Here With Me
Inuyasha awakened high atop a great pine tree, his nose twitching as he smelled the familiar scents of a new day. Beyond the scent of pine and wood he detected the smells of the camping party coming to life below the boughs of the tree he'd taken refuge in. Sango's smell... Miroku's smell... the kitsune, with a vague odor of Kagome lingering on him from sleeping beside her... and Kagome's...
Inuyasha bolted upright when he couldn't smell Kagome, his heart pounding in his ears. He launched out of the tree, landing on the ground and confirming with his eyes what his nose had told him. Kagome was completely gone, her sleeping bag and traveling pack as well.
With both worry and anger running through him Inuyasha stormed over to the half-awake monk. "Where's Kagome!?" he yelled, wrenching the houshi up by the collar of his robes.
Miroku swatted Inuyasha's claws away. "She left already," he replied sleepily. "Said she had to get back early."
*I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here*
Inuyasha's ears flattened with hurt, his eyes going wide. She left, already, and didn't even say goodbye.
With a snarl Inuyasha took to the air, landing a few minutes later by the well. He walked over to it and grabbed hold of the edge, ready to leap inside and bring Kagome back. He stopped though.
She won't be happy. If she left she left for a reason and won't want him there dragging her back to him... to them. Better to have last seen her smiling, instead of yelling at him and telling him to 'SIT!'.
Inuyasha slumped next to the well, drawing his legs up and covering them with the giant sleeves of his kimono.
*And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory*
He drew one clawed hand out of the sleeve, studying the sharp nails and roughened skin. These claws had done so much, good and bad. They'd tasted the blood of humans and youkai alike. Killing and wounding for both sport and to protect those precious to him.
*Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide*
To protect... that had only been recently. After he met Kagome and they had gathered their small traveling group. But she had been the first. She had pulled out the Tetsusaiga and stood fearlessly before his brother, had risked her life to save that of an annoying kitsune child, and time and time again he had to protect her. He would never refuse. But now... now she was gone, in a place where he couldn't reach, where he couldn't protect her freely. Every time she left his heart ached, a part of him suddenly went missing, a sense of loss and helplessness overwhelmed him. The others never told her how much he really moped and sulked every time she left. They respected his pride at least that much.
Inuyasha leaned his head back against the wooden side of the well, withdrawn golden eyes filled with loss staring up at the sky. Come back... come back soon.
*I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me*
Kagome lay on her bed, catching up on lost sleep from waking up to leave so early. The alarm next to her bed suddenly went off with a loud beeping sound, rousing the still fully dressed girl from her slumber. Her hand slammed down on the alarm clock, putting it back to sleep, and turned over onto her back, her eyes focusing blankly on her off-white ceiling. She had school today and needed to catch up on her studies quickly. Her eyes drifted over to the phone sitting quietly on her desk.
*I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream*
Every time she talked to her close friends she was bombarded with questions. She really needed to get ojii-chan to tell better lies for her. And then there was Houjo, sweet Houjo, who would always be ready to hand her another get-well gift. She studied the pile of goods on her dresser, still wrapped and untouched since the day she'd received each one.
*And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been*
Why did I leave? Kagome asked herself silently. They were finding jewel more jewel shards with each passing day and if she'd sacrificed another week or so they might have come much closer to the end of their quest. Not to mention that every time she came back things became more complicated. But she had to, she had a life here that needed to be lived as well. She couldn't ignore her responsibilities, in her world or theirs.
She glanced down at the partially completely Shikkon no Tama around her neck, noting the way it glowed softly with unspoken power. Her hand came out to touch the cool surface, feeling the smooth yet sharp edges where the other half should be. At her touch the jewel glowed a little stronger, its incomplete edge taking on a brighter sheen, almost as though it was begging to be made whole again. Only her, only her touch made it do this.
*Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide*
Kagome turned over, ignoring the digits on her clock that read she was already late for school, and dropped the jewel onto the bedspread. Her fingers absently traced the pattern, her thoughts random and inward. 'Inuyasha will be mad when he finds I've left,' she thought, feeling slight anger at the thought. 'He never understands what I have to go through, its always the jewel to him, always!'
Kagome shut her eyes tightly, willing away the anger that threatened to boil. It was so annoying, how he would come after her, or yell at her for hours after she got back about how long she had taken, but... 'But what?' she thought, noting how her thoughts had taken an unexpected direction. But every time she came back, his eyes... they looked so sad, but so relieved. It was always gone in a second, but she'd come back to see those brief eyes enough that she knew it was real. Like he was concerned, or worried almost. The thought was both embarrassing and flattering and Kagome's cheeks flushed a warm hue.
For the first time Kagome wondered just what Inuyasha went through when she left. Miroku and Sango had both hinted on separate occasions that Inuyasha wasn't as genki as she has assumed he'd be with her absence. And then Shippo always liked to tease Inuyasha when she came back about how inactive he'd been. Before she'd always brushed it off as meaningless banter between the two. Now though she started to think.
"Inuyasha..." she said softly, her voice a whisper carried by the wind. Could you really care that much? Could you really share the feelings I do? Could you...
*I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be, until you're resting here*
Inuyasha's ears swiveled unconsciously, picking up on a barely audible sound. "Inuyasha..."
His eyes jerked open, looking around himself with surprise. He could have sworn he'd just heard Kagome's voice. He stood up and peered into the well, then let out a sigh of disappointment when no smell, sight, or sound of Kagome greeted him.
"Kagome..." he muttered softly, slouching down against the well again. I want to see you...
*I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me*
"Kagome..." a sad voice whispered, rousing Kagome from her thoughts. She sat upright in bed, her eyes searching her room for the owner of the melancholy voice. When her eyes spotted no one she got up and walked to her window, half-expecting to see a familiar half-youkai perched in her tree, his golden eyes staring at her with unspoken emotions.
But only a pair of nesting birds greeted her desperate gaze. She could have sworn she'd just heard Inuyasha's voice say her name. But he sounded so sad, so unlike himself.
Kagome's hand came up to clutch at her chest with worry. Maybe... maybe something happened! Why else would he be calling to her? Even so, how could she hear him if he wasn't here? Kagome swallowed, her brow creased with worry. 'I have to see him, I have to make sure he's ok, because... because I... love him.'
*Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide*
A light scratching, scrambling sound roused Inuyasha from his light slumber, a nap he was hoping would help him forget Kagome for the moment. His eyes snapped open and looked to his right, only to see a pale hand gripping the edge of the well from the inside. In another second Kagome's head appeared over the top, her eyes holding a desperate, determined look to them.
Inuyasha rose, still unnoticed by her, and reached out to grab her by the waist. He hoisted her up the rest of the way, bringing her out of the well and setting her down beside him.
Kagome flushed lightly as she felt Inuyasha's arm circled around her waist, their bodies close now that he'd set her down. "Thank... you," she mumbled quietly, trying to avert her blushing face.
Inuyasha noted her embarrassment and released his hold on her, crossing his robed arms over his chest. "What are you doing back?" he asked, his question coming out a little harsher than he'd intended. Truthfully, he was glad to see her, maybe even hopeful that she'd stay, but words never seemed to come out the right way around her. Teasing and yelling was more familiar, more comfortable, despite the fact that most of the time he wished he could take back his harsh words.
"I..." Kagome faltered. He sounded just fine, nothing like the voice she'd heard before. Maybe it had all been her imagination, he'd probably laugh at her anyway if she told him the truth. "I, forgot something... I think."
"You think?" Inuyasha asked, wondering why she wouldn't meet his eyes, her gaze darting instead all over the grass underfoot.
Kagome shook her head, then turned to smile up at Inuyasha, her eyes closed, before turning the rest of the way to face the well. "Nevermind," she said with false cheerfulness. "It was my mistake."
She moved to bring her leg over the side of the well, when a hand on her arm stopped her. "Huh...?"
Inuyasha was looking at her strangely, with that look she'd sworn she'd seen so many times but missed when she blinked. "Inuyasha..."
"Don't leave," he said quietly. "If you don't have to, you're already here and..." his voice faded away, his golden eyes falling to the ground with a look of helplessness.
*I won't go
I won't sleep
And I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be, until you're resting here*
Kagome lowered her leg from the edge of the well, her eyes watching Inuyasha closely. When his head didn't raise to meet her gaze she lowered her free hand over Inuyasha's, which was still lying on her arm, and squeezed it lightly.
He looked up then, his eyes expressing an unfamiliar look of hope. Kagome smiled lightly, but her eyes conveyed her sadness. "I have my obligations back home, I can't just leave them..."
Inuyasha opened his mouth to speak, but Kagome's hand was faster and came up to cover his lips with her fingertips. His eyes opened wide with surprise at the contact, his mouth still partly open but his words effectively stopped.
"Inuyasha, please understand. I have two lives, one in my world and one with you. As much as I want to stay, you and I both know that I can't. But... when you need me, please come for me. I promise that I'll come back right away when you do."
"But I...."
Kagome hushed him again with her hand. "I know," she said softly, her eyes sparkling with tears. "I do too. But I have to go back."
She released the hand she had been holding, letting both hands fall to their sides. With a pained smile she backed up and sat on the edge of the well. "Ja ne," she bid him softly, then turned and fell to the well bottom.
*And I won't go
And I won't sleep
And I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me...*