Hamlet Hidden Rendezvous
If Alfred F. Jones could think of one word to describe his life at the moment, he knew that it would definitely be: "indecisive".
Having been born a child of what were considered "middle class" parents, he grew up with very little problems. Of course, everything could only stay the same for a short period of time; change, after all, did not bend its rules for even the nicest child. Over the years, he noticed his parents' loving gestures transform into grotesque actions screaming "hate"; his father had left soon after, leaving Alfred as the head of the household. Soon after that, he was moved from his exclusive private school, to a simpler and smaller public one.
At this school, he put up a front. "Happy", "outgoing", "a 'hero' of sorts"; all just titles he claimed for his empty shell of a body. However, though his anti-socialism, he miraculously made one friend – well, someone who he wanted to be friends with very much.
Matthew Williams.
He didn't speak much, so Alfred knew nothing about him except his name. Matthew wore black and red most days – all days. Rumours had circulated that he was part of a "not so nice" group in their town. Not only that, but according to these rumours, Matthew was the ringleader. Nevertheless, Alfred had begun to develop romantic feelings towards the other boy.
Matthew had one friend, this, "Arthur" character. Annoying, loud, angry almost all the time in class…
Alfred wondered how he was ever going to get close to Matthew with this obstacle blocking his path.
It would take some time; this, he knew. What did he have to lose? He basically had nothing now anyways.
He was going to take this chance.
"…Alfred!" His mother called, semi-sweetly, "…you need to get to school early! Breakfast is ready on the table, and I'll be out for work!"
Without even a "good bye", Alfred heard the door shut close. He was used to the "new" schedule: wake up, get changed, eat breakfast, survive life. The same old melody; a record stuck on replay.
Alfred sighed, lazily dragging his feet across the carpeted floor of his room, "…ugh…"
He opened his closet, taking out his brown leather jacket, a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Quickly, he threw them on, and then proceeded to consuming the random slop his mother had cooked up for breakfast.
At least he had a goal set for today.
It was the same goal he had every day; but, still a goal nonetheless.
"Get Matthew to notice me."
Sure, they were simple to say, but many times he had tried; and many times, he failed.
"This time…" he mumbled to himself, "…it'll be different; this time."
"Late again! Mr. Jones, that's the second Saturday of this month's detention schedule." The principal wrote up a slip, ripping it from a pad of paper and handed it to Alfred, "Let's learn from our mistakes this time, alright?"
"…Yes, sir…"
Alfred didn't care much about the detention slip, or the fact that he was late. Matthew always arrived around this time, and no one ever gave him a slip!
Perhaps it was because everyone felt threatened by him.
He shook the thought from his mind, "…spare, first block. I guess I could roam around the school for a little while…"
Walking through the cafeteria, Alfred found his usual spot in the corner free, and slumped down onto the seat; letting his books fall down onto the table in a loud thud. He began drumming his fingers on the table's surface, a stable beat playing through the quiet mess hall.
Usually he would nap, or, if something exciting happened, he'd watch it play out.
Luckily for him, this was one of those "exciting" days.
Mostly because, Matthew had just walked into the cafeteria.
Yes, his heart did beat faster.
Yes, he wanted to approach him.
Yes, he followed through with that plan.
Yes, he was ignored thoroughly by the person he had a crush on.
And yes, he had just walked in with Arthur.
Something inside Alfred flared; an inner firework full of rage and envy that only pure jealousy could ignite; colours of pure green, fires so hot that even ice wouldn't have time to melt.
That was how he felt at the moment.
It upset him to a point where Alfred couldn't finish his lunch, or worse, he would not even eat for days; the grotesque feeling filling him up so much that he could not even process what was going on at the current moment.
If only he had stepped in between them when he had first arrived at the school; Arthur was just an exchange student. It wasn't fair. Was he always like this? Was something wrong with him?
He liked keeping things separate; even at his old school, his small groups of friends were separated; they never spoke outside their groups, never mingled, and he liked it just like that.
If only he could convert such an emotion into something much simpler to handle! Or to latch it onto something; lock it away, better yet, get rid of the feeling completely.
He hated it so much. Alfred rarely felt such painful waves wash through him. However, this time he was on the verge of depression.
Afraid that the duo might catch him staring, he quickly averted his eyes and looked down at his books.
"Crying…is for the weak…" He mumbled out, tracing the words on his text book lightly with the tip of his mechanical pencil, "…My name…" he paused, "…my…name…?"
He sighed, tossing his pencil to the side, "…my name is Alfred F. Jones…and the thing that I hate most about myself?"
He closed his books and angrily walked out of the cafeteria.
"…is that I'm a very selfish person."