URUXRAVEN ONE-SHOT
By
Reptilian-Angel
ME: Just a funny one-shot I came up with after seeing the newest ARCH page; dialogue 90% and story 10%, hope u like it, I owe nothing sadly.
"Please, Raven?"
"No, Uru."
"Pretty please?"
"The physical appearance of please doesn't change anything."
"Pretty please with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top?"
"That's not going to work, either."
"Please?"
"No."
"C'moooon, pleeeasse? They really itch!"
"That is none of my concern, Uru."
"I can't do it by myself, my arms are too short!"
"So just change back and do it yourself!"
"You need to concentrate in order to shift and I can't even think straight!"
"Then go get Kor to do it for you!"
"He's out in town with Tuff and Riley and I'll look ridiculous if I ask him."
"And you don't think you'll look any less ridiculous asking me?"
"Raven, please, can't you just –"
"No, no and no."
"Aw, Raven –"
"Uru, I want to retain what dignity I have and what you're asking me is way below dignifying."
"No one has to know!"
"Not the point, Uru."
"I promise, do me this one favor and I won't tell anybody."
"Uru –"
"C'mon, please, Raven, it's killing me!"
"How can a disturbance in your skin kill you?"
"Not literally, it's a – Oh, nevermind, just help me please, it's – ACK!"
"Now what's wrong?"
"It's getting worse!"
"I'm still not doing it."
"Raven, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PUH-LEEEEZE don't make me beg!
"You're already begging."
"Then please make me stop!"
"Uru –"
"Please?"
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just this once, right?"
"Yes!"
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And you'll tell no one of this, right?"
"I promise I won't!"
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just how much do I have to do exactly?"
"Just where the itch is!"
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fine, I'll do it."
"Great Maker, thank you! Really, you have no idea what this means to me –"
"Don't tell me! I don't want to know, let's just do this and get it over with!"
"Right!"
". . . . . . . You really want me to put my hand there?"
"Almost, just a little lower . . ."
"Right here?"
"A little more . . ."
"Okay . . ."
"Okay now a little to the left . . ."
"Here?"
"Yeah, right there!"
"Alright."
"Aaaahhh . . . . Yeah, that's the spot . . ."
"How long do I need to do this?"
"Not for too long, just for few more seconds . . ."
"Good, because it's very sweaty."
"Don't be a baby, it'll wash right off."
"Right."
". . ."
"Don't wag your tail."
"Sorry, I can't help it."
"Look, am I almost done because I really don't want to –"
"Uh, Raven?"
Raven froze. Slowly, both he and Uru turned their heads. Their faces immediately fell in horror.
Credenza stood in the doorway, looking at the both of them with a bemused expression on her face. The sight before here consisted of Raven with his hand poised underneath Uru's arm and fingers curled for scratching with Uru, in Full Whale Morph for some reason, with the said tiny arm raised for easier access for the latter's hand.
All in all, a rather strange sight.
Credenza looked over the both of them again, making them sweat even more nervously. Finally after a minute, she asked, "What are you doing?"
". . . . . I was, uh . . . . . . Helping Uru to try and . . . . . . Scratch an itch . . . . ."
"Really?"
". . . . . . . . . Yes."
". . . Uru?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you making Raven scratch your armpit?"
". . . I was, uh . . . I was just about to go for a swim and, uhm . . . I got a really bad itch and –"
"Uru . . ."
". . . . . . I have a big head . . . . . . And little arms . . . . . . . and I just . . . . . . . . . . . . . I didn't think it through."
"I can see that."
". . ."
". . ."
". . ."
"Raven?"
"Yes?"
"You can take your hand out of Uru's armpit now."
". . . . Right."
"And Uru?"
"Yeah?"
"You can shift back to Human form now."
". . . . Right."
"And make sure you put on some pants afterwards."
". . . Right."
"See you later, boys." With that, Credenza turned around and left, leaving the two alone.
". . ."
". . ."
"Uru."
"Yeah?"
"We never speak of what happened here."
"Yep."
"And if you do, heir or not, big brother or not, I will murder you in your sleep."
"Fair enough."
"And Uru?"
"Yeah?"
"You ever ask me to do this again, I will chop all your hair off in your sleep."
"Got it."
". . ."
". . ."
". . ."
". . . If it helps, you're really good at scratching, you've got the nails for it –"
"AGGH!"