuke, tears flooded down his cheeks in gallons, and his eyes; a mirror into his soul. Sasuke could see how truly broken Naruto was, 'it's up to me to fix that.' He vowed to himself that he would. He'd fix everything and make sure Naruto smiled; a genuine one.
"Naruto, you don't have to believe me," Sasuke whispered as he locked eyes with those brilliant blue. "But I want you to; I want you to believe in me. So please, I love you so much I can't even be in the same room as you without feeling the urge to embrace you," he hugged Naruto to emphasize his point. "I never wanted to leave you alone; it was because of my urges. To taint someone as pure and innocent like you was something I didn't want to do, so I had to stay away. But I promise I will never leave you alone anymore. Now I see that that does more damage than my touching you would ever do," he stroke Naruto's hair gently. "Please Naruto stay with me, don't you dare give up. We'll fight this together."
Naruto couldn't control himself it was as if the years of tears he'd kept bottled up inside was making its way out. His snot and tears soaked Sasuke's white shirt but he didn't mind it. Naruto couldn't believe it, his crushed liked him, and he was alone as he'd thought before. Someone actually gave a damn whether he lived or died.
He wasn't dreaming or anything Sasuke had actually said 'I love you' more than once. The one thing he needed was right before him. He tightened his grip on Sasuke as if he'd disappear if he let go.
"I love you, I love you, I love you…" the words were said over and over like a mantra, the intense love radiated off him in waves.
Sasuke gave a small smile in reply rubbing Naruto's back in smooth small circles, as the blond hiccupped. The happiness he felt evident in his voice.
"I know," he whispered softly. "It'll be alright I promise."
He promised he'd never hurt or leave him alone, and despite what everyone told him that he'd always be alone, he would never let that happen. 'I'll always be there for you Naruto.'
"I love you, Naruto."
Naruto smiled, it was bright and it reflected the happiness that his heart and body felt. "I love you too, Sasuke."
'No matter what they told you,
You're not alone,
I'll be right beside you,
Forever more."
Like You – Evanescence.
Owari (_ _)
A/N: (1) it's not like I got anything against boobs I mean I have a pair of watermelons myself and I am a lover of chicken breast (*drools* baked chicken breast is the best…man I'm hungry now…) just pointing that out heheh, yeah I know I'm weird…
And the end, ah I seriously didn't plan it that way but ah meh, whenever has anything I do go according to plan? Well this was a little angsty albeit a little fluffy (well more fluffy), but ah well that's the way the cookie crumble.
Speaking of which let me mention: Naruto is a freshman and Sasuke is a senior in high school (duh ya'll know that already I mean you did read the fanfic). So the scene where everyone was laughing at Naruto when the teacher kicked him out and Sasuke wasn't will be explained here: Sasuke is the student council president and the Math teacher is a practice teacher, basically it was time for the Math teacher's evaluation (evaluations usually happens at my school). There were no teachers available so Sasuke volunteered to do it. Well I ah hope that explained it and yeah Sasuke is three years older that Naruto *readers roll eyes with a 'what-the-heck-is-she-talking-about-of-course-we-knew-already!' look*
Heheh so ah I hope ya'll enjoyed reading this! (_ _ ) Thank you and review pwetty pwease! Tell me what you all think k! I might write another oneshot depicting how they met on that rainy day…hmm maybe I will. Ah look forward to that one in the near future k!
Ja na!
Kaos
