Nobody ever tells you how quickly you grow up, although it happens so gradually you don't realize it until one day you're sitting at your future sister-in-law's house having a fifteen minute long conversation about air fresheners. You can remember your parents telling you to enjoy your youth, that one day you would be all grown up and miss being young, but all you wanted was to be a grown-up. Then, you're finally there, paying bills and thinking about retirement savings, wishing your biggest worry was making it home in time to watch Power Rangers.
It starts when you're young, too young to tell what's happening. You get to pick whether you want chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger from McDonald's, then you have the option of wearing shorts or a skirt to school. You're allowed to walk to the bus stop alone. You have to call your mother the morning after you stay the night at a friend's. You're encouraged to apply for a part-time job. You start saving for a car. You start highlighting ads in Auto Trader. You take Driver's Ed and barely pass. You get your first ticket and have to pay it all by yourself. You enroll yourself your senior year. You call the pharmacy to renew your birth control prescription. You start looking at colleges. You write essays to get into those colleges. You call your car insurance man to cancel because you found a cheaper rate.
You move out of your parents' house. You shop for the cheapest groceries. You sit on your garage sale couch eating undercooked spaghetti thinking how grown up you are. You don't turn your heat on until it snows to save money, and then you pick up extra shifts at work to pay the bill. You're excited to buy a clearance-rack shirt because you haven't gotten new clothes since you lived with your parents. You write professional e-mails to a dean at your community college asking for a class substitution. You call the insurance company to see why they denied payment on your last doctor's visit. You take a pregnancy test. You buy nicer curtains. You go on a vacation to the lake you saved up for.
You move back in your parents' house because your boyfriend lost his job. You start working two jobs. He leaves you. Your dad holds you as you cry and you feel young again, until the next morning when you start sorting your things from your ex's. You find another boyfriend. You drink at parties. You stay out until the sun says hello. You make car payments. You become assistant manager at your job. You move in with your new boyfriend. You buy new tires for your car. You call customer service to complain. You save money to go to Las Vegas. You gamble for the first time. You win. You get engaged. You get a flat tire on the way back home. You get in a fight with your fiancé. You start planning a wedding. You pay more bills. You look for the cheapest gas station. You cancel a credit card because the ARP is too high. You call the insurance company again. You get more speeding tickets. Your car insurance goes up. Your back always hurts. You lose touch with friends. You work more and more. You study. You pay more bills. You get yelled at by your boss. You pay more car payments. You order checks. You call the front office to have your dishwasher fixed. You buy stamps. You cut coupons out of the newspaper. You pay more bills.
As you drive one day you think about conversations you've had with your fiancé: why you like a certain soap because of how much it lathers, what color to paint the living room that will match the furniture, the fact that you washed the shower curtain liner so you wouldn't have to buy a new one. These are not the type of conversations you would have been having fifteen years ago. And then it hits you. You're a grown up. And you cry.