Harry's Thoughts on Fan Fiction
What Harry would say if he read fan fiction about himself.
Okay, I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. Hermione and I are NEVER going to go out! Haven't the ANVIL sized hints been enough proof for everyone!
I am NOT a girl. All of this "Harry is secretly a girl but it's been hidden by a spell and now she's going to date Draco Malfoy and now Harry is pregnant with his baby" crap has got to stop! First of all if I was a girl (WHICH I'M NOT), why would I hide it? I mean, there is no reason why being a girl is terrible.
The thought of me with Malfoy is appalling, gross, disgusting, gross, vomit-worthy, and...gross. That goes for any other guy as well. I'M NOT GAY! I have never been gay, I will never be gay.
Okay, and the worst EVER is the ones about me having a relationship with Snape. Snape. I seriously threw up in my mouth when I heard this one. Severus Snape is greasy, slimy, big-nosed, stupid git and I would…NEVER…EVER…grrrrrrrrrrr.
On the issue of Voldemort being my father... enough said.
Oh, and Ron wants me to tell you that he's not gay either.
A/N: I really love some fan fictions based on these topics, but I thought that it might be funny to hear what Harry would think of them.