So...I decided to do a really random LoZ fanfiction!

Disclaimer: I am not Square Enix. I do not own anything but a couple aspects of the plot line. I also do not own Kyrie and her mother and a couple other general ideas because those belong to Peetabread.

Enjoy!

WritersWand

Evil Women

An LoZ Fanfiction

Link ran into Ganondorf's castle which stood on a high dune in Gerudo Desert, where the evil man had taken the semi-beautiful Princess Zelda.

You know, with all those fancy dresses and everything royal life comes with, Link has seen girls far prettier than the princess who weren't even royalty-or royalty of the good people at least.
With her long, neat, professional, dull, brown hair, pale skin from being inside all the time, fine, non-creased, non-callused hands from a work-free life, firm, perfected features made from having money, and fancy clothes she gave the appearance of a fine, young maiden that any man would die to court, metaphorically of course.
She wasn't his type. The best feature on the princess-in Link's opinion at least- was her eyes. They were small, but they were nicely shaped and a pretty blue with long eyelashes that were so good at batting at him, yet he never understood why she did that.
Anyways, he pulled the heavy doors open, feet skidding across the floor as he used his strength.
He ran in-sword and shield in hand, hat flapping around in the desert wind that blew in through the open door.
Ganondorf was nowhere in sight so Link took liberty and ran down the multiple flights of stairs to the basements, where her presumed the dungeons were. He looked around and quickly found them deserted.
Sighing, Link ran back up the multiple flights of stairs-Master Sword and Hylian Shield still in hand-as he ran through the hallways, swinging his sword, batting monsters away. Strangely, there weren't many around. That startled the hero.
He ran up to the high towers to check the prison cells there-finding them empty he ran to check the balcony, throne room, alcoves, and courts: all where past heroes had fought in, or so he had been told. He found them all empty.
Biting his lip, he paced around the court, his sword dragging behind him as he wondered what to do.
His eyes widened as a revolting idea came to mind. He could see the image so perfectly in his mind, so perfectly he could draw it, and he was an amazing drawer, even if he was a weak reader. He couldn't help it if the letters appeared all juggled up before his eyes. He managed to read signs and maps if he really concentrated.
Off topic, he can't help it he became distracted easily. The goddesses must be sniffing something to pick him as hero; maybe they had some snuff, or cactus juice.
Link did make a badass hero though, even if it did take him a while occasionally.
Link thought this as he ran up the multiple flights of stairs once again, stopping when he came to a long hallway, a velvet carpet under his feet.
He made his way to the door at the end of the hallway, he reached for the knob, and his hand hesitated on it, thinking of what could be going on in there.

A scene formed in his mind, he shook his head, as if to clear his mind of these thoughts.

He thrust the door open; it slammed against the adjacent wall. Link rushed in, sword and shield held out.
His murderous expression faded to wonder, curiosity, and pity as he saw the tall, grey skinned, orange haired Gerudo sitting on the bed before him, sobbing. Princess Zelda was nowhere to be found.
"Come sit Link, I'm not going to hurt you," the Gerudo said choking back a sob.
"How do I know that's true? How do you even know my name? Where's the princess? Did you hurt her?" Link thrust questions at the man.
"I have no weapons on hand, just look at my condition; do I look like I'll be able to attack? I know your name is Link as you know mine is Ganondorf, all past lives have always squared off in the name of the Hylian Princess. As for her: I let her go, she's probably nearly at her castle by now, I haven't hurt her, or for what I can remember, if I had I apologize with my life," Ganon thrust answers back at Link.

Link studied the desert dweller up and down. He did seem to be in a poor condition.

He hesitated for a moment before slowly sheathing his sword and putting his shield on his back. What Ganon had said was true, they have always fought, and he has always been the hero to save the princess, in different forms of course.
But the thing that stumped Link was about the princess herself.
Link looked at the man with his red, puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks. He is definitely one for pity, if what he will say is true that is.
"Tell me something," Link started as he sat on the edge of the seat opposite Ganon, weary of his surroundings.

Ganon looked at him, waiting for him to finish.
"What do you mean you let her go? That you haven't hurt her for as long as you can remember?" Link asked.
Ganon sighed. "It's a long story, you up for it?"
Link nodded.
Ganon drew in a breath and began:

"Once, many, many years ago, when I was a young lad-not too much older than you if I remember correctly-I was quite the handsome fellow, quite charming to if I might say," Ganon started telling his story.
Link wrinkled his nose, not being able to imagine this.
Ganon continued:
"I was a happy bachelor, living my plentiful life, until the fire came. The Evil Woman…" Ganon broke off from his story."You know of the three goddesses Farore, Nayru, and Din, correct?"
Link nodded. "Nayru of love and wisdom, Farore of wind and courage and Din of fire and power,"
Ganon nodded. "They are immortal?"
Link nodded.
"Well, as I see it, immorality is eternity and eternity can get quite boring, yes?
"I guess,"
"Well, Din is quite the mischievous goddess and I believe she became bored and decided to find herself a toy, you know of that triforce on your left hand?"
Link nodded, looking at the back of his hand. "Farore guides me, Nayru guides Zelda and…" he trailed.
"Din 'guides' me," Ganon finished, holding up his left fist.
Link gulped, understanding. "If Din became bored, who says Farore and Nayru can't?" Link asked, getting nervous.
Ganon shook her head. "Nayru is good, too wise, loving-hence being the goddess she is- even if she does get bored she won't be troublesome like Din, therefore the princess is safe,"
Link gulped. "What about Farore?"
Ganon shrugged. "I can't say. Your goddess has always been borderline, on the fence between good and bad. If someone puts a little weight on one side…who knows? She balances Nayru and Din. She may get bored one day, but it won't be in our lifetime,"
Link let out a sigh, reassured and relieved.
Anyways, Ganon continued his story:

"When Din took me as her slave, her toy, she issued me as the King over all Gerudos. I'm sure you heard of the tradition that in my race only one boy is born every century and that boy shall be king. Well, that tradition is false. I-I killed every single boy so they wouldn't interfere with my throne,"
Link's eyes grew wide and he inched his chair away a little.
"But that's not all. Under Din's control I raped and murdered a young shape shifter after she bore my heir, the girl you love…She made me hurt that girl, even though I had millions of Gerudo women to choose from…" Ganon trailed, lost in thought, hands clenched in fists.
This gave Link time to think. The girl he loved. He knew she was Ganondorf's daughter but he didn't know the whole story. Everyone assumed she was the daughter of the devil, princess of evil.
She did have her days, but she was gorgeous, funny, and nice. Even if she did have a tendency to call him an idiot a lot.
Link met her mother before, as a ghost, in dire circumstances. She was pretty, in a dark kind of way, though Kyrie was way prettier. He looked up at Ganon. He guessed she had to get it from more than her mother.
Anyways, this isn't about his lover, it's about Ganon, who spoke again:

"As if that wasn't enough she made me kidnap the princess frequently, and it's been going on since the beginning of time, when Hyrule was still young. I can't say what happened exactly, you're going to have to ask the princess herself. But let's move away from this depressing topic," Ganon finished.

"I want to know how you got through the desert?" he asked.
"I ran, why?" Link asked back.
"Oh…normally they would just jump any male in sight…what time of day is it?"
Link's eyes flickered over to the window. "Sunset, why? I saw no one,"
"Oh, so you came when they weren't out yet," Ganon said.
Link looked frustrated. "What are you getting at Ganon!"
Ganon's eyes didn't move from the window as his hands shook and his lip quivered. "They come at night when the desert sun is asleep and its cooler. They come with cactus juice to offer me and get me out of my right mind…"
"What are you talking about? Who are they!" Link screamed, frustrated.
Ganon's eyes flickered over to Link for a moment. "They sucked at my face! They made me ugly!"
Link was about to speak when Ganon did.
"The women are coming!" he shrieked.
A rock shot in through the window, crashing through the floor next to Link. Link stood up and walked over to the window. He peered out and saw a group of young Gerudo girls giggling and waving.
"They are thirsty, you don't know what they do," Ganon said as Link turned to him with that masculine kind of look on his face.
"They aren't like normal girls, they are savages," he said as Link sat down for him to explain.
When he finished both males were sitting on the bed, hugging, clutching each other for dear life, fearing what would happen if they ever left.
When they realized this they jumped apart and ran out of the room screaming.
Beware of the women!
They will suck your face!

The End

Thanks for reading!

I hope the spacings okay for you and you could read it fine =P