Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor his magical world.
Written for the "Creep Quotes" challenge, as placed by imdeadsothere. Used are quotes 9, 11, 16, 23, 26, 28, 31, 33, and 43 with a few tweaks.
Death Turtles
"Fred? Do you think that that there is death after death?
"Is there death after death? Are you mad, George? What is the point of the first death then? If there was it would be a rather inefficient system, wouldn't it?
"But think about it! It could be that we are only in one plane of existence right now! In what we call 'death' you might just enter another plane. And in that plane there would be another death."
"Have you gone absolutely looney?
"And then there could be an infinity of planes, which mean an infinity of deaths. It really is turtles all they way down, you know."
"George, seek solace in your dreams. They protect you from the cold clutches of reality: whether there is death after death, or not, Mum is still going to hit the ceiling when she finds out that we turned Percy into a satyr."
"But he looks so good with hooves. After all, were only human."
"Moving. Breathing. Living Disasters, you mean," said Percy, walking—or really trotting into Fred and George's room.
"Is it sad that the only thing that gets me out of bed every morning is the thought I may get to see you suffer?" asked Fred with a grin.
"That is a little sad, Fred," said George. "Don't get out of bed just to see him suffer—I am sure there is a bedside service for that."
"Look at me! The hooves and horns still haven't gone away! And I was supposed to meet Penelope today. You two are absolutely evil!" exclaimed Percy.
"Can't help it," said Fred. "We were born that way."
" Evil isn't born, it's created. In the case of you two, I would say that you created each other," said Percy stiffly.
"And you thought you were in control," said George to Fred. "But I have created you."
"But I have also created you. It must be some kind of cycle—like your death after death turtle thing—" replied Fred.
"Death turtle thing? What have you been doing to turtles? Don't make me get Mum involved," said Percy.
"Death turtles, Fred! Now why haven't we thought of that before?" said George, his eyes going wide.
Fred's eyes went wide as well, perfectly understanding George. "It's ingenious, really! We could have a whole line you know…death frogs, death owls. They would be less maintenance than a regular pet and quite the conversation piece."
"You two are sick," said Percy.
"Relax, Perce. We don't mean actual dead animals," said Fred.
"On that thought…I wonder if You-Know-Who ever thought to make Inferi out of animals?" pondered George.
"You're the reason I have nightmares," said Percy trotting out of the room. "And Mum is going to have a fit! Really, she's going to kill you when I show up to dinner with hooves!"
Fred shrugged, "We are all waiting in a long line just to die." He then turned to George, "Now George, I have another idea…"
"It had better be a good one."
"All my ideas are good ones! Anyway, this one is purely speculative."
"Here we go again," said George.
" In forty days and forty nights God erased the whole world. I'll do it in three..."
"With or without death turtles?"
The End