Title: Somewhere Out There
Author: Alli

Email:
Characters: Jeff, Trish (told from Trish's point of view), and Lisa (Victoria)
Summary: Fic based on the Our Lady Peace song "Somewhere Out There"
Author's Notes: The fic was written during the Jeff/Trish angle before his departure from the WWE. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

I breathed in deeply as I tried to stop crying. "Not here Trish, not now." I told myself as I got up off the gray carpet floor. I pulled my hat down to cover my now splotchy face. "Why does he act like this?" I asked myself. I hurried down the hall, hoping to make it to my dressing room without seeing anyone. I turned the corner and ran into someone.
"Why don't you watch where the hell you-" I stopped and looked up.
"Sorry." He murmured.
"Jeff." I whispered.
Our fight from the night before flashed in my memory, me calling him a nobody, him calling me a tramp.
"Trish." He wiped away a single tear from my face.
I tried to reach out to him, I wanted him to hold me, but he pulled away nervously.
"I've gotta go." He said as he abruptly left, killing the tension that was steadily growing. This wasn't like him, he was in his own world, a world I wish he would let me into.

Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space

I made it to my dressing room with more than a few "What happened to her?" stares. "Great they all want to know what happened to their 'perfect' women's champion." I slammed the door shut and threw my hat across the room. I grabbed my makeup bag and walked over toward the mirror, I was afraid to look into it, afraid of what I might see. "Great!" I sighed sarcastically. I washed my face and re-applied my makeup. Today was not a good day, and on top of that I had to wrestle tonight. I sat down on a chair to look through my duffel bag. I stopped when I pulled out a large orange Adidas shirt. I held it to my face and breathed in his scent. "Damn him. Why is his shit in here?" That was the shirt he wore when we had a late night picnic together.

We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away

I fondly remembered sitting on the grassy hill together, his arms wrapped around me protectively. That night was perfect, we didn't fight, we were just so happy to get to be together.

I came crashing back to reality. I dropped his shirt beside me and tried to regain my focus. "Okay I've got a match against Lisa, I'm going to retain my title. She's going to go for the Widow's peak, I'll reverse it. Stratusfaction and then the 1,2,3." I reminded myself of the end of our upcoming match. "Breathe, it'll be alright." I assured myself.
I began to stretch in anticipation; I didn't want to just sit. I needed to do something. I paced the room and bounced a bit, just trying to get my thoughts away from Jeff.

Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives

There was a knock on my door. I checked myself over in the mirror before answering it.
"Hey!" Lisa said happily.
I managed a smile for her, but she could always tell when I was down.
"Did you and Jeff have another fight?" She asked with her hands on her hips.
"Yeah, last night." I said faintly.
"I swear if he keeps this up...I'll..." She started.
I couldn't help but laugh. We both crashed on the chairs.
"Are you gonna be okay for tonight?"
Lisa was so great, I don't know what I'd do without her. She was always there for me, and I knew she'd kick Jeff's ass if I said the words.
"Yeah I'll be fine. Shouldn't we be heading out?"
"Damn straight! And we're gonna blow the roof off here in Seattle." She said as she pulled me up and tried to get me hyped and ready.
"We're in California Lisa."
"Oh it's all the same!" She laughed as we walked down the hall together.
I came to a halt and watched the monitors; Jeff was out there.

I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
And all we are
Is all so far

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there


Jeff got the three count after his Swanton Bomb and came bouncing backstage. He walked past me, trying not to look at me.
"That's it I'm gonna kick his ass." Lisa said as she started to walk after him.
"Lisa don't." I called to her.
"Oh alright, but that boy is asking for it! Oh we're up, good luck." We always hugged before our matches, just for comfort, to get rid of any last minute jitters. Lisa's music hit and she went down to the ring. I grabbed my women's belt, put it on, and waited for my music to play. I walked down to the ring as enthusiastically as possible. Luckily our match was a success.
"It went well."
"Yeah, but I swear if I hear another 'we want puppies' chant I'm gonna loose it." I said.
"I know what ya mean." She giggled a little bit.
"Well I'm gonna go get changed." I motioned toward my dressing room.
"Okay. If you need me you know where I am."
"Hey Lisa," I called to her. "Thanks for everything."
"No problem." She responded with a genuine smile.

I walked back into my dressing room and dropped my belt on a chair.
"Trish?" A voice asked shakily.
I looked over and saw Jeff getting up from the other side of the room.
"Jeff, what are you doing in here?" I questioned, angry that he would invade my privacy.
"I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it, it was just, Trish," He stuttered as he tried to find words to explain what he was feeling. "I thought I had lost my drive to succeed, or even to try any more. But I just needed a break."
He had gotten so close to me; I didn't even realize it. We were inches apart. His intoxicating smell lured me in. He gently caressed my face, and I melted against him.
"Forgive me?" He asked.

Hope you remember me
When you're home sick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back some day
On a bed of nails I wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out or fade away

I nodded my head yes. He held me in his arms, the arms that I missed having wrapped around me.
"I'm scared Jeff." I mumbled as I looked up at him.
"What about?" He inquired.
"Everything. Our relationship, you."
"Why are you scared about me?"
"I'm just afraid you're going to burn out again, and that you'll leave me." Tears flowed down my face.
"Shhh..." He soothed me. "I'm going to be fine don't worry. And I'd never be stupid enough to leave you."
He kissed my forehead softly. I smiled amidst my tears. I knew he didn't mean it though. He didn't know he didn't mean it. But I could tell. As much as I loved him I knew that we weren't meant to be together. I couldn't enter his world. We were destined to be apart, but close enough that the pain would never heal. Ever.

I sobbed uncontrollably as I watched with horror the events of my life unfold. Jeff left me. He said he wouldn't but he did. I knew we weren't meant to be...but that didn't sooth the pain I felt every time I heard his voice, his name, even my name. I was empty without him, and yet he seemed better off without me. All I could do was watch as he continued to fly without wings, live without me.

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there