Disclaimer: I own nothing—that pleasure is all J.K. Rowling's.
Author's Note: This is going to be the only chapter of this story. I wanted us to take a peek at Sirius's Azkaban life through his interactions with these "clippings," not follow him through all the troubles and trials he faced while in there. Enjoy!
ClippingsAzkaban was unusually silent that day. There was an inspection, and everyone felt threatened to be on their best behavior for the psychizards and Ministry officials—maybe they'd even be considered for release. Most wouldn't be. Most were stuck in there for the rest of their natural lives or unless they received the dreaded dementors' kiss. Sirius had no hope for release, and, at his worst times, did not wish for it. Only in his small cell in Azkaban could his own guilt bounce against the walls and hit him, over and over.
"Sirius Black," a tired-sounded man got his attention. Sirius turned his head.
"I'm Psychizard Roger. I'll be interviewing you today." The dementor allowed him in. Roger scanned Sirius's body with his wand. "You've lost fifteen pounds since last year, and you have quite a case of exhaustion."
"It's rather hard to sleep here," Sirius answered dryly. "Bloody Death Eaters calling for their master all day and night, not to mention being afraid the dementors guarding the door will get a notion to give me the kiss."
"You don't think you deserve that?" Roger leafed through a file. "Oh, that's right, you're innocent, Mr. Black. Just like everyone else in here."
Sirius didn't have the energy or inclination to respond.
Roger took out several pieces of parchment covered in series of inkblots. "I want you to tell me what you see in each of these, first thing that comes to your mind." He held up the first.
"Butterfly." Another. "Vase." Another. "A couple kissing." Another. "Two bears fighting." Another. "A baby." Sirius stopped. "Harry," he whispered. He jerked his head to peer at his psychizard, who watched him intently. "What can you tell me about my godson?" He tried to get information whenever he could.
"Why should I tell you anything?"
"What can it hurt?" Sirius asked, keeping the sarcasm out of his voice.
After a pause, Roger obliged. "He's not in the papers much since he's not in our world. He goes to a muggle school for something called Pre-K. He's by himself a great deal. His aunt and uncle give him a lot of chores to do. That's all I know."
"Harry's birthday is Friday—he'll be five," Sirius mused. He turned back to Roger. "Those muggles...are they good to him?"
Roger snorted. "Better than you'd have been. You'd have chucked him in a river the instant you had him."
Sirius closed his eyes at the thought. If only he had the energy to hit the man at the very suggestion. "No."
"No? You didn't mind giving Harry and his parents over to You-Know-Who, did you? Why the change of heart?"
"That was Peter Pettigrew, not me!" Sirius mustered the energy to declare, impassioned. "He should be here now."
"Well, unfortunately, all that's left of him is a finger in a box on his mother's mantle, so that's impossible, isn't it?" Roger's voice was icy. "Let's finish your testing."
When the inkblots were done, Sirius spotted the newspaper under Roger's arm. "May I have the paper? I miss the crossword."
"You say that to everyone who comes, Black. Someday I'm going to get very rich writing a book called Murderers and Crossword Puzzles." Nevertheless, he handed over the paper, a quill, and left.
Just as he did when he was an auror, Sirius read through each article, searching for anything suspicious. Apparently, the wizarding world had a new celebrity, some self-centered prat called Gilderoy Lockhart. Not too interesting. Sirius wound up flipping back to the crossword. He took his time. He wished he could stay occupied forever. The hint for Forty-Eight stopped him: The Boy Who Lived. Sirius slowly filled in the five blocks with a series of letters that meant a great deal to him: H-A-R-R-Y.
Shortly before the Potters had gone into hiding, Sirius, James, Lily, Harry, and Remus had been together in the Potters' living room. Peter hadn't been able to make it. Harry crawled and rolled around on the carpet while his parents and friends laughed and reminisced about happier times.
After a particularly funny incident involving Snape's books chasing him down the hall, Sirius asked, "What's Snivellus up to now, anyway? "I haven't heard anything about that git in ages." Lily shook her head in amusement and disgust at the nickname for Snape.
"I haven't heard," Remus said.
"Having separation anxiety, Padfoot?"
Sirius, repulsed, said, "Not in the least. I'm glad he's kept his great greasy nose out of our business the past couple years."
Lily looked down at the rug, mouth opening and eyes widening. "Where's Harry? He was right here!" The floor all stood up and peered around the room. James took the kitchen; Lily, the hallway. Sirius got on his knees and looked under the couch where he'd been sitting.
"Either you two have a very large dust bunny, or I've found him!" He called over his shoulder, laughing. "Come on, Harry, come see Padfoot for a minute." Harry was on his back, rubbing the cloth on the underside of the couch. He gave Sirius a playful look and then went back to his game.
"Oh, that's how it's going to be, is it?" Sirius thrust both arms under the couch and whipped Harry out fast, swinging him in the air. He sat back down holding Harry on his lap, tickling him without mercy. Harry's baby giggle filled the room.
Everyone watched, chuckling at the pair. After a few more moments, Harry yawned with a contented smile on his face.
"Looks like Dustbunny's tired," Lily said. She picked him. "Say goodnight to Sirius and Remus, Harry."
Harry couldn't talk much yet, but he blew animated kisses to his godfather and Remus. Remus rubbed his back. "Goodnight, Harry." Sirius waved.
"I'll be right back. Don't start trouble just because I'm out of the room." Lily took Harry upstairs.
"Wait 'til you hear what I did to her last week," James started the moment she was out of sight.
"It's still not funny, James!" She bellowed down the stairs.
The three sniggered, and James continued in a softer voice. "You know how she harps on me about my hair—and now Harry's too. I got tired of it last week, and put a spell on her mirror, so that no matter how many times she tried to fix her hair, there'd always be one section sticking out in the reflection."
"Bloody brilliant!" Sirius laughed.
"Young ears, Sirius," Lily called again.
"What did she do?" Remus asked, grinning.
"Didn't say a word about my hair for three days—a record! I finally told her on Friday. I'd made the poor girl burst into tears."
"Mr. Black, the dementors told me you haven't been eating," Psychizard Bob Bartler commented. He studied Sirius.
"What's the point?" Two more years had passed, everyone including his friends still thought him a murderer, Harry was in the hands of Merlin-knows-what kind of muggles, and he was still in Azkaban. The few times he'd tried to escape, the Dementors caught him, mere feet from his cell. There was no point. To any of it.
"Well, only you can decide what that might be. You continue to profess your innocence—if Pettigrew is alive, as you say, and he turns up sometime, you're free."
Sirius shrugged.
Bob had taken a liking to Sirius. He'd been his psychizard the fast year. Although he didn't think the man was innocent, he had hopes that Sirius had changed and could do some good in the world. "I have something for you." He dug into his robes and pulled out some yellow colored paper. "I got ahold of it from the muggle school—thought it might cheer you."
Sirius stared down at the paper. It had red stars bordering the edges, and black lines kept the scrawled handwriting in control.
If I Could Do Anything
By: Harry Potter
If I could do anything, I would fly like a bird in the sky.
I would hide from Dudley and the Dursleys and look down
at London to see what everyone was doing. Everyone would
look like ants. I would fly high enough to find Mum and Dad.
We would have fun, and I would meet friends and never go
back down to the ground. Flying would be fun. The End.
Sirius couldn't understand why his cell appeared blurry until he realized he had tears in his eyes. He couldn't move his eyes from the paper. He didn't think Azkaban had left any emotion in him. Nudging a food tray closer to Sirius, Bob left quietly feeling pleased.
"Sirius, are you sure you can handle Harry for the weekend?" Lily asked apprehensively. "He's still rather a handful."
"Padfoot can do it," James answered. "He's good with him. We can't get out of this assignment. We know the Ruttles castle better than anyone."
"I know, I know..." Lily sighed. "It's just...it's just... everytime we go, I...I never know if we're going to see him again."
"Of course you will!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everything will be fine there and here, really."
"Thanks, Sirius." Lily managed a smile. She gave Harry kisses on the cheeks and forehead. "We'll be back soon, baby, okay? Mummy and Daddy love you." She passed the baby to James who kissed the top of Harry's head.
"Be good for Padfoot, Harry. No spitting up on Sirius—he doesn't like it as much as Mum and I do." James handed Harry to Sirius. Harry was confused of this game of Musical Baby.
"Hey, Harry, ready for a wild weekend? Women like you've never seen, a few trips down the lane to the pub..." Sirius stopped at Lily's expression. "Just a joke, love."
"Well, wipe the lipstick off him before we get here, and Lily will never know," James said. He pounded Sirius on the back. "See you Sunday."
"See you, Prongs." Sirius picked up Harry's small hand and waved it to his parents.
Lily sniffed and gave Harry a very wet kiss before James pulled her away gently. They smiled once more at Sirius and Harry, then disapparated with a pop.
Harry's lip trembled as if he was going to cry. The three-month-old was confused. "No, no, can't have that, lad," Sirius admonished quietly. "No crying when you get to go on holiday with your godfather." Harry must've agreed because his lip stilled and curved into a smile.
"Good boy. You know Sirius will always take care of you, and we'll have a good time. Now, game of wizard chess?"
Rianna Riggler, psychizard, greeted Sirius with happy news during her August visit. She waved an article from The Daily Prophet. "Harry's at Hogwarts now! Guess what house he's in."
"Gryffindor," Sirius said. It couldn't be any other. That was the only house the son of James Potter would be in.
"Yes." Rianna was pleased at Sirius's smile. Although she didn't think he was innocent, she knew that he truly cared for Harry.
"Put it with the others, will you?"
Rianna magicked it up on the stone wall opposite Sirius with the other clippings. They nearly wallpapered the place by now. There was little space left. It was lucky Harry was in the news so much. Otherwise, Sirius would never have heard a word about him.
Rianna chatted on a bit. "The muggles didn't let him have the letter at first. Dumbledore sent thousands. Hagrid finally went to get him, and he doesn't think much of those Dursleys, he says. Called the uncle a 'great prune.' They never told Harry he was a wizard—called him and our kind 'freaks.' He'd never heard of Hogwarts, so it was a shock. The muggles told him his parents died in a car crash—imagine that!"
"A car crash kill Lily and James Potter?" He raged as much as he could. He was too weak to get his fist all the way in the air.
"A car crash, certainly not!" Someone called down the hall.
"It was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"
"The Dark Lord!"
"It was me! I did it!"
"You did not!"
"Wish I did!"
"Their brat has it coming to him at Hogwarts!"
"Curses on him! Death!"
"Shut it, all of you!" Sirius shouted. The din only grew louder.
"Ugh, I'm sorry I mentioned it," Rianna said. "I'm not supposed to upset you. I just thought you should know. The muggles were bad, but Harry is away from them. Until next summer anyway."
"He shouldn't be with them at all," Sirius replied. "He should've been with me all this time."
Rianna didn't think Sirius was innocent, but knew he really did care for the boy. Or seemed to, anyway. "Should'ves aren't worth thinking about, Sirius. You must focus on your mental well-being. Not lower your defenses. Should'ves will make you run mad."
"Run mad? You don't think I'm there?"
"Sarcasm. Nice," Rianna noted. "I'll be back soon. Keep eating, and don't listen to that rubbish down the hall. Harry will be fine."
"He doesn't know I exist, does he?"
Rianna hesitated. "Well, if the muggles didn't tell him he was a wizard or the truth about his parents, it's a good chance they didn't mention you, even if they did know." At the look on Sirius's face, she added hastily, "But who knows, really? It's not as if post's allowed in or out of here." She moved closer to the door. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you again soon."
Sirius didn't bother to say goodbye. He closed his eyes and felt like he was drowning in the words of the Death Eaters all around him, echoing off the walls, off his clippings about Harry.
Flying Ford Anglia Mystery Solved
Hogwarts reports that they have the answer to the mysterious Ford Anglia that flew all the way from King's Cross to Hogwarts last week. Two students, Ronald Weasley and The Boy Who Lived, were the ones driving this car, owned by Arthur Weasley of The Ministry of Magic. Inquiries are being made as to how Arthur Weasley got hold of the vehicle and why it was bewitched to fly and cloak itself.
The two boys arrived mostly uninjured, though they had a misfortunate incident with the Whomping Willow once they'd landed on school property. Both boys were seen in the infirmary and reported in good health, considering the close call of crashing to the ground on several occasions. They will both serve detentions. As for the seven muggles who spotted the car, they have had those memories effectively erased.
"Merlin's Beard, Harry," Sirius laughed, his first in a long time. "What a way to start off your second year. Twelve and driving enchanted cars. You've one up on your father and me—we never made it to school in a flying car."
His psychizard Tyrone Yuler gazed at the man with disdain as Sirius ripped the article from the paper. He wrote down several notes before looking at Sirius, scrutinizing. "You laugh because the Potter boy was in an accident?
These people never gave up trying to prove him sadistic. "I'm laughing," he said with clenched teeth, "because this article reminds me of the trouble his father James and I used to get into."
"So you enjoy seeing Potter in trouble? Like last year when he was in the Hogwarts hospital wing for undisclosed reasons."
"No, of course not." Sirius was too tired for this. He didn't answer any more questions. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep until Tyrone made a disgusted sound and stomped from the cell, defeated.
Sirius Black flew his motorcycle faster than he'd done in his life. Peter wasn't where he should've been. That left James, Lily, and Harry unprotected. He saw The Dark Mark in the sky even before he saw the Potters' house. He pushed the bike faster still.
When he landed, a sea of people parted. Sobs and screams filled the air.
"James and Lily?" He asked frantically. "Where?"
"Oh, Sirius, they're dead, they're dead! It was Voldemort—the Avada Kedrava curse!" Their classmate Juniper Bones cried out. He couldn't see her through the crowd.
Sirius fell to his knees, shaking, unaware of what he was doing, how long he was on the ground. Different voices comforted him, but he couldn't seem to hear clearly. After a while, Dumbledore hauled him up by the elbow. "Everyone's leaving, Sirius. You must do the same."
"Where are they?" Sirius had to see them.
Dumbledore led him silently to the front door. "We moved James into the living room, so we could get in. Lily's upstairs in the nursery. I'll leave you now. There's much to be done. Hagrid will be in to get Harry soon. Voldemort is gone. Someone will come for James and Lily...later."
Sirius didn't hear anything past Lily's being in the nursery. Dumbledore disapparated behind him. Sirius went to James first. His best friend's eyes were widened in shock, mouth open slightly. Other than his stillness, he was untouched. Sirius knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll get Wormtail, Prongs. I promise you. He's going to pay for this." Sirius stood. He had to see Lily. And Harry...How could anyone kill a child? "I'll be back," he told James.
Once he'd reached Harry's room at the top of the stairs, Lily's body was the first thing he saw. Her lovely green eyes were wide with fright and her wand remained frozen in her hand. A whimper and stirring from the crib startled Sirius, who pulled out his wand fast. He dashed over. Harry stood up on two chubby legs with blood mixed with tears running down his small cheek. Sirius lifted him up and out so fast, Harry cried out.
"Harry!" Sirius wet his sleeve with his tongue and cleaned off Harry's face. He suddenly remembered what Dumbledore had said about Hagrid coming, and wondered why he hadn't caught on immediately that Harry was alive. He wrapped Harry up in the blue blanket from his crib and carried him over to a rocking chair. Sirius let tears flow freely down his face as he rocked the little boy. The rocking motion was as soothing to Sirius as it was to Harry, who started to drift off. "I don't care how you survived, lad, only that you did. I don't think I could bear all three of you. I just don't think I could."
Thumping footsteps were on the stairs. Sirius had his wand back out and prepared to stand when a booming voice called, "It's only me, Hagrid! 'Zat you, Sirius?"
"Yes, it's me." The shouting had woken Harry back up. He was playing with tassels on Sirius's dragon-skin jacket.
Hagrid was pale and had been crying. "Poor James an' Lily! An' Harry! Ah, look at the little tyke! He'll grow up without knowing his parents, and..."
"No, he won't," Sirius answered sharply. Harry looked up at his tone. "I'll tell him everything he needs to know." He looked back down and waggled the tassles to distract Harry again.
"Well, erm, yeh see, Sirius, Dumbledore wants me ter bring Harry ter his muggle aunt and uncle's. He's ter stay there a while...til we know what's going on. They're saying sumptin' 'bout Harry stumped You-Know-Who and he's dead."
"I'm his godfather. I'll not turn him over to those fool muggles. I've met them—silly, ignorant..."
"Even so," Hagrid interrupted. "Dumbledore's orders. You'll get him back, I'm sure of it." He stared down at Lily's body and let out a short wail, followed by renewed tears.
Sirius didn't know what to think, what to do. He couldn't bring a baby while he was going after Wormtail. Maybe he would be safer with the muggles for now. He held Harry up so they were face-to-face. He spoke, eyes not leaving Harry's. "You're going with Hagrid for a little while—just a little while, I promise. I have to find whoever did this to James and Lily so we can all be safe and that bastard ("Sirius, mouth," Hagrid muttered) will pay for what he's done. I'll come for you SOON." Sirius hugged the baby to his chest, and Harry snuggled, hoping to get comfortable. Sirius breathed "I love you" into the boy's thick, unruly hair, and kissed his forehead before allowing Hagrid to take him. "Be careful, will you," he pleaded.
"I will, Sirius, I promise. It'll be a long trek there, but we'll do it."
"Take my bike," Sirius offered. He couldn't use it near anywhere Wormtail would be hiding—the bike's noise alone would give him away. "I won't be needing it anymore."
"Well, er, okay, if that's what you want," Hagrid answered. He shifted Harry to his left shoulder. "I'm going ter get going. Dumbledore's waiting. Get out soon, it's not safe here. I'm sorry about all o' this..." Hagrid started crying again as he headed out the nursery door. Harry watched Sirius getting farther away and stretched out a hand toward him, voicing displeasure.
"Bye, Harry," Sirius said. He heard the front door slam and his motorcycle start, then take off. He got up from the chair, scooped up Lily's body, and moved it downstairs by James's. He knelt beside them and screamed as if he'd never stop. The Dark Mark smirked overhead.
Another year later, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge was doing his annual inspection. Sirius caught eye of the newspaper in his hand. He hadn't gotten a paper in a couple of months. "Have you finished with The Daily Prophet? I've missed doing the crossword."
Fudge was surprised, but handed Sirius the paper without a word and kept walking.
Sirius scanned the front page. Fantasy Flight Broom Recall, Bewitched Muggle Earrings, Ministry of Magic Employee Scoops Grand Prize. He was about to turn the page when he spotted something. Or, someone, rather. In the article about the family—the Weasleys—winning a grand prize of sorts, a rat was perched upon one of the boys' shoulders. A very familiar rat. A rat named Peter Pettigrew, or Wormtail. The reason Sirius was in Azkaban and James and Lily were dead. He read the article quickly, breath catching in his throat when he reached the last paragraph. The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of the new school year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend. Pettigrew's at Hogwarts. With Harry.
Sirius leapt to his feet. He had to get there. If Voldemort came back—and the way things were building up in the papers, he could—Pettigrew was in prime position to grab Harry and bring him before Voldemort. Who would doubt him, then? Sirius had to get to Pettigrew first. He would commit the crime he'd be imprisoned for. The madness would be over. He could take over Harry's guardianship, and the world—starting with the Ministry of Magic—would be apologizing to him.
Looked at his walls covered with articles about Harry, Sirius started to think.
Escaping Azkaban wouldn't be easy. He'd attempted it several times before. But he'd figure out a way. He was the only one who knew Wormtail was alive, and he would not fail Harry, James, or Lily again.