First Crush

Just as a reminder: With the exception of Kitty, these characters don't belong to me. However, I am allowed to make an alternate reality, where anything can happen...

Spiro Tower

Inside, Artemis was held captive. He had just come in and was about to talk on the secret microphone placed at his throat by Holly earlier this evening. Before he could even say a word, the door opened, and Arno threw open the door, saying: "Damn you, Kitty, Spiro told you time and time again to go with the experiments!" While doing so, he pushed a girl into the room. Very sullenly he slammed the door shut. Artemis was wondering what was going on, so he went to the door to take a look. The girl Kitty seemed strange. It wasn't her clothes, for they were like what any American kid would wear, but that she had bobcat ears and a tail. The tail was twitching madly, while Kitty was banging on the door exclaiming, "I am NOT about to let those imbeciles you call experts cut off part of my TAIL!"

"What a very strange girl." Artemis thought. "This might interfere with the plan. Drat! Well, let's see if we can improvise." Walking quickly, he came up behind the girl, but before he could even speak the largest Tiger he ever saw knocked him on his back with the tiger's paw on his chest.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my room?" the tiger said. No, wait, thought! Deciding to answer its question, Artemis said, "Well, I am Artemis Fowl. Where did Kitty go? I was only trying to talk to the girl when you came out of nowhere."

"I am Kitty, just in a different shape. The only reason you can hear my thoughts is because that is really how animals communicate." Replied Kitty, "But why are you in my room, I mean, regular jail cell?"

"Well, I am being held captive because of my C Cube. By the way, have you seen a blue cube anywhere????"

"No, but that would explain why Spiro is cursing a lot more than usual. And why I'm only sent to the lab once a week."

"Great, just great, now I really need to rethink the whole plan. Well, maybe I can use her to her advantage." Artemis thought.

"What's with your throat? It's got this weird patch." Kitty asked. Slapping him-self on the forehead, which he hasn't done since he was three, Artemis decided to ask why.

"How can you see this? It's supposed to be unseen by human eyes." Replied Artemis, "NO, wait, let me guess: your eyes are like a cat's night vision, except during the day, and since cats have better sight than us, you can see the very small difference between the colors of both my skin and the patch."

"Well, yeah, that pretty much explains it. But you still haven't answered my question: What does that patch do? You hardly look like as if you don't want people to notice a bandage on the neck." Replied Kitty, now in her human form, just with a tiger's ears and tail.

"What should I do? Maybe I should just lie to her about this. No need to make this anymore complicated than this." Artemis thought, "But what would Holly do about this?"

Outside the Spiro Tower

"D'Arvit," Holly silently swore, "This wasn't part of the plan. There wasn't supposed to be a girl here. Wait a second; I think I recognize the girl. Foaly, are you online?"

"As usual," replied the centaur, "The girl seems to be human, but it's almost like as if she was from some of the freaky experiments that one warlock Straum did."

"Wait a minute, who is Straum? And what does that have to do with this girl?" Butler asked.

"About fourteen years ago, a crazy warlock was found dead in his lab, with what you mud-men call freaks. Apparently, he was doing very cruel experiments where he abducted newborn babies from hospitals overnight to turn them into freaks, like snake boys and, this case, shape shifters. The Elephant Man is a good example of one of his early experiments." Holly explained.

"Yeah, but what does it have to do with this Kitty girl?" Juliet asked

"Well," Foaly cut in, "when we found out who was doing this, we went to Straum's lab to arrest him, but to our surprise we found him mauled to death. After Straum was killed, there was a mud-girl, just sitting next to him. She was returned safely, but with a tigers ears and tail. We kept tags on her, but so far she was able to keep to herself, especially after running away from the freak circus her parents dropped her off at. Apparently she was found by Spiro for experiments on Feline translators."

"So this girl can change into felines. What are we going to do about the plan?" Juliet asked.

"After I tell you this, you must stick with this plan." Artemis' voice said on the speaker.

"I guess we must stick with the new plan." Holly replied.

Back At The Tower

"Now remember Kitty," Artemis whispered, "You must stick with this plan as well as you can. This patch is a microscanner that helps us find a way to get my cube back and humiliate Spiro. I must be very careful about this because if this patch is found, we will soon perish. That will probably include you too because you are in the same room as me. Now, the main thing is..." And so on he went, telling Kitty (And the L.E.P. for that matter) what the new plan was. Kitty just listened carefully, until she came to understand what she had to do.

"Now, do you understand what needs to be done?" Artemis asked.

"Yes, I do." Replied Kitty.

"Good. Then later I will let you know when we carry out the plan."

"One question: does this have anything to do with-I think the name is called- L.E.P.recon?"

"...How do you know about the L.E.P.? You aren't a fairy are you?"

"No, I just remember from when I was about one. All I remember is being a tiger for the first time and stopping a man from I think changing me completely into a feline. Later these very short people came and I remember hearing them saying 'Open up, L.E.P.recon.' then when they came in they all started gasping and saying 'Oh, My Gawd' and things like that. Later I was put back in my room. Apparently I was only there for one night." Kitty looked sad, as if she wished she stayed there in the lab.

"Well," Artemis said quickly, "we had better get some rest for tonight. Where do you usually sleep?"

But when he turned to see her, she was already fast asleep on the floor in a snow tiger form.

"She looks so peaceful. And she is actually quite smart... for an American, anyway." Artemis couldn't help thinking.

"Especially for a girl that never really went to school. I was "adopted" to this freak circus in New Orleans, until I ran away and was captured by Arno Blunt." Kitty thought sleepily.

Spiro's office

"Arno, you fake shark!You were supposed to move Kitty to a different apartment when Artemis got here! Now he has a chance to get out of here with the C Cube!" Spiro had to bite through the unlit cigar to keep from banging the table with his frail fist.

"Sorry boss, it's just that when Kitty decided to bite my hand, I forgot about the new apartment and just put her in her old one. You try having YOUR hand bitten by a Sabertooth Tiger and keeping your head straight!" Showing his hand for evidence, Arno held up a heavily bandaged hand. "The doctor here said I was lucky that the fangs missed the artery on my wrist, so the bandages can come off by tonight for our little business arrangement..."

"Yes, yes. I still say Artemis will still somehow get to my vault tonight. If he does, I have quite the surprise for him." Looking at the surveillance, he then buzzed for Pex and Chips. "Pex, Chips, I have a job for you. There is a black van that's been circling our tower. Look inside, scare whatever is in the van, and then come back in."

Sitting back in his chair, he started stroking the C Cube in front of Arno. "Don't worry, after tonight, I won't need anyone, not even those dumb scientists, except you." Spiro whispered.

"Sir?" Said Arno.

Surprised, Spiro said, "What?"

"You're talking to inanimate objects again."

"So?"

"...I thought the doctor said to quit doing that."

"Well, this is an important reason to do so."

"Okay, boss."

"What a nut." Arno thought.

In the Elevator

Pex and Chips were once again pondering why we breathe. Apparently they are trying to see if they could live without breathing by holding their breath. After being blue-faced for about thirty seconds, Pex said to Chips, "So what are you going to do with the money of this next job?"

Chips said, "I don't know, maybe buy more Barney DVDs."

"Same here. Hey, now that we have gotten rid of Mo, how much more do you think we would have???"

After counting on their fingers for a while, they both looked at each other and said together: "A lot of cash."

Outside the Tower

Juliet was all fidgety again. She never really could stand still like her brother. She knew that this was something that was required a lot of standing still, but she still couldn't get used to this. She was also fidgety because she needed to think about what will happen after this. She knew that even after her lessons with Madame Ko, she could never be behind the shoulder of some important official. Except Artemis maybe. But Artemis said that this would be the last job. Then she noticed the two goons.

"Holly, we have two big and hairy trolls coming up. I'm going to have to knock them out."

"Okay," replied Holly, "But remember to NOT mark them."

"Fine."

Stepping into a black sweatshirt, she put the jade ring in her ponytail.

Outside The Van

Pex and Chips were outside, about to bang on the van, but suddenly the door opened and Juliet looked around in a confused way. "Is there, like, something wrong?"Juliet asked in her best teenage MTV voice.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Pex.

"Just getting my old man some sushi, but I didn't really hear him, especially since he's always spacing out physically and mentally."

Pex and Chips just stared. What is with this girl? She kept saying big words like Spacing and mentally. Getting impatient, Chips just grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and asked, "Is there anyone else in the van, or are you alone?"

The girl shook her head.

Chips flexed his digits. Juliet gasped. "So how many people are in your family?" Pex asked in his slow monotone.

"Six, including me. Dad, Two great-uncles, and the twins Kayla and Shayla. They went out for escargot. Really into the French cuisine and all." Juliet said quickly.

Pex looked like as if he was thinking. "Okay kid, open the van."

"Escargot?" Pex wondered aloud, "Isn't that, like, Snails?"

"Yeah, except I had fried."

"How was it?"

"Well, it was okay until I added the salt. Then it tasted all mushy."

Annoyed, Juliet slammed the door open while Pex and Chips. That was the mistake then and there. The girl fell forward onto her knees, then snapped her foot back until her foot connected with Pex's Solar Plexus.

"Aw, my bad." Said Juliet, straightening.

Chips was, and not for the first time I might add, stunned. "What did you do to him?"

"This." Juliet replied, while doing a pirouette. The ring in her hair swung around, and hit Chips right between the eyes. Chips fell like a sack of potatoes. Behind Juliet, Pex was still gasping.

"Hey," Said Juliet, kneeling beside Pex, "You know what?"

"what?" gasped Pex.

"Escargot tastes better soaked in butter." Juliet said nonchalantly as she pressed the nerve in Pex's neck. Unconsciousness was quick. Moments later, mulch was shuffling back, pausing to look at Pex and chips.

"So, what'd I miss?"